Disclaimer: I don't own anything to do with Crossing Jordan.

Unforeseen

Chapter 1 – Easing the Pain

The liquid burned its way down to his stomach, washing away his problems. He was depressed, more than ever. Slokum had taken so much away from him. He no longer felt he deserved the love and respect that he received from his employees. He knew he hurt them bad when he left. They all have so much on their plates and he just up and left, taking from them the stability that can only be found in a father figure. He was the father of the morgue and he knew very well the disappointment that they all felt towards him. This hurt more than a lot of things in his life. He no longer felt right telling them to do the right thing because he knew he hadn't. He was lost and the only thing that made him feel safe was the bottle of scotch that was tucked away in his desk drawer. Every time he felt depressed, alone, scared or any other burdening emotion he would pull it out and take a drink letting each sip wash away the painful feelings that had enveloped him. The drink had become his friend, the only thing he had left that wouldn't be disappointed in him, that couldn't be hurt by him. It was all he had.

He felt safe hiding in his office. He couldn't face them anymore, their looks of sympathy trying to hide the pain that plagues them all. He knew the pain each one of them faced; he could see it in their eyes. Jordan's eyes held a look of helplessness, the strong, stubborn woman he knew before, was now vulnerable, scared and alone. She couldn't get past the feeling of rejection that fills her and makes her feel unloved. She had loved Woody so much and now she couldn't push those feelings from her mind. Each time she faced him he would ignore her and hurt her. It had become his goal to hurt her. His love for her had turned to anger over night. He was insensitive and angry. His temper would rise at the drop of a hat and around her twice as fast. She would try to avoid him, but that hurt her more. His once warm, inviting blue eyes, had turned cold and distant during his hospital stay. All the stability that had held Jordan up had crashed the night Wayne Riggs pulled that trigger; she lost the man she loved and the man who had been a second father to her. Her eyes reflected all of this. She was alone and the walls were back, and this time they weren't coming down. Garret could see all of this each time he looked her in the eyes, he felt it safer to hide in his office where he didn't have to face them, those beautiful honey - coloured eyes, now so filled with sorrow. However, her eyes weren't the only ones that reflected the pain from a life of havoc. Lily eyes were also filled with sorrow. If you caught her when she was alone, her eyes were filled with regret and sadness. Losing her mother was so hard for her. She had always been angry with her mother and she could never forgive her, for all the things she did. Sure she loved her, but couldn't express it until it was too late. Lily blamed herself and now lived full of guilt. Her brother no longer spoke to her; he didn't want anything to do with her. He was a lost cause. Garret couldn't stand to look her in the eyes either. It hurt him too much. Even Nigel was still pained with the loss of Sarah. She was his soulmate and now she was nothing. She was gone and he was once again alone. At times you could see the look of loss in his eyes, when he was alone. He had kept a picture of Maddy and sometimes you would catch him looking at the picture, at those times his eyes were filled with loss and fear. He had loved Sarah so much but she hurt him and then she left him. He couldn't make himself move on no matter how hard he tried, he couldn't push her from his mind. She was always there when he closed his eyes, smiling. He had loved her. Garret couldn't look Nigel in the eyes either because he had caught a glimpse of that pain and it hurt him. Then there was Bug, who had finally admitted defeat with Lily and turned to his work, making himself believe he didn't need anyone. His eyes were filled with a sadness that fills one who feels alone. He was alone. Lily had rejected him; she hadn't wanted him, so he moved on, turning his love for her to his work. Now his job was what kept him going it was what he would look forward too in his life. It was all he had and worst of all he knew it. Even Sydney seemed to have an air of sadness about him. The morgue was Garret's family and a dysfunctional one at that, but he loved them, he loved them all. Therefore he had to be strong for them and he tried by hiding in his office. He couldn't spend one more day facing those haunting eyes. He wasn't strong anymore, he was weak and vulnerable, and Slokum had stripped him of his dignity. He was scared and his drink was what held him up. The thing that bothered Garret the most was losing Renee. He had loved her, he couldn't deny those feelings and then she got pregnant with another mans baby. He regretted so much losing her. She hadn't spoken to him since Lily's mother had been killed. He had tried to reach out to her, but she rejected him one final time. He had been ready to forgive her that night and beg her to forgive him, but she wouldn't let him. She pushed him away. Now he missed her so much, he still remembered the smell of her hair and the taste of her kiss. She had meant so much to him, but now she was gone. She had rejected him like Woody rejected Jordan, were they really all that different? He stared now into the empty glass and decided that maybe one more drink would help ease the pain. With this drink maybe all his problems would just float away. There was a knock at his door.

"Come in," he said.

"Garret," Lily said timidly, "I was wondering if maybe you wanted to go out and get a drink tonight and talk?"

"Not tonight, I'm pretty tired."

"What about Friday, I heard about this really great jazz player that is playing at one of the bars across town?"

"I'll see." He said flashing her a smile.

"Garret, is everything all right, you've kind of boxed yourself in here?"

"I'm fine, I'm still getting used to things. I was gone 2 months." He tried to sound convincing but he knew she could see past it.

If only he knew of the event that was about to take place, an event so horrible that his life would never be the same again.