Warnings: A fair bit of language, violence, references to slash, and way too much insanity for one's own good. Do note: This is a rather long one-shot, (in fact it is over nine thousand words long). Get yourself a drink, grab a bite to eat, and be prepared for a longer chapter than might be the norm.

Author's Notes: Well yet again I find myself the victim of another plot bunny assault. This time it was Momiji as the culprit, which shouldn't really surprise, as he is a bunny and all. Don't take anything too seriously in here, as it's dripping with randomness and Momiji being a very scary bunny indeed! Anyone out there have horrifying baby-sitting experiences in their past? Me too! This one's dedicated to all of us who suffered much torture and got absolutely nothing out of it! Enjoy!

The Evil Within

Sometimes you get more than you bargained for. That being said, it's also apparent that sometimes what you get isn't even close to what you bargained for. For instance, let's say hypothetically that you went to a fast food restaurant to order a small chocolate milkshake, Basic. Simple. It should not cause any problem at all. Now suppose that by a strike of good fortune they tell you that there are no more small cups so they'll just have to give you a large for the price of a small. Bonus! All seems well until you take a nice big gulp of the milkshake and discover the milk in it to be more than a few days past it's good date – lesson learned: Some things are just too good to be true. Hatsuharu is about to learn this the hard way.

It was a Friday evening, and like many a Friday before Hatsuharu Sohma was both broke and bored; the latter the result of the former. Yes, things were not looking too well for Haru. Despite making quite a few desperate phone calls to the usual suspects he had yet to receive any response. Hell, he didn't even get an answering machine!

So, he was more than a bit shocked when he got a phone call early on that fateful Friday evening, a phone call that would change his life…in a very bad way!

At the sound of ringing Haru threw himself off his bed, which he had been moping on, and dashed to the phone as fast as he could.

"Hello!"

"Hello Haru, how are you?" It was Hatori on the other end, which usually meant that something was up.

"Well, I guess I'm okay."

"That's good to hear," Hatori replied, "because I have a proposition for you."

'Maybe this weekend won't be a total waste after all,' Haru thought, before asking what was perhaps most important about anything he decided to do. "Does it involve money or doing something?"

"Actually, it involves both." Haru detected something in Hatori's voice, which sounded oddly enough, like… relief? He didn't think on it very long though. He was bored out of his mind and would gladly have helped put a girdle on someone the size of Fat Bastard if it meant getting out of the house – getting paid for it just made any deal that much sweeter.

"I'm listening."

"How would you feel about hanging out with Momiji over the weekend? I was supposed to watch him, but I'm leaving soon and will be gone until tomorrow afternoon. I know Momiji is your age, but I don't think it's a good idea to leave him by himself for that long."

"No, I get it." Haru said, but truthfully he didn't get it, At least not all of it. Like the reason why he would be getting paid to spend time with his girly cousin, when he spent time with him at school as it was and didn't get paid for that.

'Than again, if I charged for that than I wouldn't be so fucking broke in the first place!'

"I don't expect you to baby-sit him," Hatori began, "just stay with him to keep an eye on things."

"Sure!"

"I'll pay you a bit for watching him when I get back, as I'm sure you have better things to do with your weekend than this."

"Umm, well, yes!" Many times it's just better to bullshit and get paid, and as I've mentioned before, Haru was in need of some cash.

"Okay, well I'll be here with Momiji until seven; stop over then." And that was all Hatori said before saying goodbye and hanging up, leaving a much confused but happier-then-before Haru holding on to the phone and shaking his head.

Haru just had time to shower, pack some stuff he would need for the weekend, and eat dinner before it was time to head over to Momiji's. He threw on his jacket, grabbed his backpack, stuffed his wallet into his back pocket and started out the door and into the lightly falling rain.

He thought to himself that it was too bad it was raining. It the weather were nicer he would be able to take Momiji out to do something, but it looked like the outdoors would be out of the question, especially since the forecast for the next few days looked bad. Really bad. Rain, wind, hail, all of it was predicted and there was no way in hell that Haru would be spending his weekend cold and soaked with pieces of falling ice plummeting to his head! Or at least, that's what he told himself.

Soon he was letting himself in the front door of Momiji's house and to his doom…but he didn't know that – couldn't really.

Walking into the sitting room he found his blond cousin glued to the television, watching something seemingly horrible with lots of high-pitched girly yelling and bright colors. Haru shuddered. Hatori was sitting in a chair facing away from the TV. 'Which is probably the smartest thing to do,' Haru thought. Who knew what the long-term effects of watching Momiji's TV shows could do to someone. Haru fought against another shudder and failed miserably; Probably makes someone shit them self to death.

"Hi." He waved at Momiji and Hatori. A giant grin spread across Momiji's face when he saw Haru, and for just an instant Haru swore it looked almost 'evil', but he quickly disregarded that idea and took a spot on the opposite end of the couch from his cousin.

"I guess I'll be off." Getting up off the chair he was sitting on, Hatori motioned for Haru to follow him out of earshot from a certain hyperactive midget.

'I just sat my ass down!' Haru thought, but decided to follow anyways just incase it involved something important. Somehow he really didn't think so.

Once they were near the front door, Hatori reached into his pocket and pulled out a white sheet of paper. He gave it over to Haru before any questions were even asked; he in turn just stared at it like it was quite possibly the dumbest thing in the world.

"A number where you can reach me at. There's also emergency number's on there."

"Oh."

