Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto.
sasuke-kun, she thinks.
by Yuki
48. Sasuke-kun, she thinks, as she glances around the room.
He's not here.
Its okay, she tells herself, even though her inner thoughts say nothing in return. He's probably training, she includes, but she knows, as the realization proves moral, that it's an evident lie.
16. "—and to Haruno Sakura, congratulations onto making it into the ANBU team as a medical-nin!" Tsunade's voice resonates throughout the room loud and clear – like the shatter of glass through the course of her thoughts, regaining her attention once again to the face of their Hokage.
She smiles and nods in acknowledgement, hiding the disappointment that the person she wants to be there the most, is no where in sight and probably wouldn't come at all.
"Thank you," the cherry-haired young woman – turning eighteen-to-be in a few further months – exclaims with happiness, forcing her lips to curve up once again by all means of delight. "I'm very happy that all of you were able make it tonight and I'm…"
She feels the remaining words which would complete her statement become caught in her throat; suddenly the saliva and everything else in her mouth become crisp dry.
10. He – a man tall, slim, and well built; black eyes and black hair, pale flesh – stoicism cold, lips drawn to a thin line; brow furrowed but no creases; beautiful face and handsome features; she sees him walk in the room, stride silent and gaze forward, not looking at her but choosing a seat in the far back of the room; nodding to the others who saw him and she could tell that he was muttering something to Naruto who was grinning foolishly.
She sees him… - and she can't take her eyes off of him.
"Sakura…" She hears the fifth Hokage sitting beside her murmur, drawing her awareness back once to the silent people who're awaiting the conclusion of her speech.
The young kunoichi flushes and apologizes under her breath, finally drawing a beam once more as well as finishing her announcement with a "Thank you" and afterward raises her cup to completion. The people, the guests, the ninja's of Konoha, mimics her and they cheer, sending their blessings and congratulations before sipping the wine and the room becomes loud once again with talks and conversations. Bits of words and bits of statement and a few lines of gossip and many other things are heard but she doesn't heed it in the least, or eavesdrop on anything in particular; her eyes only moving toward where she last saw Him and only him.
Sasuke-kun.
92. He's talking to Naruto and he's talking to Shikamaru. Strange, because he hardly talks to anyone and now he's moving his gaze to Ino and Hinata. They look pretty tonight, was the thing she first notices and female traits consciously have her compare what she wore to theirs, feeling a sudden regret that she should've paid more mind in the attire she chose to garb in that night. Jealousy she thinks, builds up within her but she does nothing to push the negative feelings away. Instead, she sips more of her wine and sees that one of the five have disappeared; only Sasuke is talking to Hinata and Ino is kissing Shikamaru – cute is the word that comes up in the back of her head.
Hm, Naruto's missing.
"Sakura," someone says her name softly, gently, ever so lightly that she turns her head immediately around to see who it is.
"Naruto," she smiles.
So he came to congratulate her it seemed, was something that was echoed in her mind.
"I'm glad you made it onto the…"
"—team?" She finishes him off, her smile growing and she gestures him to sit down beside her.
She sneaks a final glance at Sasuke before her attention averts to the blonde and she decides that the only remedy for tonight is to stay with Naruto and talk to Naruto and have Naruto cheer her up. That's what he's for, after all, and she feels most comfortable around him than near anyone else, perhaps because he's a comrade and friend, or maybe because she's known him for quite some time since her childhood days as a member of Team 7. But maybe most of all, the reason most absurd but honestly true, is because he loves her and Sasuke doesn't.
53. it's easier to live when you know someone loves you. It heals your heart at the equivalent time the wound opens, like a stage that will never stop.
Open.
Heal.
Open.
Heal.
Open.
Heal.
That is her heart and that is the state wherever she places Naruto and Sasuke.
"Sakura… I was thinking…"
She lied.
Her eyes – she thinks that she is doing this secretly although she is mistaken – turns back to Sasuke, whom she catches gaze at them back but turns away quickly as soon as he realizes that he has been caught.
"Yes Naruto?"
46. He silences and smiles instead; her knowing that she has hurt him yet again out of the million times she's done so before and maybe even more.
