"To Snog A Slytherin: The Final Hunt"

Disclaimer: All recognizable characters and elements from the Harry Potter series belong to J.K. Rowling. No copyright infringement is intended.

Author's Note: This was inspired by silly conversations my sister and I had. The Slytherins are usually portrayed as sex gods, so we thought it'd be amusing if they were actually virgins. She's writing a serious fic about Warrington and we've been joking about the characterization she's given him. So, lo and behold - a plot bunny. Alicia chases poor Warrington, who's not interested in the wicked defiler-of-Slytherins.

Fourth year, Alicia snogged Terrence Higgs every opportunity she had. It was his seventh year, and he became the school man-whore in an attempt to deal with the pain of having been kicked off the Slytherin Quidditch team in order for Draco Malfoy to have the spot of Seeker. She knew he snogged, and more, a lot of other girls, but Alicia didn't care. It was a thrill to be with him, an older student and a Slytherin. At the end of the year, after her fifteenth birthday, she lost her virginity to Higgs. It was a fond memory.

Fifth year, she and Adrian Pucey were both serving detention in Professor Flitwick's classroom when they kissed. Flitwick had left the room, and the two of them were arguing. Then they were kissing. It just happened. After the detention was over, they snogged in the empty classroom. It became a regular habit. Then they started shagging. The first time Alicia shagged Pucey, it was far from good. In fact, she'd resolved never to shag him again but it just happened again a few days later. It was much better then. Pucey confessed that he'd been a virgin. By the end of the school year, Pucey had found a girlfriend and ended their arrangement. That suited Alicia fine since she'd gotten bored with him.

Sixth year, she initiated an affair with Miles Bletchley. She'd dated George Weasley the previous summer and found the experience dull. Slytherins were much more exciting. Alicia supposed it was the lure of the forbidden that made Slytherin Quidditch players so appealing to her. She snuck out of the Great Hall and followed Bletchley to the garden the night of the Yule Ball. Before they could get into the usual round of Gryffindor-Slytherin fighting, she'd thrown herself on top of him. He caught on quickly. He was good enough that she kept their affair going throughout the summer. When she finally broke up with him in October of their seventh year, he did not take it well. He hexed her in the library. Luckily, there was a Quidditch game scheduled soon so Alicia blamed the hexing on pre-game troublemaking.

That left her without a Slytherin lover though, and Alicia had become quite used to having one. She considered her choices. Malfoy, Crabbe and Goyle were all too young for her. Besides, Crabbe and Goyle's stupidity was a huge turn off, and Malfoy couldn't keep his mouth shut. That left Montague and Warrington. She made up her mind to flirt with Montague. However, she observed him before she started flirting - and it was a good thing that she did! She was certain he and Angelina were having an affair. Oh, it looked like nothing to the casual observer. But to someone who'd been shagging Slytherins for three years, it was obvious enough.

Warrington. That left Alicia with only Warrington. She didn't like him, even less so than the other Slytherins. He was too serious and too ambitious. He was a more ruthless version of Percy Weasley. Still, he wasn't bad looking. Despite what Dean Thomas had said last year, Warrington did not look like a sloth. He wasn't as pretty as the late Cedric Diggory, but he wasn't hideous either. And his body was...He was the biggest student in their year. Tall, broad-shouldered, with muscular arms and God only knew what else underneath those school robes...Yes, Alicia had to have him.

He didn't seem to notice the subtle advances she made though. Alicia was as bold as she dared to be without drawing attention to them. He still either didn't realize she was hitting on him or pretended not to notice. She was forced to pull him into a dark alcove one evening and tell him flat out. "I want you," she said.

"For what?" he asked.

Alicia shook her head. Surely he wasn't really this slow. "I want to shag you."

Warrington stared at her blankly then laughed. "Very funny, Spinnet." He turned to leave.

Alicia grabbed his arm. "Fuck me."

"Such foul language is unworthy of a pureblood," he lectured.

Alicia gaped at him. He couldn't be for real. "Warrington, I want you to pin me to this wall and..."

"Spinnet!" he interrupted. "I don't know why you're making obscene propositions to me, but I don't find it amusing."

"It's not supposed to be amusing," she said. "Ask Pucey or Bletchley. Well, actually, don't ask Bletchley. He's still mad at me."

