Munkustrap's Bad Day- Chapter 3

Munkustrap stared at the plant, its giant jaws agape and dripping with a rather nasty-looking substance. He couldn't quite understand why the plant was apparently named after Demeter- they weren't mirror likenesses, if you catch my drift- but he was sure that it must have some significance in the world of evil, so he nodded respectfully, and, unsure of what to do, waved 'hello' at it. Macavity glared at the silver tabby. "Fool. Why would you wave at a plant, even a plant of this high intelligence? You must bow to it and chant " 'Ocomogosiay!' ten times, and then sing 'Strawberry Fields Forever' backwards! Every good villain knows that!"

"Errr…alright." Said Munkustrap. He proceeded to do what Macavity described.

"Umm…OcomogosiayOcomogosiayOcomogosiayOcomogosiayOcomogosiayOcomogosiayOcomogosiayOcomogosiayOcomogosiayOcomogosiay!" He panted. That was fairly easy. However, how to go about singing 'Strawberry Fields Forever backwards was quite a mystery to him. He didn't even know 'Strawberry Fields Forever' forwards, much less backwards…

Three Hours Later

"Reverof sdleif yrrebwarts!" Munkustrap finally finished the grueling work of singing a human song he didn't even know backwards. Macavity nodded.

"I'm my darling Demi II was pleased." He said. "But- don't pursue a career in singing. PLEASE." He yawned. "It is time to sleep now." He said, pointing to a bed made out of a plastic bin filled with squirming, writhing worms. Munkus blanched. "Oh don't worry- you'll be sleeping in here!" Macavity reassured him, pointing into the next room, where another bed stood- this time, a plank studded with nine-inch-long nails. Munkustrap didn't even manage to blanch this time; instead, he made a sort of strangled sound in the back of his throat. "Have some nice nightmares, brother!" said Macavity and whisked out of the room.

It was dark…very dark, Munkustrap noticed. He swallowed, his mouth feeling dry, as he heard strange noises in the darkness. He had not dared to lie down on the painful-looking bed of nine inch nails, but as he stepped back, his fur caught in one of the particularly rusty ones and he fell back with a yell of dismay. The nails were very pokey, and painful to the touch- any way he turned, it was living hell. Finally, Munkustrap decided he would rather prowl the grounds in the dead of night then lie about tossing and turning upon a bed of icky nails.

Quietly, very quietly, he ascended from the depths of the Underworld, and crept out a window of the building that served as Macavity's Lair. Outside, the night was simply beautiful- lovely smells such as rotting garbage permeated the air, and the music of the night consisted of charming sounds like the scraping of a raccoon's claws against a dumpster, and a dog attacking its squealing, helpless prey. What better place to be?

"Munkustraaaaaaap!"

Munkus started in surprise, hearing a familiar yet unplaceable voice call his name.

Again it came. "MUNKUSTRAAAPPPPPPP!"

Munkustrap hesitated. In this shifty part of town, it must be a trap.

"MUNKUSTRAP, you fucking IDIOT! Look to your right!"

Munkustrap quickly turned to his right. A silvery apparition floated in the air. Munkus caught his breath- it was Old Deuteronomy! The apparition opened its mouth. He prepared for the worst.

"Munkustrap, why are you in this disgusting shady part of town?" the apparition asked him, looking 'round.

"Uhhh…" Munkustrap took a moment to think about this. "Because I'm going to become evil, and that means hanging around in the disgusting shady parts of town?" he suggested uncertainly. On a second thought, he bared his fangs at it. That was a much more effective way of communication, he'd been told by Macavity.

The apparition of Old Deut frowned. "But you can't be evil! You have to avenge me!"

"Avenge you?" said Munkustrap, his pea brain not being able to comprehend a large word combined with another word.

The apparition rolled its eyes in exasperation and waved its paws. "Yes, avenge me! Avenge my death!"

"But you're not dead!"

"Ohh." The apparition was now the one who had to stop and consider this. "Oh, who cares whether I'm dead or not- yet! You need to avenge my impending death!"

"But your death isn't impending!" yelped Munkus.

"Fine! Just avenge me then- by being good, not evil! Your brother deserted the tribe, you fool- why in the Heaviside would you join him?"

"The Heaviside's not a very big place." Pointed out Munkustrap annoyingly.

"Alright…then in the Heaviside, in Hell, in Limbo, and in McDonalds." Muttered the apparition of his father. "Whatever. It doesn't matter. The point is, you're being a very naughty Jellicle Protector, and you really ought to stop being evil right now and avenge me for some reason which I do not know. Or else."

"No way, Josè!" exclaimed Munkustrap. "You're just an apparition!" And without another word he turned and slunk back through the window and into his room. What a stupid apparition. He thought annoyedly.

Though he did have to admit- talking to an infuriatingly annoying apparition was a bit more fun than lying on a bed of nails.

Author's Notes: Now, I don't mean to toot my own horn or anything- but I do have to say, I'm pretty proud of myself for updating semi-quickly this time. XP I hope you guys liked this chapter…personally I thought the other ones were a bit funnier, but I did like writing this one. Oh, and much kudos to anyone who gets my parody of a certain part of a certain famous play in this chapter.

Le gra go dèo,

Eponine