Hi! Welcome to my first Hana-Kimi fanfic! I really love the series and have recently my creative muses have found root in their storylines, so I decided to go with the flow and start writing. I'm going to use Hana-Kimi as a way to keep my writing fingers stretched and on a daily workout, so sometimes it won't always be pretty, but I hope the story will at least be entertaining to you fans of Hana-Kimi out there!
Speaking of this story, it's called "Fragile Threads" for no real reason other than it sounds pretty and I thought of a nice little introduction to it. :3
Important Info about this story… it takes place in BOOK 7, so if you haven't read that far, then I suggest you run out to the nearest Barnes & Nobles and do so, they're great books. If you HAVE read on, then continue…!
… You read up to Book 7, right? Right? Okay, good. Well then. This story will start where Ashiya slipped in the tub and Sano caught her, only this time we're going to take a fear different turn than the series did…
I don't like giving away pairings, but if you read the first chapter, it should be obvious on what exactly they are. I'll try to keep the characters IC, but if they float in and out of OOC, just go with it. (People change depending on the paths their many lives take, you know?)
Other than that…
Disclaimer: I do no own the Hana-Kimi manga or any riff-raff associated with Hana-Kimi. This fanfic is written as an entertainment product for the general public. Thank you.
If you'd like to R&R, that'd be great, but don't feel pressured to… and please don't give me spoilers of what will happen to everyone…
Do people realize how precariously their lives are balanced upon spider-thread paths? How even a gentle breeze can be enough to change the very course and meaning of their lives? Do they realize that their very beings are the result of accidental collisions of fate and the turbulent forces of life itself…?
… Do they appreciate that?
The water was syrupy-warm, rising about and enclosing her body in a fluid mother's embrace. Ashiya closed her eyes and let out a soft sigh, goose-bumps rushing across her shoulders and back as a crisp evening breeze stroked her bared flesh. Except for the splashing gurgle of the fountain in the center of the hot spring and the rustling whispers of the tree leaves, the night was clear and shatteringly quiet. Ashiya stared up at the stars for a moment, drawn by their haunting beauty. You couldn't see the stars so clearly from the city, with the city lights polluting the darkness.
"Ahh…" Ashiya murmured to herself, leaning back against some of the decorative stones, pulling the warmth of the spring into her body, relaxing. "I'm in heaven."
"Anyone here?"
Ashiya bolted upright, the splashing sounds of the water shattering the peace of the night. All hell, she knew, was about to break loose. 'Th- that voice!' Ashiya let any thoughts of who the voice might belong to be roughly brushed away for a more urgent purpose – she was a girl masquerading as a boy in an all boy's school lounging about naked in a hot spring on a school trip to Hokkaido, with someone else in the spring who could find out her most central and important secret and ruin her life. She was on a mission. A mission for her towel, which was laying mutinously on a rock structure in the middle of the hot spring.
'OH CRAP! It's all the way over on the other side! So far!' Ashiya attempted to shove the rising stress down and hurried as quickly as she could over the slick tiled floor of the hot spring, eyes only on her towel. If she could get to that then it'd all be alright. Who cared what anyone said about Ashiya's girly figure, as long as the real girly parts were hidden? At least her secret would be saf-
Just Ashiya's fingertips landed upon her towel, a gentle ripple in the water flowed out from the other side of the rock, merging with her own frantically splashed ripples, and Sano emerged. The water was white and milky and what Ashiya could see of Sano was naked, from stomach up, coated in a gentle sheen of sweat from the steam of the hot spring. Ashiya's eyes nearly popped out of her head, though she thought she'd be use to seeing Sano half-naked by now, being his roommate and all, but while her eyes wanted to continue their hungered staring, Ashiya's mind sank into panic.
'Wha… what is he doing here?'
Sano and Ashiya both stared at each other for a moment, frozen in shock. Neither had expected to see the other in the hot springs.
"Ah… Sano…" Ashiya murmured, dipping a little lower into the milky, clouded water of the hot springs. For once, she was glad she wasn't as well endowed as Julia. Ashiya took a couple of deep breaths, trying to calm down. "I couldn't sleep so I thought a bath would… I mean… I was wondering who was here…"
Sano was looking away, into the water, doing his best not to focus on looking at Mizuki without really knowing why. 'What's she doing here? It's way too dangerous for her to bathe in public! You never know who might come in and find out her secret…'
"Ah…" Ashiya stuttered nervously as the adrenaline slowly started to disparate in her body, giving her room to think – though, about the right things is an issue for debate. 'Is Sano mad at me? Maybe he was here to try to calm down after that fight with his brother…' Ashiya felt guilt being to creep in at the edges of her mind. 'Oh no! Maybe something really terrible happened! Or maybe Sano just really wanted to be alone! Maybe I really made him mad now! Should I ask him? No! That's just poking to his business, I told him he could tell me when he felt like telling me…' Ashiya moaned inwardly, breathing a little faster. It was hard to think about such weighty issues in the hot tub. The steam that had seemed so comforting at first was now wrapped around her head, suffocating.