"Remember to lock up if you go out, and if you do try cooking something please keep an eye on it."

Pretty damn obvious, is what Haru was thinking, but he wasn't about to say that out loud.

"Also," Hatori began, than looked like he thought better of it and stopped.

"Also?"

"Also, remember that Momiji is less mature than you so be sure to keep an eye on him at all times."

"Sure, no problem." He stated this all matter-of-factly and didn't catch the worried look written all over Hatori's face.

"If it's possible for something to go wrong than it most likely will." Hatori said darkly, "You best be keeping that in mind."

"Umm…right." Hatori was acting weird, actually much like a complete nut-job is closer to what Haru was thinking at that moment, but he wasn't about to say it. Although he had to wonder what had gotten Hatori so worked up. Akito driving him up the wall? Bad yakisoba? Momiji? No, not Momiji, but what was it?

"Well, I'll get out of your hair. Have a good time and remember what I said." And just like that he was walking out the door and leaving Haru in complete control of the situation. Poor unwary Haru, maybe if he were listening closer he would have heard Hatori mumble what sounded awfully like 'Sucker' under his breath. But he wasn't listening, and he wasn't prepared in the least.

"Haru! Haru! Come watch TV with me!"

"Sure." Haru mumbled, already dreading what was sure to come… evil, insidious cartoons! One's that came from some sick, demented individual's mind after too much cocaine – at least that was what Haru thought of them.

"Hurry up! Blues Clues is going to start!"

At first, he was able to block it from his mind. The bright colors, the horrible voices, and how utterly stupid the whole program was, but after awhile Haru was starting to crack. It started fairly early on while watching Blues Clues. A character would say something just a little too idiotic and Haru would wince – almost in pain – and then a commercial would come on advertising some shampoo for kids with singing and dancing and stupid annoying children wearing bright colors. That's when Haru's incessant wincing would turn to minor convulsions, and Momiji never noticed because he was singing and dancing along with the show. Freakish.

Eventually Haru couldn't take it anymore – he had to change the show or with out a doubt he would die, a horrible, agonizing death.

"Momiji?" He said softly, trying to gently take Momiji's attention away from all the bright colors and terrible screeching.

"Mmm, yeah?" Momiji was still watching the screen and didn't really hear a word.

"Why don't I change this and put a movie on?"

For the briefest of instants Momiji's eyes left the TV and focused on Haru, before getting sucked back to the screen in short order. "Movie?" He mumbled.

"Yeah, I can put on a movie. Wouldn't you like that?"

"Okay!" And quicker than Haru could follow, Momiji was off the couch and going through a bunch of movies by the TV.

"Well that was unexpected." Haru muttered walking over to look through the videos with his cousin.

Momiji looked at him questioningly. "What was that?"

"Oh nothing, nothing!"

After nearly a half an hour they decided on watching something PG. Young enough for Momiji to watch, yet not so stupid that it would land Haru in a coma. Haru put the video in the VCR and went off to the kitchen in search of some junk food.

Searching, searching, found! Haru held up a package of microwave popcorn to the sky and smiled broadly; wonderful, fattening popcorn. He put in the microwave and went to look for pop in the fridge – almost made it all the way there too, that was until he heard the movie.

"Ahh, yesss!"

'What the hell was that,' Haru thought. It sounded suspiciously un-PG movie like, of course he'd argue that he had no idea what it sounded like. Naturally we'd all believe him…

"Yeah! Touch me there!"

"Oh! Pinch my man tits bitch!"

The quest for pop now officially abandoned, Haru started back towards the living room, the notion of what he was to find becoming clearer with every hesitant step he took.

"Wow," he started, then thought better of it and added, "Momiji what the hell are you watching?"

His cousin turned to him with a look of shock, and horror. "I…I don't know… it's the video you put on." Haru threw himself in front of the TV screen, partially so Momiji couldn't see and partially so he could watch it better himself.

He would have left the porn on longer, but thought better of it and quickly turned it off, especially since Momiji seemed so disturbed by it. He also worried about what would happen if Hatori found out he had put a porn tape on for Momiji, and quite frankly the thought scared him.

How a porno had gotten in a different case was definitely odd though. More than odd, Haru thought to himself, basically impossible. Especially since he didn't know how a porno would have been in the house in the first place, and he was sure he would have noticed if the video was different than the case it was in.

"It was awful!" Momiji was now having an all out breakdown – sobbing and everything. "I saw people naked, and they were doing stuff!" More crying.

"Well, umm, I don't know what to say"

"Me either! Hatori's going to be mad when he finds out!" Momiji was still crying, but it was at least starting to abate and become replaced with a different look. One Haru wasn't sure he had seen before.

"Look," Haru began, thinking quickly. "I don't really see why we would have to tell Hatori this." He didn't really think that Momiji would have even thought of telling Hatori, but apparently the kid was going to be more of a liability than Haru first realized.

"Oh, but we must tell Hatori!" Momiji implored, no longer crying and with a glint of something that looked surprisingly like secretive intent in his eyes. Wait! Haru did a double take of his cousin, and sure enough – intent! Of all the many looks he'd expect Momiji to have (usually happy, sad, or hyper as hell.) any form of intent was not one of them; especially as it seemed to be almost, well, malicious.

"But, Hatori will freak if we tell him and we'll both be in trouble! You don't want that, do you?"

