Disclaimer: If I owned Teen Titans, the leader of the Doom Patrol wouldn't have treated Beast Boy that badly in "Homecoming"
A/N: I know, I should be working on "Trust Me" but this idea came to my mind. I hope you like it. BbxRae of course!
Hidden Love
By: Ellivia22
Raven
It's a normal Wednesday afternoon. No crime and no combat practice. Robin had decided to give us the day off. I'm in my room meditating. It's pretty much the only place I can go to get some peace and quiet. Here I won't be bugged by Beast Boy's failing attempts to get me to laugh.
You know you love him Happy coos in my mind. I roll my eyes. A couple of weeks ago I came across a horrible discovery. I am in love with Beast Boy. Beast Boy of ALL people! I mean, he has to be the most annoying of them all, but yet, I love him. I still don't understand why, but ever since I discovered my love for him, my emotions have been driving me crazy. So now the only thing I can do is fight crime and meditate. Beast Boy will never find out about my feelings. He could never love me back. Our relationship wouldn't last. I mean, I know I'll always love him, but I don't want my powers to end up hurting him. Or worse, killing him.
"Raven, dinner!" Beast Boy's cheerful voice rings through the halls. I pull my hood up and exit my room, determined to act as normally around Beast Boy as I can. I enter the kitchen, finding the others sitting around the table, waiting for me to join them. My heart sinks when I realize the only seat available is the one next to Beast Boy. Try and remain calm I order myself. I fly over and sit at the table. Tonight's menu is pot roast, except for Beast Boy of course, who's eating a salad and a slab of tofu.
Dinner goes on like usual. Robin talks about his new training tactics to anyone who will listen, who is always Starfire. Beast Boy and Cyborg are arguing about who's better at video games. And me? I'm in my own little world just thinking. Suddenly Beast Boy breaks into my thoughts.
"Hey Raven,"
"What?" I say, annoyed that he broke my concentration.
"Why did the skeleton not cross the road?" Beast Boy asks, giving me a toothy smile.
I roll my eyes. Not another joke I think to myself in annoyance. "Why?"
"Because he didn't have any guts!" Beast Boy finishes, cracking up.
I sigh. "The teller doesn't have any brains."
The others crack up by my sarcastic remark.. My eyes widen when instead of the usual scowl Beast Boy wears when I retort to his jokes, his ears droop and his smile is gone. Guilt floods through me. I open my mouth to apologize, but Beast Boy quickly gets up from the table and leaves the room. I stare after him, not able to understand why my comment affected him so much. I always make sarcastic remarks to his joke. He always ignored them. Why is it so different now? The others are quiet. I pull up my hood to hide the tears that are rolling down my cheeks. I just hurt the guy I love, all because I had to be so stupid! Robin clears his throat. "Raven, I think you need to apologize to him."
No shit, 'fearless leader' I think to myself in annoyance, but I say nothing. I get up from the table and exit the same door that Beast Boy did. I quickly glide to his door. I knock loudly. "Beast Boy! It's me, Raven." I try to open the door, but realize it's locked. I glide through his door and find that he's not there. I turn and leave, my heart pounding. For ten minutes, I search the whole tower, looking for the green changeling. But he's nowhere to be found. I'm about to freak out. What if he does something drastic? I ask myself in worry. The last place I need to look is the roof.
I open the door of the roof and step outside. A stiff breeze knocks my hood down. I sigh in tremendous relief as I see Beast Boy sitting at the edge of the tower, his legs dangling. He is staring at the moon. I find myself transfixed on the sad teen. His shoulders are sagging, his ears drooping. Strong emotions start washing over me. Emotions of confusion and self-hatred. I've never felt emotions so strong from any of the others. Guilt weighs on my chest as I remind myself that it's all my fault he's in this state.
I walk over and sit next to him. "Hey," I say quietly. My presence goes unnoticed. I can feel his heart rate accelerate just by me sitting next to him. "Beast Boy, I'm sorry for what I said." I whisper, my eyes falling to my lap.
Silence falls between us. His eyes are still set on the moon. I'm starting to get really worried. Finally he speaks in a breaking voice. "Raven, why do you hate me so much?"
