Disclaimer: Okay, okay, I'll actually do a real one here. For once. Well, maybe not, since I would say that any recognizable characters don't belong to me, but if you've read my other fics like this, you should recognize some of them, mainly Ashley, Kerri, and Celia. And I don't own the SVU kids and whatnot.

Note to the readers: All right, I know how nicknames can get really confusing, so here's a nice little chart to help you get through the highly complex issues of this story. I hope.

Ashley is Padfoot and Olivia

Kerri is Cassidy

Celia is Wormtail

Chelsea (who may or may not actually get in here) is Moony

Hope that helps! On to the story!

The End of the World

Chapter One

"Hey Wormtail!" Ashley yelled down the desolate hallway. "Have you seen whatsherface?"

Celia stopped and turned around, waiting for Ashley to catch up to her.

"That was awfully specific of you," she commented with a smirk. Ashley's response was to stick her tongue out like the mature junior she was.

"I know, right? The one with the ness."

"Moony?"

"No, not Moony. If I had wanted Moony, I would have said I wanted Moony. Since I didn't say I wanted Moony, obviously I don't want Moony. I want the other one."

Celia, kudos to her, actually comprehended this. Or, at least she did a smashing job of pretending she did.

"Kerri?"

"Cassidy! That's it! That's the one!" Ashley snapped her fingers excitedly.

"Nope. Haven't seen her."

"You're no help, you know that?"

Celia smiled evilly.

"Uh huh."

The pair skulked their way down to their first period chemistry class. There, waiting for them, was none other than the person in question.

"Cassidy!" Ashley shrieked, glomping the girl.

"Olivia!" Kerri squealed, glomping her back.

"Why are you here?" Celia asked, interrupting the joyful reunion.

"And why are we so damn perky?" Ashley asked, realizing that none of them had gotten any coffee or alternate form of caffeine thus-far.

"Because I'm in all your classes today, that's why!" Kerri said cheerily. Before they could ask why, the question was answered for them. "Don't ask me why, that's what the guidance office told me and I didn't question it."

"Good plan." Ashley said, looking considerably happier about being up and educated (mostly unsuccessfully) at such an inhumane hour of the morning. Celia nodded her agreement.

Of course, just then, the bell rang.

"I thought we were late, like, ten minutes ago..." Ashley said, looking very confused.

"Whatever." Kerri responded. "Don't knock it."

"Who said anything about knocking it?" Ashley asked as they filed into their classroom and found their seats. Well, Ashley and Celia found their seats, this being their regular class and all, and Kerri just kind of sat in an empty chair behind Ashley.

"All right, kids, let's take attendance," the teacher said in something of a monotone. Kerri and Ashley, who had been talking avidly about the episode of Law and Order that had been on the night before, perked up at the sound of the teacher's voice.

"Hey..." Ashley said slowly, "Doesn't that kinda sorta sound like..."

"Yeah, it kinda does." Kerri responded. "But it couldn't be, right?"

The girls stared at each other for a moment before slowly turning around and getting an eyeful of their new teacher. He was wearing all black for the most part, from his dress pants to fancy jacket. The thing that really hit them, however, was the sunglasses the man was wearing indoors.

"Holy shit!" they shrieked at a decibel that humans really shouldn't have to endure, especially at that hour of the morning, "It's Munch!"

At the sound of his voice, John Munch looked in their direction.

"Yes?"

The girls stared at him, then back at each other, then back to him, eyes bulging, mouths wide open. Celia, who seemed to have a decent grasp of what was going on, groaned.

"Not this again..."

Before anyone had the chance to ask what she meant by "again", Kerri and Ashley simultaneously let out an ear piercing shriek. They vaulted out of their seats and jumped over a few backpacks before they got to the front of the room. When they did, they launched themselves at the teacher, who really wasn't a teacher at all. In fact, it was none other than Special Victims Unit Detective John Munch, smart-ass god.

Munch looked down skeptically at the two teens who were now latched onto him for dear life.

"Somehow I knew this was going to happen..." he muttered, followed by something about government conspiracies.

Two minutes later, the girls showed no signs of loosening their death grip. Munch shrugged and decided to just work around them.

"All right, then, kids, here's what we're going to do today - talk about how the government is trying to steal all our DNA and clone us in order to provide the country with an army of super-clones that will end up taking over the world and killing all the real humans due to our inferior intellect."

