Pretender

Something else inspired by music. I'm such a loserrrrr. Yeah. Um, okay, something else. It's a Fiona fic...I don't particularly like her, but I liked the idea. Someone has to give her sympathy, I suppose. And then I listened to my iPod and one thing led to another...Okay, I'll shut up.

There were times when you knew you had done something wrong. And sometimes, it was a big thing, other times it was a little thing. And there were times when you knew you had done something wrong, and you had no escape hatch to jump out of, no excuse to fall back on.

That was how Fiona felt.

It was irreversible. She had betrayed the Baudelaires. It was for stepfather, she told herself. It was for my brother.

But nothing could wipe away the memory of the Baudelaires' faces after she had betrayed them. The shock. The hurt. The anger and the sadness. The way Sunny had stared at her with innocent eyes. Sunny was only a young girl. She wasn't prepared for the hardship.

Maybe if Fiona had been a little stronger, she could've spared Sunny one more tragic event. One less thing for the child to cry about. Nothing could dull the guilt rising up inside of her. They were innocent, she and her stepfather had worked for hours and spent days and nights without sleeping to find them. And once they did, what did Fiona do?

She crossed over to Olaf's side.

Idiot, she reprimanded herself. Fool. Weak-minded, unstable idiot. Fernald was a big boy. He could take care of himself. And her stepfather wasn't a child. It was she who had been the child. Joining Olaf, never thinking for a moment that perhaps the Baudelaires needed her more than her family did.

I failed. I tried to be a good member of VFD, but I failed. I was supposed to help serve, to stop the fires spread. Instead, I joined the side that set them. I'm going to help with horrible plots that will end in flames. I'm going to help plot the murder of innocent people. I'm going to burn books, books with vital information. I'm going to assist Olaf in stealing the fortunes of innocent families. I'm going to torture those who try to stand up for the good, the right. And I'm going to do it all without question, without wondering if this is really what I want.

The prospect of such a life scared her. Choiceless, forced down. If she tried to speak out...well, as someone who is as evil as Olaf, though with a better vocabulary would put it, "no one is indisposable."

She could double-cross him. She could steal the submarine. Turn Fernald back to the good. It wasn't impossible.

But it wasn't probable. Her brother...was too far gone. And soon, she would be, too.

Fiona was a pretender, and she knew it. She had lied to the Baudelaires when she said she would help them. She had lied to Olaf when she said she would help him.

But most of all, Fiona had lied to herself.

So normally, I wouldn't be writing this. But hey, it's midnight and my lovely creativeness always comes up at midnight. I hope you liked this, even if you don't like Fiona. I don't like her much, either. And I would go into a lot of different explanations, all of which would be a perfect example of how much I overanalyze a simple book series. XD.

-- Emily