CHAPTER 22 A False sense of accomplishment

PHEW! Okay I've done enough posting for today, hahaha I'm evil I'm going to make you review each chapter separately (well I can't make you but I would like too, okay not true I appreciate you just reading!) Thank yous are at the bottom of the page!

Letting the warm water run down her body, Lily let out an irritated sigh. She shook her body around trying to release the tension in her neck and shoulders. Finally she gave up, even the calming sensation of the water running down her back wasn't making her feel any better. If anything she felt as though she was wasting time. Pulling the closest towel around her she began to walk out of the bathroom until she was stopped by the unmistakeable hands of James.

He pulled her into what should have been a long kiss, but it was quickly cut off.

"James, not now, I'm really stressed" she said already irritable.

"I'm sure I can think of some ways to make you relax" James whispered seductively.

"Didn't you hear me" she snapped "I said NOT NOW" she yelled her temper getting the better of her.

"WELL WHEN THEN?" he roared in reply "or have you forgotten about your promise to come with me to the stupid Ministry ball".

That stopped Lily short, she had forgotten. In all her panic over how much work she needed to do, she had completely forgotten.

"James, I'm really sorry. I have too much work I need to catch up on" she said meaning to look apologetic but knowing it looked strained.

Oh so it's all about what you want now? Too busy to give me the time of day or spend a little time with me, I have needs too you know!" he snapped in reply.

"Needs, NEEDS. Why don't you grow up and take a look around. If you weren't so focused on your own needs you'll see everybody else has them as well and they definitely do not include your sex life" Lily screamed her green eyes blazing as she strode away from an angry James and ran right into Alice.

"ARGH" Lily yelled.

"Okay calm down King Kong, what's wrong" Alice replied.

"James is what's wrong. Stupid egotistical jerk…if he thought…well…I don't know what I….stupid prat…thinks he so cool…"

"Lily you're rambling" Alice stated

"Here" Lily said shoving an envelope into Alice's chest before storming off, muttering to herself once more. Frowning Alice opened the envelope and she was surprised when she read the invitation. She never knew the Ministry had any balls, none that she had heard of anyway.

"Could be fun, meet some new guys" Alice thought to herself and stowed the envelope carefully inside her robes and began to hum lightly as she decided what to wear.

"Damn" Lily swore to herself. She couldn't for the life of her find her notes on Animagi. She moved her piles of books around and began rummaging through sheafs of parchment in search of her notes. She felt the throbbing waves of a headache which had been threatening to break all day finally crash around her.

As usual she was trapped inside the caverns of the library surrounded by the endless amounts of information. Remus was also somewhere nearby trapped in the same nightmare. Peter however was in his usual place, the kitchens. For him food was solace. He wasn't as stupid as everyone assumed, he heard the talk. Everybody wondered how he got to be friends with two popular boys and their quiet friend who had a calm demeanour and a knack for seriousness.

If you asked any teachers to describe Peter Pettigrew it would probably start and end with his friends and their attributes. Who really knew the troubles of the slightly tubby and hardly talented Peter Pettigrew? Many people speak of prejudice, but what about those people who never get noticed, those with outspoken friends who so easily get pushed to one side in an attempt to impress. The foil for some else's good humour or worse, he grimaced at the thought, good looks.

This was what Peter Pettigrew was good at, ask anybody, if they even knew who he was. No ambition but to be noticed, perhaps to get a few girls to notice him instead of asking him to deliver their love notes or offers of…well…things Peter Pettigrew could only dream about. And dream about it he did, one couldn't expect any self respecting teenage boy not to, much to the mousy haired boys dismay. He thought of how James and Sirius would roar with laughter and offer to set him up with a girl that fancied them and not him. That liked James Quidditch ability or Sirius' good looks.

He tried very hard not to be envious and most of the time he succeeded. Being surrounded by all the things he did not posses 24 hours a day and seven days a week felt like salt being rubbed into his wounds. The clattering of a plate being pushed towards him woke him immediately out of his trance and mechanically picked up the fork and began to eat the food in front of him. James would probably be somewhere with Lily, Sirius would be brooding or trying to avoid the latest unashamed girl chasing him, Remus would be in the library and he, Peter was in the kitchen with a sad faraway look in his eyes. Everything was in its place.

