Hey guys! I'm sorry if this chapter isn't that great I've been feeling like, ug! for a while, but I was desperate to update since I haven't done so in forever. Let me know what you think! Thank you!

Chapter Eleven – Journey Back Home

Four days after the fire and Bobby and Jack were ready to go home from the hospital. Angel sat beside Jack's bed and picked at titbits of his dinner.

"Hey, kiddo. Did you eat your lunch or did you let this big waste of space get it?"

Angel growled as he swallowed parts of a blueberry muffin.

"He said he wasn't hungry!" Angel protested, eyes glaring at his older brother.

Bobby chuckled and placed a hand on the top of Jack's head.

"Jack?"

The teenager looked up from his hands resting in his lap. He was still in bed, blanket over his lower body and his eyes were still red and puffy. He had little pink marks at the top of his cheeks from where he had rubbed at his tears and Bobby just wanted to hold him close and make all the pain disappear. Wasn't that what brothers were supposed to do?

"Sorry, what did you say?" His voice was still shaky, still close to breaking down with grief.

"Don't worry about it. Hey, did you know we were both being released today? No more of these flimsy hospital gowns, eh?" Bobby smiled, maintaining eye contact with Jack, trying hard to infect a smile on his lips. He was rewarded with a blank look and a quiet cough. A black claw clutched at his heart. He couldn't bear to see Jack so distraught for one more second.

"Angel, you stay here and I'll go get changed. Ma will be here soon to get us."

Bobby walked to the bathroom chewing his lip. As soon as he got in through the door he collapsed against it and ran two hands down his face. He slid down the door slowly and exhaled loudly. He felt so useless. So powerless. So goddam…..Suddenly all the frustration, pain and grief erupted and Bobby leapt to his feet and pounded the wall over and over. He kicked at the toilet and punched around him till blood flowed from his knuckles.

"Why! Fuck! Fuck!" He screamed and threw his whole body off the tiled wall. The glistening, pristine tiles were smeared with copper brown/red blood and little chunks of white powder and wall flaked off. A desperate and pathetic sob tackled its way out of Bobby and with that he fell to his knees clutching around his body. He should have been able to do something. He should have been able to save two little kids from death and despair.

Then it clicked. This wasn't just frustration and disappointment burrowing through him for not being able to protect Jack, but there was raw emotion concerning an event in his past. How could he forget about such a catastrophe? He gasped and clambered towards the sink, throwing up. He coughed harshly and wiped his sweaty face with the back of his hand. I guess if you try to forget about something so much and you spend most of your childhood suppressing a memory, it is bound to get buried within the layers of mind. Jack's openly exposed grief had dug up his own pain, but his subconscious had kept the actual memory concealed until now. Now however, he knew the real reason why he was kept awake all night, why he chewed his lip till he could taste blood, why he felt nauseous. He had experienced the same thing. He had lost his best friend to a fire.

"Bobby! Bobby! Oh God! Someone help me! Please"

The scream for life, engraved in his mind now scratched its way to the surface and Bobby visibly shuddered with the image.

"……Elle…" He whispered before he was swept once more in a sea of nausea and he vomited the remaining of his lunch until dry heaves had him panting for fresh air.

"Put your shirt on, ya' skinny hedgehog." Angel teased and scratched his own head indicating he was talking about the unkempt, spiky blonde hair of his youngest brother.

Jack rolled his eyes and plucked the white shirt from Angel's fingers. He sat on the end of the bed and buttoned the shirt as his feet swung backwards and forwards.

"Where's Bobby?" Jack enquired smoothing out the creases.

Angel shrugged and bit into an apple. He chewed loudly and checked his watch quickly.

Entering the ward was Jeremiah and Evelyn. Jack smiled when he saw them and stood up from the bed.

"Ready to go home?" Evelyn asked and hugged the teenager tightly. Jack closed his eyes and let himself be held. The woman smelt of caramel and potpourri.

"Where's Bobby?" Jeremiah asked, hands on hips. Angel shrugged again and took another bite out of the apple. Jeremiah shook his head.

"Jeremiah you take Jack and Angel to the car. I'll wait for Bobby."

"No problem, Ma."

As the three walked away and checked out with a nurse, Evelyn waited. After all these years she could sense when her child was upset. She drummed her fingers over her elbow as she crossed her arms in front of her.

"Come on, Bobby. You got to come to me." She whispered. A tap on the shoulder had her spinning round on her heels.

"Ma." Bobby stated simply and quietly. He was pale with tears still freshly coating his dark eyes.

"Come here." She beckoned him towards her and hugged him fiercely.

"We're going to get through this. We will. We have to be strong for one another." Bobby didn't trust himself to speak, but nodded into his mother's shoulder.

"I trust you, Ma."

"I'm not seeing a counsellor! I'm not fucking skitzo, ok!" Jack hollered climbing to his feet. It was two days after the boys had come home from hospital and during that time Jack had stayed locked in his room, not even venturing to eat. It was harder than everyone thought to deal with a heart-broken and grief-stricken teenager.

"Jack, please don't swear at me. I just think it would be best to talk to someone about how you feel."

"What do you know!" He yelled. He was so scared of losing control of his feelings to someone he didn't even know and when Jack got scared he covered it with anger. He had spent the last few days drowning any tear that threatened to flow or any emotional pain bubbling up to his mind. He hadn't spoken to anyone and one of the first conversations he was having after some number of days had him screaming with adrenaline coursing round his veins and he didn't completely understand why.

"Jack, please."

"No! No! You can't make me see anyone! You can't make me do anything! You're not my mother and you never will be!" And with that he fled the living-room leaving a shocked and emotional Evelyn.

He climbed out to the window of his bedroom and sat on the roof staring up at the stars. He waited till his heart rate slowed to normal and his panting became regular even breaths until he could even think about what he had said to Evelyn. He was so wrapped up in guilt and embarrassment that he didn't hear someone climbing onto the roof.

"Jack." Bobby whispered quietly.

"Go away." He replied gruffly.

"No."

"I mean it, Bobby. Get lost."

"No."

"Go away. Just leave me alone!"

"No."

"Leave me alone!"

"No."

"LEAVE ME ALONE!" Jack's face was red and emotion was scarring his features as he jumped at Bobby. "Leave me! Leave me alone!" He hit the man over and over until he was left a hollow wreck of tears. Bobby caught him before he fell to the roof.

"I'm never going to leave you alone." Bobby whispered in Jack's ear and both brothers fell to their knees gripping each other with all their strength.

As the night got darker and the stars got brighter their grip loosened and one last tear dripped off Jack's chin. He wiped it and smiled sadly up at Bobby.

"You'd think I'd cried enough."

"You can cry all you want if it makes you feel better."

"How do you know it makes you feel better?"

"Because I know, Jackie."

Then they sat in silence for what seemed like an eternity with Bobby clasping his youngest brother round the shoulders.

"Bobby?"

"Hmm?"

"I love you."

"I love you too, kiddo."