TITLE: Family Time
AUTHOR: Mnemosyne

Disclaimer: Not mine!
SUMMARY: "He's actually got something to protect."
RATING: PG
CHARACTERS: River/Jayne, Mal, Zoe, Kaylee, Wash
SPOILERS: None!
NOTES:
Threw this together REALLY quickly, so it's not much of anything. I just had this adorable image in my head and had to put it down on paper. Enjoy!

It wasn't until he felt his bandoleer of ammunition tugging on his shoulder that Jayne noticed he was feeling a little side-heavy, like something was hanging onto him. With a frown, he glanced down from Mal's briefing. "Amy Beth?"

"Yeth, daddy?"

"Whatcha doin', sweet pea?"

"Climbin'."

She was, too. It hadn't taken long for the crew to figure out that River and Jayne's firstborn had inherited her mother's intelligence. She'd been talking in full sentences by the time she was two, and now at almost three she had a better vocabulary than most of the crew. She didn't use it much, choosing instead to follow her father's example and talk in short bursts. Besides, she didn't have much interest in chattering. Like her father, she was much more interested in physical tests of strength rather than mental agility; she had the latter in spades, after all, so why bother testing it? Her favorite form of activity was climbing. Not a day went by that she didn't have her parents tied in knots because she'd managed to shimmy monkey-style up a pile of crates in the cargo hold, or somehow perched herself on top of the cabinets in the infirmary. She was running out of new places to climb at this point, and had begun inventing them to keep herself busy.

Apparently her father had made it onto the list.

"Jayne, you gonna pay attention or do I gotta smack you with a frying pan?" Mal asked.

Jayne looked at the captain, who was staring pointedly at him. "Sorry, cap," he said, trying not to wince as Amy Beth accidentally kicked him in the kneecap. "Family business."

"Family...?" Mal frowned and peered around Kaylee so he could see Jayne fully. "Jayne, 'sthat your little girl climbin' up you like a billy goat?"

"Yep."

"Any reason why?"

"Cuth he'th there," Amy Beth supplied with a gap-toothed lisp, finally finding purchase for her toes in one of the pockets of Jayne's cargo pants and hauling herself up so she could get a better hold on her father's bandoleer.

"Good enough reason as any, I suppose," Wash said from his place in the pilot's chair.

"Huh," Kaylee said, tilting her head to watch Amy Beth's progress.

They all watched in silence for a moment as the little girl hauled herself up her father's side, grunting a little as she scrabbled with her feet until she could hook her toes over the top of his belt.

"Doin' good, sweet pea."

"Fank oo, daddy."

Scramble, scramble.

"OW!"

"You don't haf long enuff hair, daddy."

"That don't give you call to go rippin' out what I do got! AGUH-!" This last bit was choked off as she wrapped her fingers in the collar of his t-shirt and hauled herself up to perch on his shoulders. Settling in comfortably, she leaned forward and wrapped her arms around his head, covering his eyes with her pudgy hands in the process. "Amy Beth, daddy's gotta see."

"Okay." She moved her hands back and grabbed hold of his ears instead.

Jayne winced. "You gonna get on with it, Mal?" he snapped, ignoring the look of amusement on the captain's face. "'Fore my little girl rips my ears off and I can't hear you no more?"

"I won't wip your ear-th off, daddy," Amy Beth reproached. She patted the side of his head with one hand before grabbing hold of his ear again to keep her balance. "I wike your ear-th."

"Yeah, so does your Ma, so you jus' be rememberin' that, all right?"

"Yeth, daddy."

They both turned their attention back to the captain, identical down to the blue of the eyes and the tilt of the head.

Mal burst out laughing.

"Forget it!" he said, perching on the edge of the navigation computer and waving towards the bridge door. "We ain't gonna be near Black Dell for another few hours or so, and I jus' can't be serious when I got Jayne Junior there lookin' at me like Curious George." Amy Beth giggled. "Jayne why don't you see if you can put her somewhere else?"

"Like where, Mal?" Jayne asked irritably. "She's gonna end up in the air ducts, rate she's been goin'."

"Already been there," Amy Beth said, sounding bored as she rested her cheek on her father's hair. "Lot-th of dutht."

Jayne's head dropped forward and he pinched the bridge of his nose. "You're gonna gimme gray hair, sweet pea," he said wearily.

"Thorry, daddy." She tugged apologetically on his ears.

"Yeah, yeah. Where's your ma?"