Brooding over his eggs Sirius eyed everyone as they made their way into the Great Hall fro breakfast. Those with bleary eyes who never wanted to get up and those who were bursting to get to a class or to someone. With interest he eyed a brunette with two of her friends enter the hall. Her friends were giggling and pointing at someone and she merely rolled her green eyes in annoyance. She snapped at them and made her way over to an empty spot on a table, not looking distinctly worried that her friends were glaring at her. Her friends started to whisper until she turned to them and said:

"Breezy in here isn't it? It's funny though I can't feel it, but I can definitely hear it" and with her final retort she left the hall without a backwards look.

Sirius' smiled into his eggs. She had spirit and she didn't like her friends gossiping. All excellent traits Sirius thought to himself with another smile, quite unaware that James was staring at with a look of incredulity on his face. Consuming the rest of his breakfast at an alarming rate he strode out of the hall, with a touch of smile playing on his lips. James and Remus traded looks with eyebrows raised and Peter waited to see the question behind those looks, but it never came. He returned quietly and unnoticed to his breakfast.

Meanwhile the green eyes which had so quickly turned on her supposed friends were now deep in concentration. Transfiguration was never an easy subject by anyone's standards. This class was with the Hufflepuffs who, while mostly a friendly bunch, were finding it increasingly difficult. She was without a doubt a talented witch, who neither wanted nor needed her friends gossiping about everyone's private lives, including her own. She was quite aware that she hadn't had a boyfriend for some time now. She tried not to let it bother her. She was told she was intimidating, but that could not be so. She merely spoke her mind when it was necessary and did not normally take no for an answer.

Cutting into her thoughts was the clear and commanding voice of Professor McGonagall informing the class of their homework and dismissing them. Lost in thought her eyes were glued to the ground, looking forward to a nice shower and possibly…

WHAM! She had run straight into someone and promptly dropped her stuff. Sirius Black leant down to help her pick up her books, but she uttered:

"I don't need your help"

Confronted Sirius looked like a deer caught in headlights when he realised who he had run into, or more specifically, who had run into him. The words weren't particularly harsh but very defiant. He bent down any way and began to retrieve his own belongings, sneaking glances at the girl the entire time.

Just speak to her you moron he thought to himself, desperately trying to find a subject to start a conversation with.

"Uh, nice weather" he started mental kicking himself for not being able to think of a better topic. Instead of replying she raised an eyebrow and left, while Sirius grinned dopily. He shook his head, what was the matter with him? He normally didn't care about the weather and normally he could charm he pants off most people. Why had this girl affected him so strongly? He been standing still with a stupid grin on his face for a few second before he realised he was holding one of her books. He started to call out:

"Hey, wait up…you" he stopped realising he didn't know her name. It wasn't because she was stunning or had big boobs, because she didn't, but there was definitely something different about her.

Opening the book he found written in hasty writing

Property of Dorcas Meadows

He smiled, now he didn't have to ask her what her name was.

Meanwhile Peter sat in the library hurriedly trying to finish an essay Professor Slughorn had set them on making Veritaserum. It was desperately tricky and without Remus' help Peter's essay was only four inches long and he definitely needed at least another eight inches for Slughorn to accept it.

A small, short blonde girl dropped her books onto Peters table, they landed with a crash. She looked mortified and blushed a very deep shade of red.

"I'm so sorry" she whispered hurriedly without meeting Peter's eyes. He was shocked, normally girls didn't even notice him, let alone get embarrassed around him. Another perfect day, he had scared off another girl. Scratch scratch scratch. Even the quills seemed to mock him and his four inch essay.

