Summary: From this time on, any students caught having sex on the school premises will be expelled immediately. No questions asked. Do I make myself clear? L/J 7th year. R 'n R :-)

Disclaimer: Everything belongs to the one and only J. K. Rowling. All hail.

This Time

Chapter Two: To Expect The Unexpected

'Are you serious?'

'Yes, I am Sirius.'

'Ha ha.' James glared at his best friend. 'You have to go out with her now, you realise that don't you Padfoot?' James hadn't let up all evening. Now, as they roasted marshmallows by the fire in the common room, he was still pestering Sirius.

'No shit. You asked me to ask her out!' Sirius turned his nose up at the black sludge on the end of his stick.

'I did no such thing!' James yelped indignantly, not fooling anyone.

'I really don't mind her anyhow,' Sirius yawned. 'She's actually quite nice, you know. Or you would,' he sniggered, 'if you'd only look for two seconds at any other female besides the wrench.'

'Don't call her that!' James growled, throwing the soft packet of marshmallows as hard as he could in the direction of his best friend. They landed with a small pat on the floor between them.

'I went out with Fi for a month in third year,' Remus said, drawing the conversation away from, as Sirius called her the wrench, otherwise Lily Evans.

'Really?' James frowned. 'I'd completely forgotten that.'

'Why'd you break up?' Sirius asked, looking a bit uneasy.

Remus smiled, easily waving away Sirius's concern. 'We were thirteen,' he replied as if this statement explained all. 'I dunno, I had boy germs or something.'

James snorted. 'Right. Where's Lily?'

Remus shrugged, rolling his eyes. James' incredible infatuation may seem cute, admirable even, but putting up with it for the last three years running was something else entirely. 'What's up with you two? Anything change last night, you think?'

James had, of course, lamented the whole run of events to his friends as soon as he was given the opportunity. Over, and over, and over, and over again. All night long, and all of the following day.

James grimaced. 'I dunno. I wonder if she even likes me sometimes.'

'How could she not like you?' Peter piped up, always ready with a compliment.

Sirius gave Peter a disgusted look. In his own opinion, as of late, it would not be too hard at all to find his friend somewhat unlikeable as an understatement. He wanted James back; as arrogant and self-righteous as was to the norm. Sirius grinned wickedly, plots and plans twisting their way through his mind. 'She's over there,' he pointed his black stick at a corner. Lily was bent over a book, sitting alone at a table piled high with mountains of…

At least he thought they were books, though he'd be the first to admit he was often mistaken in the matter - they may well be large, prism shaped rhinoceroses.

James took a deep breath, slowly getting up from his chair. 'I'm going to talk to her.'

'No shit,' Sirius snapped, slumping back into his seat and shovelling twelve pink marshmallows into his mouth.

For the second time that day James marched up to Lily's table and sat down beside her. Again she gave him no sign of acknowledgment.

'Do you want to go for a walk?' James grabbed the book from her hands, throwing it across the room to fall on a group of innocent second years.

Did he have no subtlety whatsoever? Did he have no clue when to leave well enough alone? 'No, it's too late.'

'I'm hungry. How about we go get some food? Or we can check the hallways for any naughty students? Or we could do some astronomy revision in the north tower?' James was very persistent, as Lily knew well enough.

'What do you really want to do, James?' She asked, though she regretted the words as soon as they had left her mouth.

'Make insane love to you in an empty classroom,' he whispered back in her ear. She pushed her chair further away from him, glaring furiously as he gave her that smile. Damn that smile.

'No.' But the angry tone of Lily's voice was contrary to the smile playing on her lips.

'Are you really a virgin?' James whispered again, moving his chair to cover the distance she had spread between them and resting his arm around her shoulders. She pried his arm away immediately, pushed her chair still further till it was right against the wall, and answered his question in a very small voice.

'Yes.' A blush crept onto her cheeks.

'Why?' He asked, and for once did not attempt to get any closer.

'Is it any of your business?' Lily rolled her eyes. Of course it wasn't, but she'd tell him so anyway, if only so he'd drop the subject before anyone could overhear. 'I want it to be with someone special. Someone I love,' Lily growled, already reaching for another book. 'You're so embarrassing.'

