Chapter 28

Aragorn did not know what to do about Elena. He was in love with her. There was no doubt in his heart or mind that he loved her and wanted her to be his wife. When he had kissed her in the garden he'd felt as though his soul were on fire. And it had seemed as though she enjoyed the kiss, at least at first. The look in her eyes before she had dashed away haunted him. She had been terrified. The young woman who had lead her people in battle against hundreds of thousands of orcs, who stood up in his council and rallied fearlessly for the rights and needs of her people, had been terrified of a kiss. No, he thought shaking his head. She had been terrified of HIM. He didn't understand any of this and he needed answers. There was only one person who could possibly tell him what he needed to know. He found Faramir in the library. His steward was very fond of this room. Faramir looked up as he entered.

"My lord," he said laying his book aside.

"Is anything wrong?" he asked noting the distressed look upon his king's face. Aragorn avoided his steward's eye for a moment. He knew how close Faramir and his sister were. His steward might not warm to the idea of Aragorn making advances toward his sister.

"I need to speak with you Faramir," Aragorn said. "About your sister." Faramir's eyes widened and he rose immediately to his feet.

"Elena?

What is it? Is she all right?" Aragorn sighed.

"I kissed her," he said. Best to just be honest and lay it all out on the table. Faramir stared at him, his expression unreadable.

"I see," Faramir said. Faramir began to pace about the room in silence. The silence quickly became unbearable. Aragorn almost wished Faramir would yell, or hit him or challenge him to a duel. Finally after what seemed like forever, Faramir looked him dead in the eyes.

"Sire," he said very seriously. "I am not blind to the attention you have been paying my sister. I have seen the way you look at her. I know you are a good man Aragorn. I respect you as my king, and as my friend."

"And I am honored by that my friend," Aragorn said sincerely.

"However you must understand, that I am a brother, first and foremost. With the only exception being my wife, Elena is the most precious thing in the world to me. Even more now, since Boromir…"

"I understand," Aragorn said.

"My lord," Faramir said. "What are your intentions toward Elena?" Apparently, Faramir had decided to be blunt as well. Aragorn stared him straight in the eye.

"I want to marry her." Faramir raised a brow at that.

"I see," Faramir said. "She is certainly a fair prospect. She was born in this city, daughter of the former steward. The people know her. They respect her. They even love her. I dare say they already think of her as their queen."

"Yes," Aragorn said. "But that is not why I wish to marry her. As King, I must consider the needs of my people this is true. But as a man I'm going to be selfish. I am in love with her, Faramir. I love her with all my heart and soul."

"As you loved Arwen Undomiel?" Faramir stared at him wryly. Aragorn smiled dryly.

"Arwen was a dream," Aragorn said. "A wonderful dream, but one that I knew deep inside could never be. What I feel for Elena is real. I hope you believe me."

"I do my lord," Faramir said. "What are her feelings?" Aragorn ran a hand over his eyes.

"I don't know," Aragorn said. "There are times when I think she may share my feelings. When I kissed her I could feel her respond to me. At least at first. Then something changed. I cannot explain it."

"She was frightened," Faramir said. Aragorn stared at him curiously.

"Yes," he said. "How did you know?" Faramir looked away from him. Aragorn could tell the younger man was having a huge battle within himself, trying to come to a decision. After a long silence he turned and looked at the king.

"My lord," he said. "What I am going to tell you, I do so only because I believe you to be sincere when you say you love Elena. However, you may wish to reconsider your desire to wed her once I have told you. There will be no loss of friendship on my part if you do, but I would ask that this remain between us." Aragorn nodded. He could not imagine what Faramir could possibly tell him that would make him not want Elena.

"You have my word," Aragorn promised. Faramir nodded.

"When she was a child, Elena was Boromir's and my little shadow. She followed us everywhere. There wasn't anything we wouldn't do for her. Our mother died when Elena was fifteen. After our mother's death Elena changed, rather suddenly. The lively little girl that used to follow us everywhere suddenly was wandering through these halls like a ghost. Boromir assumed it was due to her grief over our mother's death. I knew it was something more. I did not know what it was until very recently. Our father, it is more from habit that I call him that, he raped her the night our mother died, and every night after that for a year until she stood up to him. I think in Denethor mind Elena was taking my mother's place as lady of the house, in all manners." Aragorn's blood ran cold and he felt his stomach churn. What kind of man did such a thing to his own child? It explained so much. Her fear of his affections, her reactions to his touch, the haunted look in her eyes whenever he spoke of her father.

"Can you understand Elena's reaction now, my lord?"

"Yes," Aragorn said. "But it changes nothing about how I feel about her. If anything, I feel more for her now than I did before. Not every woman can experience such horrors as a child and overcome them, even a little."

"She has not overcome them completely. She still has the nightmares, not as often as she used to but she still has them. She is afraid of men, afraid of physical affection. There are many men who would not be so understanding of such things. Can you honestly tell me, Aragorn that you could marry woman, who is terrified at very idea of having sex, of bearing your child, heir to the throne of Gondor?" Aragorn understood his steward's concern. To marry a woman, who could not provide an heir, was quite an unspeakable act for a king.

