Iiya Motto Moshiyou: No More Words
Chapter Two – Two Lives Entwined
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"With desire, the world is tied down. With the subduing of desire, it is freed.
With the abandoning of desire… all bonds are cut through."
—Iccha Sutta
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LAST CHAPTER:
….But—
To whom it did not go unnoticed by, was torn to shreds by the horrifying knowledge that was bestowed upon him… the knowledge only he was aware of… as the silver sheath at his hip pulsed violently, from the wake his angry tou, as it sensed the diminishing light from the soul of the girl it had sought out once before…
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The fragile body was slumped to the floor, a peaceful expression left in reminiscence on her face. She looked as if she where dreaming... it suited her so well—the serenity of sleep. Her mind was finally set free from the binding tie that her remorse had left her in the clutches of. It held her unwillingly—and yet, all the while, she allowed it—
It was her choice really, and yet—in the end, she would not have chosen her own demise, nor her own tragic ending… and all the while, death was becoming on her quietly peaceful face. She slept… surely the sun would rise once again. Though she lie sleeping… the world would not set in sorrow. Nor did the sprites mourn in tears… death becomes her… across her face of elegance, and refinement… purity, and timelessness. Her soul was once bound by the chains of mortality—now she was free from it all—free from the aging. She was timeless… and her soul was seeking him out… seeking after his timeless soul—but when she found him, she could not escape the terrifying pull that the tou of life had against her. It was devouring her. Trying to send her back from the way in which she had only just come—and it was sending him toward her… toward the whitened body that lie in the flickering light of the shiro, that the sun had only just set upon.
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The rawness of the feeling that engulfed him, made his stomach feel as though it bled…—he could feel the death that had engulfed something of his own. Something that belonged to him. Only HE had the rights to take life from which he had given it to. Only he had the authority to touch her. She was his—and forbidden to the holds of mortality. It was time.
His pace was steady, and determined, as he walked toward the gates that kept the outside world from peering in at the courtyards, and the tall, forbidden walls of Heikeia-hime's shiro. Inside lie the girl… her body was pulsing with death… and her soul would soon escape her body, and there would be no way to save the small glimmer of hope for her life, as it was steadily fading away in to the depths of the underworld.
He was seething inside… how could this happen so suddenly? Did the girl take her own life? It didn't seem probable… but, there was always that unknown question, that lingered in the back of his mind. Perhaps seeing him was too much… perhaps it grieved her. But—it shouldn't have. She could see that he needed her… and that surely meant something to her, because she would have never seen him express the need for anything—or anyone,—ever. It simply was not something that he did, and she would be the one—the only one who could ever know that to the fullest extent of it's overwhelming truth. It had meaning. Because… SHE meant something—to him. She wouldn't kill herself. It was obvious… the girl was sent into a state, where her mind, and heart—where overwhelmed, and her soul, was troubled. She was so weak… so desperately weak… and her frail body had fallen beneath the pulls of her weakness that sought out mercilessly on her stricken body.
But—that was not the most fearsome matters… but, in fact that the entire shiro had an eerie aura of death that circulated around it, set him at ill ease. So, Rin was not the only one who had fallen prey to the claws of death… perhaps there was indeed something amiss beyond the walls that surrounded the courtyards of the shiro. As he neared the entrance, a swarm of angry gunryou where awaiting him, long foreign objects that where scented with black powder and smoke where all held level in their tensed arms, and a steady echo of clicks all sounded as the soldiers whispered among themselves in low, worried, and coarse tones.
"Leave—NOW—youkai! Lady Heikeia-hime has issued us the permission to KILL any intruder, and Lady Heikeia hates youkai. Leave now, or die!" Sesshoumaru was seething. How foolish of these mortal men, to presume that they could overtake him with nothing more than hollow sticks. Their stupidity, and recklessly bold words where astounding.
"Do you really presume to think that you could cause any affliction to this Sesshoumaru?" They paled considerably…
Sesshoumaru…
He was the Great Demon Lord…
The son of the Inu no Taishou, Touga.
What could he ever want with them!
The man trembled, but bristled in inimicality. His Lady HATED these creatures of the dark entity… there was no reasoning to place, they would be forced to fight against this specter-formed creature. Sesshoumaru frowned. He could sense the unease, and insecurity that was overwhelming the young man that seemed to hold the most influence over all the men. It was obvious that he was suffering over a mental conflict… but, perhaps there was also, a way to end it. "This shiro has an overwhelming dark aura of death… I can sense it, as well as see it. It has engulfed the Lady Rin-hime, and another… although I am not certain of whom. Can you tell this Sesshoumaru what this means?" he asked somewhat uncertain of what the outcome of his inquisition would result in.
