THE TROUBLE WITH SLOTHS
Note: This is my first fanfic, so bear with me. Please read and review.
Disclaimer: I don't own Star Trek, or Sid (thankfully). I only wish I was Captain of the Enterprise.
Captian's log, Stardate 4327.6. Starfleet has sent the Enterprise to the distant planet Zwicky 4 to retrieve a specimen for study. Since Zwicky 4 is often confused with Zwicky 5, a signaling device has been put on the planet Zwicky 4 to direct us, so there is no confusion. We are approaching orbit of the planet Zwicky 4...Enterprise
"Mr.Sulu, orbital approach," Captain James Kirk said.
"Aye, Captain. Orbital approach," Sulu replied, entering the correct coordinates.The Enterprise slowly drifted into a graceful orbit around the planet.
"Mr.Spock, Mr.Chekov, with me," the Captain said, heading for the turbolift. "Mr.Sulu, you have the bridge."
Captain Kirk stepped onto the turbolift, followed by Spock, the Vulcan first officer, and Chekov. When they stepped off the turbolift, they went directly to the transporter room, where Doctor McCoy was waiting for them, along with the rest of the away team.
"An unidentified specimen from an unidentified planet," the doctor muttered as the away team stepped onto the transporter platform. "What next?"
Ignoring the doctor's comment, Captain Kirk gave the command to energize the transporter.
A few seconds later, the away team materialized on the planet's surface. "I hate that thing," McCoy said.
Spock opened his tricorder. "I am getting life readings from that direction." Spock pointed.
"All right, everyone," the Captain said. "Phasers on stun. Proceed with caution."
The members of the away team switched their phasers to stun, and moved towards the tricorder's signal. After walking for a while, they came upon a creature that was playing with a Starfleet-style beacon. Captain Kirk stepped behind a bush, motioning for the rest of the away team to follow. They all watched the creature with fascination.
"Keptin," Chekov said, in his Russian accent. "Vhat is it?"
"That's our specimen, Mr.Chekov," the Captain answered.
At this, the "specimen" picked up a stick and began violently beating the beacon with it. The security officers didn't quite succeed in resisting the urge to laugh.
Captain Kirk cautiously stood up and walked slowly over to the strange creature. Spock and Doctor McCoy followed him. The creature pointed the stick at them. "Aiee! Stay back! I have been trained in the mighty ways of... of..." The creature paused. "Fending you off with a stick!"
"It talks!" Chekov excaimed from behind the bush.
Captain Kirk looked down at the creature. "I am Captain James T. Kirk, of the starship Enterprise."
"Yes. And I am Sid. The Sid. The almighty Sid. And if you do not stay back, I will be forced to use... well... force!"
McCoy rolled his eyes.
Captain Kirk signaled for the security crew to join them and bring the cage for the specimen. The security crew came over with the cage, and tried to get the creature to go into the cage.
"What is that?" Sid asked.
"It's the Land of Perfect," McCoy said sarcastically. "You'll love it once you get in there."
At this, Sid willingly went into the cage. But once he was in there, he started to realize that the cage wasn't as perfect as he had been led to think. He started to throw himself violently around the cage, shaking the bars, and trying to escape, while yelling at the top of his lungs.
"Keptin," Chekov said. "Should ve do something about it?"
"No," the Captain answered. "It can work out its own problems."
"Are you sure about that?" McCoy asked.
Captain Kirk ignored him and took out his communicator. "Scotty, beam us up," he said. "And you might want to have a security crew waiting for us," he added.
"But why?" Scotty asked.
"You'll understand when we get up there."
"Aye, sir."
A moment later, they were standing on the transporter platform, back up on the Enterprise with the caged Sid, who was no longer throwing himself at the cage walls. He had resorted to banging on them with the stick he still held.
"Doctor McCoy, take this... this... thing to sickbay," Captain Kirk said.
"What!" the doctor cried. "I don't want it!"
"No, but Starfleet does. I suggest you do as you're told."
"All right," McCoy reluctantly agreed. "But I'm taking the security crew with me." He motioned to two of the security officers, who lifted Sid's cage and carried it out of the transporter room. McCoy followed them, muttering to himself.
Sid had finally stopped banging on the cage. "Where are you taking me? You evil kidnappers, you!"
"To sickbay," McCoy answered, not looking at Sid.
"What!" Sid cried. "I'm not sick! Let me out of here!"
"I don't think so."
"If you don't let me out of here, I'll... I'll..." Sid paused, trying to come up with a threat that actually sounded threatening. But, unable to think of anything, he went back to banging the cage with his stick.
Meanwhile, Captain Kirk, Spock, and Chekov headed back to the bridge. As soon as they reached the bridge, Captain Kirk said, "Mr.Sulu, set coordinates for Starfleet Headquaters. Maximum warp."
"In a hurry, Captain?" Sulu asked when he heard the order for maximum warp.
"Quite frankly, Sulu, yes, we are." Captain Kirk sat down in his chair. He pushed the button that would let him speak directly to sickbay. "Doctor McCoy, progress report," he said.
"What progress?" McCoy shouted.
"What's the matter, Bones?" the Captain asked, grinning slightly. "Isn't "Sid" behaving for you?"
"Not behaving! That's an understatement. It ran away!"
"What!" Captain Kirk cried. "You mean that thing is loose in my ship?"
"That's exactly what I mean."
Captain Kirk switched to the shipwide com system. "Full security alert. I want everyone to be on the lookout for a strange creature who calls himself Sid. Phasers on stun. Beware, he is armed... with a stick." Captain Kirk switched off the com, stood up, and left the bridge.
As soon as the Captain had left, Sulu turned to Chekov and asked, "What is this thing?"
Captain Kirk hurried down the hallway to sickbay. Doctor McCoy was there, next to Sid's empty cage. "Bones," he said, imploringly. "How could you let it get away?"
"Don't say it that way, Jim," McCoy said. "You make it sound as if I did it on purpose."
"What happened?"
"Well, we brought the cage in here and set it down right here. The thing had calmed down a little, and so I decided we should let it out, and see what it did," McCoy explained. "The security officers were right here, and I opened the door just a little bit. But as soon as I did, that creature jumped out of the cage and bolted out the door."
"Did you see which way it went?"
"No."
The Captain sighed. "I guess all we can do now is hope the security team finds it before it gets itself into trouble."