Okay. Chapter one is kindof just a taster. My beta has been ignoring me sniff.

Anyway. Here you go.

Lily Loves Bagpuss

or

Flavia's bit of...

by GaroisJ'aimeDesPickles

(moi)

---

In my room.

Not thinking about Potter.

Ok. I'm Not-thinking-about-Potter today. Just sitting here not thinking about Potter. Maybe I'll do some Charms homework.

Ha.

That'll teach him.

In my room

I gave up on the charms when I realised I wrote

'The wand movement is especially important when the creepies have got Potter. This is because it differs slightly from its type in the Potteryness of its sexy eyes.'

Well, you get the picture. So I've come to talk to you about why I'm not thinking about Potter, damn his name is annoying just to WRITE. Let's call him 'Bagpuss'. I always thought he was kind of eeeevil.

Anyhoo. So. I was talking to my friends, who are evil, backstabbing, psycho, biker, junkie hos. Just FYI. We were talking about Flavia, who's new 'bit-of- (I'm blanking out her icky icky words there) is Sirius Black, famed womanizer and cad.

She can't help it poor girl. She can't wait to dump him.

And/or shag him.

Then we get on to other people's boyfriends. And Flavia (THAT BITCH) says she thinks I like

Bagpuss. BAGPUSS! Does that mean nothing to you, you stupid diary?

Oh right. I guess not.

And of course he was standing behind us. So he swoops up and after exchanging, alright, yelling some choice expletives I stormed off. And he's been calling me Mrs. Bagpuss all day.

In My Room

Thinking about Potter….I mean….Crap.

That's actually quite creepy.

He clearly has deep mother issues.

WHY DID I NOT THINK OF THAT AT THE TIME?

OK. I will distract myself with self improvement. TO THE MIRRORS!

Bathroom

Depressed

I hate my nose. I look like Nero. I may go nuts and burn something down.

Rome's nice this time of year, I hear.

I can't play the violin though. The air guitar would work, right?

Maybe I'll get a t-shirt that says

'I always ask myself: What would Nero do?

Heheheh. That'll teach him. Stupid Bagpu…DAMN IT!

Still Bathroom

Still so very very depressed

I hate myself. On the one hand, there's a lot of opportunity for self improvement.

Wow. That is so not comforting. I need angry girl music. And chocolate.

Lots of chocolate.