'Embarrassing in a special way?' James asked, a cocky grin on his face. He had won - he had got her to answer. He had a hell of a lot more to think about now, and further courses of action to plan on the right way to seduce her. He moved closer again, much to her obvious annoyance, and rested a hand on her thigh, cautiously rising it under her skirt, massaging between her legs.

'No,' Lily bristled, slapping his hand away only to see it leap back as if he were made of elastic. This was practically sexual harassment! 'Maybe.' She took a sharp breath as his hand moved too far. 'Stop it.'

'Don't you like it?'

'That is not what I said. Stop it!' Lily grabbed his hand.

'Are you going to break up with Diggory tomorrow?'

'Who did you loose your virginity to?' Lily asked, avoiding his question.

'Avril Goosberry, end of last year.' James grinned at her.

'Avril? That stupid Hufflepuff?'

'You're dating a stupid Hufflepuff.'

'Shut up.'

'Only if you come for a walk with me.' Lily rolled her eyes. 'We wouldn't be doing much talking then anyway.'

She punched his arm. 'It's eleven o'clock.'

James cocked his head over to where Sirius, Remus and Peter sat. 'They wont be going to bed for a while yet,' he said, letting go of his seducing antics for a more practical approach. When all else fails, there's always homework. 'Let's go up to my room, I have the plans for the Christmas party there that we really need to get started on.'

Frowning, Lily sighed. She supposed, if she must, she could put up with him for another half hour or so.

James took her hand. 'Come on, no-ones watching us.'

Lily glanced around the common room. It was true, most people had already headed upstairs to their respective rooms in any case.

They stood, quickly walking across the common room, then hurried up the stairs of the boys dormitory and into James's room. Lily rubbed feebly at her temple, trying not to stare in amusement at the underwear and general mess scattered about the floor. She didn't notice the silent locking charm James had sent towards the door.

James yawned, picking up a torn bag from the ground and emptying it's contents over his own bed, searching for the plans he had been speaking of. At last he shoved a clipboard of lists under her nose, throwing himself backwards to dive onto his bed.

Moving slowly towards him, glaring at the various Quidditch posters eying them off suspiciously, Lily watched as James kicked off his shoes and socks, making himself far too comfortable for her liking.

Why had Dumbledore had to make him, of all the people he could have chosen, Head Boy was far beyond her.

… … … … …

Sirius yawned again, eyeing the empty table where Lily and James had previously been conversing. 'Where'd our favourite Heads go?' He asked Remus, throwing the empty packet of marshmallows into the fire where it was consumed, shrivelling to wiry black flakes.

Remus frowned, pulling the marauder's map from his bag.

… … … … …

James would do anything for Sirius, as Sirius would do anything for James. But the marauder's had rules, and one of them was never bringing a girl up to their room. This was a room they spent hours plotting, talking and simply bonding- it was the guy's domain, and no female should ever enter into it. That James would throw aside all courtesy to his best mates and break this rule, without even letting any of them know, was cutting it very thin indeed.

Sirius's face grew red with anger as a small speech bubble appeared next to "Prongs and Lily Evans" on the marauder's map, reading:

--Trying to get laid, do not disturb.--

'I'm going to kill him!' Sirius took a sharp intake of breath.

'Don't,' Remus said with an amused, wolfish grin. 'Even if that is what's on Prongs' mind, I highly doubt that's what they're doing! Besides, James has been after Lily since first year. And look,' Remus pointed at the map, 'they're on his bed, at least.'

'I don't care,' Sirius growled and stood up. 'That is what empty classrooms and hogsmeade visits are for.'

Remus tried to hide his laughter as Sirius stomped up to boys dorms, a determined look set on his face.

Reaching the door Sirius pulled hard on the knob- it was locked. He was locked out of his own room. Growling even more passionately with anger, Sirius kicked it as hard as he could, hopping on the spot as pain laced through his femur.

'James Potter!' He yelled, not realising he was waking up just about every male Gryffindor. 'YOU HAD BETTER NOT BE DOING WHAT I THINK YOU ARE!'

And with that Sirius proceeded to draw his wand from his pocket, as other doors right along the corridor opened and curious spectators rubbed their puffy eyes.

If Sirius was furious, that's nothing to how angry James was now, emerging from the room with a frown, a sugar quill tucked behind his ear.