"Are you some kind of Slytherin groupie?" he asked. "We have a few of those, but they're mostly Hufflepuffs. Really," he shook his head, "I expected a little better from Gryffindors."

"Slytherin groupie? No..." Alicia frowned. "Technically, yes, I suppose." She smiled brightly, "So, how about it?"

"No," he said. "I don't engage in such illicit activities."

"Are you saying you're celibate? Completely? I mean, you're a virgin?"

"Not that it is any of your concern, but yes, I am," he replied, without a trace of embarrassment.

"Well so was Pucey," Alicia said. "C'mon, it'll be fun."

He stared at her pityingly. "I'm not interested, Spinnet."

Alicia watched him leave without trying to stop him. This was just too strange. Sure, Pucey had been a virgin, but that was back in fifth year and he'd been eager anyway. What was wrong with Warrington?

She caught up to him after Potions the following day. "Are you gay?" she asked bluntly.

"What?" he yelped. "No! Of course not."

"So why don't you want to shag me?"

He didn't reply, only walked faster.

Alicia struggled to keep up with him. "Well? Answer me," she said.

"It's a matter of principle," he said. "A respectable pureblood gentleman does not consort with strange women."

"Strange women! You've known me for over six years! Wait," Alicia narrowed her eyes, "Are you calling me a slut?"

"Whether you are a slut or not is your business. You're not my fiancée and you're unlikely to ever be, so I can't...shag you."

It took a while for Alicia to understand what he was saying. It was so archaic; it was ridiculous - especially from a male. "You're saving yourself for marriage?" She laughed so hard that she had to stop and brace against the wall for support.

Warrington stopped, too, glaring at her. "It's not funny," he said. "Young witches and wizards these days are utterly corrupted by muggle influences. I am not one of them. Honestly, such behavior is little better than being an outright blood traitor."

"Oh, come off it, Warrington," Alicia said. "You're a healthy eighteen year old male. You're honestly telling me that you don't want to have sex?"

"I should think that ancient wizarding values would be more important than momentary impulses," he said. He shook his head sadly. "Gryffindor House has been much too tainted by mudbloods."

Alicia ignored his use of the vile M-word. "We can skip lunch and go down to the locker rooms - the Slytherin or Gryffindor room, whichever you prefer." She placed her hand over his crotch. "I guarantee that you'll love it."

Warrington sprang away from her like she'd burnt him. "Keep your hands off me!" He practically sprinted to the Great Hall. She couldn't very well chase him around in full view of the entire school, so Alicia vowed to get him another day.

She accosted him every time she caught him alone for the next three weeks. Finally, Warrington turned to her one day and said tiredly, "If I snog you for a bit, will you leave me alone?"

"Yes," Alicia lied.

Warrington settled one arm around her waist and the other around her shoulder. He kissed her slowly. Alicia threw her arms around his neck and kissed him back eagerly. He started to say something, but Alicia quickly shoved her tongue into his mouth. She rubbed her breasts against his chest. It'd been too long since she'd last shagged a Slytherin. Warrington was a better snogger than Higgs, Pucey or Bletchley; or maybe it only seemed like that because of her prolonged period of abstinence. She couldn't wait to shag him. Just as she started moving her hands down his body, the bell rang. Mid-morning break was over, and so was their snogging session.

"That was divine," she said languidly. "Are you sure you don't want to shag me during lunch?"

"Spinnet! You promised to leave me alone if I snogged you," he complained.

"I lied," she said. "It must be the Slytherin part of me."

Warrington didn't say anything as they walked to Potions together - carefully walking several feet apart so nobody would suspect them of fraternizing with the enemy. Right before they entered the dungeon classroom, he whispered, "I'll snog you some more, but I will not shag you."

After a month of snogging every opportunity they got, Alicia was quite frustrated. As Warrington nibbled on her neck one evening in the broomshed, she said, "I haven't spent this much time with my hand in my knickers in years. Shag me soon, you're driving me crazy with lust."

Warrington let go of her immediately and stepped back to watch her carefully, as if to make sure her hand was not in her knickers at the moment.

Alicia gave him her sexiest smile. "Want to watch me?"

He gave her a confused look. "I'm watching you right now."

"No," she said, "I meant, do you want to see what I have to do because you won't shag me?" She started slidding her hand under her skirt.

"No!" he said loudly and turned away from her.

"You could do it for me," she suggested.

Warrington headed to the door.

