Disclaimer: Standard one--I own nothing but my fantasies! Special mention to GL and all associated authors in the SW universe, particularly R.A. Salvatore--you own it all!

Author's Notes: A new fic! I've always been bothered by the lack of story given to the immediate post-Geonosis period, particularly the fallout of Anakin losing his arm, and how that might have affected him, Obi-Wan, and their relationship. Anakin just shows up in the Clone Wars novels fully integrated with his arm, seeming to have no issues whatsoever. And more curious, Obi-Wan never seems to mention it at all. But what happened in between?

Since this is AU, I have taken some liberties, most notably, that Anakin and Padme are just close friends, like siblings, and she has been his confidant for years. The rating is for slash in future chapters.

As another wonderfully slashy Obi-Wan/Anakin author, Alchemy Dream, says, reviews are love. Let me know if this strikes a chord with you--it will be much appreciated!

And may I never forget to thank my muse and awesomely talented beta, XtinethePirate. Verb tenses be thrice-damned and Sith-cursed! Much love to you for all your hard work and patience!

Do What You Have to Do


Chapter 1: Do What You Have to Do

I'm ever swiftly moving trying to escape this desire, the yearning to be near you,
I do what I have to do…

--Sarah McLachlan, Do What You Have to Do

It had been two weeks, two endless weeks of darkness, and still he had not awakened. A week had been spent in bacta, healing the myriad of cuts, scrapes, and bruises that had littered his once strong, tanned body and youthful, handsome face. Removed from the bacta, it was hoped he would recover quickly, but the severity of his injuries proved to be well-beyond the capabilities of the Nubian healers; he would need a Jedi Healer now. His body already in shock, the Sith lightning had easily overloaded his delicate connection to the Force, effectively barring his return to consciousness.

Anakin Skywalker was in a Force-induced coma.

The Jedi Council had received the urgent message from Senator Amidala on Naboo—Anakin was no longer responding to the treatments, and she was needed back at the Senate for an important vote. The Council had told her they would send Healer Luminara Unduli to care for Anakin in her stead. What Padme did not know was that Obi-Wan Kenobi, Anakin's Master, would accompany Master Unduli. If Padme had known, she would never have planned to return to Coruscant.

Her fury that day on Geonosis had been palpable; it roared as much through the dank hangar as it did through the Force, directed solely at one man.

"What the blazes were you thinking, Obi-Wan? He is your Padawan! Your friend! You brought him in there to face a Sith Lord? How could you let this happen to him?" she shrieked, as they both watched Anakin being carried away on a stretcher, tubes and bacta patches adorning the length of his damaged body.

She stabbed a hard finger into his chest, glaring with all of her regal might. "I told you, I told you to get some help!"

"Padme, I—" He faltered, the words thick on his tongue, his thoughts cloudy. What had happened?

"No! Don't even try! He was your responsibility, Obi-Wan. He looks up to you, he admires you! He believes everything you tell him he is, good or bad!"

"Padme, please. He—Anakin—he ran in before I could—I tried to—but I couldn't—" He closed his eyes, remembering now. Yes…He swayed a bit, his thigh burning and unsteady. Slowly, he opened his eyes, only to find Padme's accusing stare that bore into him.

"Don't you dare blame this on him! You told him the two of you could handle this! You know how he is, Obi-Wan! You know he wanted to prove himself to you, to show you he is worthy of that damn prophecy!" She moved closer, so that he had no choice but to look her in the eyes. "Do you have any idea how hard it has been for him to be the 'Chosen One'? To live up to that expectation? To be your Padawan? This is yourfault, Obi-Wan!"

Her hands were shaking as tears ran down her cheeks.

"Padme, I never thought—" He never thought Anakin could lose to Dooku. He had always believed that when Anakin's time came, he would pass whatever trial the Force put before him. He had thought his training of Anakin would be good enough. He had been wrong. So wrong.

Obi-Wan tried to focus on Padme, but her voice was simultaneously exploding in his head as it moved farther away. Why did his shoulder feel like a thousand suns were going supernova in it?

She backed up, giving him a critical look, her voice dripping with disgust. "No, you never have, have you? Never thought about what it is like to be him. To leave his mother behind in slavery, just to be one of you Jedi! Just to be with you Obi-Wan."

"I don't know what you want me to say, Padme. I did not think this would happen, could happen. I'm sor-sorry." He could not stand the fires of judgment in her eyes, it was too much for him now. She was right; it was all his fault. He might as well have removed Anakin's arm himself, for all of the help he had been.

Obi-Wan hung his head down, physically and emotionally beaten. He blinked a few times as his vision blurred.

"You're sorry? Tell that to Ani when he wakes up and finds he's lost his arm! When he counts the scars! When he realizes he will never be the same! When he cries, believing he's failed you, just like he thinks he failed his mother!"

"I will take full respon—" Of course he would. He would do what he had to do, he always did.

"No. You will do nothingof the sort." Her voice dropped an octave and became as icy as a Hothan gale. "You will not go near him. I've spoken to Master Yoda, and I'm taking Anakin to Naboo to heal. He loves the lake country, and he'll be away from this war, away from the Jedi, but most of all, away from you. I will take care of him now, Obi-Wan. You needn't be troubled by the Padawan you never wanted."