I am completely shocked by his question. He thinks I hate him? I ask myself in confusion. Why would he think that? I mean, I know I don't exactly act friendly towards him, but I do it to protect him from my powers. "What are you talking about? I don't hate you. We're friends, remember?"
His eyes stay transfixed on the moon, saying nothing. Then he turns so that our eyes meet. I'm shocked as I stare into his emerald eyes. I've never seen him so sad, in so much pain. And it's all my fault I think to myself miserably. Beast Boy speaks. "Every day, I try everything I can think of to get you to like me, to get you to smile. And no matter how hard I try, no matter what I do, you always shoot me down. You always take down what I say and abuse it to make fun of me. It really hurts me, Raven. And it always seems like whatever I do, whether in battle or not, always irritates you. I just don't understand what I'm doing wrong." He pauses for a moment. "Raven, I love you. Please tell me what I can do to get you to like me."
He looks away, focusing back on the moon. I can see a small tear slide down his cheek. I am stunned. I've never realized how much I've been hurting him. I try to protect him by forcing myself not to laugh at his jokes. I am not sure what to say, because the guilt is weighing on my mind. But I know I must say something. "Beast Boy," I begin softly. "There is something you must understand. I do NOT hate you. You are my best friend. Yo-."
"Could've fooled me," Beast Boy mutters bitterly. I ignore him.
"You must understand about my powers. I don't laugh at your jokes, because I'm afraid of what my powers do. I don't want to hurt you. I truly do think you're funny and I deeply appreciate what you try to do. But I can't show emotion." I pause again.
Beast Boy turns his attention back on me. He gives me a serious look. "Raven, I understand that you can't show emotion. I understand that your powers are dangerous. But I don't understand why you must hurt me all the time by making sarcastic remarks about whatever I do or say. You say I'm your best friend, but you don't treat me like one."
I lower my head in guilt. The events of dinner flash back into my mind. My comment, his reaction. He's right. He doesn't deserve half of the things I've done to him. Tears start rolling down my cheeks. I pull my hood up to hide them from view. My sarcastic remarks are what I use to hide my love for him. "I'm sorry," I whisper. A sob escapes my throat. "I'm so sorry for all the horrible things I've said. I never meant to hurt you. I only say those things to control my powers. I only act this way to hide my feelings for you." My heart pounds as I realize that I had just told him my feelings. But there's no going back now.
There is another uncomfortable silence. "Have you ever considered giving love a chance, Raven?"
I nod, lowering my hood, exposing my tear-stained cheeks. "Yes, to Malchior."
"Did love affect your powers? Did anything blow up? Did anything dangerous happen?"
I think long and hard. "No."
Beast Boy turns my chin so that our eyes can meet again. "Raven," he says in a hoarse voice. "Do you think you could give love another chance? Do you think you could give me the chance to show you how to have fun? Do you think you could give me the chance to love you?"
I look away, my heart pounding against my chest. I want more than anything to love him freely. But I don't want to harm him or the others. "I am afraid." I'm starting to feel scared. I can feel a strong desire pulling me towards him. And a part of me terrified of what the outcome could be. Is he right? Does my powers not affect love? I decide to get up, but before I can, Beast Boy leans in placing his lips gently against mine. I feel as though all my troubles have disappeared. Without thinking, I kiss him back, closing my eyes.
I'm not sure how much time has passed by, but fear consumes me.I suddenly break away, my body trembling. "I can't do this," I whisper, trying to break free, but Beast Boy holds me tight.
"But Raven, look around. Nothing happened. Nothing blew up. Love is an emotion that you can feel. Please," he says, his eyes pleading. "Don't push me away. I love you."
I look around, noticing that nothing has changed. No broken windows, nothing's damaged. Perhaps he's right. Maybe love is an emotion I can feel.
Go for it! Love commands in my mind.
I smile back at him. "I love you, too," I say, pulling him towards me and closing the gap between us. I am lost in a world of passion and love.
We break apart again. Beast Boy gives me a toothy grin. "Hey Raven, knock knock."
I roll my eyes, but still smiling. "Shut up, you're ruining the moment." I murmur, pressing my lips against his again. A while later, we're staring at the moon together in a lover's embrace. I shall never doubt again. As long as we always have each other.
The End