Author/Banshee Queen: "Ok, chapter two is here guys. Much much longer than chapter 1 & I say to you now in all truthfulness that you are sure to have your decent share of laughs with this one! Read on!"

WARNING: This fanfic contains, in this chapter (& future chapters) swearing, adult themes, sexual references & violence.

Disclaimer: "I don't own etcetera, etcetera..."

Chapter 2: A Plan Is Born

As by Banshee Queen.

Complete silence.

Even though everyone was seated at the breakfast table, no one said a word. Word had spread like wildfire of the events that had occurred earlier on, and as said before, every male knew better than to open a mouth and comment. Woman always had a way of complicating things and always had a way of misinterpreting things too.

Arwen and Eowyn dangerously glared at Aragorn and Eomer seated on the other side of the table. They had been eating in silence for a full fifteen minutes before the ring ring of the phone broke the silence.

Pippin jumped up to answer it and pressed the 'loudspeaker' button. Surprisingly, Frodo had little hobbit-sized intercoms situated in each room of the house.

"Hello? Pippin speaking." Pippin said in his most polite phone voice.

"Aaah, Pippin, just the person I was meaning to talk to."

A chorus of groans and curses rose up from the table as everyone sagged lower into their seats. They all knew whose voice that belonged to, it had sounded all too familiar. Pippin slapped his forehead as a grimace marred his usual cheerful expression.

"Am I on loudspeaker? I have a very important announcement to make."

"Yes Gandalf." Replied the hobbit in an exaggerated tone.

The gang shuddered, sinking even lower into their chairs. Just hearing that name out aloud was enough to drive them to reach out for the nearest bottle. It was he and Elrond who had urged their parents/legal guardians to put them in the program, and it was those two which they all burned with the desire to stick their heads down the nearest toilet bowl.

"Patients don't forget we shall be meeting at the Party Tree in one hour. All patients are expected to have their suitcases packed and ready to board the bus. I shall be sending Dr. Saruman to check on you five minutes before the agreed time we leave. Be at the Party Tree 9:00am sharp. Don't be late!"

Beep. Beep. Beep. Beep.

The other line went dead as Gandalf hung up. Pippin slammed down the receiver hard and rejoined the table. Everything was silent as before.

"Ha, Party Tree." Commented Faramir as he threw in his napkin on his plate. "That's one thing we'll never be able to do again."

"Yeah." Chimed in Theodred.

"I mean it's not like we were taking drugs or anything," said Eowyn trying to sound reassuring, "we just had a few parties which involved a little alcohol, maybe a couple of bongs and…"

Everyone at the table lowered their brows at Eowyn.

"Ok ok we were off our faces, but we deserved it! We were just doing what every other normal teenager would do at a party! And it was only a few parties anyway."

"Nine actually." Commented Boromir who was picking his teeth with a toothpick.

"He he he, nine parties to match the nine black riders!" Laughed Haldir.

Eowyn and Frodo, who had both just recently been injured including a broken arm and being kindly stabbed near the heart by the Witch King; shot him a heat-searing glance.

"Can you believe that asshole gave me a broken arm? I couldn't move that bloody thing for three months!"

"Lucky I was there to save you eh Eowyn?" Aragorn said in the most seductive voice he could conjure.

"Yeah, and it was lucky that I got there in time to slap you across the cheek Aragorn before the situation would've gotten any further!" Spat Arwen from across the other side of the table.

"Ooooo now we're getting goss aren't we? Tell us more!" Piped up Merry.

"Yeah come on!" Joined in Pippin, eyes alight with intrigue. "This is a side of Aragorn that we've never heard before!"

Both Faramir and Aragorn looked none too happy about it as they shot a dangerous glance at the two hobbits. Elrohir seeing the trouble that would soon ensue, cleared his throat.

"Ok well that aside guys, whaddya' think they mean us to do on this bloody trip? I mean we're supposed to be wild-party druggoes' who sleep during the day and prowl during the night. I think they've got it all wrong about us."

"You're damn right they've got it wrong!" Yelled Elladan knocking back his chair as he pounded his fist on the table. "It's payback for those bitches!"

"Sit down you idiot!" Cried Elrohir pulling his brother back down into his seat. "One of those bitches is our dad you moron!"

