INNOCENT? I THINK NOT.
WARNING: Foul language (not much, only a few words); Indirect Yaoi/Shoune-Ai (SasuNaru, KakaIru, ItaGaa) And there might be some Out Of Character-ness.
DEDICATION: To some very good friends -- if you're even reading it. I hope you know who you are.
SUMMARY: A spell gone wrong sends three skilled girls into the Naruto world -- a place where anything can happen. Indirect SasuNaru, KakaIru, ItaGaa.
A/N: Hello! It's certainly been a long time, ne? This is probably better under complete (almost) and utter (not quite) randomness. Or not. This actually has a semi-plot. Sorry! I didn't mean to! Yeah... okay. The title... well, I just finished it last night, and I couldn't think of a title, so I just... yeah. You get it.
Laughter filled the air as Kathy pushed open the door, smiling widely in celebration, Kakairu following closely, holding the package of money from the exchange that had taken place barely an hour ago.
Shedding her long coat, Kathy fell back onto the couch, stretching out quite provocatively as Kakairu picked up after her, splitting the money up into two separate bags and hanging them in front of the door. "I think it's timed to have some fun," Kathy pronounced, looking directly at her friend.
Kakairu turned to stare at her, light blue eyes wide in shock – part of it was fear. "You wanna do that?" she asked skeptically. "Are you out of your mind?"
"Oh, come on Kairu!" Kathy whined, kicking her feet childishly. "We haven't done it in so long! I'm getting antsy!" She paused for emphasis, giving The Look, and lowered her voice. "You know you want to."
Kakairu growled, narrowing her eyes as she went for the closet and got out the proper materials. She looked at each item, considered the events that had happened last time, and pushed it all towards Kathy. "You know what happened last time," she said sternly. "If anything like that happens again, I swear –"
Her threat fell away to deaf ears, waved away by a flick of the hand. "Yeah, yeah. But look at it this way – at least you don't have a boyfriend this time." Her grin widened mischievously, as she took out the candles and set them upon the alter. She was acting all so nonchalant about it all; it ground on Kakairu's nerves.
"And I probably never will again – seeing as how you hexed him! And then – no big, was it? – he tried to kill me!"
Kathy paused, the match in her hands, smiling as she dwelled within her memories. "Ah, those were good times, weren't they?"
"No! They weren't! I almost died! And then he would've gone after you! You call those 'good times'?"
Kathy stopped again, tilting her head as she thought about it. "Yeah," she answered simply.
Kakairu nodded. "Okay," she smiled. "Just so we're clear on that."
The alter was ready and they knelt around it, holding hands and bowing their heads. Just before they began their chant, Kakairu looked up. "Hey, what are we doing this time?"
Kathy searched her mind. "We're asking for Ash to come back."
"Right," Kairu said solemnly. "Right."
They began the chant, the contents of the bowl swirling with smoke and the silent music of their magic. Outside, a storm was raging, rain pouring in buckets, lightning and thunder pounding the earth. The air shook violently, and Kakairu swore she could feel something wrong with it all. It wasn't right.
Kathy stopped her rhyming mantra and it seemed everything paused around them – even the storm outside. "Well," she began, "that was awkward." Yawning, she stood, heading in the general direction of her room. "Goodnight," she called. "I'm going to sleep." With a second thought before she closed the door, she tossed out, "Oh, and clean up for me, would ya? Night!"
Kakairu sighed, shaking her head. Her eyelids were already drooping – the spell had taken a lot out of her, whether she wanted to admit it or not; it had taken a lot out of both of them. She stood, trying to find her balance and fell down on the couch giving into the sleep-filled bliss. The mess could wait for the morning.
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What felt like thirty minutes into her sleep, Kakairu was awakened by a shrill scream – she swore it sounded exactly like Kathy. Ignoring it, she turned over, only to find herself falling onto the floor. Sitting up, she angrily cursed the couch, hitting it and growling. Only it wasn't a couch – it was a tree. A very, very big tree. "Holy… shit."
She looked over to Kathy, who was hyperventilating, her blue eyes wide, red hair mussed. "What… the fuck is going on!"
Kakiaru just looked at her accusingly with narrowed eyes, a dangerous air surrounding her. "I told you, damn it! I told you it would happen again – only this time —! Who knows where we are!"