A slow smile made itself apparent upon Momiji's face. A grin that continued to grow with every passing second, until finally stopping at just the right place to make Haru want to run and find a happy place. Preferably one with a rainbow and a couple of waterfalls, oh and a few puppies wouldn't hurt either!

"Oh, but that's where you're wrong Haru." The little blond boy was insinuating something, of that Haru was certain. He was also sure of the fact that whatever it was, it wasn't good. Not good at all!

"I wouldn't be the one in trouble, you would." Momiji made his way over to the couch and sat down, crossing his arms and legs in unison and sending a deeply unnerving glance at Haru.

It clicked and fit together in the unfortunate teens mind with the force of a rocket colliding with his skull. Momiji – evil. The thought normally wouldn't have occurred to him, but there it was bright as midday in the Sahara. His normally bubbly, happy, hopelessly girly cousin was in fact going to treat him like a piece of crap. And probably get something of benefit out of the whole ordeal to boot! It pissed Haru off royally, and terrified him too.

"You…! You little…screw you!" The words just weren't coming out right at the moment so Haru decided to stamp his foot in protest, as it seemed easier to just hit something.

"I'm not going to be the one who's screwed when this gets out." He stated matter-of-factly, while checking out some dirt that was stuck under his fingernails.

Haru watched in disgust for a moment, until he remembered that he was supposed to be raving mad at his cousin – rather than grossed. In the end he settled on being both.

"But…" Hatsuharu began, trying not to look pathetically desperate, but to no avail. "But…but…"

"But nothing." Momiji finished, looking up from his grimy fingernails. "Of course, there is an easy way out of this."

"What?"

"Simple. Pay me all of the money you're getting paid for babysitting me."

'Evil and creepy' turned to 'fucking little inbred', when Haru considered what that particular member of his family seemed to best represent. It was just a lucky thing he hadn't taken a trip down Black Haru land yet, as without a doubt he would have flayed Momiji to within an inch of his life – and that would have been the least violent outcome. Haru then thought that Momiji probably harbored secret evil bunny powers, or something even more heinous and he wasn't sure if he wanted to put his skills to the test against that kind of match-up. Someone would likely die, and after gaining a tad more insight on Momiji's character he decided that it wasn't the ideal way to kick the bucket.

"Well?" Waiting rather impatiently, Momiji looked like he was making the biggest business venture of his young life, which in fact he probably was.

"No."

"Fine then. You won't compensate me for my trauma, I'll just have to see to it myself!" He raised himself off the couch and started making his way to the kitchen, just stopping long enough in front of Haru to shoot him an icy glare followed by a smirk. Haru had no idea what he could possibly be up to in the kitchen. Not really much in there to do when you get right down to it, he thought. Food, a few appliances (Haru shuddered at the thought.), a table, a phone, a few power outlets, a phone, a dying poinsettia, a phone… A phone! Shit!

He made his mad dash for the kitchen and found, to his horror, Momiji on the phone chattering away to what was most likely Hatori.

"…Thank you very much and have a wonderful evening!" Momiji chirped in a high-pitched voice, thick with false sincerity. He hung up and turned to a very, deeply disturbed looking individual. It just so happened that Haru was deeply disturbed. Near tears to be quite honest, although it can't be known whether they're tears of frustration, self-pity, or unexpressed anger: likely all three.

"Momiji…what have you done?" It was a quiet question, muttered through clenched

teeth.

"I made a phone call!" Was the cheerful reply.

"I could see that." Haru took a deep breath, trying not to lose it, but damn, he wanted to. Badly. "Were you talking to Hatori?"

He got no answer though, as Momiji raced to the door leading outside, and before Haru could make a move he was gone.

"That's so freaking unfair!"

Ten minutes came and went soon followed by fifteen, yet Haru didn't move. He stood rock still; staring at the door his charge had run through. With no energy left, and no real compelling desire to run after the brat he decided to stand there for awhile and let the shock just sort of settle in. That way, he figured, if he passed out from the sheer horror of it all at least he wouldn't end up sprawled out in a back alley.

The idea of standing there for all eternity did hold some special appeal to him, yet a sudden knock at the door scared him half out of his stupor. Walking up to answer it, he almost expected to see Hatori standing on the other side, perhaps with a baseball bat in hand. That wasn't what he found though.

"Pizza." It was a boy barely older than Haru, dorky, and wearing the stupidest uniform he had ever seen. The words 'Mr. Slicy' were written across the blue hat and shirt the kid wore.

"What?"

"Umm, didn't you order a pizza?"

Scratching his head in bewilderment and frowning at the sheer strangeness of it all, Haru could only nod negatively.

"Are you sure? 'Cause I have an order that's supposed to be delivered here." The pizza boy was getting annoyed. No, more like pissed off to be precise. It hadn't been a very good day for the kid, having gotten his underwear wedged up his ass more than once. After that there was the whole pizza delivery gig he was doing, and his boss happened to be one of the biggest pricks in town.

"No, I'm sure I didn't order pizza." Haru replied sharply, already making his way over to the door to shut it on the guy.

He gave the heavy front door a good shove and waited for the inevitable loud noise it would make upon slamming. It never came. It's funny how human fingers have a way of taking an impact like that.

"Ahh! My fingers! My bloody fingers!" The poor pizza boy was jumping up and down, yelling like a crazed maniac and holding the fingers of his right hand tightly in his left. It didn't look good. In fact, Haru was almost certain that he glimpsed blood dripping from the hand, but he couldn't be sure.

Haru said a few 'oh shit's!' and went over to the other boy to see the damage.