'What the hell?' James cried, glaring angrily at his friend.

'DO NOT GO THERE'-

James took a look up the corridor filled with eager faces, awaiting to see who the girl was. Evidently, Sirius' yell had been quite insinuating to the hormone raged teenage boys' minds. 'WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU ALL STARING AT?' James roared at them, turning in a full circle to glare at every single face. 'GO BACK TO BED NOW!'

Very disappointed, but not nearly enough to argue with the angry Head Boy, doors began to shut as the boys shuffled sulkily back to bed.

When the last door was closed Lily came up behind James, to Sirius' surprise fully clothed and more furious then he had ever seen her before- and that was definitely saying something. Without a word to either boy she stormed down the stairs and back to the common room, undoubtabley headed for bed as she regretted not having done earlier.

James pulled Sirius inside, slamming the door shut. 'Why did you do that?' He asked in a crisp, mock polite voice.

'Why?' Sirius cried indignantly. 'We have a code, James. And we saw what you were up to on the map.' Taking a deep breath, Sirius suddenly found the whole situation quite funny and proceeded at fall into hysterical laughter. 'Or, shall I say, what you were trying to do.'

Remus knocked quietly on the door before opening. Throwing his armful of books onto his bed, he quickly surveyed the situation. Sirius was lying on the floor crying as James desperately tried to keep a smile off his face.

Remus sighed in relief.

… … … … …

Although Transfiguration was James' favourite subject, any class first thing on Monday morning is just asking to be hated. He entered ten minutes late with Sirius in tow, grinning an apology to Professor McGonagall they moved to the back of the crowded classroom, sitting in their usual seats. If it had been any other students McGonagall would have handed them a detention without thinking; but James Potter and Sirius Black were her best students, her single exception, uncannily adapt as they were to transfiguration.

'Now that we are all seated,' Professor McGonagall began hastily. 'I wish to remind the Gryffindor seventh years of the rules here at Hogwarts on sexual conduct.' Immediately she had the rooms full attention, the Ravenclaws who shared the class with Gryffindor raising their eyebrows, throwing questioning looks at their classmates. A few girls tried to hide giggles behind their books.

James slid as far as he could down in his chair, searching the room for Lily's reaction to this. One of those stupid first years could not possibly have gotten to McGonagall already, could they? He spotted her at last, sitting with Fiona at the front. It looked as though she was desperately trying not to blush. Had some stupid first year really dobbed them in?

'The next person to utter a sound will land a months detention,' Professor McGonagall cried above the ruckus. 'This is a serious misconduct and breach of our trust.' James sunk lower into his chair. 'I think I have a fair idea of who the pair is,' Professor McGonagall stared straight at Frank Longbottom and Alice Klayton. 'They have till the end of the day to come forward or there will be a further investigation into the matter.

'Hogwarts has a reputation to maintain and we've got this far through rules of high standard. From this time on, any students caught having sex on the school premises will be expelled immediately. No questions asked. Do I make myself clear?' McGonagall surveyed the class, making sure everyone was more than clear on the matter. Her eyes fell finally on James, who was slumped over his desk and Sirius, who was biting his hand to keep from laughing, tears streaming down his handsome face.

'James Potter!' He looked up at her, the whole class turning in their seats to watch. 'Are you paying attention?'

'Yes, of course Professor,' James replied, staring fixedly at the clock on the wall behind her.

Professor McGonagall frowned, walking back to her desk. 'Are there any questions?' James raised his hand. She looked back at him sceptically. 'Yes, Mr Potter?'

'So, we are still allowed to have sex outside of the school, right? Like in Hogsmeade and on Christmas?' The class broke out in laughter, drowning the professors' angry cry.

'Detention, Potter! Two weeks!'

… … … … …

Lily finally cornered James at lunch, just as he'd sat down to eat in the Great Hall.

'Grab a sandwich,' Lily growled into his ear. 'We need to talk.'

James nodded, grabbing a hand full of his favourite roast beef. Hauling his bag over his shoulder, waving goodbye to his group of friends, they made their way outside into the brittle winter air. It was only when they were far enough away from anyone else that Lily began to slow down, and James wouldn't have been surprised to see steam blowing out of her ears.

'Really fucking smart James, drawing attention to yourself like that in class.' She glared at him.

