Disclaimer: I don't anything that has to do with numb3rs.
A/N: I'm sad. I daydream. This is what became of my boredom, depression, and long classes that pertain to nothing.
The skies were dark and everything was covered in gray.
It was raining down hard on the California streets, but it wasn't necessarily a bad thing. They hadn't had a good rain in quite some time and the humidity was becoming too much to bear. Don had been praying for rain for days because of the heat, while Alan had been praying for rain because his plants outside were wilting.
It was nearly six-o'clock and classes were out at CalSci. Don was hurrying to pick up his brother but was late because of the traffic. Since it was raining so hard Alan insisted that he'd pick up his youngest son from school, but he forgot that it was his day to help out at the shelter. So he'd asked Don to drive Charlie home for dinner that night.
Don of course agreed seeing that he'd finished up another case right as his father called so he gladly grabbed his keys and walked out of his office. Once he had stepped outside he felt the first drop of rain land on his face. He looked up startled by the dark clouds he hadn't noticed but then smiled and ran to his car before he became drenched. Those types of clouds usually signaled that it was going to pelt bullets of heavy rain in mere moments.
There usually wasn't too much traffic during rainstorms, but it seemed that everyone wanted to get home at once. He drove on to the school as fast as the traffic would let him, while he listened to bad music on the radio. He didn't notice that the radio was actually on until he got stuck behind a person going half the speed limit. A song had come on that Don had never heard before. It started off softly but then when it reached the chorus the guitars wailed loudly and the drums beat wildly.
It was mainly about a guy who loved a girl, who died in his arms. The man couldn't forget her and was thinking about whether he could or should. His mind was filled about all the things that she never told him, about her smiles that were always going to plague his thoughts. He couldn't stop his mind from thinking about how he was scarred with wounds for trying to save her, and about how the ghosts that were haunting him wouldn't catch him when he fell. The only good thought he had was that when he died they'd be together forever.
Then the singer's wavering voice, filled with emotion, stopped in the middle of the line and didn't complete it. The drums went silent and guitar's last note waned mournfully on until it too faded with the voice. The song stressed the point that the woman would never come home.
He'd actually listened to that song. Usually he changed the station when he heard a song he didn't know but he thought that the one he'd just heard made a point.
When people die they don't come home. They never come home.
He approached the school's entrance but didn't see Charlie. Usually he was outsidelooking his car to drive upbut he wasn't there. He waited for almost ten minutes and still no Charlie ran out of the building.
That was weird…
Don tried his brother's cell phone only to get his voice mail.
Maybe he was working on a problem and forgot. That seemed logical right?
No other vehicles or people were around so he left his car by the curb not bothering to drive into a space. He dashed into the building covering his head with his arms as the rain pelted down hard on him. He was almost soaked in only the few minutes it'd taken him to obtain shelter inside.
He was very glad that he remembered which way it was to Charlie's office. He usually asked a student or passing teacher where to go but no one was around so he took his first instinct and ran up a few flights of darkened stairs. He didn't want to be late for his father's lasagna.
He took a few turns and slowly wandered down a hallway that looked familiar to him. He saw the words 'Dr. Charles Eppes' in gold letters on the door to his brother's office. It was open but the lights were off and Don couldn't hear the distinct sound of chalk writing furiously on the chalkboard orhis brother's mutterings of a project not turning out the way he'd wanted it to.
Maybe Amita or Larry gave him a ride home but it wouldn't hurt to make sure he hadn't fallen asleep at his desk again.
He approached the room and stuck his head inside. The desk was vacant but the chalkboard was overpopulated with problems that Don would never understand without his brother's help. They were written with such anger and vigor that they ran into each other in places and were pretty much illegible. They filled the boards in the room and next to one problem Don saw a chalk print of a hand. He could imagine his brother getting upset at not accomplishing something and hitting the board when he couldn't think of the answer.
The windows were open letting rain dribble in and drip onto the floor. He went to go shut it because he didn't want his brother to come to school the next day to a flooded office, but halfway across the room he stopped as he heard a sound.
It was soft, almost silent.
It sounded like someone was crying.
Don made his way past the desk in the front and center of the room but at the sound he spun around. He gasped at what he saw and instantly felt concerned.
There was Charlie leaning against the desk in a large dark hoodie and jeans, both covered in chalk. His eyes were red and damp, and his hair astray. His knees were drawn up to his chest as he rocked himself gently staring at his sneaker-clad feet without any interest at all. His hands were hidden within the fold of his shirt. It didn't seem that he knew his big brother was in the room.
"Charlie?"
The form in front of him took no notice of anything at all. He just kept rocking back and forth without ceasing. He looked so small in the large sweatshirt.
"Charlie?" Don said again, kneeling down next to his brother. "Are you alright?"
Charlie stopped his rocking slightly but didn't look up.
"Charlie look at me," Don said peering directly into his brother's face. "Tell me what's wrong. Have you been drinking?" he asked smelling the distinct smell of alcohol on his little brother's breath.
This time his brother did look up. His rocking finally stopped and the only thing he moved was his head. His face was still unreadable but his eyes were still dripping.
"Charlie, what's wrong?" Don asked once more looking clearly into his brothers deep brown eyes….into the eyes of someone who knew everything that Don could never understand...
"Go away…" Charlie whispered lowering his head again. Don was taken aback. Charlie rarely old him to go away.
"What…?"
"Please, go away," Charlie said in the same small voice as before, still looking at his feet.
"Charlie…"
"Leave me alone!" his little brother screamed loudly looking up. His eyes were wild with confusion, rage, dejection, and many more emotions that mingled together into one terrible tempest that wasn't too much different from the storm raging outside.
