A TWIST OF FATE
DISCLAIMER: Don't own NCIS or anyone in this story. This is only for my own twisted enjoyment, as I am still angry over Twilight. I have an excuse: Australia is behind in episodes, so I'm still in the grief period. I'll move on when I'm ready!
RATING: K, or PG. Some language and religious stuff. If you're dead set religious, or don't have a sense of humour, you probably shouldn't be reading this.
A/N: Hi, my name's CSIMel, and I'm a Bold and The Beautiful-a-holic. Due to my recent…illness, I've decided to write a fic in true soap opera style…where Kate comes back to life. This is not a full on Ziva bashing, but it kind of puts her in her place. I haven't seen season 3 yet, so I don't know what the character is like. But I do know that I don't want her dating Tony! TATE 4EVER! Anyway, this is supernatural/romance, so let the madness begin.
CHAPTER 1 – PURGATORY
Kate's time in purgatory had been crap. Ever since she got shot in the head, her life had gone seriously downhill. Since she was a little girl, she had been taught that if you were good, you'd go to heaven and if you were bad, you'd go to hell. Well that was a load of bullshit. After walking down a long tunnel, (at least the church got one thing right) she found herself in a room and resembled an airport waiting lounge. In fact, at opposite ends there was a gate marked 'Heaven' and a gate marked 'Hell'. Under normal circumstances, she would've found this amusing, but since she was DEAD, well, she wasn't in the mood for looking at the funny side of things.
Kate sat in her crappy purgatory apartment. Yes, they had accommodation in purgatory, as no one knew how long they'd be there. The guy down the road had been in purgatory for 56 years. The whole situation was like the movie 'The Terminal', and she was Tom Hanks, stuck in the airport. Stupid Tony, with his stupid movies. Kate was angry, but the purgatory psychologist, Dr Taylor Forrester (from soap opera The Bold and the Beautiful), had told her it was simple transferral. That she was blaming everyone close to her for her death. Who she really should be blaming is the stupid writers and producers for writing her out of the script. And her idiotic alter ego, Sasha Alexander, for wanting out of the show. What the hell? It was a successful show; she was earning thousands per an episode.
Fortunately for Kate, she'd made some friends in purgatory, which made her time there less crappy. Tim Speedle, from another crime show, CSI Miami and her shrink, Taylor, had become a mentor to her, as this was her third time in purgatory. Life could be worse. Wait on a minute! She was dead, life couldn't get any worse. Kate sank in her bed. I wish they had alcohol in purgatory.
She picked up a letter from the ground. She'd read it a thousand times since she arrived, and it still made no sense to her.
Attention: Special Agent Caitlin ToddFrom: Limbo Landon, President of Purgatory.
Subject: Welcome to Purgatory!
Dear Kate,
Welcome to purgatory! We sincerely hope you enjoy your stay here, as the powers that be make a choice that could affect you for the rest of eternity. By now, you must be wondering what's going on. Don't worry, that happens to absolutely everyone! This is just a procedure so the powers that be can place you on your appropriate path. During your stay here, they will observe the way you live your life…think of it as a reality T.V show, and you're the star! Unfortunately the prize is either eternal damnation or the warm and fuzzy heaven. Oh well, at least there's a runner up prize if you don't get the latter! (Yes, we know that's not funny, and the writer had been sent to hell.) You will be notified when the decision has been decided. Try to enjoy yourself in the meantime. As we like to say, life's a party and if you try hard enough, death can be equally as fun!
Yours sincerely,
Limbo Landon, President of Purgatory.
Kate sighed a tossed the letter to the side. She put on her coat and left her apartment. Time to meet up with Speed and Taylor. She hated the internal conflict she was facing, but little did she know that there were bigger problems on the other side of the gates.
---------------------------------
HEAVEN
God was busy reading T.V Soap and tossed the magazine on the floor disgusted.
"Limbo!" he bellowed.
Out of nowhere, Limbo Landon, President of Purgatory appeared. He dusted of his purple cape and lent on his sceptre.
"God, great to see you again! How's it going up here? How's the family? Purgatory's still a hole, thanks for asking!" Limbo took a seat on a white couch.
"Oh, stop your whining!" God snapped "The last architects I gave you, you used them to build a giant statue of you out of marshmallow."
Limbo bowed his head.
"Sorry God,"
"Shut up!" God slammed his fist on the table "Now I called you here for an important matter that has come to my attention." He pointed to the T.V Soap in the corner and it burst into flames. "What's this I hear of Dr Taylor Forrester being dead, again!"
"I'm sorry, God, but we keep telling the writers that we can't let her die, but they just keep killing her!" Limbo said, shrugging his shoulders meekly. "We'll arrange the paper work to get her sent back to earth."
"Ta, Limbo, much appreciated. Now I think we need to…"
God was interrupted by a grungy teen, with long black hair, with brown roots. He wore baggy pants and docs. He was wearing a backwards baseball cap and he his T-shirt read 'WWJD' (what would Jesus do) and on the back 'whatever he wants!' JC was in the house.