"Girls, I don't know about you, but I see some particularly tasty eye candy heading this way."
Both of them turned in circles, finally deciding to look up, only to see Ashley standing above them, smiling quite wickedly, hand on her hip. They hollered her name in joy, telling her to come join them. It was a joyous reunion – that is, until it was interrupted by a deep voice echoing through the surrounding trees.
"Sorry to break it up ladies, but you seem to be trespassing. May I ask what village you're from?"
The only thing he received was silence and strange looks. Stepping from the trees, he frowned – he could find no sign of a hitai-ate anywhere on them.
"Well, if you won't answer, I guess we'll just have to take you in for questioning."
The tallest girl moved forward – long blond hair, hazel eyes, nice-sized chest – and spoke up. "Only if there's handcuffs involved." She waggled her eyebrows for extra emphasis.
Kakashi held up a finger and opened his mouth – nothing came out. He scratched the back of his head and stared at her quizzically with his one visible eye. "That certainly was unexpected," he finally said, and then preceded to smile widely – though it was hard to see as his mouth was covered by a mask.
Kakairu shook her head in embarrassment and covered her face with her hands – had she no shame? Kathy just laughed – and was joined by another mysterious voice hidden in the trees. Ashley was still trying to amble her way toward the silver-haired jounin but Kakairu had her by the ear, dragging her back to the tree. "I knew we should've had you fixed," she muttered.
Ash huffed and crossed her arms. "You're just mad because you're not getting any."
"It's kinda hard when I'm always hexing her boyfriends," Kathy interrupted, coming to the rescue and pausing in her hysterics.
Ashley glanced back and forth between them, a questioning gaze pierced upon both. "What's wrong with froggy style?" she finally asked.
At that, it seemed the whole forest had broken into laughter, and two bodies appeared beside Kakashi – a blonde, doubled over with side splitting laughter, and a dark sullen boy, glaring at his counterpart.
"Dobe."
The blonde stopped – quite suddenly, in fact – and curled a fist at Sasuke. "Don't call me 'dobe', bastard!"
Kakairu held up a hand. "Uh…. You're village called – they're missing their idiot."
Naruto again went to barrel Sasuke, but paused when he realized he hadn't said it. "Hey! Why are you picking on me!"
Kakairu shrugged her shoulders. "Just felt like it. Besides, I like to pick on the guys Kath likes – or rather, drools over."
"I am not drooling!"
"At least you admit you like him," Ash interjected.
"Why are you ganging up on me!"
Ash and Kairu both gave her The Look. Kathy glowered. "A plague to both your houses!"
"You do realize that we live with you, don't you?"
"Gah! I hate you!"
Naruto leaned over to Kakashi. "Are you sure kunai are going to be enough?"
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It was completely silent, completely still – the air didn't even seem to move as they waited for the guard to pass. It was a simple test – one in which they seemed to have aced. Kakairu should've known it was going to be easy – it always was in this world, despite the fact that they weren't ninja. The three girls had finesse, perfect balance – when they weren't intoxicated – and special cat-like qualities for which only the elite were known. They'd even snuck up on Kakashi several times – completely by accident, of course…
And they were good at what they did – however wrong it might have been in certain circumstances. But being a thief sure did have its quirks – unfortunately, sleeping on the job wasn't one of them, which was perhaps why the three girls were so tired after "work".
As soon as they stepped through the door, however, their fatigue was quickly dissolved, so they turned toward the local bar instead. After a few rounds with Ashley and Kathy, Kakairu was ready to call it quits – unfortunately for her she wasn't exactly tired, so she used her usual excuse for leaving her comrades to get face-faulting drunk…
"I'm going for a walk – see you later."
And she walked out, letting them pay for their massive bill – as she knew it was going to be – by themselves. On her way out, she bumped into Kakashi and the rest of team seven – this time it really was an accident – and made sure she warned them before completely leaving them to their doom. Of course, she wasn't completely out of range by the time she heard a shriek call for the sensei – Oh, dear…
She made her way to the park, absent mindedly walking down a moonlit path between the tall trees, completely unaware – or was she? – she was being followed. And by the time that she was lulling and humming herself into her own little world, he was behind her, grasping her hair in his hand and pulling her head back to lie on his shoulder. She was about to turn, but he had his other hand firmly at her side, and it was slowly making its way across her stomach – she whimpered and wriggled as he hit a particularly sensitive spot.
