Title: Hell Froze Over

Author: Fyyrrose

Rating: T … I like T. It's a safe rating

Disclaimer: Yeah not mine…cause if it was I would've made sure it was resolved or they all die…pick one

Summary: Roy's in charge and made some changes another challenge fic

Notes: Yeah, I had a plot for this right away…It's scary how easy this was. It just took me forever until I was possessed and wrote this. And as always, big thanks to my patient and kind and caring beta who corrected my grammar...we love you E..and as always be kind enought to review.


It started like an ordinary day. The birds outside were chirping, the sun was rising over the horizon, and the children were running about playing ball.

Then reality hit and it was anything but an ordinary day.

Everything was wrong. Everything was up in arms. It was all because of one person, no, one man. Well, at least he considered himself to be a man. I, on the other hand, considered him a beast. A vile, self-centered creature from the pits of the abyss.

He needed to be taken out back and tortured, maimed and humiliated. No, oh no, that was too good for him. He needed something much, much worse. Ever since the Furhur was killed, he has been in charge. This was worse than a nightmare. This was something I couldn't wake up from. Oh yes, this was a living nightmare. It was like waking up screaming in the middle of the night only to realize you haven't fallen asleep. It was that bad.

I wanted to run away, but I wasn't a coward. Oh no, I wasn't going to let him have the satisfaction of seeing me back down. Instead I was going to get my revenge. Revenge was a dish I would have the sadistic pleasure of serving. Instead of serving it ice cold, I needed it done while the fire was still an icy blue. I even had to sell my soul to get this…but it would be worth it in the long run.

Like I said, I sold my soul. I didn't really, but I did sell my pride. I would not be wearing this thing any more. I don't care if it was an order; I would not be listening to it anymore. I've had enough!

For a while everything was peaceful. Then Roy Mustang got promoted. That's when the peace fell. That's when all hell broke loose. Well not really, but within the military ranks it did. I should know because I am the leader of said revolt.

I wouldn't be up in arms if this never happened, but it did and I am. As you might have guessed, Roy's first order of business: miniskirts. That's right. As a female officer, I cannot stand for this injustice any longer!

I stood up for the rights of all female officers and took the initiative into my own hands. So, I went from the frying pan and into the fire. I went to him and asked for his help. It was either do as Roy says and wear these monstrosities, or I seek aid in my plight. Naturally, I turned to the enemy.

Since most of them were destroyed, I had to seek the most powerful of them. Which led me to him. When I first saw him, I tried not to laugh. He was wearing what I hated most. I seriously tried not to laugh, but the irony of it all was too much.

So we sat down like civilized people and talked. Well, I did most of the talking, and he simply glared like he was about to eat me. Yes, I will admit that he scared the living daylights out of me.

Of course he would; he's Envy. He's one of them. However, he was the only one I could turn to. Without Ed here, there was no one left to keep Roy in place. There was only me. Like I've said I've had enough. Even though I might not have technically said it, I think my actions here speak loud enough.

I kept my trigger-happy fingers close to the pistol at my side. I couldn't trust him, but when you really don't have a choice, you take what you can get. So I plead my case and begged for his help. Yes, I have resorted to begging. I felt like a dog. I hated it.

The whole time he was laughing at me. I wanted to shoot him down and slice off that smug look off his face. It was irritating and it pissed me off. It almost made me wish that I hadn't come here. I had to adjust my skirt again. This was annoying. Like I said almost.

Every time I have to adjust this blasted piece of clothing, it only serves to convince me further of my fight for justice. So I sat and I plead my case. I sound like a little child, but a girl's gotta do what a girl's gotta do.

I see a slight twinkle in his eye, and I don't know if I should be scared…or if I should be amused. I know either way, today is going to get hectic. I sit back and sigh. I've made my case, and I adjust the blasted skirt again. I want to rip this bloody thing from my skin. Seriously, how could a woman wear something like this? Not to mention everyday. How could a woman move, let alone fight, in this tiny piece of cloth?

I hate this. I snarled and attempted to fix the hemline again. I swear to god that this was made so that I would be doing this forever. I hate these things. It was short. Too short.

I looked up to see him laughing. He was laughing at me. I couldn't take it. I snapped. I drew my gun and cocked it back. I was on a very short fuse. Okay, so in reality I no longer had a fuse. Trust me, if one more person made a catcall, I would cut out their tongue and make them eat it.

