Fanfic by Blueroseulan

AN: Hey guys, this is a new one. It's called Separate me From You. I was watching the OVA about two days ago when I noticed that Kenshin left his family a couple of times to atone for his sins. I felt so bad ya know TT… I kinda got disappointed that he never really settled even in the latter part of his married life. And I thought, Hey, if I'm thinking this way, how did Kaoru probably feel herself watching her husband come and go, leaving her and their children behind?

Thus this fic. I tried to depict the conflicting emotions KnK felt, especially Kaoru. It's a bit angsty, but don't worry, romance will come around :wink wink:

Oh well, stop this blah and let you read on.

I hope I get reviews with this one. I really tried my best here ,

RK doesn't belong to me

Please review.

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Kaoru waited excitedly at the gate of the dojo for the silhouette of her husband. She had received word from him in Otaku that he would be coming home in time for Kenji's fourth birthday. She had been excited since then. Dusting the house, keeping the dojo in pristine order, teaching her children more manners, driving herself to practice harder, studying how to cook, and so on and so forth, just to show him how much she missed him and how much she was willing to show him that his absence didn't make him a lesser father or a bad husband. For ever since he had accepted Saitou's offer for a job in the head police department, he had been mostly out of town, traveling in the far flung provinces of Japan to help solve a crime or to track an insane maniac running loose. Of course she must admit that the money he received was well needed. Yes, for it helped provide food and shelter for their family. But she couldn't help but ponder over the thought that, they already had enough. No need for him to drive himself harder to work, they had enough. Enough food for their stomach to last for a long time, enough clothing, enough money. Enough, enough, enough. She somehow felt that it would have been unfair for his part to never watch his children grow. He had missed many occasions in their lives. Kenji's birthday, Kiriko's birthday, hers, Yahiko's genpuku, so many things… But still she kept quiet; not wanting to add to the silent burden she knew her husband had been carrying for the longest time.

Of course she wasn't complaining. Hell no! She knew she had no right to complain. All she had to do was the domestic chores a normal housewife was supposed to be doing. But somehow, as she recalled their past lives, the enemies they fought, the action-packed life they led, were one was always clinging at the brink of death, she sensed from the very beginning that they would never live a normal existence. No, Kenshin wouldn't be the usual father, nor was she expected to become the normal wife, or Kenji or Yahiko… Yes, she didn't complain but in a sense, she felt… unhappy…on how her life with him turned out to be. She knew he would always be involved with the police station... it was a way of his atonement; he had once told her that night he came home. But she never expected him to be away all the time. Away from everyone he loved, away from his family, and though Kaoru wouldn't admit to him, she got hurt for he seemed to prioritize so many things before his family. In may seem selfish, but yes, sometimes she would wish that she should have been the one who was kidnapped in Okinawa or the one suffering from hunger and famine in Shimonoseki. She thought so, for if she was the one, then she would have been given the chance to be with him, rather than existing for him.

She sighed as her leg cramped from standing all too long in the dojo gate. Walking back to the house, she caught a glimpse of her four-year-old son and her three-year-old daughter. It made her think, on how she was able to raise her children on her own. Yes, Kenshin had been a part of it, but it was mostly on her part. She didn't feel bitterness or resentment towards the man, but she felt sadness and a deep longing for the times he should have been beside her during the highlights of their young life. Kenji's first step, Kiriko's first babble, their son's first written word, Kiriko's first pet… These were little things… Little things that meant the most for her. She didn't blame him, for of course it was his duty to the police station to be at their beck and call. But still, Himura Kaoru's patience was wearing thin.

And wear it did more, when she received, instead of her husband, Chief Uramura at her dojo that afternoon. He said, in a regretful tone, that her husband wouldn't be coming home for he was to stay for a month still in Otaku. He explained many details, his fights, the case, the man they were tracking, but Kaoru understood none of it. All she knew was that Kenshin would miss yet again another of his son's birthday. She bid the man goodbye with a strained smile in her face. Something she thought was very hard to do. Glancing sadly at Kenji, she thought of another valid reason why his father would have to miss yet his birthday again. The least she wanted to happen was to have a growing grudge against him but it can be very tough sometimes.

She found herself inside Kenji's room that night, explaining in a gentle voice why otou-san would have to miss his coming birthday. But the child was growing older, developing a mindset of his own-- Kaoru could tell because her son had started to ask for his father.

"Oka-san, why isn't Otou-san coming home?"

"He's on a trip Kenji-kun."

"When is he coming back?"

"Next month. In time of your sister's birthday."

"Okaa-san,"

"Hmm?"

"Please go to bed with Kenji-chan."

Her son was so adorable and Kaoru didn't have the heart to say no. It also sounded far appealing than sleeping in their room alone. So, lying next to him and Kiriko, she gathered both of them near her and was starting to fall asleep, when Kenji suddenly piked up again. A string of question coming out of his innocent little mouth.

