Before you start – Yes, this touches on homosexuality, and not in a particularly fluffy way so don't read it if you don't like that sort of thing. I won't have any sympathy for anyone who reads this after ignoring the warnings.

Also yeah, none of these characters belong to me, except Bob and Sam so please don't sue my arse off.

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Another night brought yet another failure. Pinky laid a consoling paw on Brain's shoulder before they were both swept away by a jet of the water cannon the riot police had brought in to quell the rising civil unrest and they were both knocked out. Pinky woke up and started to try and get them both back to the comfort and safety of their laboratory cage but was quickly distracted and instead started stalking an errant firefly. He crouched, head and shoulders low to the ground while his backside and tail stuck up in the air ludicrously, waggling manically with excitement and the thrill of the non-existent chase. He was just about to pounce when a firm paw settled on his neck and Brain dragged his idiotic partner in crime back to the cage with him.

He watched Brain fall asleep quickly before grinning. Brain had been noticeably less violent in dragging him home this time. Did this finally mean that the pudgy little murine was starting to finally warm to him? Mercy knew Pinky had been trying to raise his spirits and help him to lighten up and chill out for long enough. Hmm Pinky wished he had long pigtails like Pippy Longstocking did. That would be so cool. He bet she did loads of stuff with hair like that, I mean, the bondage and flogging possibilities alone were…. Within minutes Brain was forgotten and Pinky was fast asleep, enjoying a rather risqué dream involving goose grease and the child star who portrayed the literary figure in the famous Disney movies of Pippy Longstocking.

'So Brain, what are we gonna do tonight?' Pinky loved this ritual almost as much as he enjoyed the 'Are you pondering what I'm pondering?' ritual. Sure, they never were pondering the same thing, but it gave him a great excuse to try and see if he could make Brain's eye twitch or if he'd do that cute thing where he paused to wonder at his companion's idiocy. Pinky loved that expression, for one thing it meant that Brain was concentrating on him and him only.

'I don't know Pinky and to be honest, I do not particularly care.'

'WHAT?' Pinky stared at his friend as if he'd grown an extra head. Brain recognised that expression all too well, what with them being lab-mice and the fact that test 7981b had actually caused him to spontaneously grow a benign tumour on one shoulder that looked almost exactly like a second head.

'I sad I do not know what we are going to do tonight, Pinky.' Brain explained, with what he felt was remarkable patience. 'I am a genius and genii are supposed to be clever. Clever people learn from experience and experience teaches me that I am never going to attain my goal of world domination in one night.' He shrugged and watched Pinky stare at him. 'What do you want to do?'

Recovering remarkably quickly Pinky produced two tiny pairs of mouse-sized lederhosen from nowhere in particular. What he actually wanted to say would probably make Brain strangle him, given that the brains of the operation had always seemed rather exasperated by Pinky's verging on the kinky suggestions. 'See! They arrived today at long last!'

Pinky's powers of persuasion were impressive, Brain had to admit as he stood in the middle of their cage wearing a surprisingly comfortable of tight, short leather shorts. In a vaguely shell-shocked state he watched Pinky prance around the cage in a really very distracting manner. It really was not very dignified, especially since he could not keep his eyes off Pinky's arse. The way the leather clung to a backside he knew to be pretty well-formed since they were both naked almost all of the time was positively scandalous. He shut his eyes, slapped himself and quietly screamed to himself in extreme sexual frustration.

It had to have hypnotised him, the dancing that it, because Brain never would have even thought of saying what he said next. 'You know Pinky, I'm pondering having you punished good and hard for wearing such scandalously tight and distracting leather shorts. They make me want to do positively obscene things to the arse inside them.'

'Gee Brain! I was just ponder that too….' Pinky stream of consciousness babble was cut short by a violent kiss and an exceedingly frank grope.

'Yo Bob! What the Hell did you do to these mice?'

'Nothing.' Bob wandered over and was perplexed by the lethargy of subjects 1398 and 1399 as they limped about the tests as if dazed, bumping into things and doing extremely odd things to each other when they bumped into each other. 'Sam, did you ever hear if mice could be gay?'

'Dunno Bob, but there are more things in Heaven and Earth….'

'Nah, I don't believe it, must just be a side effect of that last anti-depressant we put in their water. Anyway, it's your turn to buy the cakes today.'

'Dammit.'