Indeed there was blood, and the fingers were slowly turning a nasty purple color, which left Haru feeling ready to vomit, and the pizza guy a pathetic whimpering mess on the front doorstep.

"It hurts! It hurts so damn much!" You dipshit!"

"I'm sorry, I really am! I didn't mean to slam your fingers in the door…" And on and on the apologies went. Haru was rambling…like a dipshit. It wasn't helping his

case.

"Why don't I just pay for the pizza?" Haru suddenly asked, struck by momentary genius. Or was it a muse? Either way, he thought he had solved the problem and started fishing around his back pocket for his wallet, and the tiny amount of money he had in there. Enough to cover the cost of pizza, he hoped.

"Oh you better damn well be buying the pizza now! I know a few people who would gladly whack you if I gave the word!"

"That's nice." Haru said this as he leafed through his wallet looking for a little cash. Just a little. Any. None.

"What the hell?"

The pizza guy was eying him questioningly, with a bit of an evil glint in his eye. Haru had no doubt that if he didn't come up with the money – and fast, he would surely be a very dead pretty boy in no time at all.

"Look," Haru began diplomatically, "I know this is going to sound bad, but I seem to have misplaced my money."

"Yeah, that sounds bad for you." The pizza boy was reaching into his jean pocket and to Haru's horror; he pulled out a small knife.

"Uh, why don't we settle this like calm, normal people…okay?"

"Oh, so I'm not normal now, is that it?" He was walking slowly, and very deliberately towards Haru, with the knife held in front threateningly.

Haru felt something coming on, and not in the good perverted sense either. His could feel a loss of control about to happen – one he struggled to prevent every time things got bad, and he knew right away that he wouldn't be able to stop Black Haru from making an appearance.

The pizza boy stopped dead in his tracks. Something was simply not right. The fear that was in Haru's eyes was suddenly gone and replaced with madness. He backed up a step. A cold smirk made it's way slowly unto Haru's face and he stepped out towards the now frightened 'Mr. Slicy' boy.

"Not so tough now, are ya 'Mr. Slice my ass open'? Looking a little bit like a pussy."

The boy stumbled backwards further. "You're a psycho."

"Oh", Haru's smirk grew, "am I? Am I really? Do you wanna see how psycho I can be? Huh?" He grabbed for the other kids knife and had it in his hand before the boy could even blink. "Please don't kill me!"

"Well…let's see… how do you feel about torture, my bitch?"

"Ahhhhh!" The kid dropped the pizza and fled, screaming and likely peeing himself to near death. Haru looked down at the pizza on the front steps and smiled to himself, and than instantly couldn't remember how it had gotten there and where he had found the money for it. Poor bastard.

He shrugged to himself and picked up the pizza despite his misgivings, carrying it back into the kitchen. There sitting at the kitchen table was Momiji, grinning like the Cheshire Cat with a really good secret.

"Where did you come from?" Haru sat the food down forcibly on the table, and plunked down in a chair across from Momiji.

"The backdoor." The little brat replied casually, pissing Haru off royally with his display of nonchalant attitude.

"Oh."

Both sat in silence, neither one wanting to break first. Momiji won, naturally.

"Well, aren't you at least sorry or something for being such a pain in the ass?"

"Nope, should I be?"

"Should you be? Yes you should be! You've been nothing but trouble since I got here! You're horrible! That crap you watch on TV gives people seizures! Seizures! And I did not put the porno on! Hell, you probably did to get me in trouble, didn't you?" Momiji said nothing.

"I bet you did you evil freak! And then you run and phone Hatori and blame me for it, and run off and leave me to deal with a bloody pizza order that I didn't even make! Wait a minute! You ordered the freaking pizza! It must have been you!"

"I'm sorry." Haru stopped his tirade when he heard that, and did a double take.

Momiji was crying with his head in his hands.

"I didn't phone Hatori, I ordered pizza to make up for the porn joke."

"Oh. Really?"

"Yeah," Momiji mumbled through tears.

"Then I'm sorry too." Haru stated. "Although I still don't know how I paid for the pizza."

Momiji stopped crying and laughed a little bit. "I paid for it. Don't you remember?"

"No. You did?" Haru looked shocked, "I don't even remember paying for it! I must be going nuts."

"Or maybe you just need some sleep? Why don't you eat some pizza and crash for the night?" Haru considered the idea and nodded his assent. He actually felt a little tired and he figured that an early bedtime might do him some good.

Both boys ate their pizza in companionably silence, watched some TV, and then went to bed. Haru went to the guestroom to sleep, while Momiji went off to his own room to sleep for the night. Or, at least that's what Haru thought he was doing.

He was having a nice dream, the kind where nothing bad ever happens and everything seems to go your way. First he went shopping in his dream, and bought really hot pleather pants on sale at a wickedly cheep price. After that he ate some chocolate ice cream, while surrounded by pretty people. Just when it appeared the dream could get no better, Yuki stepped from the crowd and took Haru's hand, smiling broadly. Haru grinned back and was going to suggest they go for a walk when Yuki interrupted him. "You must wake up."

"What?"

"You must wake up or it will be your doom!" Yuki insisted fervently. Haru just stared, not understanding at all. Slowly his dream world started to fade around him, all the while Yuki muttered over and over about Haru's need to wake. Soon even the vision of Yuki was gone from Haru's mind and instead he found himself staring up at a much less appealing white ceiling.

"What the hell?"

