Disclaimer: as much as Draco, Hermione, and the rest of the HP bunch would die to belong to me, they do not. All rights go to Miss J.K. Rowling.

Hermione looked up at the feast to see Draco Malfoy staring back at her.

"When did he get so sexy?" Hermione thought in a completely uncharacteristic way out loud.

Since the author hates Ron, he didn't hear this because he was shoving his face with potatoes, chicken, and rolls, all at the same time. AND his mouth was open.

For some reason, Ginny has become all knowing when it comes to relationships, so she gave Hermione a knowing glance.

Ever since the author decided Draco and Hermione were meant to be forever and ever Hermione's been super hott! And she wears her uniform skirt really short!

Hermione was broken out of her reverie by Dumbledore's voice

"like we all didn't see this one coming, Hermione bleeding Granger is Head Girl! And even though he's never done any thing good, he's bound to be a death eater, and he would rather Crucio my grandma then help her cross the street, for some unknown reason, Draco Malfoy is Head Boy! AND you should all start calling him the Slytherin Sex God, because every author does any way!" Dumbledore began, to a totally bored audience "oh, and they're going to share a common room, and a bathroom, AND a bed!"

At this point, Ron chokes on some bacon and dies.

The hall is silent.

"Eh, one of us had to die sometime." said Harry.

"Sure as bloody hell wasn't going to be me!" said Hermione

"and I was to sexy and slytherin to die" shouted Malfoy from across the hall.

"Well, it's not like it really makes a difference. I've got about 10 more brothers anyway. Ron was the stupid, talentless one, after all."

"Here's to that!" bellowed Snape.

entire hall bangs glasses and drinks abnormal amounts of pumpkin juice.