A/N: Thanks for the reviews. Sorry it took me so long to update! I just caught up with the Christmas holidays and all, so yeah, here's a new chapter and review!
Chapter Five
James grunted softly as he whipped the remainder of his son's vomit off the front of his white tee shirt. "Gross," he muttered under his breath, tossing the paper towel in the waste basket. "Perfect time to misplace your wand, Potter," he said to himself as he walked back into the living room, grinning as he saw the sleeping form of Harry.
He still couldn't believe it. Initially, it had been a monstrous shock from him, but, the more he thought about it, the more he liked the idea. Harry shifted in his pumpkin seat and James feared that the infant was going to wake up and scream his lungs out, though it never happened.
James sighed heavily, peeling his dirty tee shirt over his head as he walked down the hall toward his bedroom. I have no idea where he got his lung capacity from, James thought as he took a clean tee shirt out of his dresser and pulled it over his head, brushing off all the lint. He pushed his glasses up the bridge of his nose as he tried to make his hair lie flat, but with no success. Wait, he thought, a wicked grin spreading across his lips, Lily was a screamer.
James chuckled as he discarded his flannel pajama pants and tugged on some blue jeans. He quickly glanced in the mirror before padding out of his room and down the hallway. James grunted as he plopped down on the couch parallel to Harry's pumpkin seat.
"Man, what am I going to tell Mum," He whispered, taking off his glasses and rubbing his hands over his face. "She's going to go mental, I tell you." James could just picture his mother with her hands around his neck, trying in vain to 'shake some sense' into her son. He cringed and shook his head. "But that's all right. The second she sees you, all will be forgotten." James cracked a grin as he saw the corners of Harry's mouth twitch in his sleep.
"Remind me; why did we leave?" Dorcas asked, glancing at the two men that flanked either of her sides.
"Because," Sirius said as he brought the bottle of butterbeer to his lips. "We're giving James and little Harry some bonding time."
"Aha," was all Dorcas said as she, too, took a drink of her butterbeer.
"And we don't want to be there when he begs for his mother's help." Remus added.
"Why is that such a bad thing?" questioned Dorcas uneasily.
"Because James won't ask for help unless he is in dire need of it." Sirius replied.
Dorcas nodded softly, some of her dark locks falling in her eyes. Sirius grinned and pushed them behind her ear, stealing a quick kiss. Both heard Remus let out a sigh of annoyance and pulled away quickly, Dorcas's cheeks three shades brighter.
"He mentioned something about his mother…or at least, I thought I heard him talking about his mother flipping out if and when she found out." Dorcas supplied.
"Yes," Remus said, wiping his mouth with his napkin and pushing his plate of food further away from him. "About that; the reason why we don't want to be there is because if we were there, he would ask for our help, like he did this morning, and then he'll never have a last resort to go to, which is his mother, and therefore, he'll never tell her about Harry."
"And this way," Sirius put in, "James will be forced to deal with his mother and-."
"It's better now than never," Dorcas finished with a small smile. "Oh, you two are evil."
"Why thank you," Sirius replied cheekily.
"We aren't Marauders for nothing." Remus added, smiling as the three clinked their butterbeer bottles together and tossed their heads back, drinking what was left of the warm liquid.
James was snapped awake, as he had fallen asleep watching his son napping, by the said infant. Quickly, he scooped Harry up in his arms and tried to quiet him. Nothing worked; he tried giving him another bottle, burping him, and singing to him. James grunted in frustration.
"Come on, please don't cry," James begged, lightly swaying back and forth. "There's not need to cry, Harry, no reason at all."
Harry's face twisted in discomfort and James had to remind himself that his son was not going to spontaneously combust. "What's wrong?" James asked, while Harry continued to wail. "Do you miss Mummy? Is that it?" His reply was a scream. "I'll take that as a no; what's wrong?"
Harry persisted to cry and James tried to quiet him down when suddenly, James was met by a horrific smell. He sniffed around, not exactly sure what he was smelling. He walked into the kitchen and checked the trash can, the refrigerator, and the pantry for something that could cause such a stench. He felt Harry squirm in his arms and cast a look down at his son. Grudgingly, he took a whiff of his son and his face scrunched up.
"Oh, sweet mother of all things holy, that is the most god-awful smelt I've ever inhaled in my life! How in bleeding hell did you do that!" James questioned Harry incredulously. As if mocking his father, little Harry let out a giggle, which immediately made James smile.
James ambled back into the living room, trying not to breath through his nose in fear of getting another horrendous whiff of Harry's dirty diaper. He set Harry down in the pumpkin seat and got down on his knees, beginning to look through all the contents of the diaper bag. He figured that he must've overlooked the instructions in his hysteria when Harry began crying for the first time…well after he had brought him into the flat.
"Now, where are they?" James muttered to himself as he picked his way through the various articles of baby clothing, which if not in the current situation, he would've found adorable, and all the little baby necessities. He tossed a rattle over his shoulder and heard it collide with something behind him.
"Ouch, bloody hell, Prongs: what in the name of Merlin did you just throw at me?" came the screeching voice of Sirius. "Prongs, where are you?"
James sighed as he pushed his way out from under the coffee table, successfully hitting his head on the corner and grunting in annoyance as he saw Harry laugh again. It would've warmed his heart if he wasn't so aggravated. He looked over his shoulder at Sirius and grinned at the sight of his best mate clutching his nose. "Okay," James said, turning to Harry, "maybe I shouldn't thrown potential dangerous baby toys around?"