He grumbled, and he mumbled, and bitched and complained a tad too. Soon however, his sense of dread kicked into overdrive and he decided he might as well check in on Momiji.

Momiji's bedroom door was pink – a very disgusting fuchsia shade of pink, which made Haru want to find a nice big hole to die in. He fought down the urge to puke and reached out to knock on the door. He was met by silence, so he tried his luck again. "Momiji, you in there?"

Nothing. Haru quietly opened the dreaded pink door to peek inside, and noted that there was a little rabbit nightlight in the corner of the room shining a little light into the otherwise dark bedroom. In the single bed that sat beside the wall, Haru could make out a small lump beneath the blankets.

"Hey, Momiji." He said quietly, walking over to the bed and sitting down on the edge. "I had this really weird dream. You awake?" He nudged Momiji and found that he seemed a little light, and squishy – light and squishy like a decoy Momiji. Flinging back the blankets, Haru's worst suspicion was confirmed. Momiji was gone and in his place was a pile of dirty laundry, very disgusting dirty laundry to be exact.

"I'm going to kill that little shit-head!"

It didn't take Haru long to gain a bit of an idea on how the escape work was accomplished – and even he had to admit Momiji had done an awesome job of it, a high compliment coming from Haru, considering his own extensive experience in sneaking out. Both the front and back doors to the house were still locked from the inside with the chains across, which ruled out an escape that way. Even Momiji's bedroom window was locked, and it was only after some searching that Haru noticed the little unlocked window in the bathroom that lead out onto the roof of the front porch.

He grabbed his signature white jacket, the keys to the house and his wallet – completely empty of money – and went out the same way as Momiji. After all, Haru figured, there's no better way to find out where someone's going then by the way they left.

After managing the tricky climb down the side of the house, Haru stopped in the front of the yard and tried to imagine where Momiji might have gone. The bars were definitely out, as there was no way Momiji looked old enough to be there, even if he had a fake ID, which Haru doubted he'd have anyway. That still left quite an amount of things to do in the city, although toys and fun probably topped Momiji's to-do list, so Haru started off in the direction of the arcade.

It was now after eleven, and despite the hour, the streets were still busy. Although it could be said that most of the people were on their way to and from bars and dance clubs, a past time of Haru's when he snuck out with his fake identification.

Haru was almost at the first arcade when he came upon a hooker – a male hooker – a male hooker who looked distinctly familiar.

"Hey babe, want some fun?" The streetwalker suggested, coming up to Haru and looking him over, only to stagger back in surprise and walk away.

"Holy shit! No bloody way!" Haru yelled out in shock, finally realizing who it was. Covered in make up, and wearing tight leather pants, knee high boots, and a leather tank top, was none other then Akito Sohma.

"Shh!" Akito shushed, with his back against a dingy building wall. "No one can know I'm doing this – if you tell I will most certainly have to kill you." Akito looked pensive. "Slowly." He added as an afterthought.

"But why the hell are you a whore?" Haru leaned up against the wall beside Akito, still in a bit of a daze with the new information.

"Because."

"Because why?"

"Because I'm addicted to sex – and if I get paid for it, even better."

Haru really didn't get it, but was willing to pretend he did anyways. "Oh. That's… interesting… I didn't know you were into guys."

Akito laughed. "Then you, my demented cousin, are a complete idiot."

"Sorry, no offense. It's not like I'm following the straightest section of highway either you know." Haru wondered if he should have told his rather unstable, slightly crazy and controlling cousin that, but didn't have long to ponder the decision before Akito snorted and rolled his eyes.

Haru held his breath. The last time Akito tried rolling his eyes, they got stuck and Hatori had to be called – Akito wasn't exactly the healthiest person in the world: Hell, he just wasn't healthy, period.

Akito turned to look at him, and his eyes weren't stuck in the back of his head, to Haru's relief.

"Like I honestly didn't know – cows are stupid. Everybody knew you couldn't keep your hands off of our dear little Yuki." Akito positively purred on Yuki's name, and Haru had to fight down the urge to flee screaming for his life. Obviously certain people out there, namely Akito, had weird sexual fetishes and stalker potential.

"Uh, sure… anyways I better be going now." Haru was already walking away at a quick pace before Akito could give a response, and he didn't slow down until he was inside the arcade building.

"Momiji! Momiji!" He started his search, doing a double-check on every kid he passed who seemed to be of Momiji height – in other words – really, really short. He was about to give up all hope on finding the little brat, when he noticed a short kid with blond hair playing Dance Dance Revolution in one corner of the room. He smiled sinisterly, and started stalking up to his prey, reaching the boy and grabbing him by the back of the neck.

"Pervert! Get the hell off my girl!"

The purse seemed to come out of nowhere when it whacked Haru right upside the head. Haru didn't even have time to look at who had hit him before he had his arms wrenched behind his back and a set of handcuffs were being put on him.

Whoever had him from behind started talking about his rights, although Haru wasn't paying much attention as he saw the scene unfolding.

The child he thought was Momiji turned out to be a little girl, and she was crying her eyes out and being consoled by a woman who appeared to be the girl's mother: The very same woman who hit Haru with her purse.

He winced from the pain still aching in his skull, and tried to calm his self down, as things didn't look good at all. And from what he could tell from the police officer that had him, things were about to get a lot worse.

