Author: Andrea
Summary: She could never be the woman whose place she was occupying now. DnA
Category: Romance/Drama
Rating: G
Disclaimer: If they were mine I'd have made Vanessa stay. Even if physical force was needed.
A/N: So, I started this fic with an idea in my head, but it turned out completely different, as can be clearly seen: p It was supposed to be only the first half of it, but the words just kept coming and I didn't stop them. But I hope you all can enjoy it just the same :)
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She flashed him a grin, which was answered with only a look and a small smile, only to be polite to her. She looked back at her findings, still cheering internally that they -she- managed to find a break through on the case. Danny didn't seem to share the same emotion apparently. When she looked back up, at him, Danny Messer was staring down at the table, deep in some sort of thought, or trance, apparently remembering something... or someone.
Could he be recalling when the previous CSI girl worked there? Remembering when she was the one finding a breaking through on the case and possibly be more cheerful and happy of so? She couldn't help but wonder how the girl really was. She had heard things around, people talking, commenting, even Danny himself had slipped her name now and then. "Aiden'd have done that, Aiden'd have said this, Aiden'd have loved that" and she even caught once a "If only Aiden was here" which wasn't meant to be said loud enough for her to hear, but she did anyway and she couldn't help but feel a little hurt by it.
Lindsey had the feeling that no matter how hard she tried she'd never be able to be Aiden Burn. Not that she wanted to, all she wanted was recognition, wanted him to feel as if she could be a partner and work with him so well that others would notice, and he was just so cute she couldn't help but flirt with him. Wasn't that what he used to do with the other CSI? Flirt, and play?
People commented. Oh the things she had heard about Danny Messer and Aiden Burn. It was such a surprise that everyone said they weren't dating, they were just friends, although most of them admitted there was something there, so obvious; specially Chad. Chad, the lab guy, who had a crush on Burn, as far as she could tell, said himself that Danny never really enjoyed his flirting with Aiden and many times gave him not so pleased looks. He could feel Aiden and Danny murmuring behind his back, and sometimes see them in their own little world. It was fun to watch sometimes, Such connection, Lindsey had heard, wasn't something you could find on every corner.
And she wondered, was she taking Aiden's place? Did Danny think that?
Lindsey shook her head and focused on he evidence in front of her again; the breaking through. They were done with this case, all they needed to do was go arrest Tim Morrison, murderer of his wife and 4 year old son, and put him in jail for the rest of his life. She had to celebrate.
"Hey Danny, wanna go celebrate?" And there was that grin again. He looked up at her at the sound of her voice, but before he could get to answer, his cell phone rang, and as he went for the vibrating thing in his pocket, he lifted one finger to her.
"Excuse me." He said and turned away from her. He checked the ID number and the smile that immediately broke across his face wasn't lost on her. "Hey." He talked sweetly into the phone.
Lindsey tried to look away, pretening she wasn't listening, pretending she didn't see the smile, pretending his eyes didn't light up. She couldn't though, as her ears kept focused on the sound of his voice and how it changed considerably, from a professional tone to such a sweet, warm sound that almost made her melt. For some reason she had the feeling that whoever was on he other side of the conversation, was very much Aiden Burn. The lucky woman.
"In about 5 minutes. You wanna go grab a bite?"
She could only hear his side of the conversation but it was pretty obvious that the person on the other side was asking him out; sort of.
Danny laughed a deep, good, warming laugh. "No, that place stinks." pause. "It so does. And the waitress keep asking my phone number. I don't know why you keep taking me there." pause. "Fun to watch? You gotta be kidding me." And he laughed again. He probably thought he was far enough in a distance she wouldn't be able to hear much, but she couldn't help it and she did. It didn't help at all that she had a good ear. He kept the smile on as he listened to the other person talk. "How about that Chinese across the Central Station?" pause. "Oh come on, you love that place." pause "Sure, fine, whatever. What do you have in mind? And make it fast coz my 5 minutes are down to 2 now." He chuckled at the response Lindsey didn't hear. She was starting to feel uncomfortable being there, listening to such a private talk, while she wanted to stay just there and know all about it, to know about the person that managed to bring a side of Danny no one had before.
Lindsey bit her lip and trying to focus on he evidence already sorted and pretty much ready to be put away. Taping her fingers on the lab table she forced thoughts into her mind, anything that could take her attention away from the conversation happening.
"Ok, I'll meet you there. You're paying, I presume?" Pause. Another smile. "Sure, keep saying that and it may come true." Pause. "Whatever, see you then." There was another response and he laughed again, "I'm hanging up now, bye."
He pocketed his phone and turned to the woman sharing the lab with him. She gave him a rather embarrassed smile.
