Chapter 11: Lost and Delirious

Tatsumi woke one Monday morning to find he was, for once, not in any hurry to get to work, early or otherwise. He could not pull his thoughts away from Tsuzuki as he began to get ready. He had been so distant since the night of the party, had he pushed Tsuzuki away forever? The thought forced him to stop and collect himself, that couldn't be true, No Tsuzuki was just having a hard time handling that Muraki was back.

Then there was Watari; he who was totally smitten over Kaibra. He realized his tie was crooked and tried to focus for a moment. He needed to get through this and quick, or he could make vital errors during the course of his work day. He managed to finish getting dressed without anymore incident; and before he knew it, it was business as usual.

Watari woke slowly stretching out an ache in his back, when he once again relaxed he felt a warm weight drape over his chest. He opened his eyes and meet a mass of what looked like liquid sliver. It took him a moment to understand what he was seeing. He reached for his glasses and then was able to focus on Kaibra's face.

"Good morning." She said softly, with the smallest smile.

"Hello." this is the point at which Watari realized he could see the soft curve of her shoulder above the sheet, his memories of the night previous came flooding back to him.

He had probably had too much saki but it was nothing a hot shower and good nights rest wouldn't take care of. Just as he was about to get up he heard a knock on the door. 'Who could that be?' he wondered vaguely as he went to the door. And there she was, a vision of loveliness, Kaibra.

"Hello, I hope I am not bothering you." She had said, that was all the needed to be said.

He couldn't remember much more, other than that it was amazing and he didn't want to go to work. Never the less he sat up tousling his hair a bit, wondering if he was going to have time to shower. He decided he would have time if he were to hurry.

"I'm sorry, but I have to get ready to go. Tatsumi will notice if I am late. Especially since we have so much going to right now." She gave him a smile,and told him to go.

"I'll be fine." He took her beauty in once more before he rushed off to his shower, when he came out she was gone.

The sky outside was the copper that comes with the sunset. Two lost winter butterflies struggled at the glass longing to come in. What did they know, it isn't warm in here, it is sterile and soulless, and there is no reason to stay here. I'm not even human!

Tsuzuki woke up very suddenly, his breath caught in his chest. That was what had started all of this, that he wasn't human. That was why Muraki had wanted him, because he different, because he couldn't die. He looked around and found he was alone, as always. He had to get out of here, he couldn't breath he needed air.

He dressed quickly and left the house without incident. Once he was outside, he had no idea where else to go, so he headed to the Ministry.

Tatsumi sat at his desk working furiously trying to stay focused. Already having drank a full pot of coffee he was wired for the day. Trying once again not to let his thoughts wander he stood and went to look out of the window. As he set his eyes on the everlasting cherry blossoms he heard a knock at his door.

"Mr Tatsumi, I am sorry to bother you;" Hisoka said as he closed the door behind him. " but I really need to talk to someone, it's Tsuzuki."

"What is on your mind Kourasaki?" He asked returning to his chair.

"He's been acting so strangely, and he doesn't stay home through the night. I know he doesn't think I know, but he's been meeting with Muraki."

"How do you know this?"

"I went to check on him one night, I couldn't sleep. And when I tried to open his door, I fell into his spirit trace." Tatsumi could see him losing it now, but he didn't have time to slow him down before he went on. "I saw him with Muraki. We have to do something."

"Kourasaki, listen to me, I will talk to him today, I'm sure there a simple explanation for what you saw. Perhaps it was a nightmare."

But I'm trying to tell you, he hasn't stayed home for nearly a week. He leaves in the middle of the night and doesn't come back, haven't you noticed, he's been showing up early to work lately?"

"Yes, that is very unlike Tsuzuki. But I promise I will talk to him." Hisoka nodded and went to leave as he opened the door he saw Tsuzuki there.

"I hear everything." He said somehow managing to look hurt and relieved at the same time.

"Tsuzuki I..."

"Perhaps it would be best if we all talked in private." Tatsumi said holding the door back so they could get in.

"Where have you been going Tsuzuki?" Hisoka asked as the door closed behind them. Tatsumi and Tsuzuki could both see how hard he was trying to keep voice even. Tsuzuki was proud of him, but right now also very afraid of him.

"Hisoka, it's complex."

"Why won't you talk to me Tsuzuki? Have I not proven myself worthy to you, Have I not always been there for you, no matter what is was?" Tsuzuki looked at him he was shaking in his anger, and for once Tsuzuki could feel perfectly all of his rage and his hurt.

"Hisoka, I'm so sorry, I never wanted this. But I feel so guilty, I'm so ashamed of this." He said pulling Hisoka into his arms and sobbing uncontrollably.

"Tsuzuki, please slow down. What are you talking about?" Tatsumi asked coming closer, trying to make some sense to what was happening. Tsuzuki looked up at him, tears still sliding down his face.

"You don't know!" He said in a fragile tear choked voice, whipping the tears away now supporting his own weight again.

"What don't we know Tsuzuki?" Tatsumi asked coming closer. Tsuzuki sighed, he couldn't ignore it any longer. He should have told them right away.

"Tatsumi you don't understand, I can't just not go to him. Don't you see as long as I stay with him, he won't kill any more people. If I stop going it will be like I killed those people myself." It had been nearly two hours and they were all exhausted. And no matter what they thought of, they couldn't find a way to help Tsuzuki. But what Tsuzuki was afraid to admit was that some part of him didn't want to be helped.

"Why don't we talk to the twins and see if they have any leverage over him?" Hisoka said from the door.

"Uh, Tatsumi, is there any way we can keep this quiet?" Tsuzuki asked looking at the floor.

"Of course Tsuzuki, this doesn't have to leave this room."