Chapter Twenty Three

3 days later

Enterprise was back on their original mission of exploration after the Guardian's ship had dropped them off light years away from the previous anomaly field. As promised, Trip and T'Pol had been dropped off unharmed; Trip back in Sickbay still unconscious after his operation and T'Pol, who for some unknown reason to Captain Archer seemed very preoccupied and lost in thought, returned back to her quarters for meditation. She didn't let on to Phlox, Archer and Reed what had happened to put her like this, only that Trip had been unconscious the whole time and he hadn't seen or held the little girl.

Captain Archer was initially furious, but he calmed down a little when T'Pol later informed him that Malandria had, in a way, kept her word. She had given T'Pol an orb, which she asked her to pass on to Trip when he'd recovered enough. The orb, encoded with his DNA, contained a personal message that would activate only for him. Malandria was sorry that they couldn't hang around to wait for his recovery but she wanted to get Selandria away from any possible danger where she could grow up learning about her heritage and her destiny. She would make sure that Selandria never forgot the kindness shown to her by Trip (who would be known to her as her father) and the other humans on Enterprise. Malandria hoped they would be able to meet again some time in the foreseeable future when Selandria had fulfilled her destiny and resolved the conflict on Daled V, bringing peace to the two societies. She hoped that Trip wouldn't suffer any distress caused from her actions, but if the unfortunate did happen, T'Pol would be in a position to rectify the situation.

Archer wanted to know what she meant by this, but T'Pol was unwilling to elaborate further, saying it was personal and between her and Trip only. At first he left it at that, although he wasn't happy with the situation, and Enterprise continued on with her journey, but Trip's condition soon warranted that he act further.

"Captain, you wanted to see me?" asked T'Pol, walking into the ready room.

"Yes," replied a rather dejected Archer. "It's about Trip, I'm worried about him. He seems to be getting more and more depressed since he came around and found out the child has been taken. I've tried talking to him to explain what happened but he just lies there, not talking or doing anything – just staring off into the distance. Phlox has even said that he's refusing food."

"I have noticed," answered T'Pol, "his behavior is … troubling. Considering how he managed to deal with Elizabeth's death, I'm surprised this time how much his behavior has declined."

"It's not quite the same, T'Pol," explained Archer. "Last time he had his friends to help him through it. This time I get the impression that he blames us, and I'm sorry to say, but I think he's right. We are to blame … we should have done more to stop them from just taking her away like that," he said, turning round to stare out of the window at the passing stars. "Some friends we turned out to be."

"Captain, it was unfortunate, but you had no choice," said T'Pol.

"I keep telling myself that, T'Pol, but how can I convince Trip when I can't even convince myself. In a way, I think we're just as bad as Paxton."

"You are not a murderer, Captain. Trip may have lost Selandria but at least she's alive … at least she has a future. That is more than Elizabeth was able to have," she said sadly, dealing with the rush of emotions that those memories brought forth.

"I'm sorry, T'Pol," said Archer, "this is probably just as hard for you as well.

"It is, but I was shown something that has made me see things a lot clearer and able to cope with all those negative emotions that memories of her bring forth. That's why I think now is a good time to show him the message that Malandria left."

"That's right… an orb … wasn't it? It contained a personal message encoded for Trip only?"

"Yes, I was going to wait a bit longer until he was fully recovered, but I think his current behavior warrants him viewing this now."

"Did Malandria give you a clue as to what the message was?" asked Captain Archer, worried that it might make the situation worse.

"No," replied T'Pol, clued on to what Archer was thinking, "but if it's anything like the message I saw, it will help ease the pain he's feeling at the moment and show him that there is hope for a future."

"I hope you're right, T'Pol. For Trip's sake, I hope you're right."

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After a quick diversion to her room to retrieve the orb, T'Pol then walked into sickbay where Trip was still recuperating. Phlox looked up from the side workbench where he was working when she entered.

"T'Pol, what can I do for you?"

"I have come to see Trip," she answered, walking to the far corner bio bed that was surrounded by curtains.

"He doesn't want to see any visitors at the moment," said Phlox, walking in front of him. "Even though I don't agree with this, as his doctor, I have to obey his wishes."

"That doesn't apply to me due to the nature of our relationship," replied T'Pol with a determined look in her face, as she tried to walk past. "Or are you preventing a spouse from seeing her mate also?"

"As far as I'm aware, you and Commander Tucker are not married," said Phlox, blocking her path again.

"Maybe not in the official sense, Doctor, but in my culture, the same thing applies with the nature of our relationship. If you would excuse me …" answered T'Pol, as they both stared each other down with a battle of wills. After a few minutes, Phlox nodded his head and walked away. "If my patient becomes upset, I will not hesitate to order you out of my sickbay …

With a nod of her head, she pulled the curtains aside and sat down beside his bed. Trip had his back towards her and he made no indication of turning around, even though she was certain he was aware of her presence.

