Disclaimer – Still don't own them. Also, this chapter was beta read by the talented Reluctant Dragon and Pacphys. Go read their fics! I gave Sasami1 the option to beta read, she accepted, but I wanted this chapter up by Monday. If she gets back to me with insight that I can use, I may tweak this chapter and re-load it.
I do own The Gift of Life, if only in this story.If there is such an organization, then I disown any ownership of that, too. For those who were kind enough to review and leave comments, they are – Pacphys, Chibi Rose Angel, Innocent-Rebel, Sasami1, Empress Caroline of Tamaran, Mikaela's Spade, Leo Oneal, Jigsaw231, Fletty, Lunar-Ninja, Ramica, Cynlee, Reluctant Dragon, Jessiy Landroz, and Kristy aka Donny's Ninja Girl.
Author's Comments
In case any of you are curious, this is NOT the first time I've written about controversial issues, nor have I been the only writer on Fan Fiction to do so. I usually stay away from 'hot topics', but this story kept percolating and bugging me, begging to be written. The only difference between this one and my other topical stories, is I've been more direct with the telling. I do have to say that it was a very difficult topic to write about, where one could so easily be maligned and ostracized by the masses for swimming against the flow.
However, some of you seemed shocked and horrified by Chapter 2's graphic content. For this, I apologize, yet please understand that I could not soft-peddle the subject matter. I wanted a comparison chapter, where, on one hand, you have a baby found alive, with everyone cheering the fact and, at the same time, wagging their heads in anger about the atrocity of someone dumping a baby into a trash bin. Then, the pendulum swings the other way with the abortion issue.
Nevertheless, I have since re-rated this story to M, just to be safe, but bear in mind that I did categorize it as 'horror'.
I will eventually have websites on my start-page that I used which detail the developmental history of a baby (fetus) and a site that advertises for late-term abortions, as well as some other sites that may be helpful, too.
Someone mentioned that aborted fetuses are only as big as the tip of one's finger. Not so. Some are aborted as late as nine months, although it is rare. However, in no way by listing these sites do I advocate abortion, but am only validating my resources and confirming the fact that I did research this topic before writing about it.
With that said, my heart and hugs to any of you who have had to make such a drastic decision as abortion. I can only imagine the fear and the uncertainty that you went through. I do not judge you for whatever decision you felt forced or inclined to make. I have friends who work at various types of crisis pregnancy centers and they meet many women who are on the cusp of making a decision regarding their pregnancy. Some mothers take advantage of the center's support system, while some do not, but be assured that those who fail to talk these mothers out of having an abortion, never condemn them, but, instead, pray for them.
May you all be blessed.
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Chapter 3 – Descent and Resurrection
The moment Raphael came barreling through the door of the lair, he headed straight for his room. Don and Leo were sitting on the couch, watching television, while Mikey slept in-between them. However, the moment their red-banded brother charged into their home, the two program-viewing siblings startled, nearly jumping out of their seats and waking Michelangelo in response.
"Hey, wha'z happenin'?" Mike asked groggily as he sat up, rubbing at his eyes. He barely noticed his brother's red bandanna tails as Raphael angrily tore into his room, slamming the door behind him with a resounding bang.
Splinter soon came through the lair's front door, closing it shut, while carrying both bags. To his three sons sitting stoically on the couch, he looked as if the entire weight of the world was on his shoulders.
"Hey, Sensei," Leonardo asked, as he raised himself off the couch, "What's wrong with Raphael?"
The rat seemed to ignore his oldest, as he walked over to their very simple kitchen. The rat gently placed the two bags on the floor and then stood there for a moment, his back to Don, Mike, and Leo. Splinter acted as if trying to collect himself, then, squaring his shoulders, he turned around. He took a measured breath and explained, "Your brother has had a difficult evening."
Mike's eyes shot up in curiosity, "What happened? Did'e get in trouble?"
"No, Michelangelo, Raphael did not get into trouble," Splinter replied softly, but he saw the growing interest in all three of his young sons' faces and knew that they would end up pestering their other brother, "It is a personal matter and I will not tolerate any of you badgering him about it. You will leave Raphael alone."
"But, Master Splinter, maybe if we knew…" Don asked, as he sensed his father's unrest.
"No, Donatello. Only if Raphael feels like sharing, but until such time, you will leave him alone."
There was a subtle pause, as if considering their father's words. Then, all three chorused together, "Okay, Sensei."
"Now," Splinter offered as he tried to smile invitingly, "who would like to help me sort through the bags?"
A trio of small, turtle-ish bodies came charging into the kitchen, with all three brothers shouting in unison, "I will, I will."