From her position on Munch's side, Ashley groaned.

"He's kidding right? If I have to sit through another deranged conspiracy theory, I'm gonna shoot something."

"Shh!" Kerri said, intently. "I wanna hear this."

Ashley smacked her head into Munch's shoulder, as if she was trying to hit herself in the head but didn't want to move her arms and let her prey escape.

So, for the next thirty seven minutes or so (but who's counting?), Munch rambled on and on about government conspiracies and the like. Ashley, as well as the majority of the rest of the class, took the opportunity to catch up on some much-needed sleep. Kerri, however, listened intently the entire time, despite the fact that her arms were starting to get tired.

When the bell finally rang, the class filed out of the room, glad to finally be away from the mindless droning. Kerri, Ashley, and Celia remained behind, however. The only reason for this can be attributed to the fact that Ashley and Kerri were still latched onto Munch and probably would have trouble letting go even if they wanted to, and Celia was deciding to be nice and wait for Ashley so they could walk to the second of their six common classes together. Besides, she kinda felt bad for the detective; no one should have to be subjected to the likes of her friends. No body. Not even that moron Voldemort.

Munch looked down at the girls again.

"So, um, I don't suppose you two would be willing to get off me now?"

The girls shook their heads cheerily.

"Nope."

"What if I gave you As?"

"No. Tempting, but no. Bribing doesn't work on us."

"What the hell are you talking about? Of course it does." Ashley said incredulously.

"All right, yeah, it does. Just not right now." Kerri added.

"Unless you want to give us coffee," Ashley stuck in. "In which case we'll be out of your way in no time flat."

"But I don't have coffee." Munch said pathetically, looking for all the world that if only he had some, life would be so much better.

"Then we're not going anywhere."

"But Ashley!" Celia protested, "We have to go to Psych."

Ashley's eyes lit up at the prospect of going to her favorite class.

"Ooh, that's right! We're supposed to be psychoanalyzing people, right? I wanna psychoanalyze Mr. Livsey!" (A/N: Just so you know, Mr. Livsey is one of my all-time favorite teachers, who very conveniently teaches the only AP Psychology course my school offers.)

"Don't count on it." Munch said, desperate for a way out of his current predicament.

"Meaning what, exactly?" Ashley asked, immediately suspicious of the concept that her beloved Mr. Livsey wasn't there.

"Meaning I'll tell you if and only if you get the hell off me." Munch said with a very unMunch-like evil smirk.

Kerri and Ashley exchanged looks, then slowly released him.

"That's better..." Munch sighed, looking relieved.

"Now tell me what the hell you meant!" Ashley demanded, never one to be kept in suspense.

"Oh, only that he's not going to be there."

"And who is?" Suspicious looks were exchanged all around

"Someone else."

"You really piss me off sometimes, you know that, Munch?"

Munch smiled coyly.

"I try."

Before any of the girls could come up with some smart-ass response to that, Chelsea walked in the room.

"Guys, we're going to be late if we don't hurry."

"Well, Moony, then we're just going to be late because I for one flat-out refuse to leave until this asshole provides me with some answers!" Ashley stated angrily.

"Hey!" Kerri shrieked. "Don't call Munch an asshole!"

"I will if you stop constantly bashing Elliot and my darling Cassidy!"

"Yeah, well, I will when you stop trying to kill off Casey and Huang!"

"Yeah, like that's ever gonna happen!"

While Kerri and Ashley were heatedly debating the issue, Celia, Chelsea, and Munch exchanged looks. Finally, Munch sighed and said,

"Go to class and you'll see one of them."

Immediately, both bickering girls turned to him.

"Really? Which one?"

"Is it Elliot? Please please please please please please please tell me it's Elliot!"

"It's not going to be Elliot, you dope, so stop thinking it!"

"Shut up!"

"Me shut up? You shut up!"

This again went on for a while. Eventually, the bell rang, and both girls looked expectantly at Munch.

"Can we have a pass?"

Munch stared at them.

"No."

"But-"

"No."

"But-"

"Go to class!" Munch bellowed, quite uncharacteristically. The girls cowered behind each other and exchanged frightened looks. Then, roughly two seconds later, they were out the door and sprinting to their psychology class.