CHAPTER ONE:

Mugen's Hiccups of Doom! DOOOOOOOOOM!

Fuu was getting worried.

She was worried because of Mugen, who'd been having outbursts lately. Not his normal violent ones that ended with them running from a mob bearing torches and pitchforks; Fuu could handle angry mobs. The outbursts Mugen was having right now… well, they were much, much worse.

"Hic."

Yes, hiccups. He'd had them for nearly seven hours and wouldn't stop laughing and it was really getting on her nerves.

And speaking of nerves she was starting to think they'd NEVER find the sunflower samurai and that she'd been really stupid to go on the quest in the first place and bring the two along with her, because they hadn't helped her a bit, except to occasionally rescue her from hostage situations, and most of the hostage situations probably wouldn't have happened if they had been paying attention to her from the start.

"Stop it!" she yelled finally at Mugen. She'd been dying to for hours. He was giggling stupidly and hiccupping; even Jin was smiling, like the hiccups were such a big joke.

"S-sorry, Fuu," he said. "Hic." He put his hand over his mouth; his eyes filled with tears of laughter and he shook. Fuu wanted to smack him. "Hic… hee hee hee… hic… hee hee hee…hic."

Fuu clamped her hands over her ears. Why, she thought miserably. Why, why, why, why?

"HIC."

"Can't you hiccup quieter?" she asked.

"N—hic—no." He giggled like a hyena.

"Jin! Make him stop!"

"I would if I could," said Jin, with a barely contained smile on his face.

Fuu fell behind the other two and pouted. Jin and Mugen, she felt, had been against her more and more often. They were such different people; she'd never thought they could possibly form such a strong bond against her.

Mugen was a self-confessed murderer, pirate, thief, street urchin, liar, cheat, chauvinist, and general all-around punk. He'd been in and out of prisons (the tattoos on his wrists and ankles proclaimed it boldly) and raised himself on the streets of big cities, swindling people out of their money, getting into bar fights and pleasuring himself with whatever woman came his way. His appearance was a testament to his not-so-honorable lifestyle. His geta had metal soles, so that a single kick to the face could crush a person's skull. His shorts were probably once hakama, but he'd cut them off at the knee and sewn them up again with red thread, to match his red jacket. Fuu had always been mildly disgusted at the state of his clothes, which were probably only held together with his sweat and dirt… if he ever washed them, they'd fall apart. And besides from his clothes, he had tan skin, gained from his constant work outside, both in the city and in prison; hair as wild as he was; a self-satisfied, smart-ass smirk that sometimes made Fuu want to punch him. Mugen seemed to enjoy himself immensely. He was proud of his disregard for the rules. "No one can order me around. I don't take shit from anyone. I'm completely free," he bragged.

Then there was Jin, stoic, calm, perfectly disciplined. Unlike Mugen, he'd spent his whole life following the rules, but by a series of unfortunate events unrelated to Lemony Snicket, he had ended up orphaned, homeless, and starving. Still, he followed everything he'd learned, adapting perfectly to whatever came his way. His clothes were generally much neater; he always made sure his hakama and kimono were straight, and that his obi was tied correctly. His hair was black, and always pulled back just so. He spoke very little, choosing words carefully, planning each action microscopically, meditating and reflecting. His skin was paler than Mugen's and unscarred, because he'd learned to fight in a dojo rather than on the streets. His face was expressionless; he hid his eyes behind his glasses and his fringe, unwilling to show more of himself than he had to.

Fuu often imagined them as fire and water. Mugen was reckless and uncontrollable, burning everything in his path. Jin was quiet and adaptable, soothing but with his own brand of energy. She'd never thought they'd hit it off.

But now they had decided—this was so stupid—that maybe they didn't hate each other so much. Fuu hadn't noticed it before, but… well, now she sure did. On the first week on their quest, if Mugen had been acting so obnoxious, Jin certainly would have taught him a lesson. But now Jin was actually smiling about it. Was it just her, or was Jin becoming a little less reserved, and Mugen, a little more cultured?

Fuu had made a promise to herself that, if Jin cut off the ends of his hakama and Mugen started wearing glasses, she would leave and complete the quest herself.

"Hic… hee hee hee h-hic-hee."

"Shut up! Just shut up! It's not even funny!"

"I'm—hic—really trying to—hic—" Mugen couldn't finish; he snorted and started giggling again, a really annoying high-pitched giggle that bored right into Fuu's brain and made her want to stomp on kittens just to release her anger.