"I'm sorry, I gotta go." And he almost added 'maybe a rain check?' but the part of him that still hated Mac for firing Aiden, also kept on hating the girl that wasn't really taking Aiden's place, but kept making him feel like it.
"Yeah sure." And she waved to the general direction of the door. She wanted so much to joke about a hot date, but she knew that they weren't in a place where they could joke around like that. They barely knew each other yet. And deep down she knew that he didn't really want them to. He still felt very uncomfortable around her, and as much as she was chipper and friendly, she couldn't get Danny to feel at easy. And again her thoughts drifted to Aiden. Was it how he felt with her? Or did they click the moment they met each other? Or did he feel like that with her because of how things ended for Aiden Burn?
"I'll see you tomorrow." And he left as soon as the words were out of his mouth, eager to meet the person of his phone call. Whoever was on the other end of the phone -most likely Aiden Burn herself- brought to him such glee and such a glow to his face that was very contagious. She couldn't even begin to image how it was to work with that woman every day.
Danny Messer missed her, it was obvious. Before, he could get up each morning with the certain that he was going to see Burn that day, and most likely spend it with her and the probable security that thought gave him was enough to live through life, and the more Lindsey heard about Danny Messer and Aiden Burn, the more sure she was that no matter how much she tried she would never be the woman whose place she was occupying now. Danny would never wake up every morning looking forward to spending the day with her, working or not. She'd never be able to elicit such contentment to his face, so obvious.
Her thoughts, though, were interrupted when she heard the door opening. She looked up to find none other than Danny Messer peeking his head in. "You ok finishing it up by yourself?"
And there was a pause while she started at him and her brain tried to function properly. "Yeah," She managed to say finally, again grinning at him. " I'm ok. You go on with your... date" She added at least.
Indeed, she'd never be the woman who worked there before her, whose place Lindsey was now occupying, but maybe, just maybe she and Danny could be friends someday, and someday he could introduce her to the woman who made Danny the man she met.
Because really, Lindsey could be young but she knew enough to know that only a person in love could ever manage such emotions and looks and glows to another person, she finally realizing what exactly was that draw her to Danny's attitude. He was so rough, and yet so sweet.
Aiden Burn was probably the one to be complimented by that. And the day Lindsey got the chance to finally do that, will be the day that she'd know she was finally belonging.
----
He got there first, picking the table by the window just the one Aiden loved. Looking outside, at the almost non visible sky, the people passing by, and lights, was something she really enjoyed; specially the night lights. It was still summer and the sky, although very polluted, was clear of any clouds, and even a few starts could be seen sprinkled over it.
He heard the bell above the door jingling and as a conditioned move, he looked up to see the person walking in. This time it wasn't an old couple, but Aiden Burn dressed in a dark red top, black jeans, her hip swaying as always with each step, and oh so very beautiful. She looked around for him, and the moment her eyes fell on his frame sitting on the table by the window, the smile spread and she walked quickly to his direction.
"Hey." She greeted, pushing the chair across from his and sitting down, putting her purse on the smooth surface of the table.
"Hey yourself." He smiled back, grin full force. "You got here all right?"
"Yeah, traffic was murder, but I got here in time didn't I?" She answered, half looking at him, half looking at the menu, reading its content, even though she knew it by heart already. "I'm starving." And she added in an afterthought. "And I'm so not buying."
"Hey! You are the one who invited me. Show me some courtesy, will you."
"Don't be a cry baby. You're the guy here. Plus you have a job, and I don't." She flashed him a grin that was very much a fake attempt to sooth the subject, which was obviously still painful to her.
"I thought you had gotten that place at the university. At the paleontology wing."
She shrugged it off, never taking her eyes from the menu. "They hired someone else."
"What do you mean 'they hired someone else'? I thought you had the job. Who'd be better than you anyway."
She felt very touched by this, the sweet and loving Danny she missed every single moment, but she still didn't want to touch that subject; specially because she had lied to him about applying for the job there, which she never did. "Look, I don't want to talk about it ok? I thought we were supposed to enjoy ourselves, spend some quality time together." And as a barely audible whisper, she added. "I miss you."
"Aid.." He brought his hand across the table and took one of her small hands into his, squeezing it, never letting go. She looked at their hands together, so right, so perfectly well fit, then up at him. "I miss you too." She smiled and stared down at his thumb softly stroking her knuckles. "It sucks not having you there."
"I wish I could say the same but.. I don't know." And she felt his thumb stop the stroking his hand subtly letting go of hers, but she grabbed it before he could get it very far, linking their fingers. "Don't."
Danny stopped, but kept looking accusatoringly at her.