Elladan went red in the face as everyone roared with laughter.

"Dude, I swear you get dumber by the day." Choked Eomer who was still laughing.

"You wanna' back that up ho?" Screamed Elladan into Eomer's direction as he sprung up out of his chair again.

"Yeah I think I do!" Replied Eomer as he scraped back his chair.

"Oh-oh." Frodo and Sam said in unison as they scrambled under the table.

"Guys, guys!" Yelled Aragorn over the scraping backs of even more chairs. "The fight is not in here you guys, its out there." He said pointing out the window.

"What, out there?" Asked Gimli who had raised an eyebrow along with the rest of the group.

Aragorn swiveled his head to the right, only to see Lobelia Sackville-Baggins shaking her umbrella at Bilbo, who in an inaudible conversation was clearly protesting by the shake of his head.

"No! That's not what I meant here guys. I-

"Dude," Cut in Amras, arms folded and smiling widely at the Ranger, "where the hell did you get that from?"

"Shut the hell up and listen!"

Arwen nodded in approval before Aragorn shouted:

"All of you!"

The hobbits looked stunned, even Eomer who was one of his closest friends.

"Guys, we now find ourselves at the mercy of those monsters out there, who have taken away our partying!" Cried Aragorn, pounding his fist on the table.

"Yeah those monsters!" Shouted Theodred, Elladan and Amras all jumping up in the air.

Haldir, Elrohir, and the girls all rolled their eyes, while Amrod hung his head in shame at the sight before him.

"They're gonna' use us like food!"

"What?"

"Huh?"

Questioned Arwen and the hobbits. By now everyone at the table was confused.

"Yeah like food guys! They're gonna chew us, swallow us, and sh-

"Let's not go there Aragorn shall we?" Said Faramir clapping his friend on the shoulder. "Don't worry dude we get the point."

"Ok well now that Aragorn has informed us of the interesting details that will soon-to-be happening to us, what are we gonna' do about it?" Said Lothiriel talking for the first time.

"We're gonna' kick their asses that's what!" Theodred said jumping up again.

"Thanks but no thanks Theo." Replied Lothiriel sitting him back down with a hand pressed to his shoulder.

"Why don't we try reasoning with them?" Suggested Amrod.

"Yeah it sounds reasonable and would portray us as- started Elrohir but was cut off by Eomer.

"-Badasses!" Yelled Eomer jumping up to slap Amras' hand.

"And here I was about to say 'mature.' Sighed Elrohir.

"Amrod is right you know," commented Faramir, "reasoning would be the best way to sort out this misunderstanding."

"Do you think that 'reasoning out this misunderstanding' would be the best idea Faramir when it was Elrond who saw you with a vodka bottle in one hand and Eowyn's cheek in the other?" Said Elrohir.

Eowyn blushed a deep crimson and bowed her head mumbling incoherently. Faramir growled under his breath. Eomer who looked at the same time mortified and surprised stood up from his chair and looked down at Faramir in disgust.

"Dude you never told me you made a move on my sister. Eowyn you never told me about any of this."

Eowyn rose her head and looked her brother in the eyes with a clear expression of disgust, surprise and anger.

"What the hell? What the fuck did you expect me to tell you? That I got busy with Faramir on his dad's throne in the Citadel?"

"Ewwww!" Screeched Frodo and Pippin.

"Helloooooooooooooo! Aragorn, Theodred, Elladan, and Amras all shouted in unison, jumping out of their chairs and all yelling at the top of their lungs.

Haldir, Legolas, Elrohir, and Amrod looked just as horrified as Eomer, whose face was going pale.

"Shut up guys!" Yelled Boromir over the confusion.

Aragorn, Theodred, Elladan, and Amras all stopped their yahooing to look at Boromir.

"Or what?" Said Theodred walking up to Boromir.

"Or I'll fucking break your ass in two, that's what." Replied Boromir. His broad shoulders and muscled arms seemed to block out any light coming through the window.

"I doubt it." Said Eomer standing beside Theodred.

"Do you now?" Said Boromir striding towards the Rohirrim Prince. "Faramir's still my brother regardless of what he might have done."

"And Theodred's still my cousin regardless of what he might have said, not to mention Eowyn who is my little sister."

"Oh God." Groaned Eowyn who was now hanging her head in shame.