"D-did you notice the water is white?" Ashiya stammered, trying to think of something – anything – to talk about to break the awkward silence. "Must be from all the bath salts…"
That was enough to pull Sano away from his confused stare. A smirk worked it's way onto his lips and he turned to Ashiya as he had a million times before, ready to scold her intelligence with some actual facts.
"Yeah right, you idiot. This is called nigoriyu – a "cloudy bath". The natural minerals make it…" Sano's voice trailed away as his eyes locked upon Ashiya's body again. Ashiya. Ashiya. The little girl who had flown across the sea just to see him, to be with him, because she liked him that much before she'd ever even met him. Ashiya, the roommate that gorged herself sick on sweets and had a mind with the attention span of a goldfish. Ashiya… Ashiya… the girl he was in love with… Ashiya… the naked girl right in front of him, in a hot spring, in the middle of the night with everyone else sleeping…
Sano's face exploded into a deep red shade as his thoughts quickly spiraled far out of his control and every breath was a struggle, his eyes still riveted onto Ashiya's form in the water before him… beads of moisture dripping from her hair, across her shoulders… sliding down her neck, her back…
"S-sano…?" Ashiya half-whispered, staring straight back at Sano's eyes. She felt like a deer caught in headlights, too enchanted to move or think…
The tension continued to draw itself out. Unseen, unsaid emotions battled in the humid, rich air around them, blocking out the world. A pulsing beat pulled the two together as fast as a piercing stab threw them apart. If ever a time could stop, no would be it… yet it marches on.
"S-sano? Are you okay?" Ashiya whispered, hearing her own voice coming from somewhere far away. Sano blinked and took a step back, feeling air suddenly rush back into his strained lungs. 'Ashiya …' his heart whispered, once more. He pushed the impulses aside, trying to get a grip on himself. 'My friend, Ashiya.'
"Have you been in too long? Your face is red!" Ashiya said, laughing. To laugh after such an ordeal felt like maniac freedom and Ashiya moved her body to her laughter, breaking the strings of this path of fate and tumbling onto another.
With a loud splash, she slipped. Sano's body caught hers. Warm flesh against flesh. Beloved against beloved. Fate against destiny. Before she could stop herself, before he could stop himself, Ashiya's legs moved forward, righting herself and Sano's arms caught her, pulling her up. Ashiya stood naked, exposed from the waist up out of the water. For Ashiya, her eyes widened and her mouth attempted to form words, any words. Like moving through molasses she began pulling away from Sano. For Sano, he stared up into Ashiya's eyes, his own bright with pity, helplessness, and desperation. He could see her very soul shattering in her eyes, all her life falling around her in pieces.
"Mizuki…" Sano whispered, staring to stand up. He wanted more than anything to wrap her towel around her, shield her from the world and her own worries, hide her from her fears, show her everything was alright…
"No…" Ashiya whispered, her arms uselessly crossed over her chest. "No!"
Tears began to pour down her face. 'No, no, no! Sano! Please!' Sobs rose up from her chest and Ashiya's eyes blurred, her head began to grow light and feel unattached. It was all over! All that work! All her hopes! Just when she thought she was getting closer to Sano, it was all going to end! She had come so far for so little! She was so close, she was in love, she was so stupid, this was all a game, all a raging fire she'd played with…
"Ashiya!" Sano's voice came from somewhere very far away as darkness enclosed Mizuki's sight and covered her mind in a veil of darkness.
Sano stared down at the unconscious girl at his feet. He was sitting, head in his knees, next to Ashiya, whom he'd carefully dressed her kimono. Sano stared with a dull interest at his hands, which had only just recently stopped shaking. He'd been so very scared. Ashiya had just suddenly fainted, falling into the water. Sano had rushed to pull her out, to check, to make sure she was still breathing. It'd taken everything in him to risk her life against her secret and not call out immediately for help, and even now his heart debated the risk over and over again in his mind, a silent torment.
"Please wake up." Sano whispered, softly. If she woke up, it'd be better. If she could just sit up and talk to him, it'd be better. His entire body shivered again, violently. The painful sort of tingling that comes when your limbs first begin to wake, covering him. "Please."