"Yo, what's happening Papa G?" Jesus said, knocking fists with God. He threw himself on the couch.
"I better get back to purgatory," Limbo said, excusing himself.
"Landon, my man, stay," Jesus said, "this involves you too."
"What can I do for you, my child?" God asked.
"I need someone brought back to life," Jesus said, gesturing wildly.
"If it's Taylor from The Bold and the Beautiful, then that's been sorted." God reassured.
"No, Daddy-o, it's my favourite character from my favourite show – Kate from NCIS. This killed her off, and now there's no more Tate and they replaced her with this chick called Ziva, who apparently worked for the evil Ari. She's moved into Kate's desk and is now moving onto her man!" Jesus took a deep breath. "Me and my peeps have had enough!"
"What the purgatory is NCIS?" Limbo asked, confused.
"Naval Criminal Investigation Service, it's this show Jesus is obsessed with," God answered patiently.
"And what's a Tate?" Limbo asked again, still confused.
"Don't you know anything, Lardo?" Jesus snapped, "Tate is Tony and Kate, two of the character's who are destined to be together! And now Kate's dead, and that can't happen!"
"Son, what's God questioned, "It's not one of those cults are they? I told you to stay away from those, even if they do worship you!"
"It's this awesome site, where aspiring writers post their stories based on their favourite shows," Jesus explained slowly, as if talking to a 5 year old "and their favourite characters getting into romantic situations, dangerous situations and hilarious situations. Anything can happen!"
"They sound like losers," Limbo snickered.
"Well you're not the queen of popularity either, Lardo!" Jesus shouted, "These are the coolest people in the universe! If you ever saw a writer, I reckon you'd collapse with shock!"
"Jesus, we can't bring this 'Kate' back to life just because you don't agree with her being killed off." God explained calmly.
"There's a lot of people our there who aren't happy about it!" Jesus yelled.
"Yeah," sneered Limbo, "like who?"
--------------------------------
HELL
Satanwas busy reading through T.V Soap.
"Limbo!"
-------------------------------
HEAVEN
"I have to dash," Limbo said apologetically, "I have other business to attend to." He gestured to the ground.
"TellSatan I say hello," God said "and tell him I hope he spends eternity in hell, wait a minute! He already is!"
"Dad, that was so lame!" Jesus said, sighing.
-------------------------------
HELL
"You rang?" Limbo said, as he appeared before the devil.
"What's this about Taylor being dead?"Satan demanded.
"Don't worry," Limbo sighed, "that's been taken care of."
"Good,"Satan answered "now I have to talk to you about something important."
"Shoot," Limbo replied, hoping it might be a promotion.
"We are in turmoil,"Satan stated "did you notice anything different about hell when you entered?"
"Um…" Limbo thought hard "it was a bit cooler."
"Exactly!" Satan cried "My dumb-ass minions have been bawling their eyes out for a couple of weeks now, ever since their favourite character in some idiotic crime show died!"
"Are we talking about Kate from NCIS?" Limbo asked.
"Damn straight we are!" Satan yelled "there stupid crying has been putting the flames out, making hell more tolerable. I was reading through my feedback, and people have been checking the box that says 'bad, but not as bad reality T.V' instead of 'I wish I were in purgatory'. Do you know what that means?"
"Purgatory is a hole?" Limbo offered.
"NO! It means that the balance of power is shifting! If people learn that hell isn't really that bad, then we won't have people trying to be good. The world will be over-run with criminals! More people getting killed, leading to over-population in hell and in purgatory!" Satan cried impatiently.
"God no!" Limbo cried.
"And that goody-goody will be sitting on his cloud, laughing his ass off!" Satan shouted.
"Let me see what I can do." Limbo replied, disappearing.
-------------------------------------
PURGATORY
"Show us!" Speed said, grabbing the letter off Taylor.
Due to unforseen circumstances beyond our control, we are sending you back to earth. We apologize for any inconvenience.
"That's great, Taylor," Kate congratulated her "now you can see your family again!"
"I know!" Taylor hugged the letter to her chest "No matter how many times I get this letter, it's still unbelievable. Someone up there must really be looking out for me."
Suddenly a letter appeared from nowhere.
"It's for you, Kate," Speed said, tossing her the letter.
She skimmed over the letter.
We request your presence at an important meeting, which is to take place in five minutes. Go to the door marked staff and present your letter. You must attend this meeting.
"Do you know what this is about?" Kate asked Taylor.
"No idea," Taylor replied.
"Do you think I should go?" Kate asked her friends.
"Why not?" Speed stated, "You're dead, what have you got to lose?"
A/N: Well, what do you think? Special thanks to Kapow, who continued to bug me to write this. Oh, wait, I'll give you some Kapow like questions-
What is the meeting about?
Is Limbo a man or a woman? Or both?
How many more times will Taylor die?
What does Kate have to lose?
Are these questions really lame?
Are you going to review?
If the answer is Yes to the last one, then click-click bottom right.