After they had put the food away and, later, after their evening meal was over, Splinter knew that he had to talk with Raphael. The boy had refused to come out of his room at all, even to eat, and Splinter chose to let him be. Yet, in order to talk to him, the rat wanted to ensure that his other sons were busy elsewhere. Therefore, he gave Leonardo the task of sweeping the dojo floor, while Michelangelo and Donatello washed up the dinner dishes.
Once they were well into their chores, Splinter slipped quietly into the bedroom where Raphael was. He noticed that his son lay deep under the covers of his bed, curled up into a ball, as if trying to hide from the world. The rat noticed an occasional trembling, and his heart sank. If the police had not forced them to hide, then neither of them would have seen the horror in the dumpster.
Yet, see it they did and Splinter knew that, unless he talked with Raphael, the experience might very well scar the boy for life.
"Raphael," he whispered softly. The form under the blankets startled, but then tightened up again, as if rejecting his father's call. Splinter walked over to the bed and sat down on its edge.
"Go away," Raphael's muffled voice demanded.
"No, I am not going to go away, Raphael, we need to talk," Splinter insisted softly.
"No we don't. I don't wanna talk," his son said hoarsely.
Sighing, Splinter laid a gentle paw on the trembling, and ever tightening, form of his son, "What you saw tonight should not be for someone with eyes as young as yours, Raphael, but see it you did. I need to explain to you what you saw."
"I saw dead babies, Sensei, what more is there t'say?" Raph hissed from under his covers. His voice cracked as a sob broke free, but the turtle quickly squelched it. Then, he suddenly growled from under the blanket, his words dripping with venom, "I HATE Donnie! I hate im, hate 'im, hate 'im!"
Shocked, Splinter asked tersely, "Why would you hate your brother, Raphael?"
He whimpered, sniffing slightly, "Cuz he got to see a live baby and I didn't and I think it's just not fair, I hate him." His form shook, now, as his inner turmoil crashed through his tough resolve. Raph's soft cries became wracking sobs as he released his suppressed trauma. The youth didn't even resist when Splinter uncovered him, the master's strong arms wrapping around his son, and pulling him into an embrace. Raphael continued to cry, leaning in defeated resignation against the rat's robed body, as his father's gentle hands caressed the back of his head. As Splinter hummed to comfort the youth, the ninja master allowed his son to vent as the boy's anger and grief poured out.
While he held Raphael, a sudden movement by the room's entrance caught the rat's attention. He looked up to see Leonardo's worried face peek around the slowly opening door. Leo's eyes were wide with concern and it was obvious to him that his brother was crying. Yet, one stern look from Splinter had the boy ducking back into the hallway and closing the door softly behind him. The rat sighed and knew then, at the very least, that he would have to explain to his oldest why Raphael was crying. He could only hope that Leonardo was mature enough to keep silent where it concerned Mike and Don. The sad truth was, however, Splinter also knew that such information as aborted babies would not be good for such tender ears. Nevertheless, one day it would come to pass where they would all have to learn about such matters, yet, when this would happen would be their father's most difficult decision.
In either event, Raphael needed him more at this particular time, as he was the one desperate for an explanation. Splinter could only hope that he would tell it well enough in order to quell his son's current trauma successfully. As he held the trembling youth, the rat thought about what he would say to him, to explain how so many babies came to be in the bag they found in the dumpster. Why they were there in the first place would be the toughest part, and it would prove to be the hardest discussion the rat would ever have with his red-banded son.
Six Year Later…
"Hey, Raph, wait up, bro!" Donatello called out, watching as his brother rocketed easily across the gulf between the two buildings. Don then bounded thrice and took off in like manner over the same expanse. The purple-wearing turtle easily bridged the narrow gap between the two apartments, with the nearly deserted side street lying ten stories below him. As he landed atop the next structure, Don's momentum put him into a forward roll along the pebbly roof. Just as he righted to a stand again, and dusted off his trench coat, he saw that Raphael, similarly dressed, had already reached the opposite side of the building. Raph stood there, smug, and grinning back at his trailing brother, ready to begin scaling down the rear fire escape.
From under his over-sized fedora, Raph chided good-naturedly, "You're too slow, Donnie." He then quickly slipped over the top rung of the ladder to begin his climb down to the alley below.
Don soon caught up with him, his smile easily detectable within the shadows of his own hat, "Hey, I'm not the one in a hurry."
"I'm not hurryin'," Raph declared defensively, "Jus'…focused, s'all," and proceeded to disappear below the short, rooftop wall.