The man paled. "Death…?" it appeared that he had not expected this, and that was a good thing…
"Indeed. It is overwhelming my senses, and the girl—Rin-hime, her soul is being carried away—" "No! Do not speak any more! Kakkei! Call upon the priestess—Lady Rin—" "—Your nisou can do nothing for her life now. What do you think this Sesshoumaru would want with shiboritsu?" the gunryou all seemed to be lost in low tones of confusion, and their actions where dismal. "Rin-hime is—dead! What do you want with us, youkai!" They asked, slowly backing away from the gates, as perspiration ran down their faces. It was known that Lady Heikeia was gravely ill, and Rin-hime being the heir—if she where indeed dead, then—their great empire had just fallen. Rin was truly their last hope to continue with the mighty reign of dominance over the island territories.
"I have come to restore to her, her soul… but it will not be without a great cost—" he paused. "…take me to her, before it is too late."
The men where skeptical, and they where placed in a position of great fear, and unease. "How do we know that you do not intend to kill us all!" one man hissed. Sesshoumaru glowered. Time was running out for him… and for Rin. If her soul became devoured by the henge of the akunochimata, there would be nothing he could do to replace within her the life that he so desperately desired to see flowing within her. And… it was almost too late… his time was waning, and he could feel the angry soul that jolted within the tou of the dead, that remain sheathed at his waist. He would not let her die…! "This Sesshoumaru does not have time!" he shouted at them, and in a flame of white, he vanished before their eyes.
"Damn, the bastard—he vaporized...!"
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Sesshoumaru stepped foot within the dark eerie-like halls of the shiro. The scent of sickness and death permeated every breath he drew in. He caught the scent—it reminded him faintly of what Rin had smelt like—only hours ago. He had mistaken this sickly aura for one of the dead… but, it was indeed, still alive—but barely.
There was not yet time for this, though.
A horrified shriek pierced through the eerie silence within the shiro walls, and in an instant, Sesshoumaru was kneeling on the floor, by the nearly cold body, that was once inhabited by the soul of the girl, Rin. A round eyed maid-servant was tugging in futile attempts to shake her Lady back into the state of life, seeming not to notice the inhuman creature that was in such close proximity of both her, and Rin-hime. Sesshoumaru drew his angered tou, and prepared to thrust it forth into the heart of the girl—when he hesitated… what would she say once he revived her? He shook the maidservant fiercely, to draw her from her insanely unstable state. "Woman, tell me… who is the other one that suffers from the pulls of near death?" the maidservant paled, at the realization that this man had entered without her coherent knowledge of it… still seeming to not notice the presence of the powerful youkai. "Lady Heikeia-hime!" She gasped from shock of his awakening assault. He released his grasp upon her. Heikeia-hime… she was—
Without another thought, the blade of his tou was thrust through the motionless heart of the young woman that lie in the clutches of death, across the tatami mat on the floor in her room. Swiftly—he destroyed the henge, that where fighting wildly with the struggling soul who sought to be released. Sesshoumaru closed his eyes in relief. She did not want to die, then… and then—the henge vanished, and her soul seemed to linger between the two worlds: of the living, and of the dead. Her soul had been stripped of it's strength, and—she was not capable of returning to her body! Where had Tensuaiga failed! Why could he not bring her back to her body?
Why did life resist from fusing once more with her soul? White panic shot through his veins, and he felt himself begin to give way to his trembling body. As he sank to the ground, he realized—Tensuaiga had already been used to restore to her, life that had been taken from her. Could it really be possible that she was truly unable to be saved? No. He would not let this haunt him. He reached after the weakened spirit, that lingered above the dead body of the girl, and he pulled it into his arms. This spirit form, it was clearly Rin. It's dark eyes that silently pleaded with him to do something—anything. And his heart was nearly torn from his chest at the sight. Rin… she didn't know the slightest of what she was doing to him. Eating away at him, day and night without rest. Was he really afraid?—He was desperately afraid of losing her—forever.