"The only real enjoyable thing there was working with you, having you around, you know that. I have told you before. I don't know you keep being so stubborn about it. Being glad of being away frm there has nothing to do with you, it doesn't mean I like to be away from you. And we still can see each other."
"It's not the same."
"I know it's not, but there is nothing we can do about it, ok? We gotta deal with this, find a away to make this work. I don't wanna just be another long lost friend after a while because we lost contact."
"I could talk to Mac, maybe..."
"Danny!" She said his name with more force than she intended, not sounding angry or upset, just a bit louder, just enough to get his attention; and she said what had been in her chest since her firing, since Danny found out and tried to talk everyone into letting her go back, trying to understand what was going on. She never told him. "I don't wanna go back." She whispered. "I just..." and as he stared at her, for the first time that night noticing how exhausted she looked, even a little pale.
And it hit him. "You didn't apply for the job, did you?"
She bit her lip, looked so much like a lost child, and shook her head. "I'm just so tired." She whispered again, and as she looked up at him he noticed the tears glimmering her beautiful eyes. "I just need some time."
Was it depression? What was going on with her? "Oh Aid." He lamented, and got up, pulling her up with him. "Let's get out of here."
And she only had time to grab her purse before he pulled her to the door. "Where are we going?"
Where were they going really? He wasn't exactly sure. Maybe he could take her to his apartment, or hers, or just somewhere private where he could hug her, soothe her, try to understand what was happening inside her. He only linked their hands, his fingers lacing through hers, holding onto her, keeping her to him. "I don't know."
She was silent, didn't ask anything else.
"Why don't we just..."
"Go to your place and order some take out?" She wasn't sarcastic, or annoyed, she actually sounded very hopeful.
"Sounds like a great idea." She smiled the most beautiful smile at him.
They walked in silence for a while, instead of just stopping a cab Danny chose to walk with her under the summer night sky, it was fresh and warm, just like her body next to him. He could feel the heat drifting from it.
"So.." She moved their linked hands back and forth, really enjoying the feel of it. "You're not going all 'let me show my bedroom' on my right? Coz, even though I don't have a gun anymore I still can kick your ass."
And she giggled when he gave her the most unbelievable look. Then it turned into a spark and he smile. "Well.. I was more into showing you the robospaker. Coz I kinda stole it.." And his sentence was cut off by a punch on his arm.
"You're so gross." She laughed aloud, forgetting for the first time that week how horrible her life was at the moment.
He laughed along with her and let go of her hand to put his arm around her shoulders and bring her to him. She immediately rested her hand on his shoulder sighing deeply. That's definitely was much better than her crappy week.
"We should do this more often." She said.
"What? Not eat?"
She smiled and snuggled more into him. "Nah, hanging out. Just because we don't work together anymore it doesn't mean we can't see each other sometimes."
"I know."
"So, how is the new CSI? Is a he or a she?" And she dropped the subject as fast as she had brought it up.
"Lindsey."
"Oooh, so it's a girl. Is she cute? You're not going all male on her right? Flirting and stuff? How is she? Is she cute?
"One question at a time would be nice."
She giggled. "Is she cute?"
"It doesn't matter." He said nonchalant. "She's not you." And she never would be.
Aiden felt that as a drop off and didn't touch the subject again. She knew nothing about the new girl and every time she asked him he'd try to change the subject, talk about something else, get her attention onto something else, but this time, this time he did change her focus. 'She's not you.'
Honestly, Aiden was tired of this platonic relationship. Her life was o screwed up right now, nothing was going her away, except Danny. It was funny how in the worst he was always there and now that she had nothing, she had everything.
She had Danny more than ever. And it was more important than anything else in the world. And as much as it hurt him not having her working at the lab anymore, seeing a new CSI occupying the place that used to be Aiden's, she'd still make the same choice, she'd give up her job and her place and even her reputation if she still could have this moment with Danny; this moment in which they were just walking together, his arm around her, her snuggled into him, his warmth all around her.
"She's nice." It came out as a small sound, hesitant at first.
"Really? I thought she'd be such an annoying bimbo."
"You're mean." Danny laughed, squeezing her side into him.
They walked aimlessly, just chatting about the new girl, Danny deciding that getting it all off his chest was the best option, even if he knew Aiden had enough problems of her own already. And it didn't really matter, because they were so young, Aiden specially. They had so much ahead. She had lost her job, but not her life, and he was grateful for it. Maybe Danny wouldn't see her again every single day like he always did, but he had the chance to see her whenever he wanted, and it'd be more special because as people said, the absence makes the heart grow fonder.
Lindsey would never be the woman whose place she was occupying now, but the woman herself was in his arms, a better place than just by his side.
--
finis.