That Time of Month
I got bored this afternoon....no homework. Plus I've been wanting to write my first Voyager fan fic. Except, it came out as this. Try not to tell me it sucks TOO badly. lol

Captain Kathryn Janeway, in an effort to boost crew morale, instructed Tom Paris to land Voyager on the next M-Class planet. After giving the instruction, she retreated to her quarters to clean up a little bit because she had been on the Bridge all day and was looking quite horrible. Upon landing, the natives begin shooting the starship with primitive weapons known as guns with bullets. The Captain was at this time brushing her teeth.

She heard a quiet panging outside her viewport and tapped her combadge.

"Jay-fweigh do bidge, rephort!"

Commander Chakotay replied: "Um..... could you please repeat that."

Janeway spit, with the com link still open, and slowly repeated what she said: "Jane-way to Brid-juh. Re-PORT!!!!!!!!!!!!"

This time Tuvok answered: "Captain, it appears that the inhabitants of this planet are not welcoming us as we would have hoped. They appear to be firing on us with ancient weapons known as 'guns'"

Janeway: "Oh my God! They have weapons! Shields to full. I'm on my way."

Tuvok: "I fail to see the logic in that. Putting the shields to full would be illogical, Captain, Putting the shields up at all would even be illogical. This ship is able to withstand an illogical amount of illogical --"

Janeway: "Did you not just hear me? I said 'Shields to full.' Is the whole galaxy against me? Do I have to remind you that it is that time of month? I don't need this! DAMN YOU AND YOUR LOGIC!!!"

Paris: Maybe you should go see the Doc.

Janeway: (kinda mimicky) "Oh yeah, why hadn't I thought of that? It's no wonder I had to --" (Janeway was walking down a corridor now)

Tuvok: "Captain, they are still firing. As I said before, Shields at maximum would be useless. If you absolutely must have shields on, 1% would be more than enough to hold them off."

Janeway: "I'm stepping onto the turbolift now, when I get to the Bridge, I better see those shields at 100% Do I make myself clear?"

Seconds later Janeway appeared on the Bridge and went directly to Tactical where she found that the shields were at just 1%

Janeway: "Lieutenent Commander Tuvok, I hereby strip you of your duties aboard this starship. Report to the brig immediately. Do not pass go. Do not collect 200 dollars."

Tuvok: "*Bleep* you!"

Janeway: "Red alert. I'm taking over at --"

Seven of Nine: "Captain, I really think you were too....harsh to --"

Janeway: "SHUT UP!!!!!!!!! You go to the brig too! Hell," She taps her combadge "All hands, this is the Captain. Due to the galaxy being against me, you are all to report to the brig. That is all."

Once everyone vacated the bridge except for her, she called for Red Alert and instructed the computer to take the ship 3 kilometers into the atmosphere . Then she told the computer to ready a full spread of photon torpedoes and sent a message to all the people firing at her ship. "This will teach you to mess with me during THIS time of month!" and fired the torpedoes.

A week later, the Captain again called all hands --or was it just the brig now? -- and told them that they may all go back to work, as long as no one pisses her off again. Because if they did, she would lock them all out of their quarters and block site-to-site transport for all their stuff so they didn't have anything anymore.

The End.

Yeah, I know, it's stupid....but I was brushing my teeth getting ready for school today and was thinking about having Janeway go crazy with the shields when people fired on her ship with primitave weapons. I was going to have where if the shields were at maximum, they'd rebound back and kill all the people, but I like what I just did here better.