A/N: Well, normally I only do one-shots but someone asked for another chapter…and I couldn't resist ;; Warnings are the same as the first chapter and I've just realised I put no disclaimer on. Whoops…characters are not mine! Please don't sue?
Ron landed with a thump on the common room floor. Frantically, he scrambled to his feet, staring wildly at Harry, who had finished his essay and was lounging in an armchair. Harry's grin faded at the look on his friend's face.
"Ron? Mate, what's…" Ron let out a strangled gasp and pointed a finger at the purple journal on the table, as though it was about to leap up and eat him.
"You…Malfoy…you…argh!" Comprehension dawned and Harry suddenly looked very worried.
"Oh. Shit. Er, Ron?"
"Gah!" Ron seemed to be unable to speak coherently. Harry rose from the chair.
"Ron?" The red head recoiled and took a step backwards, mumbling under his breath.
"Er…look, Ron, I know you're upset but…" Ron found his voice.
"Upset? Upset!" Harry cringed. Ron was not taking this the way he had hoped. "I have just found out that you've been snogging Malfoy in random classrooms for Merlin knows how long, and I happen to have been forced to watch you snog and am now probably going to have nightmares about you snogging, and you're calling me upset!" A ringing silence followed the outburst. Then,
"What on earth is going on?" Hermione was standing at the base of the girl's staircase, hands on hips, scowling. "I'm trying to read and all I can hear is Ron having a tantrum! What is the matter now?" Harry made a face.
"Well, I think…Ron may have possibly found out about me and Malfoy?" Hermione's hand flew to her mouth.
"Oh."
"Yeah." Ron rounded on Hermione.
"You knew!"
"I guessed. Ron, listen…"
"Don't you dare tell me to listen! I have been traumatised beyond belief! Malfoy?" This last part was directed at Harry, who winced.
"Er…yeah…him…"
"Him? Is that it? That's all you have to say? Not only is my best friend gay, which is going to take some getting used to on it's own, but he's also making out with Malfoy! It just gets better!" Ron collapsed back onto the floor. Harry was still standing up and looking rather awkward and embarrassed. Hermione, on the other hand, was frowning sternly at Ron.
"Really, I can't believe you notice something before." Both boys stared at her, Ron in disbelief, Harry looking rather nervous.
"What do you mean 'notice something before'? What was I meant to notice?"
"Well, haven't you ever wondered where Harry goes when he stays out all night?" Harry shook his head vigorously and motioned for Hermione to shut up but it was too late. Ron's eyes bulged.
"OH MY GOD! What…what…what the hell were you doing to stay out so long?" Harry blushed and mumbled something while glaring formidably at Hermione. Who clearly still hadn't got the message.
"Really, Ron, are you that naïve? What do you think they were doing?" Ron gaped at her.
"But…how…how…they can't…they're both boys!" Hermione raised an eyebrow.
"Yes, well done…"
"So how would they do that? It's…it's not possible!" Harry groaned and sunk into a chair, burying his face into his hands to hide his burning cheeks. This was not happening…
"Are you saying you don't know how it's physically feasible for males to engage in carnal relationships with other males? Ron looked suspicious.
"What now?" Hermione sighed and rolled her eyes.
"You don't know how gay sex works?" Ron flinched visibly but shook how head.
"How can you not know?"
"Why should I know? I'm not gay!" Hermione's eyes glinted and a mischievous smirk lit her features.
"Right…" She then proceeded to explain it all to Ron in what Harry thought was far too much detail. By the end, Ron was a sickly yellow colour and Harry's face matched the crimson curtains. Hermione, however, smiled benignly and patted Ron on the head as though she had just told him a delightful bedtime story about bunnies dancing in Happy Land.
"Now that's done I'd quite like to get back to my book. I would suggest that you two get on with homework but you've probably got more important things to do…like cry or give Malfoy a blowjob." Ron spluttered. Hermione's wicked grin just grew wider. "Well, I guess I'll see you both tomorrow. Don't stay up too late!"
Ron stared at her in horror as she made her way up the staircase. He then slowly turned to look at Harry, who was watching the fire determinedly.
"Harry…do you really do all that stuff with Malfoy?" There was a pleading note in Ron's voice.
"Of course not, Ron." Ron whimpered. Harry shut his eyes. He was such a bad liar…
There was a very uncomfortable silence.
"Harry?" He didn't open his eyes.
"Yes?"
"What the hell is a blowjob?"
Woot, finally done! I'm sorry this took so long but I have mountains of work at school including biology coursework and chemistry coursework. And of course I can't update at school…because the system sucks.
Please review! If you have any idea how happy it makes me you will!