Melliea suggested this, but it's been in my head, along with my first fic, for a long, long time. I don't own the Outsiders, only Cinnamon. For those of you unfamiliar with Miss Cinnamon Marie, check out "Going Home Again" at http/ always, reviews, suggestions and corrections are welcome, but bear in mind that this is Cinnamon's POV, and she's as stubborn as her brothers.

Chapter 1

I pushed myself back and forth on the old swing, feeling the rhythm, liking the cadence. I didn't think I'd ever be too old to love the swings. I loved the park, even though it was run down and all the equipment was faded and rusty. When I was a little girl, I played here for hours and hours. I felt safe here. I suppose it wasn't exactly safe; nothing anywhere really is anymore, but it was smack in the middle of our turf and it was as secure as anywhere else in our rundown neighborhood.

It was late fall, starting to get chilly. I pushed myself to my feet and headed for home. My brothers Soda and Darry would be home from work soon and Darry'd fuss if I wasn't in. He was only 20, and he'd always acted older than his age, but since our parents died and he became our guardian, he'd grown cold and stern. I couldn't remember the last time I'd seen him smile. Before, he was enough older than me – I'm 15½ – that we didn't pay much attention to each other, but now he was all in my business and yelling all the time. I was starting to be a little afraid of him, to tell you the truth.

I turned onto the block and saw the rest of the gang coming the other way. There were Darry and our brother Soda, who was almost 17, my younger brother Ponyboy, who was 14, Soda's best friend Steve Randle and Keith Mathews, whom we called Two-Bit because he always had to have the last word. Dally was there, too. Dallas had been in jail. I'd lost track of what for this time and when he'd be out. And Johnny. Johnny Cade, who was smaller than his age and timider than a church mouse from getting walloped all the time by his old man. Johnny was the nicest boy I knew.

I met them on the sidewalk in front of our house.

"You just getting home?" Darry asked, his eyes narrowing.

I ignored him, looking at Ponyboy instead. Soda had a hand on his shoulder and there was blood on Pony's face. "What happened?" I asked.

"Kid got jumped," Two-Bit answered.

I gasped and reached out for him.

"I'm all right, Cinnamon, don't fuss," he said, and I put my hand down. Later, I'd clean him up and sneak a bandage on it, but for now, he wanted to look tuff. I suppose that's hard with a big sister.

"How'd that happen?" I asked.

"I was comin' home from the movies," Pony said quietly. "I didn't think …"

"You don't ever think," Darry broke in, and I tuned him out, turning to Dally. "When'd you get out?" I asked.

"Earlier this week. Good behavior," he said, blowing a smoke ring. That made me laugh. The idea of Dallas Winston being the warden's pet was pretty amusing.

"Something funny?" Darry asked impatiently.

"No," I said.

Dally ground his cigarette out. "I'm walking over to the Nightly Double tomorrow night," he said. "Anybody want to come and hunt some action?"

"Me and Soda are picking up Evie and Sandy for the game," Steve said. He looked pointedly at Ponyboy. Steve hates it when Soda asks Pony or me to pal around with them. He acts like he's jealous or something. Mostly, I say no, unless I'm going that way anyway. I can't stand Steve, but I don't say too much about it, because he's Soda's best friend and I love my brother.

"Me and Pony'll come," Johnny said. "Cinny? You want to?" He looked at me shyly.

"Sure, I'll go," I said. I'd known Johnny my whole life, just like the rest of the boys, and he had always seemed like an extra brother. Until recently. He liked me, too, I knew, though neither of us had really said anything. That's okay. We got time.

"Awwww," Two-Bit pouted, "I thought I could get this pretty girl to go with me."

"What makes you think I'd go out with a thieving hoodlum like you?" I asked. Two-Bit pretended to look crushed.

Darry cleared his throat.

"Glory," I said, annoyed, "Darry, can me and Pony go to the movies tomorrow night?"

"Watch your tone," he snapped. "And since it ain't a school night, yes, I suppose you can."

The gang made their goodbyes and the four of us went into the house. I started dinner, meatloaf, peas and potatoes. My meatloaf wasn't quite as good as my mother's had been, but it was still passable. After, Soda did the dishes and I settled down to do homework. First, though, I pulled Ponyboy into the bathroom and made him sit on the edge of the tub while I cleaned off his cut and put a bandage on it.

"Aw, don't do that, Cinny, I'll look stupid," he complained.

"If it gets infected your face will fall off and then who'll look stupid?" I said. He rolled his eyes at me but let the bandage be.

Pony vanished into his and Soda's room with a book. I tried to do geometry but it didn't make much sense. I thought about asking Darry for help. He'd been pretty good in school, but he was so impatient he'd be fussing at me the whole time. I sighed and closed the book. Maybe Mrs. Mayron, my teacher, could help me.

Soda wandered into the kitchen and checked the fridge for chocolate cake, which is what the boys have for breakfast most days. Me, I usually can't eat until noon.

"Pony okay?" I asked him.

"Yeah, I think so. He was just a little spooked." He sat down at the table with me. "But he was just walkin', Cinny, just mindin' his own business. Things are getting bad. Don't walk alone, okay? If you get stuck, call the station, I'll come after you." Soda had quit school this year and worked full-time, with Steve, at the DX station.

"Okay." I hated being a greaser – not because I was ashamed, but because the whole rivalry between the greasers and the Socs, those stupid south-side socials, was pointless. They had money and thought they were better than us. We were tough and thought we were better than them. The truth was, we were all struggling to get along. "Good glory, don't y'all pee the same?" my mother used to say. She was right. I missed her.

"I'll see you in the morning, Cinny-spice."

"'Night, Soda."

A minute later I heard him hollering at Ponyboy to shut out the light. They'd been sleeping together for months, since shortly after Mom and Dad died, because Ponyboy was having nightmares. He'd woken up every night, for weeks and weeks, screaming bloody murder. Soda's presence seemed to help. I was ready to join them, but Darry wouldn't let me. He said it wasn't proper, because I'm a girl. But when he finds me curled up next to Soda, or in a quilt at the foot of the bed, he never says a word. He just wakes me up for school and sends me on my way, with this little sad look on his face.