The spirit looked at him once more, it's dainty lips pulled in a smile, as it's translucent hand reached to touch his sorrowful face. And before he knew what was happening to him—the spirit fused it's self within him, and everything became blurry. He was uncertain of what was happening—had Rin's spirit form absorbed him? No… he had absorbed her, but—it was not a fusing of the souls—her soul—had, taken from him—a part of his own! The spirit once again lingered above the lifeless girl, and then, they where enveloped in a blinding white light, as Rin's soul re-entered her body, for the second time.
Sprawled across her tatami mat, she stirred, but before she could open her eyes to blink—Sesshoumaru had disappeared.
He stood before the dying woman that seemed to barely be holding on to what little bit of strength she had. She was very young… he could tell that simply by the scent that she carried, though it be overwhelmed by the one of illness, and disease. "Hime…" he spoke evenly, as so not to frighten her. "Youkai… no, … ah, now I remember—Sesshoumaru-sama." She acknowledged, nearly inaudible. "Hn. So you know my name." She turned her face from him, in shame.
"Yes… but, I can not imagine what you would want with a dying mortal woman like myself, Sesshoumaru-sama. In fact… there is nothing I can give to you in my current position." Sesshoumaru smiled slightly, a strange glimmer shining in his eyes, reflected by the flame that burnt on the wick, which had been dipped into the small oil-filled vat. "Oh, but you are wrong, Hime. There is very much that you can give to me, and in return—this Sesshoumaru will restore something priceless to you." She turned her gaze slowly back to meet his. "Oh? And what do you presume that to be, Sesshoumaru-sama?" He stepped forward, bending down to whisper into her ear… "Your life, Hime-sama."
"In what do I owe you for such a thing?" she asked, more afraid of what he would want in return, than her own soon approaching death. He sighed, breathily. "I want Rin." Heikeia-hime closed her eyes, and a smile danced across her tired face, a mere moment. "So… you have return for your girl—finally, after these four years. Why is it, Sesshoumaru-sama, that you want her now, of all times? Can you not tell that Rin has been mercilessly destroying herself? Can you not tell from her weakened, and fragile state that there is indeed something wrong? And now, of all times… you choose to come for her. Heh. How convenient for you. In such a weakened state, there is really nothing she could do to resist you anyway. Why revive me? You could take her just as well, without my permission, could you not?"
"Ah… you are very shallow, Sesshoumaru-sama. In her absence away from you… all her innocence has been taken from her—and—she has killed her unborn child, she did so as it remained within her womb, out of fear—and also out of the fear of shame that her lover left within her. Had you had come for her sooner, it would have never been this way. She—would have never suffered." Sesshoumaru's heart sank, and he was enveloped in a feeling as though his stomach was being ripped out from him.
Rin… no, she would have never done—
It had been four years, and—she did appear so broken…
He lowered his head in an insurmountable sense of remorse. "I would not take her without your consent… these four years, I had left her to her own, and in that time—the moment that you took her in, she became yours. She is no longer mine, regardless of how I desire it. But—your life will soon be expired, and I do not know of whether I can revive you from a natural death such as a disease… that is why I present this to you now. All I ask is that in return, you give me—in return… the girl." His breath was shaky.
Everything the Hime had said to him—was devastatingly true. He knew that she would never make such a thing up from nonsense. She was altogether too pure, and naïve to do a thing as that. Perhaps that is what endeared her to Rin—their very likeness. If he did not have the one reason alone to revive this woman's life, for simply the redemption of Rin, it would not be uneasy to find another. This situation was not unprofitable, on either side of the matter.
She sighed quietly, and closed her eyes. "There is only one condition to this—" he held his breath restrictively, as she spoke… "—I must first know—even if you never confess to this again—" his eyes closed, as a thousand and one different things ran through his weary mind…
"—Sesshoumaru-sama… do you love her?"
He bowed his head in both shame and anger. This was not something he would entrust a mortal woman with! He was Sesshoumaru-sama! He needed not answer to anyone!
"Sesshoumaru-sama… answer me. Do you love her?"
He needed not to search himself of his motivations in wanting back the girl that he had desired for every moment of her absence…
"Sesshoumaru-sama… do you love her?"
The persistent woman was intruding in areas that she clearly had not the rights to even question! How dare she to think that he would ever answer to such things…!
"Sesshoumaru-sama… she loves you more than words can express. My heart aches when I think of it. Alone, it is insurmountable… it has no limits, nor no end—and to give her back to you… I must know—do you love Rin?"
