So I Wait

Summary: He will always be waiting...

Disclaimer: No, I don't own this story! I used to, but I'm disowning it! Wait…you say you can't do that? Ah, (censored). Fine then! Nothing you see here is mine excepting the actual story itself. The characters and whatnot are not mine.

Warnings: It's one of those 'guess who's speaking' things. It can be shounen-ai or not, depends completely on how you look at it.

AN: Although the word he is italicized, it isn't meant to show contempt. Just so you know.

So I Wait

I'm still waiting, you know.

It's been two years. They keep saying that you're not coming back, and I should just get on with my life.

But I can't go on alone.

So I wait.

Sometimes I call for you, hoping that maybe someday, you'll answer.

After all, you did before, didn't you?

When I thought you would never return, you managed to come back…how is it so impossible that you will not this time?

So I wait.

They say I am being naïve, that dreaming won't help me.

But if in dreams, you are here, then so be it. I will keep dreaming, because you are always with me then.

Maybe it is too hard for some to understand…but at the least, he should.

He should, because he took you away in the first place. That first time, that first time that was so hard until you came back to me. You remember that?

Will you truly not return this time?

It just doesn't seem possible. You aren't the kind to just give up.

So I wait.

Losing someone is hard, they say, and so they wonder why I don't cry. He believes I do not grieve, and although I don't, it is not for the reasons he appears to believe.

I do not grieve because you are not gone.

You are not the kind to just disappear after so long.

So I wait.

Occasionally it gets boring, but I know it will be worth it when you return.

Sometimes they do bother to speak to me, asking me if I'm sure I'm alright. And when I say yes, they ignore me again. But that's okay; I was used to it…

After you, I wasn't used to it anymore, I suppose. Because now it hurts a little, although they were never, according to you, friends.

So I wait.

They come and go, as I watch them.

I am a sunbeam on the wall, always watching but unable to join in.

Because without the shadow, the light is nothing. You cannot see it, although it's always there.

The light and the shadow must always be one.

So I wait.

I wait here, on the park bench you used to go to so often. It's warm outside, and there are many people here. You would be enjoying yourself, sending something, or someone, to the Shadow Realm every so often. But for me, here alone, it's always cold.

I wish you were back already. I need you to help me understand why they keep lying to me, and asking stupid questions…like how you will not come back, and that's a good thing, and why am I not happy? After all, I'm free.

When they say this, all I can do is laugh inwardly. Why would I want to be free if it meant you were gone? Of course, I'll be happy…when you return to me.

I refuse to believe what they tell me, that you are gone for good this time. They said that the other times, and you came back to me then.

So I wait.

As they look at me pityingly before moving on, I smile secretly somewhere deep inside.

I know something they do not.

I know that you will be returning. Someday.

I'm sure of it.

And so…I wait.

OWARI

As usual, CC and kind reviews gratefully accepted, flames perused for CC and then ignored.