"Jin!" pleaded Fuu again.

Jin smiled at her from behind his glasses. "Mugen," he said gently. Mugen took several deep breaths, still hiccupping quietly but no longer laughing. He and Jin looked into each other's eyes.

"Hic," said Mugen very seriously. He and Jin both smirked.

Oh, great! thought Fuu. She'd take Mugen's annoying giggling any day over their flirting. Some days they spent every waking hour trying to kill each other; others, they were like this, united against Fuu in some big inside joke. It really got her goat.

"You are so annoying!" she griped. "You're always getting on my nerves, on purpose, and not taking this quest seriously, even though I saved your lives…"

"Yeah and you haven't—hic—shut up about it since."

"Lately you've been completely… you know!"

"Hiccupping?" asked Mugen, following his question with a few demonstrative hiccups.

"No, you've been a real bastard. Actually both of you…"

"Hic."

"The thing is…"

"Hic."

"It's just that…"

"Hic."

"Shut up, Mugen."

"S—hic—sorry."

"I've been putting up with you causing trouble and being mean to me and acting like you're so much better, but this is the last straw! I can't stand you being annoying and thinking it's funny!"

"Aww, c'mon F—hic—Fuu! I can't—hic—help it!"

"You could stop talking," said Fuu, crossing her arms.

"Fine. I—hic—will. I'll stop t—hic—talking to you." He turned to Jin. "So, hic, Jin. How's life?"

"It's been better," answered Jin placidly.

"Have you noticed that—hic—Fuu's been acting like a real—hic—bitch lately?"

"No more than usual."

"I HATE YOU!" screamed Fuu, stomping the ground. "I'm not walking one more step until you grow up!" She was too angry to say any more. She sat down right in the middle of the path and folded her arms around her knees, not caring if her kimono got dusty or if the two walked away and never returned.

"You're being totally—hic—unreasonable! I can't—hic—help it, okay?" He turned to Jin. "What's—hic—with her, anyways? Hic."

"I'd say she's angry because you act like a child," said Jin wisely. Mugen began pacing back and forth on the path, kicking aside pebbles in rage. Jin stood to the side looking mildly amused. Fuu remained on the ground glaring at them.

"She's so—hic—stupid! Why c—hic—can't she just—hic—accept that—hic—sometimes—hic—sometimes—hic—sometimes— hic—damn."

"I understand," said Jin.

"Hic. Thanks, man. At least—hic—you aren't—hic—as bad as—hic—as bad as—hic—never mind. Hic. Why are you—hic—smiling?"

"I'm sorry. Your hiccups are really amusing," said Jin, bowing his head and closing his eyes, still smirking.

Mugen dropped to the ground cross-legged next to Jin with a sigh and a hiccup. "I can't—hic—stop," he said plaintively.

"You need to be startled."

"I—hic—need a d—hic—drink of water."

"You need to grow up, if you ask me," mumbled Fuu into her knees.

"Well, I didn't—hic—ask you! So shut up!"

"Well, I don't care if you asked me!"

"I already—hic—told you I can't—hic—just because I—hic—ever since I—hic—you can't keep making fun of—hic­!"

"If you really cared so much about what I think, you'd just stop hiccupping!"

"I c—hic—can't!" protested Mugen. Fuu raised her head to protest, but Mugen made a fast rebuttal. "N—hic—no, I can't!" he insisted, and was then overcome with such a fit of hiccups he couldn't finish. Jin smiled at the ground. Fuu rolled her eyes.

"I would if I—hic—could. I swear! Hic. I've been trying to!" He paused to hiccup contemplatively.

"You have not!" yelled Fuu. "You've been giggling over it for hours!"

"Well, maybe—hic—that's just my way—hic—of coping!"

"It's annoying!"

"Hic. How do you think I feel? Hic. I'm the one with these—hic—stupid—hic—hiccups! And they're beginning to hurt!" He looked at Fuu pleadingly, still hiccupping quietly.

Fuu sighed in frustration.

"Really. I'd do—hic—anything," he said sincerely.

"I'm not going to take any more of this," Fuu said warningly.

"Then help me! Hic."

"Fine! We will! We'll do it right now! Let's go!" said Fuu, rising in a determined way and brushing dust from her kimono. Mugen looked surprised.

"Hic. Thanks—hic—Fuu. I guess you're—hic—not such a bitch—hic—after all."