Sakura sighs and rests her palm face down on his sturdy ones, rough from holding a shuriken on a daily basis and edgy because of the jutsus he performs on missions. Her eyes are some-what reassuring and she doesn't know what she's trying to hint him – tell him. Maybe she's doing this to comfort him, though she doubts that he'll think of it that way with that brain of his. However in the back of her mind, her inner self doesn't seem to care if he's going to misunderstand her actions and the real her – the outside her – doesn't really care either.
"Sakura-chan…"
His gaze is distressing, his frown grows deeper and she feels like she has done something wrong. She looks at his eyes for any indication of what he's feeling, because she knows that the most vulnerable place to look in a man are their eyes; which reveals everything and anything.
They look like cold rain, thundering and flashing on a stormy night with clouds hovering over a landscape of black and grey.
His hand underneath hers is cold, freezing cold.
60. "Naruto…"
"Ne, Sakura, you know that…"
"—Sasuke will never love me, never and ever?"
The storm is growing in Naruto's eyes, or perhaps it was her eyes reflecting through his. She's not sure, and she feels as if she wants the storm to suck her up.
"I think that…" She prepares herself for the interruption which was yet to come.
"I'll always—"
"—love you, right?"
He nods – both of them familiar with her habit of finishing off his sentences because he's obvious like that and she knows him very well to do so, as well as he lets her because he's always been cutting her off from her phrases.
They're in sync like that.
"But Naruto—," she begins.
"I know," he ends – smiles one last time and turns away, the gale in his eyes yet to calm.
They're in sync like that, more than in one way.
-
34. Sasuke-kun, she thinks, as she glances around the room.
He's not here.
Her vision is hazing with tones of black and green, misty blue to fiery red, all sorts of rainbows and all sorts of hues. She thinks that she might lose her eyesight but she knows that Tsunade will cure that, after all, even she can restore her visualization before it is too late and she becomes blind.
But the colors don't betray what she sees presently at this time and moment.
And what she sees is that Sasuke-kun isn't here, and he won't be here, because maybe he's training – she tells her inner self – despite the fact that, once again like a deja vu, she knows it's a lie.
"Sakura… you got yourself in a pretty messy situation," she hears the Hokage say and the pain from the arm the legendary sanin was holding upward was twanging with pain.
51. She wants to tell the Hokage of her tale, the story of ambush along with slippery mud and grey clouds hovering over a misty forest. She thinks that if she does tell however, the Hokage might think of her being very dim and self-centered on her behalf. For the reason that Sakura knows, very well, that Tsunade-sama would never have made such a blunder mistake like she had ended up doing – which was to her amazement – protect Sasuke when he was distracted and had his eyes too focused on the sharingans to whirl around and defend himself.
—Which resulted in a long gash down her right arm and a few broken bones located at her ribcage, along with a concussion to the head.
64. She would've lied and said that it was a stupid mistake, for her to do so, but instead she knows that it is more or less than a mistake she makes herself define the definite word, seeing that she has said the word "mistake" to herself a couple of times already and knows that it's more honest than lies and less lies than pain.
The throbbing from her arm, that is.
The Hokage orders her to stay in the infirmary for a few more days, but she becomes disappointed for the reason that it has only been a month or so since she has been promoted to the ANBU league.
Naruto shows up the next day with a bowl of to-go ramen.
-
The subsequent month of living as an ANBU medical-ninja became intricate used for her. Fact worthy of note was because of her wound which was still diminutive than healed – although it should've been restored to its perfect condition if not a week ago…
She shakes her head at the reminiscence and takes out her medical supplies slowly – her right hand twitching as the long laceration cut down her arm smolder and aches of movement which she complies while promptly taking her provisions out.
39. "Let me help you," she hears someone mutter from behind her, all five fingers and palm on her right hand going numb. "It was my fault you ended up like this."
She wants to say something, as her mouth opens but nothing comes out – speechlessness, her inner self says – when she sees pale hands exposing the materials from her bag. She knows who he is, from his scent, from his hand, from his voice, from his tone, and from his words.
Sakura thinks that she might still be sprung on Sasuke, however she doesn't care as the contemplation stimulates all over her body and she can't help but redden and grin while he aids her in putting everything out and rendered under the red orange sun with clear clouds and blue sky with a heavy atmosphere; apologizing once more for injuring her and walks away.
