Trust no one, obey to no one, and care for no one

…except…

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-Speech- : Parseltongue

Speech: Telepathy

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Chapter 8: I've seen Hell and I loved it

The Order of the Phoenix was divided and its members were angry with each others. Tom and Harry were celebrating.

In fact, Dumbledore death had reinforced two tendencies. Some didn't trust him because he was holding back fundamental information, information which was now lost. Some remained very loyal to him. Others had strategically joined the Dark Side. Good for them!

As for Severus…

Malfoy Manor (or the Mad House as some called it) was alive with the sound of music. Some of the Death Eater had formed a band and were playing loudly in a corner of the Great Room. It was a huge room, thus bearing well its name. It was generally used to impressed the guests but more commonly it allowed Narcissa to play softball indoors when it was raining. Today, there was a party in it. With loads to eat, and to drink of course. Bella had even baked all sorts of cakes and pies and chocolaty thingy that tasted like heaven.

However, Harry, Tom and Lucius were upstairs in Luc's room to solve the Sevi Problem. Coz Sevi was still a traitor. And still some-kind-of-semi-solid ghost.

"We should sent him straight to the ninth circle of Hell!" Said Harry.

"We should lock him up." Said Tom.

"I should keep him tied to my bed." Said Lucius.

After a heated discussion, it was decided to test him, and most particularly his loyalty.

That's why Sevi was sent to the Weakest Link.

"Whaaaaat?" shrieked Sevi in a girly squeak.

"Well, I think that's a good test!" protested Tom.

"Tom… we're not testing his knowledge…" Sighed Harry.

"OK, then we'll hand him to the couple from Hell!" the Dark Lord shouted evilly.

"Ain't that supposed to be us?" The green-eyed wizard frowned.

"NO, it's… Tonks and Narcissa!"

Two hours later, the two women exited the room in which Sevi was kept. They both were wearing proud smirks.

"That ghost won't bother you anymore my Lord." Said Tonks.

"Yeah and he's all yours, dearest hubby of mine." Added Cissy.

Lucius ran into the room and found the kinda-transparent man dressed in a pink frilly dress, tears trailing down his face.

"Get those things off me Lucyyyy!" whined the poor potion master. "Give me my virility baaack!"

But Lucius didn't give Sevi his virility. Instead he ravished him, doggy style, and Sevi learned to get used to wearing pink frilly dresses.

As for the world, they soon learned that the Dark Side, and Hell in general, was much more funny and colourful than the Light.

Really, who would follow an old man saying 'You can't do that, it's wrong.', when a couple of sexy men on the other side offer you a life of freedom, where you can whatever you want, without consequences!

The path to the Dark Side is a very long one, but accepting it as a reality and learning to love it can be very easy.

Thus, Tom Harry and Co organized a marketing campaign, and hired the most gifted of the lobbyists.

Summer came and the sun shined on a world of cheerful darkness.

Harry and Tom got married.

Draco resurrected Moaning Myrtle with Sevi's ritual and married her too.

Remus and Sirius shrugged, forgot about the fact that Voldemort had killed their best friends and cheered like everyone else when Lord Voldemort was elected Emperor of the Solar System.

Suffering might lead to the Dark Side, but the Dark Side certainly leads to a lot of happiness and fluffiness.

THE END