"Trip," she said softly, placing her hand on his shoulder. "Trip, please. I want to help. I know what you're going through right now"

"With all due respect, T'Pol, how--"

"Alone … lost … adrift in a sea of negative emotions, where you feel you are going to be swallowed up at any moment," answered T'Pol, as watched Trip slowly turned round to face her, surprised that she was willing to lay bare her soul to him. "That's how I felt after Elizabeth's and my mother's death. I didn't realize it at the time, maybe I didn't want to, but right there beside me was a rock, reaching out for me to hold on to it."

"A rock?" queried Trip.

"Yes, a very stubborn rock who refused to keep quiet and go away. Even when I explained that it's presence at the time was too painful for me to handle, it still refused to leave my side."

"Is it still there?"

"Yes, I find its company comforting to the point that I now don't ever want it to leave or go away."

"That's good ta hear."

"I'm afraid though," continued T'Pol. "I fear it's losing its solidity and starting to crumble away. So even though reaching out for the rock might cause it to lose more of its mass, I have decided to take a chance and grab hold of this object."

"You … a Vulcan … taking a chance?" questioned Trip.

"Yes, I'm going to take a firm grasp and pull it towards the safety of my bosom where it can feel safe again and needed. Where it won't feel so alone and where it will see and feel that we are one entity together."

"What if it doesn't want to be … enclosed within the safety of your … bosom?" asked Trip.

"It has never objected before," replied T'Pol with a twinkle in her eyes that finally brought a much needed smile to Trip's face.

"Thanks, T'Pol," smiled Trip clasping hold of her hand, "I needed that."

"I have something else that may put a smile on your face as well," said T'Pol, turning round to pick up the orb from where she had placed it. "This is a message given to me by Malandria."

"A message?"

"Yes, when she informed us that she intended to leave straight away after they had returned you to Enterprise to recover from your operation, the captain objected and threatened to preventing her ship from departing, despite the fact that she had threatened to destroy the ship if we tried to stop her. We convinced her to give you 'closure', so you could be spared the grief that losing Salandria would bring."

"I didn't realize that!" answered Trip, appearing to be touched at the lengths his friends had gone to for him.

"I wanted you to be fully recovered before I gave it to you."

"Do ya know what it says?" asked Trip, his curiosity coming to the forefront.

"No, it's encoded to activate to your DNA only," replied T'Pol as she handed the orb over.

Carefully, Trip picked up the orb and placed it into the palms of his hands. Peering into the object, he closed his eyes and concentrated. Mesmerized, T'Pol watched as his face mirrored different emotions as time passed. After a few minutes, he opened his very blurry and moist eyes, as he tried to gather in his emotions again.

"I apologise if I have added to your sorrow," said T'Pol, saddened by the fact that the message looked like it had made him worse.

"Ya didn't," replied Trip, putting up on a brave smile, "it was just a little overwhelming, seeing all of that." She didn't say it, but she knew that Trip could tell that she was curious about what he'd seen. "It wasn't like any message that I've seen before," he explained. "It was like page--"

"Pages turning in a book?"

"How'd ya know?"

"I have had a similar vision," answered T'Pol, as she silently encouraged him to go on.

"I saw myself holding her," explained Trip, "she was so beautiful … an then I sort of heard a voice in ma head and I don't know how, but it was her. She said she was sorry that she had to go away, that she really wanted to see and get to know me as she thought I would be a great daddy," he said, as tears started rolling down his face. "Someday she hoped that we could meet and be a real family and that she would always think of me as her daddy."

T'Pol reached out and grabbed his hand as he wiped the tears away with the other. "You know, there's a small part of me that's glad that she's gonna be alright, but there's also a huge part of me that feels angry that she's wrenched away. First Lorian, then Elizabeth and now Salandria; It feels like I'm destined to grow old by myself, and die alone a wrinkled and cranky ole man. I think that's what is making me feel so bad at the moment, that and feeling so selfish for feeling that way …"

"That isn't possible and will not happen, Trip."

"What makes you so sure?" asked Trip.

"Because a little girl told me so," answered T'Pol, with a hint of a smile. "Let me share something with you. My logical Vulcan mind informs me that nothing is certain or fact, but living with humans has taught me to 'follow my heart'."

Tenderly she placed her left hand on his face to initiate a mind meld, all the while focusing on her vision …

Suddenly an image appeared in her mind. At first it was blurred, as if she would see it through a fog, but after a moment, the fog dissolved, and she saw herself holding delicate, new-born baby. Trip kneeled beside her, wearing a big, goofy smile all the while tears were streaming down his face. Then she saw herself walking through her mother's courtyard on Vulcan. She was headed towards the willow tree where Trip sat cross-legged alongside a young blond haired Vulcan boy--

They sat together holding each others hand as the image and the meld faded, "let us guide each other as we try and put together our own book."

"I'd like that, T'Pol," smiled Trip as he pulled her in for a hug, "now git that bosem of your down here so I can feel warm, safe, loved and whole."

"Vulcans don't normally like physical contact," said T'Pol, as she enclosed him within her arms, "but in your case, I am willing to forgo that rule. It is only logical, I am your rock after all."

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