Haru paced. Back and forth, to and fro, side-to-side, all around the tiny cell he was placed in. So far Haru had deduced that this was the worst time of his life by far, and that there didn't appear to be an end in sight. He had lost Momiji in the middle of the night, he had assaulted a little girl, and now he was in detainment because of it.

The cell was bright white and gave off the impression of being rather cheery, which made Haru all the madder. He was not in a cheery mood, in fact he would have much rather been locked up in some crazy's dungeon, perhaps shackled to a wall.

"Hello there, we've got a friend for you!" The guard that was on duty that night, a tall and plump middle-aged man with a very dry sense of humor, opened the cell door just long enough to put another person in with Haru.

If Haru could have found a way to flush himself down the toilet and get away, he would have. Perhaps he wouldn't have to find a way. Maybe if he played his cards right his new cell mate would chop him into a thousand tiny pieces and flush him down the great porcelain bowl. As it was, he estimated that the time he had left to live was to be measured in minutes. He smiled and his new cellmate gave Haru a look that would stop any axe-murderer in their tracks. Perhaps minutes was too much, seconds suited more…seconds.

The other occupant of the room was (to Haru's best estimate) about seven feet tall and perhaps ten times heavier than Haru was. To call the other man big was a gross understatement. He looked to be in his mid-twenties, and from the look of it they were indeed hard years. The man wore a pair of rugged-looking black jeans and a black tee shirt under a dark leather jacket, and the look he was giving Haru from across the room was sheer ice.

Haru sat down in the furthest corner away from the other man and held his legs tight against his chest, rocking back and forth like a little child – or a very insane individual. The other man didn't even glance at Haru, and instead chose to stare at the stark white wall against which he sat. He apparently didn't feel the need to mess with those who already have a great many issues.

The night wore on. Haru shifted position in the corner many times, but never moved from it, and the man across from him did his part and never crossed over to Haru's 'side' of the cell, although at least he had stopped staring at the wall and now was picking at the cuticles of his nails. Haru yawned, which in turned caused the other man to yawn, and then glare at Haru. Haru didn't yawn after that and the silence continued.

After what seemed to be hours in the little room Haru found his eyes getting heavy, and before he knew what was happening, he drifted off to sleep.

"Wake up, someone's here to see you." Haru's head snapped up as he was rudely awakened from his sleep by a guard's loud booming voice. This guard was short and dark haired, a new one for the morning shift.

"Who is it?" He mumbled irritably, standing up from his cramped position on the floor and stretched out his sore muscles.

"It's me!"

"Oh God no!" Haru did a double take, and then groaned inwardly. For sure enough the person on the other side of the cell, smiling happily was none other than the person who had gotten him into so much trouble in the first place. Momiji.

"How are ya?" Momiji was doing his best innocent act, and from the looks of it had already managed to charm the guard into thinking he was the cutest little kid on the planet.

The aforementioned guard was grinning and shaking his head, walking off down the hall and mumbling something or other about how dear children are. Haru felt the urge to vomit and had to fight it back. To think he used to believe the same thing, and he felt a cold shudder run up his spine.

"I suppose I could be better, Momiji. How did you know I was here?"

"Oh, I have my sources." He replied childishly.

"I bet you do. And just where the hell were you last night?"

"Out. But unlike you, I'm not locked up. You must have done something really bad!"

Haru felt his blood pressure start to rise, and bit back a quick retort he was going to make. Quite possibly it would have kept him in jail longer. "You did do something bad, you took off from home."

Before Momiji could formulate a reply, the guard wandered back over to the boys, and another person was following along behind.

"Oh hell." Haru's eyes went big very quickly and his pulse started to jump to an unhealthy level – in fact if things continued the way the were presently going then a full blown panic attack was not necessarily out of the question.

"Why hello! Aren't you glad to see me! You are so lucky that I came when I heard about the trouble you were in! You will be happy to know that I am an expert at getting people out of prison!" Ayame was positively beaming from the other side of the cell as he walked up to the bars and stood beside Momiji.

"Don't you worry about a thing, I know just how to get you out of here! Leave it all to spectacular me!"

Hearing this particular piece of news Momiji couldn't help but have a huge, sinister grin on his face. Haru felt like crying, for in his mind there was no one in the entire world less qualified at getting someone out of prison – there was no way in hell that Ayame would be able to get him out of there, and even if hell froze over it still wouldn't be happening.

Haru slumped down in his corner of the cell again and put his head in his hands, sighing defeat. "How did you know I was here?"

"Well that's easy!" Ayame exclaimed, posing flamboyantly in the process. "Akito phoned me up and said you were in this dreary corner of the world. I simply couldn't leave family to rot in jail, so I came at once!

"Did you tell anyone else?"

Ayame frowned, "why would I tell anyone that, surely the way rumors fly around here they'll know soon enough. I never knew you had the same wonderful taste as I! Why, you should have told me, we could have had such fun! Although I must say that what you did was very sick and wrong."

Haru had a vague suspicion in the back of his head that whatever Ayame was rambling on about, it couldn't be anything good, and that worried him a great deal. "What do you mean 'fun'?"

Momiji ran quickly out of the room with his hands over his mouth, and it was quite apparent that he was laughing his ass off. The guard who was standing around watching the exchange quickly left the room too, although it was likely he was checking to see what was wrong with the 'sweet little boy' and didn't have a clue on what was actually transpiring.

"Why you sexually assaulted a little boy! If you came to me first then I could have saved you the trouble! You just can't go around and do everything in plain sight when you get the urge; it's much better if you simply seduce people with your good looks. That way you don't end up here! Well, perhaps you've learned your lesson – no more raping people, okay?"