"I was wondering when I was going to see you again," Kakairu mumbled, elbowing her captor lightly in the side. He opened his mouth, teasing her ear in a warning. "Stop," she whined. "I know, I know… I haven't officially seen you, but you get the point – okay, I get the point."
She sighed deeply. "Am I supposed to close my eyes now?"
Her answer came as he began to turn her more steadily towards himself, and she did as he bid, sliding her eyes closed before she could see his face. He guided her hands toward his face, and she felt him there – the sturdy bridge of his nose, the sensual curve of his lips, finely arched eyebrows, narrow eyes framed by long lashes, and a strong, squared jaw lined lightly with a fine stubble.
"At least I know it's you," she grumbled, sticking out her tongue and crossing her arms. "By the way," she said, thinking. "When was the last time you shaved? Because you're feeling a little prickly."
He merely grunted as they began walking again – a shadow and a wraith, neither making a noise. He turned to her as she continued.
"You know, I think Sasuke's kinda jealous about all the attention Naruto's receiving – if I didn't know any better, I'd swear he kind of fancies the kid." She laughed. "And poor Kakashi… I think he may have the hots for that teacher dude… But if Ash has her way tonight, I don't think they'll be spending the night grading papers, and I don't think they'll be sleeping…" She turned to him. "I don't think I'm going home tonight."
"Fine by me…" he whispered lowly, opening her eyes to see his Sharingan. She was shocked – certainly – but it all faded away with the lot of her conscious thoughts…
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It seemed to be another one of those days Kakairu awoke to screaming… It was also one of those days that the one screaming was Kathy… Go figure. She stood slowly, not quite remembering where she was… Where was she?
She turned in circles, looking around, eyebrow arched in confusion. Wasn't she just…? Kakairu shook her head, relieving it of the stress – until Ashley began screaming too.
She walked to their doors, hammered, and yelled. Finally they shut up. But it was only long enough to come out of their rooms and curse about their location. Oh, why couldn't they just be silent – at least for the next three years, maybe millennia.
"Guys," she started slowly, holding out her hands for emphasis and pronouncing each word, "Look around. We are at home. Figure that one out." She dumped herself onto the couch then, groaning about her massive migraine – side effects, she supposed, from last night's binge. "What exactly happened last night?"
Ash smiled thoughtfully, deviously. "I don't know about your hot calls, but I seduced Kakashi." She grinned, leaving at that. Oh, how thankful… "Unfortunately, Iruka-sensei was there to pull his ear – and eyes – away from me. Too bad, really."
Kathy tapped her chin. "I treated Naruto for ramen at Ichiraku and – I didn't know they had ramen drinking games… interesting…. Anyway, Sasuke stalked us, babysat, whatever you wanna call it, and I played psychotherapist for them – they are so totally in denial."
They turned to Kakairu – it was obviously her turn. She sat their, thinking about it. "Well," she began cautiously, "I remember going for a walk, playing blind with Itachi-san, and then… Well, he put me to sleep."
Ash and Kath stared blankly at her. "Blind?"
Kairu nodded. "He said I couldn't look at him, so I never did… Until last night, of course, but only because he made me open my eyes."
They blinked at her. "How often do you see him?"
"Frequently, I guess," she replied, only to have Ashley by her side, begging for details. "I honestly don't think anything happened. Besides, he probably just wanted a friend that wasn't a fish-faced cannibal." Ash and Kathy gave her The Look. "It's true! Plus, he's totally gay. I caught him mumbling under his breath about some insomniac – a demon-dwelling redhead. I though it was kinda sweet. Even the two parts masochist thing…"
At this, they both glanced at her strangely. She shrugged. "I hear they're both into pain. What else is supposed to go with kinky, gay sex?" she asked innocently.
Hah! Innocent? Yeah right…
A/N: Well, that's it. Not the greatest, in my opinion. Any thoughts on it?
I just read a wonderful story. "Secret Sin" by LWL Hagane no kawaii chibi Ed.
Check it out!