He didn't know what he was going to do if she didn't. She had to. She was breathing. She had just fainted. He was doing the right thing, this way, protecting her secret, not getting help. She'd be fine. She had to be. Sano closed his eyes and let the shaking take over for a moment, trying to let his mind escape all these thoughts. What would he do if she woke up? a little corner of his mind whispered. He brushed that thought aside roughly. He didn't need to think about what he'd do. He'd hug her, he'd hit her, he'd scream at her, kiss her… just as long as she'd get up. There was so much to do, and he couldn't do it alone.
A cracking, scraping sound made him look up. Sano's head whipped up and his dark eyes focused on Ashiya. She stared back up at him. The sound had been from her nails scrapping against the tatami floor. Her hands were balled into fists and tears were rolling down her eyes.
"Sano." Her voice was caught in-between a whisper and a pained moan. "Sano…" Ashiya rolled over, her back to Sano, and began to cry. She didn't know what else to do. Sano let her cry for a moment, then moved very slowly and laid down next to her, wrapping his arms tightly around Ashiya before she could put up any protest.
Ashiya whipped her head around, staring over her shoulder at Sano, tears glistening in her eyes and on her face, sparkling in the dull starlight. Her mind tried to make sense of what Sano was doing, but gave up. Ashiya turned around, still in Sano's arms, and buried her face against his chest, and cried softly. Sano let her cry and tightened his grip on Ashiya, slowly lowering his head into her hair, breathing in the tangible, exciting scents of Ashiya. It dawned on him, not for the first time, that this was his favorite place to be.
They laid like that for a while, until Ashiya cried herself out. Then they just laid there in silence, feeling a little awkward but mostly scared, excited, and confused. Finally Ashiya felt her mind coming alive again and she took a deep breath, slowly gathering her courage.
"Do you hate me?" She whispered, staring at the weaving of Sano's kimono with a dull sort of intensity. She didn't have the heart to even try to stare up at his face.
Sano's arms shifted around her as he got into a more comfortable position. Ashiya was suddenly struck by how carefully he held her – just enough to provide her comfort, but not enough to make it even more awkward, not enough to make her feel harassed or used…
"I've known that you are a girl from the first few days you came to Oosaka, Ashiya. I don't hate you. I…" Sano choked on his words and he pulled Ashiya tighter against him, forcing the words out. "I love you."
It was silent in the room for a moment, the only sound a thin whisper of moonlight trailing elegantly through open skylights overhead. Ashiya slowly lifted her head up and stared at Sano, her eyes dull and her breath forgotten.
I love you.
Some part of the world – of her own heart – that had forever previously been locked away from her grasp suddenly was open to her. Suddenly, it was so easy to reach out and hug Sano, to close her eyes, to hide from the world and exist only with him… and yet that future was so far away. Ashiya felt doubt and worry, reason itself, catching up to the back of her mind and moved quickly, boosting herself up to be face-to-face with Sano.
"I love you too."
And before either of them could give it another thought, they kissed, again and again, with joy, relief, their own tangled fearful excitement, and eagerness. Finally their lips parted one last time and Ashiya pulled away, and they stared into each other's eyes. Sano sighed very softly and ran his hand very slowly, hesitatingly, through Ashiya's hair.
A sort of sacred silence fell around them and they laid silently next to each other until Ashiya put her hand gently upon Sano's chest. Sano cupped her hand in his and kissed it, staring down at her. She was so small, compared to his athlete's body. So full of stubbornness and recklessness… Sano pulled Ashiya into a tight hug, gently crushing her body against his, as worries began to plague his mind.
"Ashiya…" Sano whispered, brushing his lips gently against her forehead for comfort. "What are we going to do now?"
"What do you mean?" Ashiya whispered back, looking up at Sano. She felt so warm and content where she was. She didn't want time to continue. She wanted to freeze this moment forever, and just exist solely in it…
"What will we do now? With school, with us, with life… I mean…" Sano felt his words knot on his lips and became silent again. Now that he finally had Ashiya in his arms, not as his friend Ashiya, but as the girl he loved Ashiya… he didn't know what to do…
Ashiya looked up into Sano's eyes again, her own bright and soulful.
"There is an us?"
Sano glanced down at her, startled by the question. Ashiya's face was strained between a painfully hopeful expression and one of absolute fear. He ran his fingers through her hair, then along her face, onto her chin…
"Yes."