"Okay?"

"You okay?"

"Hello! Are you listening to my sensual voice?"

Haru slowly looked up from the floor and made eye contact with Ayame, and that's when he lost all semblance of sanity that he had managed to retain up until that point.

"Holy fucking shit! It was not a boy! It was a freaking girl! I did not rape her! I grabbed her! I did not do it intentionally! I thought it was that shit-head Momiji! Damn I'm going to kill him!" He stopped his tirade and took several deep breaths to calm himself. "I really just want to get out of here, okay? I'm sorry but I really don't think you can manage that."

Ayame actually looked thoughtful for a moment, with a far off look in his eyes and a finger twisting through his hair. At least, Haru hoped it was a thoughtful look and not just a sick daydream or something.

For once, it seemed as if luck was actually on his side, for eventually Ayame's look of contemplation ended, and he smiled broadly, telling Haru that he would be right back.

He left in the direction that Momiji and the guard went off in earlier, leaving Haru totally confused.

Seconds turned to minutes as he sat in his cell waiting, what he was waiting for he was not entirely certain of. He honestly didn't believe that Ayame would be able to do anything about his situation, although he did not truly think that he would have left without at least stopping back by the cell to chat.

Ayame may have been a flippant, flamboyant homo who was obsessed with himself, but if he said he was going to do something, more often than not he did.

And just as Haru was on the verge of giving up all hope of seeing him again, there he came, striding into view from down the hall with the guard in tow. The former looking as if he hadn't a care in the world (which he most likely didn't) despite the fact that his hair which had previously been worn loose down his back and smoothed to perfection, was now up in a very messy braid. On further examination Ayame's clothes appeared to be rather rumpled, and that gave Haru a sickening suspicion – a very sick one.

Haru didn't have much time to think on his hunch, as the guard was unlocking the cell and letting him out. Haru gave a quick wave at his former cellmate, who in turn didn't even acknowledge Haru's leaving. That didn't matter at all to Haru, as he couldn't believe his luck as he was led out of the jail, and he would have been happy even if the guy had waved him the finger and shouted death threats. He was gone from there and that was all that mattered.

It was only a short time later when he was back outside, wandering down the sidewalk towards a small bakery for breakfast with Ayame.

As soon as he was released from prison it became apparent that Momiji had run off again, and as per usual nobody had any idea where the little brat had gone. It was now nine in the morning and all Haru knew was that Hatori was supposed to be back sometime in the afternoon.

Nothing more specific than that was ever mentioned, which meant that however unfortunate it may be, he had to find Momiji and have him back at the house by twelve noon – or he was screwed.

Both sat down at a corner table next to a window in the café and started to go over options for capturing Momiji.

"I could wait for him at the house and hope he comes back." Haru tentatively suggested, but Ayame shook his head negatively at that and took a bite of his fruit salad.

"He won't head back home. I think your best bet for catching him is to stalk him out at his 'usual locations'"

"His usual locations?" Haru would be lying to himself if he said that the idea had occurred to him; it hadn't, although now that he thought about the concept it seemed to be the best idea.

"Yes." Ayame played with a piece of his hair considering the next move. "I would think that toys, candy, and little girls clothing stores would be his typical hangouts…now I don't know that for certain, but he does like his sugar and dress-up. Almost as much as me!"

Haru decided he would let that last comment of Ayame's slide, and pretend he never heard it. Getting disturbed by the only person willing to help him would just not be practical. "Okay." He declared decisively, sipping back the last of his coffee he was drinking and rising to his feet. "We're not going to catch him sitting around here; there's not enough sugar to draw him in."

"Oh, if we must!" Ayame made a bit of a show of getting to his feet, and hastily made his way to the door, leaving Haru to follow along behind.

"So," Haru ran to catch up to Ayame on the street. "Just why are you helping me?"

"I once had the horrible misfortune of babysitting Momiji." He began, dramatically. "It was chaos! Utter chaos! I still have deep emotional scars from the event, and I vowed that night I babysat that if I lived to see the morning I would help anyone else who got stuck with the job!"

Haru felt as if he actually knew what Ayame was talking about when he said 'emotional scars.' He wouldn't be getting over this kid-sitting job unscathed either. "Well, thanks, I guess."

"Oh! Don't mention it! Just think of me as the baby-sitters guardian fairy!"

Haru stopped dead in the middle of the sidewalk, as Ayame continued walking. He quickly blocked that particular comment of Ayame's from his already disturbed mind, adding it to the already large quantity of repressed memories. Once he was finished he started walking again, and forgot the comment ever occurred.

"Where are we going to find Momiji?" Haru asked when he caught up with Ayame.

"Toys R Us." He stated matter-of-factly, grinning a little at the look that crossed Haru's face. Obviously Haru felt rather stupid for not thinking of that place before.

The building was big, bright, and full of exuberant children. None of this did anything to help either Haru or Ayame in their unease. Haru glanced at the clock on the wall above the automated doors they had just walked through, and it was already ten-o-clock. Time was running out, and if they didn't find Momiji here…well, Haru didn't want to think about what might happen then.

They both split up, Ayame taking one half of the huge toy store and Haru taking the other. It seemed to be an insanely busy Toy's R Us. Kids were running in all directions, and more often than not there were parents running after them, screaming at them to 'get back here before I ground you.'