"Charlie, let me bring you home," Don said leaning back on his heals shocked at the emotions his brother was showing. "Just come home with me and everything will be alright." That was the only thing he could think of saying to him.
Don was disconcerted about what was going on. What was the matter with his brother?
Charlie looked deep into his brother's similar eyes.
"I don't want to hear you tell me that everything is alright. It's not alright!"
"What's not alright?" he asked quietly.
He watched as Charlie struggled with himself; trying to make the decision to tell his brother or not. Finally his face gave off this conquered look and all the rage that filled it moments ago was gone. Charlie's body lost all the agitation it had moments ago and his shoulders slumped foreword into one of the most defeated positions Don had ever seen. It seemed like Charlie was trying to curl up into a ball and disappear from site.
Finally, after what seemed like an eternity to Don, he spoke in a voice so crushed and sullen that it broke Don's heart. He sounded like a little child trying to run away from monsters that were constantly haunting him.
"I can't…I can't figure it out…"
"Figure what out, Charlie?" Don asked leaning foreword again.
"The problem I've been working on…"
"And what problem is that?" Don kept trying to egg him on. The more information he got the better.
Charlie looked up and his face was covered in shed tears.
"How can she not be coming home?" he paused but this time Don didn't know what to say. "I was trying to figure out a formula to explain death but…it's unexplainable… I can't stop thinking about it. N vs. NP can't even take my mind off it…"
His face screwed up in as so many emotions flew through him once more. "How did I not notice? Why didn't I do something!" He bent his head forward onto his knees and started to sob softly.
"Charlie…" Don said a he put his hand on his brother's shoulder.
The youngest Eppes flinched and pulled back. "Don't touch me…" he hissed. "I don't deserve your pity or comfort. I have to see her and make sure she comes home this time…"
"Charlie…" Don started but stopped when he noticed that his brother was hiding something under his arms. "What's that?"
"Nothing…"
"Charlie let me see it."
He opened his mouth as if to argue but then saw the worried glare in his big brother's eyes. He unfolded his arms and showed his brother what he hhad kept hidden from him.
Don's eyes went wide and he was speechless for a moment.
"I'd do it you know…" Charlie was muttering staring at the object and holding it tightly in his hands. "Back at school they all said I'd never do it even though some begged me to…they weren't very nice...butI'd do it now though. I miss her so much…"
"Charlie, give me the gun…" Don said holding out a seemingly steady hand.
"You don't think I'd be able to do it do you?" An accusing glare came into his eyes. "I'd do it. I'll do it now…"
He lifted the gun holding tightly to the trigger, and pointed it to his head.
"Charlie, you're drunk," Don said smelling the alcohol on his breath once more. "You don't want to do this…"
"How would you know?" he spat still holding the weapon. "Since when did you start to care? Was it when you found out that I could be the person who solved all of your hardest cases!"
"No, Charlie," Don said shocked that his brother would even think that. "I've always cared buddy. It just never showed…"
"No! You were Dad's star athlete! He tried to understand me but never could and I think he gave up and started working on you…the normal son. Mom was the only one who came close to understanding! But now she's dead! She's never coming home!"
"She was my mother too, Charlie and I miss her terribly, but you can't do this." Don kept his hand out for the gun trying not to freak out in the situation. "Give me the gun…"
The mathematician's lower lip trembled and he squeezed his eyes shut.
"I know that this might feel like the right thing to do buddy, but it's not," Don said desperately trying anything to get his brother to lower the weapon. "I know you want to see her but she's not ready to see you yet. She'd want you to be happy and live life. She loved you till the end…Dad needs you. You can't leave him like this... you can't leave Larry and especially Amita by shooting yourself in your office. It would break them, Charlie. It would…it would break me!"
Silence filled the office then as Charlie opened his eyes and loosened his grip on the gun. A soft rumble of thunder echoed from the distance.
"Did you hear me Charlie? I love you and I wouldn't be able to bear the thought of losing you…when I almost lost you when that sniper took that shot at you, I almost diedwatching. You don't know what it'll do to me…to Dad...to everyone…"
Charlie's hand started to tremble dangerously until at last he lowered it and dropped the gun to the floor. Don instinctively swatted the gun away and it skidded across the floor and under a table. Then Charlie fell foreword into his awaiting arms crying hard and furiously.
"She's never coming home...I'm sorry…I'm sorry…" he said in short gasps. Don held him tightlyyet gently.he held the back of his head to his chest.
"It's alright now… it's going to be alright…" he muttered back to him in comforting tones, fighting back tears.
He looked out the window at the storm.
Outside the rain was pouring hard causing the trees to sway and drip water onto the earth. Puddles were forming on the lawn and asphalt. The wind was slowly dying down sothat the trees were no longer whipping about. Don knew that within the next few days the rain would fully stop and the puddles would dry away leaving everything like it used to be, but the rain would cause new things to grow from the now fertile soil. Somethings were changed but new things would take their place.
End
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A/N: I've wanted to do that fic for awhile now. I started this when I saw the video "The Ghost of You" by My Chemical Romance. It is so depressing but awesome! I have seen it over fifty times now… that was the song Don heard on the radio by the way…
This is an h/c fic celebrating less than a week until season 2! Woohoo! School is killing me so all my other fic ideas are dying just as they start to form and I am teaching religion to first graders again his year so expect not much progress. (I am working on many fun lesson plans that include my best friend and I playing songs on our guitars.)
I am also trying not to fail English again like I did last year so I am studying away! Hope you understand why all the fic delays!
Thankies! Oh and by the way REVIEW FOR ME PLEASE! (they make me feel special!)
TheDudeLordOfFantasy a.k.a. Kathleen