Trust no one, obey to no one, and care for no one

…except…

Disclaimer: I wish JKR would give me the rights of Harry Potter for Christmas… Fat chance… Please don't sue me!

Rating: Offers Lemon drops around Loads of Lemon to come… NC-17! Nyark!

Pairings: Harry Voldie, Remus Sirius, Lucius Sevvie…

Warning: Ron, Hermione and Dumbles bashing, torture and Violence! And very probably SLASH! If you don't like it, GET THE HELL OUT OF HERE YOU BASTARD!

Categories: humour & fluff! But the world DOES grow dark… soooo weeell, let's just say: party time for the dark side!

Chapter 1: At the Order of the Sparkling Sparrow

Once upon a time,… hum… Well, actually, it's all happening today, and honestly, it's far from being a fairytale. So, let us begin right away.

Harry Potter, Saviour of the Light, was in a very dark mood. It was lucky his relatives were afraid of what the Order of the Phoenix might do if its members learned Harry was being mistreated, because the teenager had so far had a peaceful summer. Except that he was fed up. He wasn't bored because he didn't have anything to do, oh no. He was tired of being himself, tired of the Prophet mentioning in every single article about the Dark Lord activities, tired of the Aurors watching his house night and day, tired of not being able to live.

If he went out, Voldemort would highly likely blast him off, but if he had at least an hour of fun before that, Harry was beginning to think it was worth the little inconvenient of having to die. Sometimes, you have to smile, shrug, and say "What the Hell!" Very wisely, that's precisely what Harry did before pulling his Invisibility Cloak over him and sneaking his way out of Number four, Privet Drive.

Consequently, he wasn't surprised at all when he felt a cold hand pulling his cloak off, halfway to the centre town. He turned around to look into a set of scarlet eyes.

"Hello Tom! Nice seeing you here." Harry settled for the 'James Bond technique', which consist in joking a way out of trouble, barely useful in real life however.

Lord Voldemort raised an eyebrow, visibly amused by the young wizard new confidence.

"Are you drunk Potter?" He asked, just to be sure.

"Not yet… but I intend to work on it." Harry answered casually.

At this point, Voldemort had some difficulty hiding his astonishment.

"Well well well, Potter, it seems to me that you …hum… changed a bit."

"Well well well, Voldie, it seems to me that you …hum… are stating the obvious."

It was then Harry's turn to be flabbergasted, as the Dark Lord chuckled in a very un-Dark Lordish way.

"So, said Harry a bit put off, do we kill each other now, because I don't have all night and if the Order of the Roasted Chicken discovers I'm not at home, they'll go nuts."

"Duh, I'd rather go and get drunk with you if that's your plan."

Harry considered his nemesis for a second and sighed. "Sure, let's go."

The green-eyed wizard looked warily at the man who felled in step with him. Lord Voldie had obviously done a fine piece of magic because he looked exactly like he had back in the chamber of Secret. His shoulder-length hair waved in dark curls around his handsome pale face, his lips nearly as red as his eyes, hidden behind long black lashes. Noticing the staring teenager, Riddle flashed him a smile full of pearly white teeth.

"You look like a movie star."

"Wow Harry did you just compliment me!"

"Wow Tom did you just called me Harry?"

"Don't call me Tom." Whined Voldemort.

"D'you rather I called you Voldie?" Grinned Harry.

"Duh, Tom's fine." Added the Dark Lord with a scowl.

They eventually reached the one and only pub in Little Whining and sat at a table in a corner. The waitress took their command and bring back a minute latter a martini and a margarita.

"Well, did you give up about killing me?" asked Harry, very seriously.

Tom looked in the depths of his margarita and sighed.

"If you stop getting in my way, I wouldn't have to kill you."

"And let you kill everyone else?" replied the teenager raising an eyebrow.

"People should just obey, I wouldn't kill them. It's not MY fault they're too dumb to understand that."

Harry laughed genially. "Sure thing, Tom. Everybody is idiot and you are a genius."

"Eh, even you said so."

"What would you do if I promised to behave around you? To… let you have your fun?" asked Harry warily.

"Then I would ask you out." answered Tom very seriously.

The boy-who-lived just stared for a moment, his heart painfully hopping up and down in his chest. "Do you mean it?" he asked hopefully.

"Despite what you must have thought, I've never lied to you." The Dark Lord answered softly moving closer to Harry. They were barely an inch apart. The young wizard was paralyzed, all his muscles were tensed. Tom brushed his lips against Harry's who closed his eyes. Tom got bolder and deepened the kiss. Harry relaxed under the soft pressure and wrapped his arms around Tom's shoulders.

"This is so weird…" sighed Harry.

"Do you mind?" replied the Dark Lord.

"Not at all!" Harry, an impish smile on his face, exclaimed. "Best day ever!"

Voldemort chuckled softly and kissed the younger wizard again. "Huh, aren't you supposed to be backing home before Dumbly and his little Order begin to get suspicious?"

