Disclaimer: I don't own gundam wing

WARNING: this is a DEATH FIC! It contains the death of a character!
Note: Thanks to deathsangel for het beta work and fot helping me with some difficulties!

Silent Motions: Prologue

Damn it. Why did he have to come? Why did he have to be there now? Why couldn't he just have left me the hell alone? I had gone trough so much trouble, trying to bury that part of my life and I had even succeeded, but his presence just fucked that up for good.

It had been just a normal day for me, as normal as could get at least. Get up way too early, even before the sun, work my ass off for 12 hours, excluding the two short breaks to get a bite, get home, shower –it was Wednesday, I always showered on Wednesdays and Sundays– and hang some on the couch, watching TV, to fall asleep there instead of on the bed.

And then that damned consistent knocking in my dream.

Now, my dreams could be quite unusual and I knew it was because of that time I'd pushed away long ago, so I just let the knocking in my head go on, hoping it wouldn't turn into a nightmare. But it didn't come very regularly. You see, these sounds are usually constant and regular, patterns even, or just monotone, but this knocking was different. It was infrequent, the pauses were irregular and it didn't stop, it just kept coming.

Until I figured it wasn't just in my head. Someone was knocking on my door at... oh well, it was only 23:30, so I guess it could've been worse. But I was usually asleep by then anyway. So grumbling, I pushed the spare blanket away and forced my body off the couch. More knocking came anyway, the walls were thin, couldn't whoever was out there hear that I was moving?

"Yeah, yeah, I'm coming, sheez!" It was never a good idea to wake me up. Whoever did do so had better have a damn good reason about it.

When I opened the door there stood a man. He was quite a normal guy, I guess, a bit smaller than me, hair tousled, which was common here on L2, dark pants, grey jacket, dark shirt or whatever showing from under it, that was all I could see from where I was standing. Couldn't see any features. He didn't do anything, just stood there, his hand held up as if he were about to knock again, but now he didn't move that arm down, didn't speak, just stood.

So I spoke first. "Yeah?" If I'd given in to my emotions I'd be yelling at him for showing up late at night, but I knew better manners than that. Whoever it was, no good would come out of provoking him. For all I knew he could be drunk as hell and thinking he was at his own front door. Drunken people were never good. I knew how I could get when I got drunk. Didn't want to say anything wrong to anyone who was as bad a drunk as me.

But this guy didn't seem to be at the wrong door, for he spoke. "Duo?" His voice was horse, just above a whisper, as if he were suffering from a cold or just hadn't spoken in a while, but I didn't care. He spoke my name.

I narrowed my eyes and hardened my grip on the wooden door. Was I supposed to know this guy?

"Yes?" I said, more urgently. I did not like being fucked with.

The guy took half a step forward, his face now coming into the poor lighting and I suppressed the urge to step back.

"It's m..." The voice stopped as I studied the face, the dark features, the piercing dark eyes, the dark hair being everywhere on his forehead He let out a sigh and I could see the warmth of his breath condensing in the cold night air. "Heero." He said.

He stressed the name, so that one would know he didn't mean the English word 'hero'. Quite a funny name to give to your child. Wasn't Heero some big important guy who promoted peace, or something along those lines? Well, this guy was too young to be that man, besides, if he were, he should've been buried below the earth. Then this person must've just had the misfortune of having an idealiser as a mother. Ha, to name your child after an ideal. Not my first choice if I'd ever have a child to name.

Anyway, the guy saw me shaking my head that it still didn't ring a bell and he blinked before he tilted his head a bit. "Pilot zero-one?"

Now that took a minute to get trough.

Damn it, all those images came flashing back at me, must've been quite funny for him to look at, but I never actually saw his face, for I stumbled back into the house, muttering probably incoherent things under my breath and I slammed the door in his face. I have no idea how long I stood there, just staring at the door, shaking, cursing and God knows what else, but when I opened the door again he had made himself comfortable on the scrap opposite of my front door. He looked up at me, as if I'd startled him in his thoughts, but once again he didn't move, waited for me to take the first step.

I started to speak, but I couldn't. I would've lied if I told him he was welcome, because really, he wasn't. Once I'd realised who he was again I just wanted to tell him to get the hell out of my life and stay out, but I'd start wondering and remembering anyway now, he might as well just stay long enough to tell me what he wanted. So I just turned around and walked back inside, leaving the door open. He understood the invitation.

I waved towards the couch to indicate he should sit down on it while I escaped to the kitchen. There I turned the water on to show him I was busy and leaned back against the wall, making sure I was out of Heero's sight. Then I tried to rationally get my mind to look things over.