"Behind you." The whole crew nearly jumped out of their skin at the soft voice. River poked her head around Jayne's arm and smiled up into her husband's face. "You are very broad," she told him. "She disappears in your shadow."

"You damn near gave me a heart attack, baby girl!" Jayne griped as River twirled around to face him with a balletic pirouette. "Ain't I told you not to sneak up on me?"

"It's fun," she said, and that was that. Point dismissed.

"Maybe River can take Amy Beth?" Zoe suggested from her spot behind Wash, with a tone of voice that said this wasn't so much a suggestion as a strong hint. "Captain was just briefing us on Black Dell."

"Yeah, take her down to bug her snit of an uncle, baby girl," Jayne said.

"Simon is busy preparing the Infirmary to stitch you up when you get shot," she said in her usual matter-of-fact style.

"You think I'm gonna get shot?" Jayne asked. He'd long since learned to pay attention to River's premonitions.

River shook her head. "Not you," she said, tickling her daughter's feet and grinning at Amy Beth's delighted laughter. "Him," she clarified, jerking her head back towards Mal.

"ME?" Mal asked. "Why do I gotta get shot?"

River looked over her shoulder at him. "Don't you always?"

"She does have a point, sir," Zoe said before Mal could protest.

"Yep, she does," Kaylee agreed.

"Never a truer word was said," Wash added.

Mal opened his mouth to retort, then closed it again. "Fine," he snapped. "I get shot a lot. You don't gotta rub it in." He glared at River. "Not fatal, I assume?"

She shook her head and turned back to her family. "Leg. Quick fix."

"Well, good for that at least. Now you wanna take your little girl and skedaddle so I can get back to plannin' how I'm gonna get shot?"

"Nope."

"Whatcha mean, nope."

"Nope, not going to take Amy Beth."

"Why not?"

River giggled. "Want to take them BOTH." With a nimble little leap, she wrapped her legs around Jayne's waist and her arms around his back, beneath his criss-crossed bandoleers. Jayne grunted with surprise, his arms immediately dropping to cradle her bottom and hold her up.

"Hello," she said with a smile, kissing his nose.

"Gorrammit, I'm crawlin' with women," Jayne growled, but he didn't put any force behind the words.

"River, I can't let you take my mercenary," Mal said. "We kinda need him, so he can shoot the bastard who shoots me."

River let her head hang back so she could stare at Mal upside down. "Big guns, shiny knives. Bang bang, things dead. More?"

Mal blinked. "Well... all right, so maybe that's the total of his job this time out. But I was gonna make it sound more interesting than that," he added, with a dash of wounded pride.

River rolled her eyes and sat up again, wiggling against Jayne. "Family day," she said with a sharp nod. "Mommy, daddy and baby make three."

"Permission to do like the woman says, Cap?" Jayne asked, grinning down into his wife's face.

Mal grunted grudgingly. "Yeah, yeah, fine," he said, with a wave of his hand. "Just make sure you're ready when we get off this ship. I've gotta get myself shot and all."

"Yessir," Jayne said, only half paying attention as he turned around and walked out the door, ducking down to make sure Amy Beth didn't whack her head on the door frame. The rest of the crew could hear the family talking and laughing together as they headed down the corridor towards the common room.

"Seriously this time, who wants to go check Hell to see if it's frozen over?" Wash asked, holding up his hand as if requesting volunteers. "Because who here ever thought they'd see Jayne enjoying domestic bliss?"

"I did!" Kaylee piped up. "Always knew he was a soft bag of marshmallow under all that prickly stuff."

"Yeah, well, I for one find it nauseatin' as hell," Mal grumbled. "My mercenary's turned into a gorram loving husband. No offense, Wash."

"None taken."

"How's he s'posed to be effective when he's worryin' 'bout his wife and cute-as-a-button little girl, huh?"

Silence followed the question.

"Well, sir," Zoe said eventually. "I suppose you could say it answers itself."

"Whaddaya mean, Zo'?" Kaylee asked.

"He's still going to be a good fighter and a warrior," the second-in-command answered. "He's just fighting for more than money now. He's actually got something to protect." She smiled and ruffled Wash's hair.

"I feel loved," Wash said, beaming over his shoulder at his wife.

"You are," she told him, and tapped his nose.

"Aww, ain't that just sweet?" Kaylee cooed.

"Oh, adorable," Mal said irritably. "You know, with all the googly eyes my crew keeps making at each other, I'm surprised anyone can see straight. Fat lot of good the bunch of you are as lookouts." He paused, thought, then added, "No wonder I keep gettin' shot."

THE END