Disclaimer: I don't own anything except this doctored photo of me and Legolas' wedding... Pathetic? You bet I am!

A/N: This is NOT, I repeat NOT a Mary-Sue! If it was, which it is NOT, I would say so. It's written for any feuding siblings out there. Yeah, there's arguing, fighting, and insults. No, they never get along.

And for the record, I HAVE read LOTR and The Silmarillion!

Chapter 1-The first chapter always sucks

"Honestly, Becky! Try to control yourself next time!" my mom ranted on. I sighed and continued to clean the lick marks off the tv. I may be 17, but I seriously act no more then 12. You know the girl in your school that obsesses over fictional characters and constantly has that half daydreaming, half crazed look? Yeah, that's me.

I'm your average girl, but with a morbid obsession with The Lord of the Rings, especially Legolas. I've read everything from the LOTR trilogy to The Unfinished Tales to the smuttiest Mary-Sues imaginable. I've even self-diagnosed myself with FIG, Fanatically Insane Girlism. Yes, I even made up a disease for my 'way of living'.

Now, where was I? Oh yeah, cleaning the tv. If you haven't guessed by now, I was watching The Return of the King when I licked the screen. The part where Legolas is shown for the last time. Insert a sniff and a swoon. "Becky, really," my mom continued. "You need to learn to behave. How many times have you licked that screen? What is it, 21?"

Actually, it was 34, but she didn't need to know that. "But mom," I argued, "it's wasn't my fault! It's Peter Jackson's, Orlando Bloom's, and a handful of make-up artists'!" I've blamed hormones enough times to know that excuse won't work.

My mom looked annoyed from my answer. Crap. "And I suppose they possessed you to lick the television screen?"

I opened my mouth to answer but was interrupted...by SATAN! Okay, not Satan but my older sister by five years, Carmen. Close enough. "Mom!" came the high pitched whine. She entered, tugging at her fake platinum blonde hair with her left hand. "I need a little help. I got my engagement ring stuck in it," she explained.

Mom went over, and with just a few twists, freed Carmen's hand. Carmen thanked her before gazing down at the large emerald sitting in the gold band. Not your average engagement ring.

This would be a good time to explain my 'dear' sister. I'll admit it, Carmen is really pretty. She has looks that people pay thousands for. She makes me feel like a mutated pile of feces. The catch? She's about as smart as a monkey on crack. How she got through a four year college, we'll never know. Somehow I don't think I want to.

And, yes, she's engaged. Her fiancé is Rick. A mega rich, self-absorbed, feminine guy. He's gay. As in homosexual gay. He wears sequined clothing, adores anything with ruffles or glitter, and I found magazines of naked guys in his room (don't ask). What it all adds up to is that I wasted plenty of fanfiction reading time screwing up Carmen's birth control pills. She still hasn't found that out yet.

For the record, it's not that I have anything against gays. I just don't like Rick. He's always insulting my dark, curly hair (apparently, it needs some 'pizzaz') or my camo jeans. He's so narcissistic that sometimes I wonder if he'd marry himself given the chance. I think he would.

Anyhoo, Rick buys Carmen everything she wants. Everything. They've only been 'a couple' for several months. It's all just a sham in my opinion. She's only marrying him for his money (cough, gold-digger, cough) and he's only marrying her to prove to his parents he's not gay (cough, queer, cough).

So, the bride-to-be has been living at home for the past few weeks until the wedding to 'spend more time with her family'. In other words, fighting with me, ignoring our dad, and watching mom cry about how her little girl is all grown up. Whoop-dee-flipping-doo. Fin.

Carmen looked at me still cleaning the tv. "What's with her?"

"Becky attacked the tv again," mom replied and crossed her arms in a very mom way.

"I didn't attack it!" I said in my defense. "I just kinda...um, licked it."

Carmen burst out laughing and I scowled at her. She tried to catch breath but her laughter continued. "That is sooo stupid!...I can't believe you...you violated the tv!" I threw the rag I'd been cleaning with and hit Carmen in the face. She squealed and tossed the rag aside and was ready to tackle me. Mom held her back. Dang, I could've taken her on.

"Enough!" mom shouted causing us both to stop instantly. On the scale of most powerful beings ever, she's right up there beside Poseidon. Why Poseidon, you ask. Because he's my home dog... Woof... Yeah... "You are both mature, young women-"

"Tell that to the tv licker," Carmen mumbled under her breath just loud enough for me to hear.

"-and this will be one of the last time you girls get to see each other. Carmen will be getting married soon and..." She suddenly broke out into another weeping state. Carmen and I simultaneously rolled our eyes. "My little girl's getting married!" she sobbed and latched onto Carmen. It was more pathetic then funny.

"Oh, please," Carmen grumbled, "not again." She began to pry mom off. I giggled and she glared at me. She glanced at the clock. It was nearly 5 o'clock. "Uh, mom? Weren't you suppose to pick up someone at the airport?"

