To Remember (Oboeru)
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Genma had asked Kakashi once if he remembered falling in love. Genma being Genma, the question had been laced with a mixture of vague sarcasm, contempt and genuine desire to know.
Kakashi being Kakashi, he hadn't answered. Or rather, his answer had been a confusing mix of lies, truths and misdirections.
He wasn't quite sure what conclusions Genma had come to, but he hadn't asked again and that was the main thing.
There was no doubt that Kakashi remembered. He remembered everything Iruka had ever said, done, or hinted at with all the clarity of memory forced on a Sharingan user.
There were times he thought there might be more of Iruka inside his head than Kakashi. Iruka-fluff wrapped around all the brittle pieces of himself, cushioning them and keeping him from getting cut on the sharp edges.
It made much easier to live in there, so really, he didn't care how much space he lost.
So no, he remembered exactly when he'd fallen in love, when he'd realized exactly how screwed he was. When he realized he'd condemned yet another person to be dragged down by his scars and his bad luck and the goddamned fucking genius that insisted on being Hatake.
When he'd realized that once again, he just wasn't strong enough to let go.
It hadn't been something physical, not the first time they fucked or touched or looked at each other.
It wasn't something romantic, not the first time they slept together or kissed or shared a toothbrush.
It hadn't been something overly emotional, not the first time Iruka patched him up or cried on him or yelled at him.
He'd been dozing, comforted by the warm weight of Iruka's head on his chest. If Iruka liked to sleep on top of him, he wouldn't judge or complain. Because really, Iruka might be screwed up too, but it wasn't much in comparison.
He'd come alert feeling dampness seeping through to his skin and looked down to see Iruka, peacefully asleep…and drooling on him.
That was when he'd realized how badly off he was – because the only thing that came to mind was how damn cute it was.