The words stung more than any of Dooku's vicious taunts. "Never wanted? That is not true. You cannot believe that, Padme. I would have no other Padawan than Anakin!" His voice wavered under the assault, as tears he did not quite understand pricked the corners of his eyes.

"Save your version of the truth for someone else, Obi-Wan. I was there. I remember. I know how cold you were to him—he was just a boy, and he was so alone. Don't pretend that you wanted him—don't insult him and don't insult me with your lies." She turned toward the transport that carried Anakin. "Stay away, Obi-Wan. He does not need you. Just stay away."

The toll of the battle, Padme's words, and the red, throbbing sabre wounds to his shoulder and thigh all coalesced into a sweet, merciful, blackness, as Obi-Wan slumped to the hangar deck.

His hands went to his eyes, trying to rub away the painful memory, sighing as he crossed his arms, hugging his cloak closer. Obi-Wan was not looking forward to seeing Padme again. He could only hope that she would now understand why he had to be with Anakin. Anakin was his Padawan, his responsibility. If not for his own serious injuries, Obi-Wan would never have left Anakin's bedside. It had taken all of his considerable negotiation skills to persuade Luminara to release him from the Healer's Ward to make this journey. Force, he needed to be with Anakin, and he knew Anakin needed him—the gnawing absence, the void in their bond, told him as much.

The light cruiser sped through the darkness of space, on its way to Naboo. The Force was cruel that way, bringing the past into the present to make the future. Naboo was where it had all begun, where Obi-Wan Kenobi's life had become inextricably entwined with Anakin Skywalker's. Where his Master Qui-Gon had died, and he, Obi-Wan, had become Anakin's Master. Where Padawan Kenobi had faced a Sith Lord and won.

Obi-Wan held his head in his hands, the ability to forget frustratingly elusive. How had it all gone so wrong? My arrogance! We both nearly died, and Anakin…oh Anakin! What a price you have paid, because of my failings!

He had yelled at Padme so confidently when she wanted them to get some help. His words ran through his head in an endless loop, maliciously mocking him.

"No, there's no time! Anakin and I can handle this!"

Only he and Anakin had not handled it at all. It had handled them, with disastrous results. How could he have been so overconfident and so naïve?

They were chasing a Sith Lord. While Anakin was still a Padawan, he was no ordinary Jedi. He was a cunning warrior, with his skills, his command of the Force and his swordsmanship already legendary. Certainly the Sith Killer and the Chosen One would make quick work of Dooku and end the war before it really started.

Oh, the hubris.

He hadn't expected that Dooku, an ex-Jedi, would be as adept in the dark arts as he was in the Jedi way. He hadn't expected Dooku's mere words to seep into the deepest corners of fear in Obi-Wan's mind and shred his confidence. He hadn't expected that an old man with such an air of gentility could gather so much dark energy and malice around him and focus it into his murderous, merciless blade.

He should have known better.

The lapses in his training of Anakin had never been so evident as they were in that crucible of Geonosis. Anakin rushed in to fight, ready to avenge the deaths of so many friends, and let his emotions take control of him. All Obi-Wan had time to say was "No Anakin, no!" With an indifferent shrug, Dooku seized Anakin with a shock of blue Force-lightning that hurled him into a rock wall, leaving Anakin's clothes smoking from the contact.

With all the confidence of the only living Jedi to have slain a Sith Lord, Obi-Wan deliberately and aggressively attacked Dooku, only to be repeatedly beaten back. The verbal taunts were at first easy to ignore, but then began to eat away into his soul, distracting him when he most needed his concentration. The sabre attacks came harder, faster, until in a feint, Dooku cut into both Obi-Wan's shoulder and thigh, dropping him to the floor.

Just as Dooku's crimson blade started to crash down in its death blow, a vivid emerald blade suddenly appeared just above Obi-Wan's face, blocking its descent. "I'm a slow learner," he heard his Padawan boast sarcastically. In a move they had never practiced, Obi-Wan tossed his blade to Anakin, who led Dooku away from Obi-Wan, spinning and whirling the green and blue blades in a brilliant display of sabre techniques. But soon Anakin was struggling with these new maneuvers, barely utilizing the second blade. It was an unnecessary distraction that wasted Anakin's already depleted energy. Obi-Wan could sense his Padawan's confidence slipping, could see it as the left blade dipped. Dooku pounced and knocked it from his hand.

Obi-Wan was too weak to move, too clouded by pain to gather the Force to him to do anything—Force-throw objects at Dooku, disable the ship, or even call for help. He was helpless, and he could feel, could see, that Anakin desperately needed his help.

Anakin was visibly weakening, stumbling through his footwork, slicing haphazardly through the air. He cut through the air with a backhanded swing, arcing up too slowly, missing the Sith's blade completely, when Dooku quickly reversed, slicing through leather, flesh, and bone. With a Force-shove, Anakin came flying back to slam into Obi-Wan's prone form, already unconscious from the shock.