A faint smile drew across Ashiya's face and she pressed her face against Sano's chest, feeling exhausted. Tiny tears of warm happiness flowed down her face. It was well past three in the morning and she hadn't had any sleep. Sano ran his fingers through her hair, enchanted. The world could stay like this forever…
Loud, crashing footsteps interrupted their silence, jarring both Sano and Ashiya out of their thoughts. They hesitated just a moment, loathe to separate, before pulling out of each other's arms and sitting up, straightening their kimonos. Ashiya fumbled with hers – Sano had put it on her hastily, tangling it around her legs – and managed to get herself tangled enough to fall over, letting out a gentle cry. Sano leaned over to help Ashiya just as the door slid open with a bang.
Nakatsu stood in the doorway, silhouetted by the dying lanterns behind him. His hair was messy and eyes bright from just waking up from his sleep - he'd been looking for Ashiya, finding the futon next to him deserted, as well as Sano's. All three stared at each other in shock for a moment. Nakatsu's face slowly started turning an ugly pale shade, his eyes suddenly bright with anger. Ashiya pulled her kimono down around her legs and sat up, trembling from surprise more than anything else. Nakatsu took a couple slow steps into the room and stared down at Sano with a deadly intensity.
"Ashiya," Nakatsu's voice broke from the tremendous strain of his emotions. "Are you alright?"
Ashiya jumped and Sano froze as they suddenly realized what this might look like to Nakatsu, with his biased mind. Innocent Ashiya, dragged away by Sano the brute, then unspeakable horrors conducted upon 'his' young person in the middle of the night, complete with gasping cries of – no doubt in Nakatsu's mind – protest, disarrayed kimono, and tears. Ashiya turned bright red and Sano moaned inwardly. This was more trouble than they needed at the moment.
Ashiya jumped to her feet and forced a laugh, which sounded more than a little strained.
"Yeah, I'm fine! I just got bored so I went for a midnight bath. Sano and I were just talking." Ashiya straightened her hair with her hands, walking quickly over towards Nakatsu. "Sorry to worry you."
Nakatsu's face was undergoing obvious strain, attempting to take in Ashiya's explanation. His gut told him that something else, something bad to poor Ashiya had happened here. His eyes didn't leave Sano's, who just stared back in a bored manner.
Ashiya felt a flutter of panic rise in her chest. Having Nakatsu and Sano get in a fight was not what they needed right now. Ashiya sighed inwardly and grabbed Nakatsu's arm, leaning heavily on him. She was exhausted. Nakatsu jumped at Ashiya's touch and stared down, dazed, at the 'boy' on his arm.
"Hey, let's go to bed. I'm really tired. Could you help me there?" Ashiya gave Nakatsu her best puppy-dog eyes look and was rewarded by a blush that rushed like fire over Nakatsu's face.
"S-sure Ashiya!" Nakatsu smiled dazedly at Ashiya and turned, ready to leave the room. 'This is so exciting! Ashiya needs my help!' Nakatsu thought excitedly as he placed his hand down onto Ashiya's back to help steady him. Suddenly remembering Sano, Nakatsu turned his head, to see the other boy still sitting on the floor. Nakatsu and Sano stared at each other, silently, for a moment.
"Good night, Sano." Nakatsu said, gruffly, and turned to leave the room with Ashiya gently in tow.
Ashiya turned around, her eyes mournful, and smiled a silent, secret smile of love at Sano.
"Good night, Sano." She whispered, pulled out of the room and down the hallway before he could answer. As they made their way to their room Nakatsu spoke on and on about the dangers of not getting enough sleep and asked dozens of questions related to Ashiya's health, but Ashiya only half paid attention. She was beginning to understand what Sano had meant by wondering what they would do now.
"Do you need some warm milk-" Nakatsu's voice suddenly broke violently and a small trickle of blood flowed out of his nose as perverted thoughts shot around in his head. Nakatsu blushed just as red as his blood and wiped it away with his kimono sleeve. "Um, that is, do you need something to drink, before we go to bed?"
Ashiya smiled weakly up at Nakatsu and shook her head. Now that she was almost to their bedroom, she didn't want to stay awake for another moment. Her head and heart felt too heavy from the sheer volume of what had happened in the past few hours to concentrate on such trivial things as consciousness. Nakatsu gently lead Ashiya into their large guest bedroom, filled with a chorus of snoring, sleeping boys.
'How can we enjoy ourselves as long as I'm living this lie?' Ashiya thought, tormented, as she laid down to sleep. 'But… what other choice do we have…?'
Ashiya listened as Nakatsu settled in to sleep. He didn't sound like he was actually finding rest, but Ashiya was too distracted to notice. As she finally began to sink into unconsciousness the tiny, beautiful pebble of a memory rolled around in her head again and again and again…
"I love you…"