'Lily, no-one even knows we're going out!' James replied with his mouth full, then swallowed too quickly and had to cough.

'We are not going out,' Lily seethed, watching in revoltion as flecks of soggy bread tumbled from his mouth, 'and that is disgusting. You haven't changed, I don't know how I even considered befriending you.'

They had drawn even with the lake and James sat down heavily on the wet grass, pulling Lily down with him. 'You don't mean that, you're only feeling guilty after McG's little pep talk.'

'Aren't you?' Lily shrieked, near hysterics.

'No.' He smiled at her. That fucking smile. 'We could easily let Frank and Alice take all the credit.' Before Lily could tell him just what she thought of that, James began again. 'Not that it really matters anyway - we weren't doing anything! Don't worry so much, it's not healthy.' James rolled his eyes, biting eagerly into another sandwich.

Lily didn't look relieved in the least.

James swallowed again, not realising a piece of spinach stayed stuck between his teeth, and he grinned at her in what he thought to be his most enchanting way. 'As if they'd ever throw out two of the best, most talented and beautiful students anyway,' he scoffed. 'Least of all the Heads. We could probably get away with murder here and no one would bat an eyelash!'

Lily gave him a hard shove. 'You are so arrogant! Don't you feel even the slightest bit guilty?' And with that she stormed back to the castle, albeit a little less agitated then before. And she hoped, she prayed, that McGonagall would not hold her word to the "further investigations".

… … … … …

It took no time at all for the news to spread through the castle - Who were the horniest couple? By the end of the last class for the day, most people had decided it had to be Frank Longbottom and Alice Klayton.

Besides the one snitch who had initially told Professor McGonagall such antics were carrying on through the previous night, it seemed the other Gryffindor males were holding loyal to James and refrained from spreading their valuable information. For this James was undeniably grateful, going well out of his way to be friendly and helpful.

Not that he really had anything to hide, the whole episode had been a complete misunderstanding, but it could do no damage to his reputation for the Gryffindor community to simply assume that something had happened in his room.

And so it was that the days drew on…

It's funny how much humans take things for granted. Like, you could own a pair of jeans for years and never wear them, but as soon as they're gone you find yourself desperately wanting them. Similarly when a ban falls into place, like forbidding all students from having sex, everyone suddenly wants to do it. And so it was at Hogwarts, as the weather turned even more colder and wetter and students found the most pleasing comfort in snuggling up with a member of the opposite sex. Sirius and Fiona never missed an opportunity to test the teachers in just how close they could get during class.

Two weeks dragged slowly on and Lily hadn't muttered a single word to James. Not wanting to make things worse between them, James chose to give her a bit of space, deciding she'd come to her senses (or hormones) when the sexual tension calmed down a bit.

As another week ended without further incident, the second Quidditch match of the year bloomed, sending spirits high and soaring. Slytherin versus Hufflepuff.

Sirius and James plunged gaily into the onslaught of yellow, Remus and Peter glumly trailing behind. Several Hufflepuffs turned to glare at them, intruding as they were dressed in Slytherin green and silver. But James only had eyes for one particular supporter, whom glared at him as furiously as ever from above her badger-scarf, violent red hair escaping her bun in the wind.

Sirius shoved James forward from his stupor, sitting themselves directly behind Lily and Fi in the spectators box, just as the Quidditch players lifted up into the air.

Usually, of course, the marauder's wouldn't have been seen dead supporting Slytherin. But as this particular match happened to include a certain 'needs-to-be-eliminated-opposition', they were forced to brave the snakes. After all, if Gryffindors' couldn't find the courage for such humiliation as being seen wearing green, what else did they have?

In the background of James's mind he could hear the commentary beginning and the scores being read, but somehow he just couldn't keep his concentration on anything other than Lily.

That in itself was anything but unusual.

'Do you mind?' Lily, sick of feeling his eyes on the back of her head, had swung around from her seat and was staring at him intently.

James blinked. 'What?' He smiled back at her.

Lily's heart prickled. 'Quit staring at me all the time, it's getting on my nerves.'

James felt a blush creep up his cheeks, but he looked back at her defiantly. As if he'd ever admit to that- no sain person would! 'And you call me arrogant,' he laughed, 'as if I'd be staring at you!'

