Title: Resolution
Rating: PG
Warnings: Unbeta-ed, AU, ignore character death
Genre: General, angst
Main Character(s): Shinn, Rey
Ship(s): None.
Summary: I want to be a soldier so that I can protect those that I love and care about and fight for those who can't. One shot.
Disclaimer: Kidou Senshi Gundam Seed, Kidou Senshi Gundam Seed Destiny, characters and places are copyright to Hajime Yate, Yoshiyuki Tomino, Sotsu Agency and Sunrise.
Author's Notes: This is a little disjointed in some places. Most are Shinn's rather disjointed thoughts, a couple flashback and the present. I'm trying to explain the reason why he would be willing to enlist back into the military once more. There is a reference to the third drabble, Rain but you don't to read that to read this.

Why do you want to be a soldier?

For whom do you fight for?

For what do you fight for?

I want to be a soldier because I want to protect the people from suffering the same fate as I did. I fight for the people and their dreams. I fight so that a repeat of the war two years ago won't happen again.

Liar.

It did happened again, didn't it? So many people had died, whether they had participated in the war or not. You chose to be a soldier for your own selfish wish and desire. For vengeance on your family and loss. You want to avenge their senseless deaths by that gundam and the easiest way is to become a soldier. Come, there is no need to deny it. After all, it is the truth.

In the end, it is all down to revenge.

He will admit to the truth. That the reason he had enrolled in the academy and become a Red ZAFT. To avenge his family's death. That was all there is to it. Those smiles and words about protecting the people, fighting for the people were just that. Words only. A lot of bull, even to his own ears. He never had the people's interest at heart. If he had, he wouldn't have nearly destroyed ORB and killed Cagalli Yula Athla. He would never have tried to kill Kira Yamato. He would never had tried to kill Athrun Zala and nearly cut through Lunamaria to get to him.

It was all just down to one thing and one thing only.

Revenge.

"Not everyone has to have a noble cause to join the military and be a soldier," Rey had said, when he asked the earlier. He sniffed. "Like Athrun or Kira-san."

"Then, you were planning on genocide along with the Chairman that time when you joined?" he had asked, half-jokingly.

Rey had looked at him thoughtfully, until he fidgeted uncomfortably at the stare. Then, a small smile. "I wanted to make the world a better place," he said, turning back to look at the setting sun. "So that there'll be no more wars, no more conflicts. Everyone will live as equal, not as Coordinators or Naturals or Newtypes. Just as people."

"Then, do you still want to? That dream, I mean?"

"That would make the world a very boring place now would it? If everyone was the same?" Rey had sounded amused, his blue eyes twinkled merrily. He then turned serious in an instant. "I wouldn't want that for anyone. Each person is different, special, unique in their own way. We are our own self and no one else's. Gil– Dullindal's plan... it was wonderful when you listen to it but in reality, it wasn't. Because everyone deserves to live their lives the way they want it and be who they want to be."

The light from the moon created funny patterns on the ceiling as he stared up at it, one hand on his stomach and his other hand behind his head as he laid on the bed. Rey was sleeping soundly beside and below him on the futon, blanket drew up over his head, until only some tufts of blonde hair could be seen peeking out. He smiled, amused; his best friend always did sleep that way, even from way back in the academy.

I wanted to be a soldier because I wanted to defeat that gundam and the pilot, because I wanted revenge for my family, my pain, my sorrow and my hate.

He drew out the pink clamshell phone from under the pillow. He still carried it around, of course. He could never let it go, even if he had let go of his hatred, his pain and his sorrow. This was a part of his family, the last piece that tied him and them together. After all, he had nothing left of them when their home was destroyed. All that was left was Mayu's pink phone. He flipped the cover open, browse through the menu until he came to the gallery where she kept most of the photos. He stopped at a photo of them, looking at it for a long while.

"Luna asked me again when I'm going to enlist in the military," he had said, as they lay on their respective sleeping places in the bedroom. Rey had offered – practically shoved – the bed to him while he took the futon on the floor. "She said something about how it's the one thing I can be good at and can do, blah, blah."

"Are you?" his best friend had asked, sleepily.

"I don't know..."

"Why do you want to join the military now? Is it because Luna wants you to or because you want to? For what reasons?" Rey had said, turning over and tugging the blanket high up. His voice was muffled. "You'll find your answer much easier the second time round. And don't think too hard or you'll hurt your head."

He had scowled at the already half-hidden boy, knowing Rey was smirking from behind that blanket. He needed to tell Luna to stop administering her dodgy humour on him. It was maddening at times.

Why do you want to be a soldier? For whom do you fight for? For what do you fight for?

I want to be a soldier to protect everyone that I know and love, this place that I call home and love, families and friends that I care about. I want to fight for their sakes when they can't fight for themselves. I want to keep them safe so that none of them will have to face the horrors of war ever again.

He closed the phone, pushing it back under the pillow and rolled over on his side to sleep.

Tomorrow, he decided, sleepily. He will meet with Representative Athla at the base and tell her of his decision.

He hoped that Rey and Luna wouldn't too smug when he did tell them.

Owari.