I wouldn't even think twice about it. Snapped? I've gone beyond the point of snapping. Look at me; I've resorted to dealing with the sworn enemy. So yeah…

So now I have a smirking bastard seated in front of me. Actually, he's not really sitting; it's more like a crouch. Thank god too, because if he were to move a little, he would possibly give a girl quite a show. I've always wondered how big they really are. I mean they aren't human.

Come on now, like you've never thought about it. They are like super humans (only evil) so are other parts of them 'super' too?

"I'll do it."

I snapped my head up. He'll do what? I really wasn't paying attention. Yeah, it's kinda hard to concentrate when you have something like that swimming around in your head.

"I'll help you get your revenge."

Realizing I still had my gun pointed at his head, I clicked on the safety and placed it back in my holster. I nodded my head and turned to leave. I had no more business I needed to conduct with him, so I left.

"Tell him today at noon in front of his office."

Again I nodded my head. I had to adjust the bloody skirt again. I was ready to tear this thing off of me! I walked back to work without a trail of bodies. I was very proud of myself. Did I want to know why he was going to help? Sure, but I wasn't going to look a gift horse in the mouth.

Walking into Mustang's office, I was surprised that he wasn't there. He was probably out walking the halls with his tongue down to his knees. Men were such pigs. I hurried over to his desk and pulled out his extra pair of gloves.

I even pulled out the extra one that was taped on the underside of his desk. I couldn't have him be prepared for Envy now could I? I could hear his panting from down the hall so I quickly stuffed the gloves in my pockets and grabbed his date book. I was reduced to glorified eye candy/secretary.

He walked in and his jaw almost hit the floor. It was like this since this started. Yes I had nice legs, now grow up.

"Sir, you have your manicure appointment in ten minutes. Shall we depart?"

I smirked inwardly as Roy dropped everything. Oh yes, he enjoyed getting pampered by women that were scantly clothed. It was sickening. A manicure was perfect. It would give me time to take away the pair of gloves he was wearing now.

Yes, I was an evil and callous witch, but this needed to be done. It was either him or me, and frankly, I liked me.

So like the good little girl I was, I followed him to his appointment and helped him settle into the chair. I dutifully took his gloves and held on to them. They would be ruined had they stayed beside him. Nail polish could have spilt or the buffering powder could have tarnished the—yeah the possibilities.

So, the manicure finished an hour or so later and he wanted his gloves, but of course I told him that the nail polish would rub off and spots would appear on his hands if he placed them back on. Sometimes I was good. And when I was good, I was really, really bad.

It was noon on the nose. I forgot to tell him when the outside wall exploded. I guess it was too late now. Oh well, what's done is done.

There standing in the debris was Envy. How he could move so freely? It made me want to scream in frustration. I ran to the door in the confusion and locked it for good measure. Roy held out his hand for his gloves, but when I didn't hand them over he knew.

I smirked with all the pent up rage I was feeling. For good measure I took out my pistol and clicked off the safety. Oh it was going to be fun. Revenge was sweet. No, this was not revenge; this was justice. My justice.

I heard him snarl my name, but I stood strong and steadfast. To show him I was deadly serious I cocked my pistol at him.

"You joined the enemy?" He snarled at me.

I couldn't help but smile. He was as helpless as a newborn kitten with no claws.

"Why?"

I couldn't say anything because I was gloating too much. I could hear men on the other side of the door, but I paid them no heed. The live pay-per-view action was right in front of me.

"Seems the lady doesn't like your new dress code. I came to rectify it." Envy, with the grace of a cat stalking his prey, landed onto the solid wood floor.

Slightly confused, Mustang asked, "Why would you help her?"

Envy shrugged. "She reminded me of my mother. How could I say no?"

"She looks nothing like your mother!" Roy snarled.

Again Envy shrugged, "She's a female and she's around the same age. What more do I need?"

Same age! Was he calling me old? I fumed. Miniskirt or not, both were now going to pay.

"I know the way you operate Envy, so what's the real reason?"

Envy gracefully slid up to the defenseless and powerless Roy. Envy's grin was that of a Cheshire cat. "No one should look as good in a miniskirt as I do."