"Damn, I was getting comfortable there, muttered Harry from Voldie's chest. Might have spent the night." The teenager got up reluctantly and stretched. "Will I see you soon?"

"Yup yup yup! I'll find a way to drop by. Dash those stupid wards!" answered Tom also stretching.

They exited the pub and Tom disappeared home after giving Harry a soft goodnight kiss.

Glancing through the windows of number four privet drive, Harry cursed. Vernon was already up thus the youth couldn't enter through the back door in the kitchen. Nor could he open the front door without freaking out Tonks who was watching intently the front yard. With a sigh he realized he would have to climb up the gutter.

Once safe in his room, he sprawled out on his bed, panting, but happy nonetheless.

This day, Aunt Petunia and Uncle Vernon couldn't explain why their nephew was executing particularly nasty chores without any complaint. He even seemed to enjoy it since a dreamy smile was spreading on his face.

"Weird" said Petunia. Vernon shuddered and chocked on his spit.

In the middle of the afternoon, the bell on the door rang. "ANSWER THE DOOR BOY!" yelled Vernon. Harry rolled his eyes and opened the door. He couldn't help but stare. Tom Riddle was smiling at him from his doorstep. The teenager glanced at Tonks and Shacklebolt who were warily watching the visitor pointing their wands at him but doing nothing else. Harry raised an eyebrow.

"I have a Glamour spell on. Visible to anyone but you." The Dark Lord explained.

"Figures, smiled Harry, aren't you gonna come in?"

The two orders member sighed in relief when they saw Harry smile and stepping back to let the man in, they merely thought he was an acquaintance of the Dursleys.

In the house however, some people were not at all that pleased.

"Who is it?" asked Petunia from the living room.

Harry and Tom glanced at each other before cracking up. "'T is just my boyfriend Aunt Petunia!" called Harry.

In no time, Petunia and Vernon, followed by a sneering Dudley, were in the hallway glaring at the two raven-haired wizards.

"I DON'T WANT YOU FREAKS IN MY HOUSE! ESPECIALLY FAGS FREAKS!" Yelled Vernon, more purple than Harry ever saw him.

Tom cocked an eyebrow at Harry who nodded with a wave of his hand. The Dark Lord drew out his wand and seconds later, a horse a buffalo and a whale were trashing the living room.

In Harry's room, Tom and the boy-who-lived were inventing background information when the Order would ask about the young wizard who had changed the Dursleys into animals and was obviously a dear friend of Harry's.

"Okay, said Tom, so my name's Tom Kinney (A/N: hehehe, his glamour looks like Brian! Yummy!) and I'm a friend of yours from primary school. I'm a wizard and I was home schooled. I'm seventeen…" At that point, Tom laughed outright. "Ugh, poor old me, I'm what, sixty years older…"

"Don't worry Hun, you don't make it."

"I should hope so" winced the Dark Lord. Then he got up wearily with a sigh after a quick look at his watch. "I must go now…"

"Raid?" asked Harry.

"Yessss."

"I thought you let the dirty work to your minions." snorted the teen.

The Dark Lord shouted him an annoyed look. "I can't let those incompetent by themselves."

"If you didn't crucio them every time they open their mouth, they would have enough energy to blast the Aurors out of their way."

"Ha! Let's see if YOU can run a band of blood thirsty thick bullies with the purpose of conquer the world!"

"Tom love, are you admitting your goal is vain?" snickered Harry.

"Nooo, with your help, I CAN do it!" exclaimed Voldemort raising his fist in a cheerful way.

"Gee, such confidence in me! Should I feel honoured or scared?"

Tom stopped to think and replied shaking his head "Well, both really… Time to go! Kiss?"

They shared a last kiss and a hug before Tom exited the house, changing the Dursleys back.

When Harry climbed down the stairs, he found his relatives hiding in a corner of the kitchen, watching him with horror-filled eyes. Harry shrugged and took sandwiches from the fridge.

Once again, the doorbell rang. The young man wasn't surprise to discover scowling Dumbledore and McGonagall on his door step. He let them in and led them to the living room.

"Harry, my dear boy, you know we're very concerned about your safety…" begin the Headmaster.

"You are, aren't you?" replied Harry, a hinge of darkness in his eyes.

"Harry…" sighed Minerva.

"It's about Tom, isn't it?" said Harry, smirking inwardly as Albus and his deputy headmistress looked warily at each other. "Yeah, Tom came today, but it's okay, he's not dangerous or anything."

"T…Tom?"

Harry laughed outright. "Tom Kinney, my boyfriend. What Tom did you think it was?"

However, the professors weren't in a laughing mood. "Explain yourself." Said McGonagall sharply.

Harry took in most innocent look to glance at them.

"I met him at the muggle school. He turned out to be a wizard, home schooled y'know. He asked me out, I said yes… I really like him. He's a great supporter of you." Harry heard the mental snicker from Tom in his mind after his last sentence.

"We'd like for you to stay at Grimmauld Place with the Order for the remaining of the holydays." Said Dumbledore, blue eyes looking at the young man above his half-moon spectacles. Harry stepped back instinctively.