"Kaa-san, does otou-san like to miss Kenji-Chan's birthday?"

"No, Kenji kun. Never. It's just that Otou-san is really hard at work."

"Uh… okay."

"Go to sleep Kenji before you wake your sister."

The little boy of three nodded, his sapphire eyes mirroring exactly her own.

"Okaa-san..."

"Yes Kenji?" she answered tiredly. Seemingly becoming irritated by her own child's questions.

"When otou-san comes home, will otou-san and okaa-san sleep together?"

She was surprised nevertheless. "Whatever do you mean Kenji-kun?"

"You know, you and tou-san sleep then you have babies and stuff?"

Kaoru grew as red as a blushing tomato, what in the world?

"Kenji-chan," she started gently. "Who told you those things?" she asked, though she knew very well who had poisoned her child's mind.

"Sanosuke-ojjiisan and Yahiko-jiisan." The child grinned.

She sighed in frustration. Those two idiots! Teaching my little Kenji-chan how to become perverted bakas like them…

"Now, now, now, Kenji-chan," she said, trying not to show the irritation and weariness in her voice, "Okaa-san doesn't like you hearing those things. You understand? Those things are only for adults to talk about." Yeah… for old perverted fools… she added.

"But Kaa-san… is it true that Otou san ki—"

"Kenji, Stop talking about those things and go to sleep." She warned.

Her heart spasmed painfully when she saw the disappointment in her son's eyes. He was, after all, an innocent child. Not yet familiarized by those… things.

It was after a while when she felt a pair of chubby hands grasp her from behind, followed by the ticklish fall of Kenji's hair by her nape.

"Sorry Kaa-san." He said, kissing her and pouting adorably.

She couldn't help but smile with her child's antics. So much like his father…whenever we fight, he's always the first one to apologize. And in the same way too!"

"Oh Kenji… Kaa-san's sorry too. I didn't mean to yell at you."

The child nodded. "Aishiterru Kaa-san."

"Aishiterru Kenji."

"And Kaa-san? Oyasumi nasai."

"Hai Kenji-kun, oyasumi nasai."

They celebrated Kenji's birthday with everyone… that is except Kenshin. Yahiko was there, Dr. Genzai with Ayame and Suzume were there and even Megumi and Sanosuke came, though both denying that they went together. The Akabeko provided the food. It was so happy, the reunion of almost everyone in the Kenshin gumi… almost since the main man was missing. Kaoru would have been happier if her husband came. But there was no sense in dwelling with what must have been. All she could do was care for their children and wait for him.

In a sense, she was worried for her children's opinion when it came to their father. They barely knew him, rarely saw him and Kaoru was growing more concerned about their reaction when they saw him. Kenji would always say, almost as if part of his routine and his day that he loved his Okaa-san more than anything in the world. In time, Kiriko copied her brother's words, both of them cheerfully saying to her, when she kissed them goodnight that they loved their Okaa-san more than anyone or anything else in the world. Of course she gave them a smile and kissed both of them, but inwardly; she was wondering if they ever thought of their father and would love him if he came back. Children were easy to please, she knew that, and even though they would not react so violently when their father came as she kept on expecting, she knew that there will come a time when, gone are the innocence in their mind and replaced by anger and unhappiness, that they will question her about his absence in their lives.

This worried Kaoru to the point of breaking down almost every night. How could I tell them how much their father loves them, when I myself am starting to question his presence in my life? With the intelligence of Kenji and Kiriko, young as they are, she knew they were bound to ask her more questions about their father that she herself could not yet answer.

TBC…

Some notes: Genpuku- this is some sort of a celebration—or a gift—I'm not sure which one, but I know it is celebrated/given when a boy comes across the age of fifteen.

Children, young as they are, have the tendency to babble (as we all know). Thus Kenji and Kiriko's "okaa-san" (mother) and "otou-san" (father) are merely reduced to "kaa-san" and "tou-san".

Hmmm… a bit angsty ne? Well, I had to establish Kaoru's emotions and perspectives when it boiled down to Kenshin leaving his children. What do you think guys? I hope you all leave reviews and let me know what you think.

Here's a preview to the next chapter:

"I don't know Kenshin… I don't know what is there left to do… Maybe we could bridge this rift that has formed between us… this gap… or…maybe we just have to go on our separate ways…" she whispered.

In a flash, he was holding her, embracing her so tight Kaoru couldn't even move or breathe, she could never find the strength to fight back or put a distance between them. No, not when she had sensed him shaking underneath her touch, no, not after she had felt his tears run at the base of her neck, no not when she had sensed the desperation and urgency in voice.

"Kaoru… onegai… onegai! Don't leave me… Onegai Kaoru! Don't leave me… Don't kill me…"

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