Again, Harry giggled, causing a huge grin to spread across James's face. He leaned forward to pick up his son when he met the awful smell again. He could hear Sirius grumbling under his breath as he shuffled his way down the hall, toward the bathroom. The door slammed as Remus walked in through the front door.
"Hello Prongs, how has your da-" Remus's face scrunched up. "What in God's name is that smell, James?"
James nudged his head toward Harry, who had his fingers in his mouth, threatening to gnaw them off. "He's got a dirty diaper."
"And you're just gonna let him smell up the whole damn place?" Remus exclaimed dubiously.
"No, I'm not going to let it 'smell up the whole damn place', and watch your language, we have little ears around," James said, gesturing once more toward Harry, who looked back at him with big emerald eyes. James was about to take the infant out of his seat when he reminded himself of how horrible his son smelt.
"Sod off, you prick," Remus grumbled. The werewolf sighed heavily and plopped down on the couch. "Bloody hell Prongs, you've got to do something about that!"
"What can I do about it Moony?" James questioned, throwing his arms up in the air.
"You could change him!" Remus retorted.
"I don't know how to bloody do it, Moony!" shouted James. The content smile vanished from Harry's face the second his father raised his voice and he withdrew his fingers from his mouth, threatening to cry again. James whipped around and scooted forward. "Oh no, Harry, it's all right; there's not need to cry. Don't cry, okay? Be a good boy and please don't cry."
Harry seemed to think it through for a moment, touched by his father's sudden change of attitude toward him, of that James was sure and stuffed his fingers back in his mouth. James sighed as Sirius threw himself down on the couch next to Remus, immediately complaining about the stench. The werewolf took the time to explain James's current situation and Sirius looked back at his best mate helplessly.
"I'm sorry, mate; we should've had Dorcas stay longer."
"She had to go to work, you dumbass," muttered Remus, folding his arms moodily over his chest.
James noticed this slightly aggressive action and asked, "What's got your knickers in a twist, Moony? That time of the month again?"
Remus grabbed the pillow beside him and chucked it at James, who dodged it with ease after years of Quidditch. James stuck his tongue out at the werewolf, who glowered back at him. "How many times have I asked you not to call me that, James? How many?"
"Too many to count," Sirius said, eyeing Harry with curiosity. "How can something so small produce such a reeking stench; even I can't do that and I'm a full grown man."
Remus clapped him on the shoulder and said with all seriousness, "If you tell yourself that enough, Padfoot, it just might come true."
"Sod off, you bleeding prat." Sirius said, smacking Remus on the arm. The two chuckled before turning their attention back to James, who had resumed his searching. "Uh, Prongs?"
"Yes Padfoot?"
"What in the name of Merlin's mother are you doing?"
"Looking for those damn instructions; they've got to be here somewhere. Lily wouldn't forget something like that." James replied instantly, making Remus and Sirius's eyes widen in surprise.
James had been incapable of saying Lily's name--unless he was completely smashed or sleeping-- since she had left. The stag had to admit to himself that he was quite shocked as it rolled off his tongue so easily. Normally, he referred to her as Evans when speaking to others, though he called her Lily in his thoughts.
"Oh shove it, you two are acting like Marlene McKinnon when someone brings up the name Voldemort." They continued to stare at him in half shock. "Help me look for those bleeding instructions, dammit." James snapped irritably.
Remus slid off the couch first and began rummaging through the diaper and Sirius began taking the cushions off the couch, searching for the piece of parchment.
"Wait a minute!" Remus cried, slapping his forehead.
"What!" James said eagerly, backing up from his spot under the table and bumping his head on the corner of the coffee table.
Sirius fought to hold back his laughter, a small snicker escaping his lips.
"So," James said, tentatively touching the back of his head. "What's the discovery you've made, Moonbeam?"
Remus glared at Prongs and sighed, "We're wizards, are we not?"
They nodded eagerly.
"Accio instructions!" Remus called, holding out his wand. Harry, who had been watching the adults with wide eyes, let out a sob and James whipped his head in the direction of his son. As soon as Harry saw that his father was looking at him, he stopped and stared at the ceiling. James let out a breath of relief as the directions came soaring into Remus's outstretched hand. "Success!" He cried.
James leapt up from his crouched position on the floor excitedly, his knee crashing into the coffee table. "Bleeding hell, how many times can a chap do that in one day?" He grasped his kneecap in one hand and hopped over to Remus, snatching the instructions out of the werewolf's hand.
"A thanks would be nice," Remus muttered.
"Thanks Moony," James replied, smiling winningly at him as he ripped open the wax seal and unfolded the piece of parchment. His eyes swept over the page of neatly written handwriting quickly as he took in the information.
After a few minutes of silence, and very expectant looks from his two mates, James lowered the parchment and stared back at them.
"Well?" Sirius drawled.
James shook his head. "Nothing," he whispered.
"What do you mean 'nothing'?" Remus questioned.
James's hazel eyes flashed with anger as he threw the instructions on the floor. "There's nothing about changing a bloody diaper on the damn thing! You'd think that she'd put it on there, as it is very important, but nooooo! She didn't. Merlin forbid she do anything to help me out, like dropping our child on my doorstep without even letting me know that he existed until thirteen bloody hours ago!" James grunted in frustration and ran a hand through his hair. "Oh Merlin, what am I going to do? I can very well let him sit there and soil himself! Padfoot? Moony?"
Remus sighed and exchanged a look with Sirius, who nodded.
"What?" James questioned.
"It's time to call in reinforcements," Remus said.
A look of sudden horror spread over James's face. "No," he whispered, shaking his head. "Not that…anything but that."
"Yes, Prongs, that." Sirius shook his head in remorse. "It's time to call Mumsie."
A/N: Review!