"No, I'll stay."

Albus smiled at the teen, eyes twinkling. "If this is about Tom, if you really trust him, he can tag along."

Harry remained speechless. He used this time to contact his lover telepathically.

Hey Tom, you'd like to spy yourself on the enemy?

What have you done this time love?

Me? Nothing! Dumbly just said you were invited at the headquarters of the Order.

Wicked!

"I'll ask him but I think he'll be ok" replied Harry, holding his laugh.

"We'll get you both tomorrow evening. We'll take a portkey."

Harry nodded and answered politely to the teachers' farewell. Once they had gone, Tom materialized at Harry's side.

"That man really IS too trusting. No wonder I managed to induct so much of my troops in the Order!" chuckled the Dark Lord.

"I know about Snape, who are the others?" laughed Harry.

"Nymphadora Tonks, Fred and George Weasley, Rose Fortson and Bilius Crive." Shrugged Tom.

Harry spun to face him, torn between shock and amusement. "Tonks and the twins? They're Death Eaters? No way!"

"Yes way. Tonks is a very bright young woman who has many contacts. Fred and George are both genius, you've seen their home-made pranks but they also made a lot of useful weapons for me. I believe their sister Ginevra is also Slytherin-like enough to consider joining my side, when she'll be a little older…"

Harry was watching him with eyes wide as saucers.

"Hey don't give me that look! YOU joined me, after all!"

"True." Said Harry, shaking his head out of amusement.

They spent the evening packing Harry's things and snogging every now and then.

The following evening, the two wizards were sitting in the living room when Dumbledore, Remus and Tonks arrived to pick them up. Harry introduced his friend to the adults. Tonks winked cheerfully at them. The headmaster produced a chain which they grabbed and were instantly transported in the House of Black.

"Welcome in the bird's lair, my lord." Whispered Tonks discreetly to her master. He nodded to her politely and hurried to catch up with Harry who already was greeting everybody in the kitchen. The young wizard introduced Tom to his friends. He couldn't help noticing the frown on Ginny's face. "Tom, this is Ginny Weasley." He said, a bit wary.

"Such a pleasure meeting such a fine young lady." Tom replied with a smirk, using the exact words the Tom from the diary had used four years previously. Ginny's eyes widened but she collected herself quickly. She raised an eyebrow at Harry who shrugged with a smile. The young witch looked back at Tom. "I'm glad Harry found a boyfriend, I hope you'll be able to keep him safe out of trouble."

In the evening, while Harry and Tom were unpacking in their chamber, Ginny opened the door, slipped inside and closed behind her very quickly. Tom sighed and cast a Silencing Barrier.

"Explain." Asked the witch sharply.

"I needed peace. If that meant joining Voldemort, so be it. Even better, we fell in love." Spoke softly the boy-who-lived. The red-haired girl nodded in understanding and looked expectantly at the Dark Lord.

"I had sensed through the bond that Harry had changed his views. I guessed it would be better for the Dark Side to have Harry Potter as an ally. It helps that he's such a cutie…" Tom added with a wink to his lover.

"I don't trust you." Snapped Ginny at Voldemort. The tall man cocked an eyebrow.

"And that is very wise of you. Don't trust anyone." He advised.

"Listen Gin, I trust him, but I only can because I know him enough, I can read his mind through the bond. And he knows he can trust me. I don't expect you to suddenly be his best-friend, just to keep us safe." Explained Harry in a soothing whisper.

Ginny scowled and considered what had been said for a few seconds. "Ok, I won't tell a thing. But I want something in exchange."

Harry sighed; Tom rolled his eyes and let himself drop on the couch.

"And what would you like, Miss Weasley?" the Dark Lord asked in a business tone.

The young lady smiled a genuine smile. "Just the safety of my family, and myself of course."

Tom nodded once. "No harm will come to them from me."

Ginny seemed to want to tell something else but she just shook her head and greeted them goodnight.

The following morning, a trip to Diagon Alley had been organized by the Ministry.

"Suuuch a long time I didn't came here!" laughed Tom.

Two Aurors were constantly tailing their arses and it proved very difficult to loose them in the crowd. Nevertheless, Harry Potter and Lord Voldemort weren't the two most powerful wizards in the world for nothing and gave them the slip at the first occasion.

They managed to slipped through the crowd to the twins' shop without being followed.

"Hello Harry!" called Fred from behind the counter.

"Hello Boss!" Added George with a wave of his hand.

"Hi!" replied Harry very cheerfully. Tom merely smiled.

The two red-head gave the young wizard the tour of their shop, explaining each new invention. Then, they led the dark lord and his companion in the back store where were kept their dark artefacts.

The twins presented some useful weapons, and nasty looking bone-like objects which could put on the holder a terrible curse.

"Wicked" said Harry.

"Wicked" agreed Tom.

Back in the front shop, they found the Aurors utterly mad and suffered through half an hour of reprimands.