Mom stopped crying long enough to look at the clock. "Oh, dear," she said wiping at her tears, releasing her daughter, and grabbing her coat and handbag. "Girls, I'll be back in a few hours. You know how your Aunt Sophie likes to think she knows the shortcut to everywhere. Remember, be good and don't fight." She was nearly out the door when I ran in front of her.

"Wait, you can't!" I said in a panicky tone. "You promised to take me to the mall! I need to get this one book for a report. I haven't even started and it's due Monday!" I am the biggest procrastinator in the history of the universe. That could explain why my grades are less then stellar...Nah! And, to top it off, I still haven't gotten my license. I could have when I was 16, but noooo. I was 'too busy' reading horrendous Legomances that are burning in fanfiction hell as I speak.

Mom wriggled free of my death grip that I plan on using on any hott, British guy with a mohawk that crosses my path. I guess it needs some improving. She regained her always perfect posture. "Carmen will take you."

"What!" Carmen and I shrieked. Maybe my mom has that mad cow disease or something. She must be crazy to think Carmen would do something even remotely nice for me. This was the person who put hair removal cream in my shampoo. My hair still hasn't evened out completely.

"Carmen, this would be a perfect chance for you and Becky to spend some quality time together. I insist," she said, emphasizing the last word. Carmen wanted to protest but it was useless to argue with 'Her'. I've always admired how my mom can be so sweet and yet cruel. And how she can make pancakes with chocolate swirls.

"She could at least change her shirt." She pointed at the shirt I was wearing with the picture of Legolas on it. Carmen once tried to burn it, but didn't know the combination to the vault I kept it in.

Mom examined my shirt. "There's nothing wrong with her shirt." Carmen rolled her eyes. "Just go to mall. Have some fun," she said with a cheery smile. "Oh, and don't leave without her like you did last time," she added sternly. Bad memories with Carmen driving. When she first got her license, she ran over my cat Kitty Num-Nums. I swear, sometimes I hear her last word when I'm in the driveway at night: meo-umphf. Poor Kitty Num-Nums

"Fine then," Carmen said in defeat. Mom smiled and said good-bye before hurrying out to her car. Carmen turned to me with death in her eyes. "If you embarrass me, even the slightest bit, you're dead." I laughed nervously and we were soon off to the mall. This should be fun. Not!

We rode in silence. I was reading The Silmarillion for the umpteenth time as Carmen drove. I was at the part where Niniel finds out she's pregnant with her brother's child. Dun, dun, dun... It's like the Jerry Springer for Middle-earth. Next episode: Elves gone wild, I've been secretly sleeping with your Ranger. Or my Ring-bearer is a Hobbit whose gardener lover is stalking me.

Suddenly, Carmen turned the radio on full blast to some pop song. I put down my book and glared at her. "Do you mind?"

"My car, my rules," Carmen said with a smirk. "Why are you reading in the car? Only geeks do that." She paused. "Oh forgot, you are a geek."

"Like you've ever read a book in your life," I said through clenched teeth. "Oh forgot, you're too stupid to read!"

"At least I'm not obsessed with some stupid fictional character!"

"You're the one marrying a guy just for his money!"

That caught Carmen off guard. "For you're information, Rick and I love each other very much. It just so happens he has a lot of money..." She would have glared, but was too busy trying to focus on the road.

"I don't even think he likes girls," I said harshly. "The guy tweezes his eyebrows and his dog is a miniature poodle! He even dyes its hair pink!"

"Rick doesn't dye his hair pink! He wears pink shirts! Big difference," Carmen retorted.

I sighed angrily. "I meant he dyes his dog's hair pink."

"Becky, you don't even know," she said with a sneer. "At least I've had a boyfriend!"

I fumed. "At least I'm not a total whore who sleeps with anything with a full bank account!" I knew I had hit a nerve because, before I could react, Carmen had snatched my book and dangled it out from the open window with one hand still on the wheel. "Give that back!" I shrieked and lunged for the book, forgetting Carmen was still driving.

"Hey! Stop it Becky! I can't see!" Carmen yelled when I blocked her view and she spun the car out of control. I continued to grab for my book, but was too late. Carmen's grip slipped in her attempt to steer the vehicle.

"Noooo!" my voice rang out and I reached out the window. "Anything but Feanor! Come back to meeeee!" Oh God, it's Kitty Num-Nums all over again!

This gave Carmen the opportunity to actually see. She looked up and screamed causing me to look out the front window. Of course I screamed because there was an 18 wheeler plowing, full speed, towards us. I stopped my scream as my life flashed before my eyes...That was boring. Then I realized the truck was still coming towards us and resumed screaming.

And surprise, surprise, my world went black.

(End of Chapter 1)

A/N: Ta da! This chapter just gets the characters and back story out of the way. I accept any constructive criticism or compliments! Flames will break my wee little heart... So please be kind! By-ers!