"You? Focused?" Don laughed, as he watched his brother descend the metal rungs, "That'll be the day," and then he executed a one-eighty leap and twist to land on the outside part of the fire escape. With both feet expertly placed on the steps, he grabbed the upper hand-holds, and quickly followed his brother down the ladder to the alley.
As the two turtles made their way along, Donnie asked, "So, what're you so focused about, Raph?"
Raphael didn't answer right away, but after he was about the halfway point, he replied, "Got somewheres to be."
"Yeah, I figured as much, but where?" Donnie inquired, reaching the same level that his brother had a second earlier, before continuing his descent.
Again, Raph hesitated in replying. Instead, he maintained his pace, quickly reaching the last landing before quietly releasing its ladder to the alley floor, eight feet below him. A moment later, when he stood on firm ground again, Raphael waited until Donatello joined up.
As the purple-banded turtle leaped off the last rung and finally stood next to his brother, he said, "Again, I ask, where are we going?" Now that he could clearly see his brother's face, it no longer held the familiar sarcastic expression. "Hey, bro, what's up?" he asked in concern.
Raphael sighed, staring intently into Donnie's brown eyes and then looked around the alley as he instinctively reconnoitered the area. Returning to gaze at his sibling once again, Raph asked; his voice soft yet strained, "Ya remembah six years ago, when ya found that baby in the trash dumpstah?"
Smiling, Donnie replied, "Yeah, how could I ever forget that? It was awesome!"
"Yeah, well," Raph nervously rubbed at his jacketed left arm, "'member when I went topside wit Splintah aftah that,"
Donnie furrowed his eye ridges and shook his head, "No, not really."
Raph's face grimaced, "How could ya not remembah that, Donnie? I mean, I came home really upset and pissed and…"
"Raph, you're always pissed, how could I tell one pissy attitude from another?" Don smirked, but in the next instant, he regretted his words. Raph was in his face in less time than it took to blink. His aggressive action forced Donatello back against the brickwork of the building from which they had just climbed down.
"I was MORE pissed than usu'al, 'kay, but for th'record, I didn't have th'wondahful experience you had." Raph nearly bellowed.
Don quickly put his hands up as if in surrender, "Okay, Raphael, but calm down, I didn't mean anything by it, I was just making a point…"
"Yeah, well, point taken," Raphael quickly interrupted. He relaxed his aggressive stance and stepped back, "but – and I reiterate – I did not have th'great and awesome experience that you had."
"What…exactly do you mean?" Don asked as he stood at ease again, but then his eyes widened in sudden thought, "You…didn't find a baby like I did, did you?"
"Oh, I found a baby all right, lots of 'em, in fact!" he said derisively through clenched teeth, balling his fists up in repressed anger.
"'Lots' of them? What do you mean?" Don could not fathom how anyone would find more than one baby, not the way that he and Splinter did.
"Well, less just say that these babies were nevah gonna be rescued, not evah," the red-banded turtle snapped. He paused for a moment, looking down the alleyway again, and then turned back to Donnie, "Cuz they were dead, Donnie." He saw the look of shock on his brother's face and then went on, "Yeah, all of 'em. While we were on our way home, Splintah and I had to hide in a dumpstah because of p'lice activity. We didn't know we were behind an abortion clinic, though. Anyway, even though they don't do this anymore, back then they would bag aborted fetuses and toss 'em in the trash, and …well…that dumpstah was what they used."
Don's eyes grew wide throughout Raph's story, but they were more so by the end of it. "You were in that…dumpster?" he asked in whispered realization.
Nodding, Raph sighed, "Yep." He took a shaky breath, the memory still fresh in his eighteen-year old mind, before continuing, "Splintah saw it first before I did and he even tried to make sure that I didn't see it, but…well…in tryin' t'get out of that dumpstah, my leg got stuck in th'rest of the trash that was there. When I tried to pull my leg free, that's when I saw the bag, and it had ripped open. I don't know if we did it when we first jumped in, or if rats had torn it open earliah. I don't even know why th'dumpstah was even open for that mattah. It should'a been closed, ya know; all things considered. Anyway, it was just…horrible. Couldn't sleep for days aftahwards." Raph swallowed, becoming more agitated from the memory.
"Wow, Raph, I…I didn't know." Don saw the pained expression on his brother's face and tentatively laid a gentle hand on Raphael's shoulder. Surprisingly, Raph didn't rebuff his brother's compassionate gesture.
