AN: Angst, Post HBP, Snape reflects over his life and what he's done. Its short so take the time to read it!

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It is a wizard's responsibility to do what is best for his fellow wizards. I have been trying to do that for nearly twenty years now. If only I knew what was best, maybe my job would come a little easier.

I sigh and slide off my lumpy hotel bed in muggle London, padding softly out the sliding door onto the balcony. I love the view from the balcony. As I lean over the wooden railing, the sun is only just rising, and the reddish tint in the sky burns a beautiful picture into my mind.

I didn't want to be put into this position. The only man I was ever able to consider a father was killed just three months ago - by me. It was a great tragedy and many people were devastated, yet I don't think any were more devastated than I. Now I am considered a traitor with nowhere else to turn, but to the evil side I've been fighting against for so many years. I didn't want to kill him, but this is war; I had no choice.

As the sun rays strike and warm my face, I gaze down at the busy streets of the capital city from my fourth story window. I am wrapped in my wizarding robes, and a few passersby stop and stare for a few moments before going back to their business. Draco will knock on my door any minute now, and he will want to discuss the Dark Lord's most recent plans with me.

In those three months since I have left Hogwarts, my status has gone from greasy git to murderous traitor. Everyday I battle aurors on my tail, try to keep Draco in line, and continue to spy for Voldemort, while I attempt to keep my dignity and do what is best for everyone, and I am still losing.

The smell of exhaust and noise of a busy city are invading my senses, but to me it is the most beautiful day I have experienced in a long time. An owl flies past me into the room and drops a letter on my bed, but I ignore it. I sigh again. If only I knew what to do or what is right. The only person who can help me to understand is dead now. If only. I just want to do what is best for everybody, so I take a step forward, and I jump.

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AN: Erm, this is actually a variant on a paper I did for English class so if you've heard this story in your English class before you know who I am. Otherwise, I thought it fit Severus rather well. I was thinking of a couple different ways I could continue this but I'm just leaving it one-shot for now. If I do continue thought, it'd be SS/HG. Tell me what you think!