Some guy once said, "A man isn't poor if he can still laugh." While this is true in the spiritual sense I'd much rather have $20 in my pocket than a smile on my face when I'm hungry and don't feel like cooking.

The Shinobi's Guide to Television
By Kaori

"Say that again, I don't think I heard you correctly." Blinked Asuma. At least I hope I didn't hear her correctly.

The jounin instructors from teams 7, 8, and 10 were gathered in the Hokage's office to receive the details of their latest mission. Gai was not present as his team was currently out on a mission of their own.

"I said," Tsunade replied testily; she hated repeating herself. "that you and your students are going to temporarily replace some of the staff at the television station apparently there's been a series of… accidents and somebody needs to replace those people while the police run an investigation."

"And this is a B-class mission, why?" Kakashi asked, lazily.

"Because it invariably involves guard duty and anything involving guard duty gets ranked as class B no matter how stupid it is."

"Ah."

Later, with Team 7…

"No." Sasuke said curtly.

"But Sasuke," Sakura half-whined, half pleaded. "It's a B-class mission. You like B-class missions." And it'll be the first one that doesn't involve us almost getting killed!

"This can't be a B-class mission it's far too easy. Easy missions won't make me any stronger."

"For once I agree with Sasuke." Naruto piped up.

"Now, now." Placated Kakashi. "This is a good opportunity to test your adaptability. A ninja must be able to pass for an ordinary citizen after all."

"Konoha's television station is run by shinobi, Kakashi-sensei."

"Actually it's run by ninja academy dropouts so it's close enough."

"Greaat…" muttered Sasuke.

"Why do they need us to replace the staff anyway?" Naruto wondered aloud.

"It seems there have been…accidents and the studio figures if something happens to us they don't have to pay the insurance companies."

"We don't have life insurance." blinked Sakura.

"Exactly."

With Team 10…

"ALL RIGHT!" cheered Ino. Asuma had just given them the details of their mission. "Finally a chance to show the world what a beautiful and talented woman I am!"

"Like they'd put someone as loud as you on TV." Shikamaru mumbled. Ino smacked him upside the head. "And why am I being made to go? Technically I'm not part of this team anymore since I became a chuunin."

"Hokage-sama decided that someone responsible should help us keep the gennin focused."

"And she thought that Shikamaru was our best bet?" Ino was sceptical.

"Actually it's because she couldn't get a substitute to cover for Iruka at the Academy and she figures Shikamaru is too lazy to cause trouble."

"Ha!"

With Team 8…

"Woo hoo! We're going to be on TV!" Kiba was ecstatic.

"N..now Kiba-kun. Kurenai-sensei didn't exactly say that." Hinata stammered.

"You probably won't be doing any acting Kiba." Kurenai said. "If you're lucky, they may let you do some work on the set."

"You mean you don't know what they're going to have us doing?" asked Kiba.

"No, all we know is that we'll be replacing the dead and injured cast members."

"D…dead?" gasped Hinata, liking this mission even less.

"Apparently there have been…accidents." Shino raised an eyebrow at this.

Yes happy peoples the insanity is back! What kind of trouble could the gennin possibly get into at a television station? What are these "accidents"? Will Ino and Kiba get their wish to be on TV? Will Gai's Team be forced into this farce as well? Only time (and the author) will tell. Stay tuned!