First, there was a boy sit –excuse me, man– sitting on my couch, one I hadn't seen in what? Five years, at the least. Second, said man was from a past I had tried to bury so deep so long ago, a funeral I'd finally been able to finish a couple of months after taking over Hilde's scrap yard. I had pushed it all away, locked it up safely and thrown all the keys out of my life. Even Hilde was gone now, I thought with that there would be nothing left. Yet right now a key was sitting on my couch, digging up the box and opening it mercilessly right under my nose. There were reasons I'd wanted to forget those things, damn it!

But as if that weren't all, there's a second as well. If it were Quatre or Trowa showing up at my doorstep, it would not have been as bad as it was now. Because the second issue, however cliché, was that I had at one time been in love with this man sitting on my couch. Or at least I had a crush on him. Whatever it was I'd felt, it had felt real at that moment and the first time I'd felt something for someone of the same gender.

Basically I just wanted to curse him into hell.

Silence returned to the kitchen and it was only then that I realised with taking a shower and all I didn't have much water left for the day. I'd have to save it up for at least another fifteen hours before the tank would be full again, that was how things were arranged here on this scrap-colony. So now I was out of water as well.

Goodbye to my morning coffee, looked like I was facing a very ugly morning, first my past haunting me, then no caffeine to wake me up properly enough. Damn that Heero for showing up on my doorstep in the middle of the night and damn him for my not even remembering his last name!

I sighed as I realised I'd have to get back in sooner or later and then opened the 'fridge to see what was left in there, non alcoholic, of course. Orange juice? Was that the best I could do? Making sure I missed the date on the pack I poured two glasses and carried them back inside, only to find Mister fucking... whatever his last name was again already more than half-asleep on my couch, using the spare blanket. I gritted my teeth. Great, so now he was acting like he owned the place as well? I put the glass down on the table and just looked at him. He stirred a bit, then fluttered his eyes for a moment before opening them and glancing over the table, noticing the glass and turning his gaze to focus on me.

"'m sorry, did you say anything?" I blinked. No, I didn't say anything, I was dead silent, the house was dead silent apart from his shifting.

I crossed my arms and narrowed my eyes, then just mouthed a 'no'. He nodded and then moved to take the juice, while I was watching him. I tapped my foot on the floor, watching him, making sure it was only my foot that moved, but he did not react. I started humming, but he just stared at his hands, as if lost in thought. As if! Something was wrong here and I waited for Heero to look up, only to find he was glancing over my lips first. Only when he found those tightly shut, he moved his gaze to my eyes.

Then I mouthed him: 'Heero, are you deaf?' and watched his gaze shift down to my lips again.

He looked taken aback by it and suddenly seemed to find the simple glass in his hand very impressive. I moved to stand closer to him, to get his attention back, but he refused to look at me any further.

"No." He finally said. "Not... not permanently, they think... not 100 percent..."

Oh great, so now not only would I have to deal with my past in the morning, missing the pleasure of caffeine, I would also have to remember that this particular past couldn't hear anything. God, I desperately needed some sleep. I'd have a busy day tomorrow, luckily, I must add, I would have to pay for this piece of junk over my head one way or another. But I knew my biological clock had set itself to give me just enough time to rush to the scrap yard. I'd have no time to talk to him in the morning. And I refused to take him there in the morning. What to do, what to do?

Fortunately, it was he who got up and spoke first.

"You want me to leave."

It was a statement and a fact. Yes, I wanted him to leave. He knew I wouldn't lie about that, or at least he sounded like he knew. But did he really? Did he know me at all, me, the way as I was now?

So I told him when he was looking at me, could see my lips again. "Yes, I want you to leave." And I said more. "But I'm not allowing you to. It's not gonna help matters any. You're gonna sit back down on the couch and you're gonna fall asleep –real sleep, not that fake shit you just pulled– and you're gonna sleep tight. And tomorrow when I get up you're still gonna be asleep and while I'm at work you won't leave the house, you won't shower, you will get yourself something to eat and drink and then you will sleep some more. And when I get back from work you will answer my questions and I pray you are still there when I get back because now that you made this choice it's gonna haunt me one way or another, Mister Heero Yuy, or else."

Yuy! That was the guy's last name!

He looked ready to speak, but blew it off at the last moment to let himself fall back in the couch again, tiredly closing his eyes. I turned on my heels, convincing myself that I should be the one being pitied because I would be the one with the damn nightmares again. The only good thing about this situation was that he wouldn't hear it anyway because he was deaf or something like it at least.

That didn't mean I missed his 'sorry' on my way out of the living room though.

End of part I

How did you like this? Are you bothered by the fact that Heero is deaf? Is tehre anything you don't like about it? anything else you want to comment? Please let me know. any comments are welcome

princess