Roy: King of the Miniskirts

The First Address

PLOT: Roy has a few things to say about the many aspects of the miniskirt.

DISCLAIMER: I do not own Full Metal Alchemist or any of its characters. They are the propety of their creators...

ROY: Alright, alright, I know, you all think I'm a pervert… which is mostly untrue! You see, when I demand miniskirts it is for more than the entertainment of the male officers. It's a benefit to females as well. In order to convey my purposes, I will list them in the following report:

The Miniskirt Agenda

1.) Miniskirts allow a full range of movement that would otherwise be limited by pants. It's true; I've seen it with my own eyes. Women just seem to get around better when they a burdened by less clothing and it is very important that an officer is at his… I mean her… best at all times.

2.) The miniskirt is a testament to all women. It shows that they are unafraid to be who they are, to show their true selves. I believe that by instating the Miniskirt Agenda it will be a benefit for the esteem and social well-being of all our female officers.

3.) By enforcing the idea that all female officers are mandated to wear miniskirts, it also makes them more hygienically aware of themselves. Face it: it's a health issue.

4.) Fashion. For some reason those of the female sex are obsessed with current fashion. Well, by making them wear a miniskirt at all times is keeping them in constant style.

5.) Me. I am Roy Mustang… everything is about me.

6.) Them. It would indeed aid the other male officers in the improvement of their work ethic.

7.) War-Fare tactics. (I am most definitely not making things up as I go! This is all proven fact!) In times of war, we are all called into battle. So why not use male tendencies against the enemy? I'm not the only male in the world who finds the legs of a woman attractive. It's a viable distraction! We shoot while they gawk!

8.) ……………………………………………… Me………..That's it….

I feel that I have given more than enough substantial facts so that all officers should see and understand the vital importance of miniskirts to the over all well-being of this staff.

Roy Mustang

Flame Alchemist