Obi-Wan did not remember much after that, until he heard Padme's cry and saw the arrival of several Jedi and clone troopers. Only then did he look down to see what had become of his Padawan. Anakin was bruised, bloodied, his robes blackened with soot, a cauterized stump where his right forearm once was.

The memory still sickened his stomach.

Oh Anakin, I'm so sorry. He stifled a choked sob as he pressed the heels of his hands to his eyes, trying to stem the flow of emotion that begged for release.

He felt a hand on his shoulder.

"Obi-Wan. Are you alright? Is there anything I can do for you?"

He pressed his eyes once more, willing the Force to help calm him, then looked up into the face of Luminara Unduli, a long time friend.

"Ahh, Luminara. No, thank you, I'm fine," he said with a half-hearted smile, then turned to look out at the stars streaking by.

"I brought you some tea; I thought you might like some to help you relax." She handed him a steaming cup, which he accepted with a perfunctory smile, then set it on the table, untouched.

She frowned slightly as she sat down at the table. "Obi-Wan, I know it is not in your nature to acknowledge your pain, but you must be mindful of your own wounds. They are still healing and will require further treatment—do not neglect yourself on Anakin's behalf. An infection could seriously compromise your ability to handle a sabre effectively again. Do you understand?"

Maybe that would be fair. After all, I've seriously compromised Anakin's ability to effectively handle a lightsabre. Ever again.

"Yes, Luminara. Regular cleansing, bacta patches. I understand completely," he answered absently.

She touched his sleeve in an attempt to get his attention. "I need you to understand, Obi-Wan, that I will do all that I can to help Anakin come back. I've spoken with the healers on Naboo and understand the extent of his physical injuries. Anakin is still unconscious because the Sith-lightning has, in a sense, blinded him within the Force. He is lost, and he will need help getting back. You are very worried for him," she said, looking at his stoic expression carefully.

"Yes, of course. He is my Padawan," he replied, trying without much success to sound detached, like the Master he should be, not the quivering youngling he felt like.

Luminara gently took one of his hands, lightly stroking the palm. "Obi-Wan, you need not be brave for me. I have known you for a long time and know the burden you carry in your heart." She tilted her head, a soft smile on her face. "It is difficult for any Master to feel he has failed his Padawan."

He turned to listen, relaxing in the softness of her touch, the gentleness of her voice.

"It is harder when his Padawan is injured." She squeezed his hand, leaning forward a little, her wide-set blue eyes searching his. "But I suspect it is agony when you have love in your heart for him," she said quietly.

Obi-Wan startled, pulling his hand away from his old friend. "I don't know what you are referring to, Luminara. Anakin is my Padawan, it is my responsibility to care for him, yes. But Jedi do not form attachments."

She sighed. "My friend, I know the Code. But I know you, too. You forget, I was your Healer when you returned from Geonosis. You had collapsed in that hangar and became delirious from the pain and shock. You probably do not recall this, but you cried out for Anakin while I treated your wounds, asking him to forgive you."

His eyes widened in shock and then closed in shame at his lack of control, his inability to focus his mind against the pain that day. I should have been stronger.

"Obi-Wan, I do not judge you for the bond you have with Anakin. The Jedi way is not an easy path and can be isolating; it is the natural state of beings to crave love and companionship. Does he know how you feel?"

Obi-Wan avoided her gaze. Surely she was mistaken. Anakin is my Padawan. Jedi do not form attachments. I am his Master. That is all there is to it.

He turned back to Luminara and gave her a sad smile. "There is nothing for him to know. I am his Master, he is my Padawan, and I failed him, Luminara. That is all the truth there is. Because of my arrogance, he still lies there, eyes unopened. I can feel through the Force that he needs me, but I don't know what to do. Tell me, what can I do?" he begged her, desperate for an answer.

The sensor went off alerting them to their impending arrival at Naboo. Luminara stood up and placed a hand on Obi-Wan's shoulder. "You will know, Obi-Wan. When it is time, you will know."

As the cruiser approached Theed, Obi-Wan looked away, willing the memories to stay buried. He thought he would never have to come back here, would never have to see this Sith-cursed capital of Naboo where he'd had to watch his Master die. Qui-Gon, how I wish you were still here. You would never have failed Anakin as I have.

The cruiser left Theed behind as it sped over green rolling hills and lush open plains, following a wide meandering river. The mouth of the river opened into a giant pool of impossibly calm water that reflected the intense azure color of the sky and the surrounding white-tipped mountains. Obi-Wan had never been to the lake country of Naboo, but he immediately recognized why Padme had brought Anakin here. Of course he would love this. It is the complete antithesis of Tatooine: soft, blue, fertile and wet.

Coordinates locked in, the cruiser's speed slowed as a large country estate came into view, tucked between two mountains and perched on the edge of the lake. Obi-Wan's heart skipped a beat when he first felt it.

Anakin…

He could feel the Force-signature of his Padawan through the bond that connected their minds, and he let out a deep breath he hadn't known he'd been holding. His eyes closed as he savored the contact he had missed so much over the last two weeks.

(Anakin, I'm here.)