-
55. "Sakura," she hears a low tone call her given name.
Turning around, she arches her eyebrow at Naruto, whom she sees standing at the doorway of her kitchen.
"Yes?"
There's a moment of silence before he coughs, the cerulean eyes he possesses lowers to the concrete floorboard.
"Naruto?"
"Sasuke…"
The name makes her heart skip a beat.
"—he's in the emergency room."
-
12. Sasuke-kun, she thinks, as she glances around the room.
Where can he be?
She feels her heart ache, something she hasn't felt in a while. It's worry, maybe.
"Sakura-chan—"
"—he's not alright, is he?" she cuts Naruto off with a quick remark, her body pivoting to any doctor she sees passing by.
"Sasuke-kun…"
"He'll be—"
"I want to see him."
"Do you still love him?"
She searches for Tsunade, leaving Naruto behind with a storm left stirring.
-
It's an eccentric feeling to her when she sees him lying on the white mattress bed of a hospital room along with white wallpapers pasted on all fours and shuttles closed to limit the sunlight of the evening view.
She thinks that in his mission he was clumsy, foolish, and maybe the thought of being 'weak' crossed her mind before it banished away like a blaze dying out dry. She doesn't want to think of anything negative towards Sasuke, because seeing him lying on the hospital bed with white bandages and scars and stitches embedded on his beautiful pale skin and calm exterior face can hurt enough to rip her heart open and bleed over and over again.
Sasuke-kun, she thinks, but doesn't utter a word.
Why?
What did you do? How did you end up like this?
The kunai scar entrenched on her arm begins to twang with pain.
"Sakura-chan—"
She doesn't turn around when Naruto calls her, but instead walks up to the lying, pained, injured and weak Uchiha Sasuke.
"Sasuke-kun."
There's a gash down his arm, similar to hers, she finally notices.
Naruto coughs.
"He went to kill the ninja who hurt you."
-
99. The clock strikes midnight.
"Sasuke-kun," Sakura begins.
There's a moment when all she does is look at him, the moonlight shining through the window panel reflects its pale colors upon his sleeping expression.
"I…"
She wants to say a story, any story, but her time is running out as the midnight hour of the grandfather clock strikes. She has to leave before one, or the nurses will get mad. Even medical-ninja's have to follow hospital authorities. So all she does is stand there, right next to his bed stand and looks at him, trying to remember the young appearance of Uchiha Sasuke sixteen years ago. How young they were, stupid, deceived, and tricked. They were conceited, they were over-confident, and they were even immature to the limit of thinking that they could do anything. She tries to remember and compare him of twelve to him of eighteen.
In the end, she thinks that they are both the same.
And she still loves him, him of years ago and him of now.
She needs him.
But Naruto needs her, just the same as she needs Sasuke and she's not sure who he needs. Who he needs to survive, who he needs to protect, and who he needs to open his arms to. She thinks that he doesn't need anyone, but she could be wrong. He might have a storm like she does, like Naruto does, and even Kakashi. They all have their bad times, their good times, and even their trivial moments. All she knows is that, she needs Sasuke but she can't bear to hurt Naruto like she has done millions of times before.
His storm has grown, and soon it will blow everything out of sight.
She doesn't want that, because Naruto needs her, Naruto loves her, and Sasuke, Sasuke doesn't and won't ever and never.
Sakura looks at his pale face once again, sleeping deeply and resting in peace before the sun rises to another busy day of Konohagakure.
63. She walks up to him, her fingertips tracing the curve of his face to the smooth skin of his flesh. She feels the urge to brush her lips again his soft ones, feeling the shocking static which runs down her back and the butterflies flying in the pit of her stomach grow. She can already imagine; the image of her head bent down to touch his lips. She can imagine, and by the time she opens her eyes again – she's not sure when she had suddenly closed them – she meets another pair of cobalt, feels another pair of lips against her own, and the heavy breath which blows.
"Someone had to do it," she hears him say. "And I rather it'd be me than Naruto."
And for tonight, she doesn't think of who needs her, who she needs, and what the world needs.
67. She only sees her scar, his scar, his face, his lips, and the sky which dawns an orange-pinkish and red sun.
FIN.