The idea for this fic was thought of by the brilliant FireOpal, who will probably claim copyright on something here... yes people, it's SLASH, that's male/male relationships. Yah boo sucks to you fritzy if you don't like it and go away.
The lyrics are from A Perfects Circle's Pet
Don't fret precious I'm here, step away from the window
Go back to sleep
I gather the scrawny child in my arms and carry him effortlessly to the bed. The boy is almost weightless, and is no burden to me. I lay Harry down on the bed, helping the tired body under the covers and tucking him into the warmth that the bed provides.
The window is open, the curtain floating gently into the room in the night breeze. I step up to the window and look out onto the landscape of London Muggle nightlife. Drunken catcalls drift up through the sharp air to my sensitive ears, reminding me of our vulnerability in the hiding place that I have chosen for them. Reinforcing in my mind that we can not be found, I step out onto the balcony and relish the summer breeze.
Lay your head down child
I won't let the boogeyman come
Counting bodies like sheep
To the rhythm of the war drums
Pay no mind to the rabble
Pay no mind to the rabble
Head down, go to sleep
To the rhythm of the war drums
Harry shifts in the bed and allows a small moan to pass his pink lips. I glance at him, checking the condition of my charge. The boy looks relatively peaceful, but I know never to judge by looks alone. I am, after all, one of the best spies around. And the probability of Harry being agitated in his sleep is almost as likely as that Voldemort would have fun on his next torturing spree.
I move back into the room and sit down on the bed beside Harry. I reach up and touch the pale, sweaty brow, fingers tracing the faint scar that marks him, just as I am marked for all to see by the Dark Lord. So alike, yet so different.
Pay no mind what other voices say
They don't care about you, like I do, like I do
Safe from pain, and truth and choice and other poison devils,
See, they don't give a fuck about you, like I do
Harry's eyes flutter open and he licks his lips. I lean down and brush my lips over the boy's scar, causing a slight whimper to slip out of the child. His brow furrows and his mouth quirks downwards into a small frown. He looks so beautiful and innocent when he makes such faces, and I feel a small pang of remorse for what I have done. But it is soon gone, buried beneath the desire to keep him safe.
"When did you get back?" he whispers.
"Not long ago. You fell asleep beside the window."
Harry takes my hand in his own and brings it up to cradle his cheek.
"I missed you."
I gaze sadly into the dulled green eyes and smile.
"I know."
Just stay with me, safe and ignorant,
Go back to sleep
Go back to sleep
"When can I go back to school?"
"You can't. It's not safe there."
"But I'll be fine."
"I assure you, you are much more safe here. The Dark Lord cannot reach you here."
"What's wrong with me?"
Harry sounds fearful, almost terrified.I glance at him sharply. Does he remember?
"What are you talking about?"
"I'm not sure."
"Then don't trouble yourself with it. You need to sleep."
"Yes, sleep. I need to sleep. Severus?"
"Yes?"
"Will you stay with me?"
"Of course."
"You won't leave?"
"No."
"You do in my dreams."
Lay your head down child
I won't let the boogeyman come
Counting bodies like sheep
To the rhythm of the war drums
Pay no mind to the rabble
Pay no mind to the rabble
Head down, go to sleep
To the rhythm of the war drums
I can remember that night so well. Like it only happened five minutes ago. It is imprinted onto my mind, forever haunting me into an oblivion where there is no rest. For the wicked get no peace.
I can remember his screams. I can remember his insults, thrown at anyone close enough to hear. I remember the look on his face as he glared so angrily at me, and remember thinking that someone so young should not be so angry. I remember the way his eyes looked dead and flat afterwards, once he was released.
I don't think that I should dwell on such things. Yet it is partly my fault, of the consequence that I have brought about. I know that it happened, and nothing can change it. I also know that it could not be changed at the time. And yet somehow, I feel an odd sort of compassion and yet also detachment whenever I think about it. I think about every passing moment.
I'll be the one to protect you from
Your enemies and all your demons
I'll be the one to protect you from
A will to survive and a voice of reason
I'll be the one to protect you from
Your enemies and your choices son
They're one and the same
I must isolate you
Isolate and save you from yourself
A faint creak outside in the corridor and I am on my feet in an instant, wand drawn and held steady, prepared to hex the person. But nobody comes. My paranoia has got the better of me again, as it has done for the past few weeks. Every moan this old block issues, every sharp crack of a branch startles me and I know that I am being ridiculous. After all, who wants the Boy Who Lived now? Who wants him, except me?
The meddling old fool would manipulate and twist him, moulding him into some kind of warrior for his own personal use. The Dark Lord would break him further until he shattered into a million or more tiny pieces with no hope of putting him back together. Yet he is still here, still breathing, heart still beating, lying almost peacefully in the bed. He doesn't seem to understand.
Swayin' to the rhythm of the new world order and
Counting bodies like sheep to the rhythm of the war drums
The boogeyman are coming
The boogeyman are coming
Keep your head down, go to sleep
To the rhythm of the war drums
I think that part of me is glad that this abomination took place. Without it, we would not be in this situation as it is. Without it, we would still be blinded my malice and grudging history that spoilt any kind of other emotion that ever cared to make its way towards our relationship. Now we can understand each other on a level that I doubt many others can boast. We are one and the same, so alike, and yet so different. Who could understand the bond that has grown so strongly between the two most unlikely people? Who can explain the unexplainable?
As I look at him now, lying innocently in the large bed that I shall soon join him in, I have to wonder if he does truly understand what is happening to him. After all, he is only sixteen.
Stay with me
Safe and ignorant
Just stay with meHold you and protect you from the other ones
The evil ones
Don't love you son,
Go back to sleep
Like it? Comments much appreciated! Also, please check out my other fics. They need attention desperately.
Many thanks!
smokey