"All right, all right," Alicia said. "I'll stop. We've got a while more until curfew. Come snog me."

He went back to her. This time he kept their fingers interlaced while they kissed, as if he was afraid she'd slip her hand in her knickers.

By January, Alicia was quite frustrated. Her parents had left her home alone for two whole days - and nights - while they visited relatives. She'd asked, pleaded, begged and whined, but Warrington refused to visit her. He claimed she'd try to take advantage of him. Which was true, but that wasn't the point. Damn it. A perfect opportunity to have sex in a proper bed - in her own room, no less - ruined because of Warrington's ridiculous values. She vowed to take drastic action this year.

After the first meeting of Dumbledore's Army of the new year, Alicia began to formulate a plan. It was a bit of a security risk, but she was willing to risk it. She staked out the room of requirements for two weeks, to make sure no one else regularly used it. Then, one Wednesday evening when neither Gryffindor nor Slytherin had Quidditch practice, she lured Warrington to the room.

"There are corridors with much nicer paintings that are just as deserted as this one," he complained, as she paced in front of the room.

Finally the door appeared. Lust giving her extra strength, Alicia yanked Warrington into the room. The only things in the room were a huge bed and a chandelier providing candlelight. Blocking the door, Alicia quickly undressed. "If this doesn't do anything for you, you're not human," she said.

However, Warrington seemed to be more interested in the room of requirements. "Odd. I've never heard of this room before. If they knew about it, the others would have mentioned it."

Alicia nearly growled in annoyance. She had big breasts, long legs, a slim waist, long hair, a pretty face - basically everything men found sexually appealing. Then what the hell was Warrington's problem? She again wondered whether he was gay. But he was very enthusiastic during their snogging sessions. It was only when she dared to venture below the belt that he became prudish.

Oh, no! Why hadn't she considered this before? "It's okay, baby," she said soothingly. "Size doesn't matter." Really after this much time without, anything would do.

"What?" Warrington asked, finally looking at her.

The other Slytherin Quidditch players she'd had sex with had all been nicely endowed. Sharing a locker room with them must have made Warrington too ashamed to let anyone see his cock.

"I'll still love you. And if it really bothers you, there are charms that can help." Alicia hugged him.

Realizing what she meant, Warrington pushed her away and began undressing. "I am not small!"

No, he certainly wasn't. And he wasn't completely unwilling either. "Then what the hell is your problem?"

"I have principles," he said.

"Darling," Alicia explained patiently, "Every person who ever said that decent people wait until marriage was a massive hypocrite or had alternative reasons for not wanting sex with the opposite sex."

"Insulting me doesn't make me any more likely to do what you want."

"I'll do anything," Alicia offered.

"The only way I'm going to have sex with you is if we were married."

"You want to marry me?"

"You're an attractive, reasonably intelligent pureblood witch. You're a better choice than most."

"You're so romantic," Alicia grumbled sarcastically.

"And I love you."

It was dirty. It was underhanded. It was what boys usually did and girls usually cried about in bathrooms. "If you loved me, you'd fuck me."

Warrington laughed.

Alicia scowled at him. "What if I promise to marry you after we leave Hogwarts?"

"Are you willing to make an Unbreakable Vow?"

"Yes."

"Then get dressed and we'll go ask someone to help."

"Who? I don't want the entire school to know about this."

"Alicia, please, Slytherins are quite discreet."

"It might be a little awkward to ask Pucey or Bletchley."

"I was thinking about Montague."

Alicia dressed almost as fast as she'd undressed.

Montague was more than happy to help them make the Unbreakable Vow. Afterwards, he asked her to help him and Angelina make the same vow later.

Alicia realized she'd been tricked. "Slytherins," she hissed.

Wisely, Montague hurriedly left her and Warrington alone.

"You planned this," Alicia said, glaring at her new fiance.

Warrington pulled her close to him. "You have no idea how difficult it's been for me."

"Oh, I have some idea. You'll have to keep waiting, you slimy git."

He looked alarmed. "Don't you want me?"

"Not as much as I want you to suffer."

His hand slipped under her skirt. "Sure?"

Damn him. But was she really willing to remain abstinent to spite Warrington? She could always find another way to punish him. The room of requirements was a very handy tool. "You win for now." She wanted to torment him for the rest of their lives, but right now, Alicia really just wanted him.

End