By animeninjaNIPPON

OK, here's another JtHM fic from my deviant mind... This one will eventually be slash, so if you don't like, don't read. NNY/SQUEE ALERT - CONSIDER YOURSELF OFFICIALLY WARNED!

That said, clearly I'm not Jhonen Vasquez, meaning that I try to keep everyone in character but I cannot do so every single freakin' sentence. I don't own Johnny the Homicidal Maniac, Squee, Invader Zim, etc. (No IZ crossover here - I just added that last one in 'cuz I'm used to writing for that fandom.)

Also, this fic was somewhat inspired by the song "You Get What You Give" by the New Radicals. I don't own that either, but if you know the song, look for references to that and some JtHM Easter eggs as well.

- The New Radicals, "You Get What You Give"

The door of house 777 opened with a creak, and blood formed a pool where each strange leather boot stepped in. Blood-and-rain-soaked Johnny C. slammed the door behind him just as lightning lit up the midnight sky.

"You killed her," came the unmistakable voice of Reverend MEAT.

"I...immortalized the moment." There was a pang of guilt in the thin man's voice. He hadn't wanted to relapse like this. He had gone away to avoid those feelings, that temporary lust for affection, but Rev. MEAT had tricked him into needing it again. That feeling - more powerful than pseudoephedrines or methamphetamines, or any other drug (not that Johnny succumbed to such vices) - could never last. She, with her black-streaked platinum blonde hair and her tendency to lure manic-depressive men, had told Johnny that he was the best she'd ever had, the best she ever would have. Before she could give him an empty physical touch, he plunged a knife into her bosom, then another into her back. She never made another comment.

"You can't dwell on the memories of what was," Rev. MEAT continued. "You have to feel the moment as it happens; live in the here and now."

At this, Johnny's mood changed dramatically. "Fuck that! In order to do THAT, I'd have to find even MORE of them! And this world is so full of ugly assholes, there would be nothing left! And why do I fucking deserve something so beautiful?"

"That's your problem, Nny. You can't enjoy what is."

"What the FUCK is that supposed to mean?" Johnny started, then felt something in his body shift. "I need a brainfreezy!"

With that, he was out the door again.

-----

He arrived at the 24/7 still covered in blood and rainwater, much to the horror of the sales clerk. As he went to get his freezy, he thought about what Rev. MEAT said. Perhaps if Nny didn't kill them off at the climax of their relationships, more happiness would ensue... And they never fought back, which led Johnny to think that maybe they weren't worth it after all.

Actually, one did fight back - kicked Johnny's ass and escaped, to put it bluntly. The event sparked something deep within Johnny. At first he thought it was head trauma, but it turned out to be a greater need for that girl - Devi D. She had been more perfect than the others, but the last time he called her (which was as soon as he got back from his "holiday") he got a three-toned ring informing him that the number had been disconnected.

And then there was his infamous "holiday," which lasted all of three months. Three fucking months. Or maybe it was a year. It didn't really matter; the idea was that he couldn't take being away - it left him feeling emptier than before. He still killed jerks that pissed him off, so he said to himself, "What's the fucking point?" and came back.

Johnny picked up his brainfreezy and headed toward the clerk, but then he heard a loud "SQUEEEEE!" and the toppling of a thousand bags. He turned around.

There was a kid, maybe fifteen at the oldest (judging by appearance), with his hands to his mouth in surprise. He wore a long-sleeved shirt with vertical black-and-purple stripes and black boots similar to Johnny's. Johnny studied the teen and the knocked-over chip display carefully. He slowly made a connection...

"Senor Salsa!" He strode over to the pile of chips and grabbed a bag. The wide-eyed teen just stared on.

After paying for the snacks, he got into his car and drove home. He got caught by a red light at one intersection, and someone crossed the street in front of him. The rain against his windshield made it difficult to see clearly, even with the one working wiper going back and forth, but he could have sworn that the pedestrian was that same kid he saw back at the 24/7. Not that it carried any significance - all those narrow-minded assholes looked pretty much the same...

A car honked behind Johnny. "The light's green, you fucking faggot!"

Immediately, Johnny stepped out of his car. "What did you say?"

"Whoa, you're even skinny like a fag." The man from the other car had greasy blackish green hair and a pierced eyebrow.

Johnny reached into his car and retrieved a long, white rod. "You know, it's shit like you that makes me hate my life." He walked menacingly closer to the other guy, tapping his rod gently against his palm.

"Oh SHIT!" The other man swerved into the other lane and tore down the slippery road like there was no tomorrow.

Johnny got back into his car to follow that guy, but he caught sight of his brainfreezy and chips and quickly changed his mind. Not even caring that the light had turned red again, he drove home.

-----

"I see you're eating," Rev. MEAT said calmly. "You needed to satisfy your hunger."

"So?" Johnny gushed through a mouthful of chips.

"You care enough to satisfy your hunger. Maybe you should care enough to satisfy something else. People need people, Nny."

"Fuck you! I don't need you to control my life!"

"If you didn't, I wouldn't be here."

Johnny slurped the rest of his freezy and stared blankly at the television screen, which up to now he hadn't realized was on.

Some strange, unfamiliar commercial came on. Although it had nothing to do with the current thing on TV, a thought suddenly crossed Johnny's mind.

"Squeegee...that kid was Squee..."

"What? 'Squee'?" Rev. MEAT asked.

"Nothing. It's nothing. Leave me alone!"

End of part one