"Splintah tried to explain t'me latah why girls have abortion and," he looked at Don with deep hurt in his eyes, "I can sort of understand it an' all…where some girls get raped, where they might not have a choice about getting wit child, but…seeing all those tiny, tiny babies and knowin' that any one of 'em could have been a person…"
"Raph, you have to understand that, like you just said, some girls probably don't have much of a choice. It's not like giving birth is all that easy and once they do, then they have to take care of it. Sometimes the child they give birth to ends up worse off." Don tried to explain.
"Yeah, I know…" He glanced down at his feet, "Maybe some of 'em end up on welfare, abused, or maybe a life of crime, but," he looked up into Donnie's face again determinedly, "maybe some of 'em end up successful and maybe even finding a cure for some horrible disease, too." He squared his shoulders, "Maybe, just maybe, one of 'em might have been able to make it possible for us to live topside."
"You don't know that for sure, Raph," Don countered quickly.
"Yeah, well, you're prob'ly right, but I know one thing fer sure," the red-banded turtle declared as he straightened his stance.
Don raised one eye ridge in suspicion, recognizing the determination in Raphael's voice. His gut-instincts told him that this night's venture was more than just 'getting out for a breath of fresh air', as Raph had explained earlier to him back home in the sewers. At the time, Don had decided to go along, curious to what had become a regular schedule for his brother. For the past several weeks, Raphael had made it a habit to 'get some fresh air' every Tuesday and Thursday evening, not returning until well after midnight. His pat answer was always the same when questioned by their sensei as to where he had been, "Makin' sure the city's safe, izzall, Mastah Splintah."
Don tentatively asked him, "What do you know, Raphael?"
His brother replied earnestly, "If I can help it, no othah baby will end up in a dumpstah like the ones I saw six years ago."
"Hey, you can't force girls to not have an abortion, bro; it's their choice, it's their decision, and how would you go about it anyway?" Don declared as he asked, a sense of worry foreboding forming in the pit of his stomach.
"Give them altern'tives!" Raph announced, shoving his hand into his coat pocket and then pulling out a couple of tri-folded pieces of paper. He handed one to Donnie, saying, "April helped get me these."
Don took the proffered leaflet and read aloud, "'The Gift of Life…A Safer, Better Alternative to Abortion.' What is this, Raphael?" Don asked as he looked up at his brother in puzzlement.
"It's an altern'tive, izzall," Raph replied, "gives the girls' anothah way out, 'doption, and gives couples a chance for a family when they can't have any kids themselves."
"Yeah, but…" Donatello looked at his red-banded brother again and saw the sincerity in his face. He sighed, "So, you don't go blindsiding them, get in their face or anything, if they decide to go ahead with the abortion?"
"You said it yourself, Don, it's their choice, but I don't want 'em goin' in t'the clinics not knowin' what their choices are. Some of 'em are forced to do it, ya know, friends, boyfriends, pressure from their parents, economics. But, if there's a place that can covah the cost, give 'em a better way of handlin' their problem, then I'm gonna make sure they at least know about it. Once I leave the pamphlets where they can see 'em, I go on to the next clinic. After that, it's up to them."
"So…you don't go trashing clinics, either?" Donatello knew his brother, knew Raph's passionate nature, and knew what he was capable of when provoked.
Raph seemed livid as he replied, "What'ya takin' me for, Donnie, a terrorist?" He then calmed some, as he reasoned, "Naw, I mean, the doctor's gotta make a liv'n, and – well – as much as I hate what they do, they have wives and kids at home. They're just…well…tryin' t'help, I guess." He sighed, "'Sides, these girls'll jus' go and do it somewheres else and who knows what'll happen t'them. At least outside the clinic where some of them go to, I can leave this tract for 'em t'find and offer em somethin' t'think about."
Don smiled. He was partly relieved that his brother wasn't going about destroying abortion clinics, where he knew that Master Splinter would not approve, regardless of the reasons why. Mostly, though, he was proud that Raphael had taken an interest in something outside of his normal angst and rants. "Well, I have to admit that I'm rather surprised with this, Raphael."
"Why's that," his brother asked as he and Don turned towards the end of the alley and began walking.
As they made their way towards the street beyond, Donatello smirked as he shook his head, "Because we honestly thought you were out causing trouble somewhere."
Raph laughed and swung an arm across his brother's jacketed shell, "Well, I guess for some people, Donnie, I jus' very well might be."
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A/N – There, I hope I've included some balance. I had several scenarios flitting around inside my head, and this was one of them. Based on reviews and subsequent E-mails with a few readers, I decided on this particular ending. I'm still not sure if I'll do an epilogue, but where this chapter leaves off, the story can end here without any loose strings to worry about. Then again, I seem to find them no matter how badly I want to finish a story! LOL Thanks for reading and reviewing. Be blessed.