"Ok just stop this shit right now! I'm sorry I ever said anything about that. I can't change what I saw or what I said, but let's get back to the main topic at hand. And you four," said Elrohir pointing to Aragorn and the others, "sit down. You're all making fools of yourselves."

Surprisingly, all four obeyed and sat down without a word.

"Now that everyone is back to normal," Elrohir eyed his brother warily, "let's begin by saying that we need a plan. Any suggestions?"

"We could maybe try talking Daddy out of making all of us go through with this stupid thing."

All the guys sniggered but cut off immediately when Arwen angrily stared at them.

"Well you try thinking of something you dumbassess. It's not like you've tried suggesting anything." She spat.

"What about if we just run away?" Sam suggested meekly.

"Oh yeah like that would work!" Arwen shouted, towering over the timid hobbit. Sam cowered even lower.

"Whoa geez Arwen, settle down! He was only trying to help." Said Aragorn soothingly.

"Whatever." Mumbled the Elf as she crossed her arms and legs.

"Guys we gotta' face the facts," said Amrod as he stood up, "they're not gonna' budge. We all know Elrond is a tough guy and he won't change his mind about a decision once he's made it."

They all nodded in agreement.

"None of them are gonna' change they're minds, not when they saw what was going on at our parties." Said Eowyn.

"Yeah dude, I mean when Gandalf saw that bong in my hands…well lets just say I nearly died that night." Said Theodred ending quietly.

"The booze, the drugs, and maybe the sex," Elrohir said eyeing Eowyn and Faramir at the same time, "did not help us one bit with them seeing what was really going on at our so called 'hanging out' sessions. We all no that my dad and all our parents, guardians, whatever, aren't gonna change their decisions to take us out of the god forsaken experience which lies ahead of us, so the question is what are we gonna' do now?"

"There is only one thing to do in a situation like this." Voiced Aragorn scraping back his chair to stand. All eyes were intent upon him.

"We make their lives hell."

Smiles reached the lips of every face at the table.

"We make living with us each day a battle, we drive them over the edge, we push them to the point of exploding. Then, then my friends they will have to let us go and pull us out of the program."

"We'll put potatoes in their beds!" Shouted Sam as he stood up on the table.

"And live frogs in their soup!" Chimed in Pippin. Everyone knew out of the hobbits Pippin was the ring-leader of pranks.

"Whoopee cushions!" Yelled Eomer as he too stood from his chair.

"Who's with me?" Aragorn cried, eyes alight with mischief.

"Hell yeah bro!" Shouted Elladan as he practically threw his chair halfway across the room.

Soon the rest of the gang followed suit, with the girls, Legolas and Haldir the only ones looking reluctant to convert. Pretty soon everyone was on their feet cheering and yelling at the top of their lungs. Everybody stopped though when they realized Elrohir and Amrod were the only ones still seated.

"So whaddya' say guys? You in?" Aragorn asked with a smug grin on his face.

Elrohir and Amrod both sighed in unison.

"I guess if there's no other way, then yes." Accepted Elrohir. The cheering rose up again. "But we do this tastefully guys," he began again in a serious tone, "no shitty pranks that are sure to backfire on us and get us caught out."

"Agreed." Aragorn said as he shook their hands.

"Ok well what do we do now?" Asked Frodo innocently.

"Fuck look at the time!" Screamed Lothiriel pointing to a clock hanging on a nearby wall. "We've got half an hour to get all of our shit together!"

There was a loud chorus of chairs scraping back and dishes being piled into the sink as everyone scurried about the house like a swarm of ants whose nest had been disturbed.

"Merry! Pippin! Get those dishes washed right now!" Yelled Faramir over the confusion.

"Why us? Not all of this is our mess!" Merry called back.

"I don't care who's mess it is, just get it cleaned up!" Faramir yelled, a hint of irritation tingeing his voice.

"What if we don't wanna' do it?" Asked Pippin adamantly folding his arms.

Faramir growled as he was being pushed into the hallway by a tide of Elves.

"Then I'll pound your little assess into the ground. Just do it!" He yelled back.

Both hobbits pouted as they set about to the task. Every person had used at least two plates or a bowl including either a glass or mug. Yep, this was gonna' take a long time by the looks of things.