And there was the dull ache that ate away at him… and tore his chest open like the fine strands of a spider's loom. In a mere whisper, her answer brushed over the tip of his tongue…
"Yes."
And so, they had reached their agreement.
"—There is one thing," he paused before continuing… "this tou is only capable of resurrecting… and you as of yet are alive. I will have to—" "I already know…" broke in the tired voice. "…I already know. Do it. You need not linger in interlude among your actions, Sesshoumaru-sama, I already know." His face furrowed in confusion, but he did not pause to contemplate any longer. Grasping his hands around her neck, in one quick motion, he had snapped her neck cleanly, and her death came at a near instant.
He closed his eyes. If this did not work… then—
Grasping the hilt of his tou, he thrust cleanly into the dead Hime's heart, and in a near instant, the light faded, and she quietly stood to her feet. A few tears where dampening her face, to be hastily wiped away.
"Thank you, I can never truly repay you for this—but please promise me one thing—that I shall see Rin again—at least once! I beg of you!" He hastened to avert his gaze, and his eyelids closed in contemplation. "That, is a promise that I am not certain can be kept." As the Hime fell to her knees, he disappeared into the deep hallway, to reclaim the one that he had spent so very long away from. He was prepared to face the very thing that he had been in denial of: He loved her.
There where so many things that he knew had to be said, had to be done… and, whether or not she would be willing to leave this place with him or not was altogether an uncertainty. It was obvious that she loved this place, but in those four years… even in the lifespan of a mortal… she could not have forgotten him. The Hime had made it somewhat clear that she had not… but, then—what was it that she was fighting against to heartedly? Where did her inner battles lie? Was there truly such a thin line between love and hate?
Was forgiveness something that took ages to acquire? Was there a way that all could return to how it once was—to how it should have been? Was her heart never to be contented?
She had struggled so desperately against him. She was running away from something… away from him. It was not what he wanted, and he could only hope silently that it was only mere idealism, but—there was that area of a know truth, that nearly made him ache. Had pride, and arrogance really torn something from his grasp that was irreplaceable?
His face contorted into livid anguish. There was little that he could do to affect her feelings on their relationship. There was once a time… that she would have given anything, and everything for what he wanted so desperately to give to her now, but he had already foreseen the first of her refusal. She both hated, and loved him. Upon his first encounter, it was evident in her very expressions. Her eyes reflected everything perfectly. Regardless of how she tried to conceal her heart within her sophisticaté, her eyes hid absolutely nothing from him. They revealed all of her secrets. Her struggles, her wishes, and her tears.
He did not allow himself to dwell in thought of her pains though. There where many, and that he was certain of. And for that reason alone… he decided that the only thing he need dwell on be the girl herself, that lie right behind the screen he was breathing ever so lightly against…
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He was so torn—so timid. Her life was no longer in perilous danger. She was alive, and on the other side of the paper screen… and he was absolutely certain that she was aware that she had died, and he had been there. She would more or less, expect such a thing. Her very spirit had pulled something out of him. Of that he was rather certain as well, seeing as though she had both used him as a door to return to the world of the living, as though she was incapable of returning to such a present on her own powers, even if though by the help of his tou, Tensuaiga—she had most likely also required to some extent—a piece of his soul in return.
It was a most intriguing principal, truly. However; even in such ponderings, he was left with the present—he had to bring her to at least the point where she could speak to him. She seemed as though she wanted to distance herself from him. She was letting everything eat away at her heart, and it had killed her. At least she could know that her Lady Heikeia-hime's life would be extended for a great many years, and in that time, there would be plenty for both him and her, to come to an understanding on what must be done once it was time for Lady Heikeia to respectfully pass on her title to the girl.
He knew that she most likely hated him… and in all reality, it was expected, but hate had nothing to do with anything. She would love him again. It was all in the ways of life. She would once again give to him the entirety of her heart, simply because she would. There was no room for contemplation in the matter.
He placed one hand over the edge of the delicate screen, and gently drew it back toward himself, until he was able to peer inside the dimly lit room, with flames dancing on the shadows of the wall, from the small fire in the center of the room, and the few wicks that burnt in their vats of magnolia oil.
