Title: Sway
Paring: IkkaNemu
Rating:T for implied violence?
Disclaimer: I do not own Bleach. Kubo Tite does. Worship him.
All she wanted was someone to be there.
All she wanted was to be alone.
She contradicted herself. She needed him with a pain that was palpable. She avoided him like he was the poison that could kill her. She opened her mouth to speak. She shut her mouth and looked away. She reached for him—she pulled back.
She confused herself.
She thought of him. She tried not to think. She looked at him. She wanted to be blind. She wanted him. She wanted to be removed from herself. She did and did not want to be near him. She wanted to chew on her lip until her teeth broke through her skin, just so that her being would be consumed by a physical pain rather than an emotional one. Physical pain she could endure. She endured it every day. What she couldn't take was the hurt in his eyes when he glanced at her sidelong before looking away.
She wanted to know what he was thinking. She didn't want to know him well enough to know his thoughts. She wanted him to think of her. She didn't want even a glimmer of her to pass through his head. She wanted him to love her. She was terrified of the thought.
She loved him. She couldn't love anything.
This endless teetering was going to tear her apart. But if she were completely honest with herself, she'd realize that she never swayed. She knew how she felt.
…It was as plain as the bruises on her face.