Haru tried not to pay much attention to the chaos and mayhem that was surrounding him, but it was impossible, and it didn't help matters that such a large percentage of the brats running around were short, blond, and whining.

He passed an aisle of stuffed toys, stopping only long enough to check out a cute little dairy cow stuffed animal that looked, uncannily, much the same as his zodiac form. When he read the tag and learned that it was a 'mad cow,' he decided then and there that if he survived the next couple of hours he would be back to buy it.

The next aisle was comprised of all things robot and transformer related. Unfortunately that area was filled with kids, and Haru had no choice but to wade through the group of young boys to search for Momiji. Of course, as luck would have it, there was no Momiji present, but Haru did gain a few new bruises from being pushed around by the brats.

As he left the insane group of boys behind and moved on towards the next aisle of toys, he felt suddenly as if he was getting closer to his target – and then he saw the sign for the next toy section: Barbie.

"Here I come you little pain in the ass!" He mumbled vehemently under his breath, before stalking up to the aforementioned aisle of girly toys.

The aisle was almost empty of children – almost being the key word. Standing right in the middle of the aisle, ripping open a box with a collector's Barbie in it, was Momiji.

Haru coughed loudly, and Momiji looked up from the Barbie doll in surprise, his shock at seeing Haru quite apparent.

"Missed me?"

"No, not really." Momiji replied, trying to sound casual and failing miserably.

"I didn't think so. Well, Hatori is going to be back soon and you're going to be at the house when that happens, whether you like it or not!"

Momiji had the audacity to look pensive. "Nope, not happening."

"Oh," Haru began, advancing menacingly on the boy, "it is happening."

"You can't make me!" Momiji yelled, backing up a few steps in the process and nearly walking into a tower of Barbie dolls.

"What…the…fuck…gave you that idea?" Haru growled, rushing forward and grabbing Momiji by the front of the shirt.

"Because," he stated simply, "if you try and force me I'll scream for help." He smiled at the thought and made a motion like he was going to follow through with the idea, only to have Haru's hand clamped down on his mouth.

And then he bit him.

Hard.

Enough to draw blood, and make Haru's eyes water. Yet, Haru did not let go, he only clamped his hand down harder, grabbed Momiji around the shoulders, and started walking him towards the exit.

Momiji struggled of course, and the scene did not look good to the odd passerby who happened to look, but nobody stopped to say anything.

They came closer and closer to the door, and Haru grinned a little at his apparent triumph over evil: Momiji. He wasn't even struggling against Haru's grip anymore, rather he walked along without prodding – perhaps his own form of surrender?

Whatever the reason for Momiji's dejected compliance, Haru didn't care. All he knew was that it was making his job much easier, and he couldn't help but be happy for that small respite. That is precisely when little blonde brat chose to strike, Elbowing Haru painfully in the gut and running for the doors of the store.

Haru gasped in pain and sank down to his knees to catch his breath, watching in horror as Momiji made his running escape for the door. His run for the exit was so fast that when Ayame jumped out in front of him and blocked his path, he fell right into him, allowing Haru the chance he needed to run up to the two sprawled on the floor and grab Momiji around the neck.

"That was so fucking close!" Haru gasped, hauling Momiji to his feet and offering a hand to Ayame.

"Hmm, yes it was. You're just lucky I saw him running for the door in time." Ayame was brushing off his clothes, and sending a very chilling glare at Momiji. Quite possibly the worst thing one could do to piss of Ayame is to get his clothes dirty, and a crash to the floor in a busy Toys R Us did just that.

"Umm, well, thanks, and sorry you had to end up on the floor."

"Why thank you, but don't be sorry!" Ayame stated, waving his hands around. "It's Momiji who should be sorry, and I think we'll just have enough time to march him back to the house!"

So, they set off, Momiji in the middle being shepherded by Haru on one side and Ayame on the other. Marching is what they did the whole way there – aside from Ayame who had a bit of a strut going on.

They walked through the door at exactly noon. Ayame said goodbye, glared, not-so-good-naturedly at Momiji, and left.

"I did it." Haru mumbled tiredly to himself, still holding Momiji by the back of the neck incase he got the idea of going off on his own again.

It was only minutes after they had arrived when Hatori came walking through the door, looking absolutely refreshed and energetic, making Haru feel even more fatigued than before.

"Hello Haru, Hello Momiji. I assume you enjoyed your time apart from any adults." Hatori was smiling broadly, and it took all of Haru's might not to walk right up to him and punch him in the face. As it was, Haru had made a fist with his hand and was biting his lip to keep from doing just that.

"Oh, yes." Haru stated very flatly, and he gave Momiji's neck a squeeze, which looked to be friendly, but was actually starting to draw blood. "Oh, yes…fun." Momiji added quickly, before Haru's grip tightened anymore.

"I'm glad to hear that. And since you were so good to spend time with Momiji, I have something for you Haru." Hatori reached into his coat pocket and extracted something, handing it to Haru without even looking at it. It was a couple of bills rolled up, but Haru didn't want to appear too eager, so he quickly put the money in his pants pocket without so much as a glance at it.

"Well, I better be going." Haru picked up his bag from beside the door and stepped out of the house before anyone could stop him. He did even worry about saying goodbye.

It was sometime later, as he sprawled out on his bed, writing random bad poetry about dismembering Momiji when he remember the money he was paid. Wasting no time, he quickly fished around in his pocket and extracted the payment.

All ten dollars of it!

"Ten…fucking… dollars!"

Fin