Sirius snorted.

Next to Lily, Fi put a hand on her friends arm, turning her back to the match.

'Ignore him,' Fi whispered in her ear. 'Although I don't know why you would, honestly. Notice how that stupid hat brings out the green in his eyes?'

Lily hit her friend on the arm, but dismissed the argument, bringing her eyes back to the pitch. Just in time to see Diggory get thrown completely off his broom by a bludger. Behind her the marauder's laughed loudly, cheering and throwing their hands in the air with triumph. But this time, Lily ignored them.

Rain began to gently fall, goals were scored and penalties awarded.

It was a quick match. A fellow seventh year Slytherin seeker, Barty Crouch, caught the snitch just after an hour had passed. Another sorry defeat for Hufflefuff, and the marauder's (despite appearances) felt as guilty as ever in their horrid green adornments. The poor Fat Friar, a Hufflepuff ghost, was sobbing hysterically.

As the students began to leave, a mere quarter of them cheering happily, the marauder's watched as Lily and Fi made their way to the front of the stand. After a moment Diggory flew up on his broom to meet them, looking sad, disappointed and dejected.

Remus tried to pull James back, but the taller, stronger boy wouldn't budge.

'This,' Remus hissed in his ear, 'is not a good idea.'

James glared at Diggory, so pitiful in his dirty, grass stained robes, and felt an odd rage bubbling up inside of him.

Amos sensed someone watching him and turned, bringing an arm to rest on Lily's waist. His face brightened at the sight of James and he smiled. 'Hi there Potter!'

'Diggory,' James spat back. Around them the disappointed Hufflepuff's crowded to make their way out of the seating area, patting Diggory on the back or nodding to him in condolence.

Diggory wearily noticed the theme of the marauder's supporting colours and felt his stomach heave.

'Nice match,' James grinned nastily. 'I suppose you did your best though.'

'Leave it alone Potter,' Lily didn't like the look of this- James was obviously setting himself up for a fight with Diggory, one which Lily knew well enough to recognise from past experiences.

'What's this Diggory?' Sirius laughed. 'Need your girlfriend to fight for you?'

'What's this Potter?' Lily mimicked, her voice rising, and several of the Hufflepuff's had decided to stay and watch- this being much more exhilarating then the match had been. 'You wouldn't dare mutter a word without your boyfriends behind you!'

Sirius snarled and Remus turned around back to the pitch, wisely choosing not to watch his friends doomed fate, but James had already withdrawn his wand.

Little Peter Pettigrew hid out of the way under a chair, his pudgy form wedged tight between the plastic.

'Scourgify,' James yelled, and green soap bubbles poured out of Diggory's mouth, choking him. He fell to the floor, rolling back and forth in a mess of dirt, grass and bubbles.

Lily's face turned a deep plum colour and she brought out her own wand, aiming it directly at James. 'I'm warning you now, Potter…'

James sniggered, running a hand through his hair only to realise he was still wearing the stupid, green, slytherin hat. 'Do your worst, Lily,' James felt the heat in his voice and realised distantly that he had long ago lost his cool, 'I dare you…'

'Impedimenta,' Lily cried, but her aim was off and she hit Sirius instead, who fell to the floor howling.

'Petrificus Totalus,' James yelled back, always the first to defend a friend, and Lily dropped her wand, standing rigid as a board.

Oh no, James thought, his mind freezing over with the reality of what he'd just done. He had cursed Lily Evans. The love of his life. The bane of his existence.

But while James had paused for that moment Diggory rolled on his stomach, and in a soapy, muffled voice he had yelled 'Expelliarmus!'

James' wand flew from his grasp, bringing him back to the situation at hand, only to see his wand landing neatly in Professor McGonagall's outstretched hand.

Beside James, Sirius rose, his face horror struck with the scene before him.

McGonagall looked ready to kill.

'As if they'd ever throw out two of the best, most talented and beautiful students anyway,' he scoffed. 'Least of all the Heads. We could probably get away with murder here and no one would bat an eyelash!'

Now he wasn't so sure.

… … … … …

A/N: Right, from here on in we're charting into brand-spanking-new-never-read-before chapters! Thanks for the reviews, you guys rock, and keep them coming!

xxoo