Meanwhile Sirius slammed his book shut irritated and getting nowhere. Gathering his books and his thoughts he strode out of the library taking the little known shortcut to the Gryffindor common room. Hearing raised voices he paused and followed them along a corridor to the left. At the end of the corridor was a classroom where a boy sat huddled in a chair surrounded by three older and definitely much larger boys. The grey eyes darkened, but before he moved to help the young man he noticed a figure in the shadows. One of the older boys who slightly resembled a troll raised his fist with a manic grin plastered on his face. The shadow whispered and the fist hit the young man's face only nothing happened. It appeared to bounce right off, as if the small boy's face was made of stone.

Incredulous and troll like boy gaped at his collegues who looked equally as equally dumbfounded as the small boy seated in the middle of the room. One of then cronies made to slam the small boy into the desk but somehow managed to trip over his own shoelaces which had miraciously tied themselves together. All the three of the older boys began to spout giant yellow pus filled boils and they scrambeled for the door with terrified expressions.

The small boy glanced around the room and then yelled "AND DON"T COME BACK!" with a huge grin on his face. He left the room with an unmistakable swagger. A quiet chuckle came from the shadows and Sirius watched as Dorcas Meadows turned quickly and walked in the opposite direction.

"HEY MEADOWS" Sirius yelled and she turned so quickly Sirius swore he heard her robes crack.

"WHAT" she yelled back vehemsouly.

"I saw what you did back there" he began.

"If there's one thing I can't stand, it's bullies" she said, none of the ice in her voice disappearing "or players" she added as an after thought glancing at Sirius with one eyebrow raised.

"You think that, I'm a player?" Sirius asked.

"You've yet to prove me otherwise" she snapped resuming her walk away from him.

"Well that's thoroughly predictable. You know, you shouldn't assume so much" Sirius muttered his grey eyes cloudy and he turned to walk away from her.

"Oi wanker, don't walk away from me!" she spat.

"And why's that? Is it only you that has that priviledge?" he said not waiting for an answer "what is it exactly that troubles you so much about me?" he asked coldly.

"What exactly?" she asked exasperatedly "how long do we have?"

Sirius couldn't take it anymore. He closed the distance between them and crushed his lips against hers and pinned her against the wall. Electricity coursed through her spine and just as she was about to grab his robes and pull him closer and turned and walked away.

Oh good lord what am I getting myself into Sirius thought on the way to the common room. This girl was already leaving an impression on him, he couldn't stand the heat so he left the kitchen, or more specifically ran from the heat. The emotion was so raw and new there was nothing to do but run and escape his thoughts.

A/N: Okay let me explain. There are many reasons as to why not so many updates recently with good reasons I assure you, the most prominent is I dislike the past couple of chapters. I put them all up at once to see what you make of them, I am expecting terrible reviews to tell you the truth. I am working on improving it. Finally I found Sirius a girl after much searching! Let me know what you think. If the last chapter is a bit choppy you'll have to forgive me because I have had no time to proof read! And now on to the thank-you's…

Madsdagirl: In response to the shortness I have made most of my chapters longer and I have also put three chapters up at once so hopefully it makes up for it! Abortion is a controversial topic no matter what country you live in and not only socially. I have recently finished reading a study and abortion's links to crime rates in terms of economics. Bizarre conclusions were drawn but it was so interesting I couldn't tear myself away! However the study only included America and Romania so it is hardly a picture of the whole world…anyway I appear to be rambling! Let me know if the latest chapters are horrible. Thank you for the review and all the lovely things you say about my work, and you're right not many people would have mentioned abortion for good reason!

Rayolis: hahaha well contrary to popular belief I am not dead, however I am sorry! I realise explanations sound like excuses, but I can however apologise. My valentines day (wow that was a long time ago!) was not everything I hoped for, but things rarely are! My expectations are far too high and unfortunately I know it! I am no imposter I just dislike the past couple of chapters, but I needed to included lots of these aspects, so bare with me. Thank you again for your words of encouragement and comments.