Then—he saw her. She was looking directly into his eyes, unwavering. Kneeling on the floor behind her, her maid was picking through her Lady's hair with a silver comb. The light of the fire reflected in the glassy sheen of her eyes. Slowly she lowered her head in thought, until it rested upon her bent knees, her arms folded over them in the front, slightly constricting in appearance. "Forgive me, Lord Sesshoumaru, but I believe I have taken something of yours, and I would be obliged to return it to you, but it seems as though the only way that is possible is through death, but perhaps either that could be arranged, or else I fear I am eternally indebted to your supreme grace." She spoke evenly through the quiet room. "Indeed." he replied, as he slowly walked toward her. "And, of your debt, I require much." She raised her face to look at him, and eyebrow arched in question. He smiled briefly at her façade, and continued; "So it goes that you are eternally indebted to me, and as I should, require recompense… this Sesshoumaru has decided upon a way that it can be such."
"Oh?" she asked, feigning mild interest. "Indeed." He again replied. "I have decided, due to the fact that Her Lady, the Hime, has also been indebted to my person—it has been arranged that you shall be coming with me, and this Sesshoumaru shall hear nothing of your refusal—it is not to be tolerated, nor heeded in any way, form or matter. See to it that you understand, I have restored to your dying Lady, the full health, and years that her lifespan would have otherwise provided. I had means of a way that it could be done, and her intentions where so that she preferred you not to be forced into an early position of power, seeing as you are ill prepared for such. Your life is my gain in this matter, or so it would seem."
She frowned. He made it impossible for her to have any say in the matter at all. Her health was much better… but her heart ached as it did before. It was not merely the suffering of external, or mortal based agony, or illness… but it was the past that lingered with her very soul that had scarred her deeper than any wound could penetrate. It was a hopeless situation. The only thing there seemed to be reason to question was too beyond her will to ask. She would not be forced by the means of him to lower herself to the level of begging him for anything. She was far above that point.
She raised herself to her feet, and shooed away her seemingly flustered maid, who was continually throwing fearful glances toward the specter in the doorway…
"If that is your price for my Lady's life, then I shall be obliged to be the cause of compensating for the cost. However, know this Sesshoumaru: for all that you have COST me, you owe far more than you could ever hope to repay."
She bowed respectfully, and walked from him… suddenly feeling slightly uplifted after all the years that she had been bound to an eternal state of remorse, and depression… so that is what she truly wanted… revenge? Was it truly this that she craved for beyond all things? No. She reminded herself, No. It was not revenge—it was understanding. It was him understanding what she had felt in the time of their separation from one another. He had seemingly been unaffected, while she had suffered beyond her imagination.
THAT was truly—where her hearts desires found their place.
And as she walked away, something burned deeply within her… and she noted to herself—it was if though her soul was crying—but, it was not her own. She could feel his regret… his suffering… his sorrow… and it was the same as her own.
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End Of Chapter Two…
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Glossary:
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akunochimata – the underworld/hell
gunryou – army/soldiers
henge - goblins
ningen – human
nisou – priestess
shiboritsu – mortals/lit. 'mortality'
shiro – castle
tou – sword blade
toukaidou – the name of Lady Heikeia's lands/empire
wagakimi – my lord
youkai – ghost/apparition/specter
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A/N:
To: Nightraven
LOL! Sess is a babe! ;) Haha! I loved that, and I nearly died reading it! You are right though! Hehe!
I am glad you like the story, I tried to cut down a lot of the unnecessary stuff, and add more dialogue, rather than just insights on emotion! I hope it helped/worked, whatever! ;) LOL!
To: Spike's-sex-slave
Here you are! Another chapter, and I hope I didn't disappoint!
To: clax
Did I really do that? Hrm… I must have been having a brain freeze or something. Thanks though! I tried to focus more on that! Haha! LOL! ;)
To: RabidAnimeGurl
Interesting… Yes. Well, there is an interesting review! Thanks so much! ;)
To: Icygirl
Thank you for reviewing! I love to hear from you! You are my most frequent reviewer so far, and I am HONORED by the fact that you would even review by an e-mail just so that you could send a review! (blushes…) I am honored!
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Thank all of you for your reviews! I am still in need of a beta reader, and I would LOVE if someone would be willing to volunteer? Please let me know if you are willing to
Alright… a little bit of an explanation:
Rin did actually die. Sesshoumaru had to restore her life—but, in doing this—he was forced to use his own life source in replenishing hers, due to the fact that she had died a natural death; in the sense that she was not murdered. He had also already resurrected her once—making it impossible for Tensuaiga to restore her soul, without some drastic measures—which include the life-source of another soul.
Thanks for the wait!
—S. I.
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2005. 11. 17 – 4,457 Words