LBuccalo: Ah, I missed your thoughtfulness and clearly thought out comments, amazing truly. I always read your reviews very carefully (not only because they are full of praise) but because the situation can be gauged by your responses. When I wrote Alice's reaction to the abortion I was thinking about what you might think of it, seeing as it is indeed a terrible mix of emotions bearing a terrible weight which can indeed destroy people. I understand if you do not like the past chapters so much, it is merely one option of what someone may go through, partial based on my own experiences with other people. In such a complex situation it is impossible to properly portray any one persons experience but for someone that has such a personal link I hope that it has not offended you. I'm going to have to learn more languages simply so I can thank you in them, Merci biensur!

Marauders babe: You review my stories, it's the least I can do to review yours! I love your crazy vignettes, they always make me laugh. Hopefully you do not hate the past couple of chapters because I do! Thank you for everything

White Camilla: hahaha yes I have updated and a few chapters at once as my form of an apology. Thank you so much for your interest in my story and your wonderful reviews!

FireQueen618: I DID IT, I found Sirius a girl. Tell me what do you think of her? Okay? Thanks for all your help by the way, its fantastic to have someone to give me ideas when I run out, your advice helped me create Dorcas, now the real challenge is whether you think she's up to scratch? THANK YOU

Animiegirl02: thank you : )

Sirius1Fan: Yes Alice did have an abortion (although from the chapters I've just posted hopefully its clear now!) You're quite correct in stating that abortion is a controversial issue but for some reason it gave me more incentive to write about, as I have stated it doesn't necessarily depict my views, it is simply one view and a sea of complexity! I love your thoughts, and I believe (even if you thinks it babble) that you are quite correct. A writer, (much like any other type of artist) attempts to address the issues in their world which are poignant for them and to bring them to life in what ever way they see fit. Just because an issue is controversial does not mean I won't write about it, however I am determined not to be portrayed as someone with a closed mind an as such I am happy to listen to any person's point of view on the matter. Thank you for your review it gave me courage to post these new chapters which aren't so great, but hopefully aren't terrible either!

-sHiVeRiNg sMiLe-: Yes I was talking about the Spanish one, I have been trying really hard to learn Spanish, seeing as I have learnt French. I love Spanish so much more but I'm still learning. It has been my goal for quite some time to be multi-lingual if only to appreciate everything other languages have to offer. Slowly slowly! You are right, everybody does avoid writing about it for some countries have different views and may discuss it more than other countries or even social groups. However I decided to try and tackle it just to see what the reaction would be and basically to see if I could do it! I thought quite a lot about your comments on Frank and James. Reading back it does look like they change their minds quite quickly especially James (for Frank never did agree however it happened with or without his consent, he had no choice). I did not mean to write it like that and have tried to rectify for I merely meant to present Lily's anger and his reaction to her anger not the issue at hand (hopefully that makes some sense). Indeed Lily is pushy but that's how I want her, however Alice I wanted to be independent and not inflict her views on Frank. I agree, it is a tad unrealistic that Alice did not talk to Frank more before she had the abortion, also intentional. The decision was made quickly so it could be thoroughly analysed in further chapters and I wanted more or less to show what can happen to people going through this trauma, having seen this first hand. This may have shown the decision as rash, also unintentional. I suppose I wanted to keep the plot moving for it could have easily stopped there! I have found Sirius a lady friend but I'm not entirely sure what to do with her and you're right my initial thoughts were to leave him without anyone because many people don't find anyone, but I wanted some flexibility in his character even if his girl disappears somewhere down the line. Wow, sorry about the essay, your reviews really make me review (excuse the repetition) my work and think how I can improve it. Your reviews are not only well thought out but you make extremely valid points, and for that I thank you (phew).

Gilmoregirl7878: Thank you for all your reviews and I really appreciate it.

Insert awesome yet inspiring…: Well I hope it all makes sense, feel free to ask me if it doesn't! Thank you

Akt5us: Thanks!

EboniteEvans: cool name by the way! I'm glad you think my writing has improved but I fear you may be disappointed with these last chapters. Not my best I'm afraid! You're right not everyone agreed with what I had written but I'm glad you agree with her reasons. Thank you!

EowynSaule: Thank you, although I'm afraid the clichés may indeed crop up in some of the previous chapters let me know what you think!