"I do not believe that this will be the case," Aragorn said. "there was a moment when I kissed her that she was not afraid of me. I believe that with time Elena can overcome her fear of physical intimacy. Time that I want to give her." Faramir stared at the king thoughtfully.

"You truly love her, don't you my king?"

"I do."

Elena was miserable. Ever since Aragorn had kissed her in the garden the other night she had been unable to face him. She did not understand what she was feeling. When the king's lips had touched hers she had felt as though her entire body was on fire, from the top of her head to the tips of her toes. But then suddenly all she had been able to see was Denethor. All she could feel were his hands on her, ripping her clothes, and battering her body causing her indescribable pain. She was so confused. She knew that she felt something for the king that was much more than friendship. Yet, the shadows of her father's cruelty still loomed over her making her afraid of his affection. She'd been avoiding him ever since. It had not been easy and she knew that she could not keep it up forever. She jumped at the knock on her door.

"Elena," Eowyn's voice called from the other side of the door. Elena stood and opened the door for the older woman. Eowyn entered a large pile of parchment in her arms.

"Elena I've been looking for you," Eowyn said setting the parchment down on the table. "I have the final numbers. I thought we should go over them before the council tomorrow." Eowyn looked up from the parchment she was holding. One look at her sister in laws face and she dropped the scroll. She crossed the room in three strides and gripped Elena's shoulders.

"What's wrong?" Eowyn asked her. Elena shook her head clearing her thoughts.

"Nothing," Elena said pulling away and going to the table. "So the numbers…"

"The numbers are not what worry me right now," Eowyn said snatching the parchment from Elena's fingers.

"There's something wrong, Elena. I see it all over your face. You've been avoiding everyone. We've all noticed." Elena ducked her head. She should know better than to try and hide and her feelings from her sister. With an anguished sigh she plopped down on the bed.

"I don't know what to do Eowyn. I'm so confused." Eowyn sat beside her and wrapped an arm around her shoulder.

"What troubles you darling?" Eowyn asked stroking the younger girl's dark hair, which fell in a curtain around her shoulders. Elena buried her face in Eowyn's shoulder as hot scalding tears fell from her eyes.

"I don't know what's wrong with me," she said. "Aragorn…he…"

"What?" Eowyn said, tenderly stroking her cheek. "What did Aragorn do?" Elena ran a hand over her eyes.

"He kissed me," Elena said. "Two nights ago out in the gardens." Eowyn sat straight up and took Elena's shoulders.

"Elena, did he force you…"

"No," Elena said quickly. "It wasn't anything like that."

"What's wrong then?" Elena stared down at her lap. Tears ran down her face and she did not bother to stop them.

"I think I may have feelings for him." Eowyn looked confused.

"What's wrong with that darling?" Elena covered her face with her hands as she fell back onto the bed.

"He's the King," Elena said.

"So?" Eowyn asked laying back beside her. "It's not a crime to care for him. Especially when he obviously cares for you as well."

"You don't understand," Elena said. Eowyn turned on her side so that she could look down into Elena's face.

"Elena," she said softly. "Are you in love with him?"

"I don't know," she choking. "There are times though, when he looks at me, and oh I can hardly breathe. And when he kissed me, it felt so right and so wonderful but then all I felt was terror. Because it wasn't Aragorn touching me anymore." Elena heaved a huge breath.

"It was him."

"Who?" Eowyn asked. Elena turned and saw the confusion in Eowyn's face. She was a little surprised. Though they never spoke of it, she had thought that Faramir would have told Eowyn about their father and what he had done to her. She had sworn him to secrecy of course, but she truly would not have minded if he had told his wife. She sighed.

"My father," she said. "My father raped me when I was fifteen." She looked hard at Eowyn searching for any sign of disgust, but saw only sadness.

"Oh lord," Eowyn gasped. Elena wiped her suddenly sweaty palms on the skirt of her dark dress.

"The first time was the night my mother died."

"First time," Eowyn said carefully. "This happened more than once."

"Every night for nearly a year. He would come into my room late at night. After he was done I would just huddle under my covers and cry. Then in the morning I would see the bruises where he beat me."

"My God," Eowyn said. "I am so sorry Elena. Did you ever tell anyone?" Elena stood up and walked toward the window, her arms folded across her chest.

"Not while it was happening. My brothers I believe suspected something was going on. I became so cold and distant to them, for what my father was doing made me shudder at even their hands. After a year, I could take no more and I finally found the strength to fight back. He had me in the weaponry. Somehow I got my hand around a sword. I told him that I would not tell the truth about what he was, but that he would never lay a hand on me again. He did not touch me after that night. Boromir died without ever knowing. The first person I ever told was Pippin. Even now I don't know what it was about that little hobbit that made me confide in him. But doing so helped relieve the burden a bit. I only told Faramir very recently. I was certain he would have told you."

"He did not. I had sensed there was something about your father, but I did not feel it was my place to ask." Elena nodded.

"I'm glad you know," Elena said. "You're my family." Eowyn stood up and wrapped an arm around her shoulder. They stood together for a few minutes in silence.

"He's a good man," Eowyn said after a while.

"I know," Elena said stiffening.

"He would understand," Eowyn said.

"No," Elena said shaking her head. "He can't. No man could marry a woman who is too terrified to be touched. Especially the king." Eowyn opened her mouth but before she could say anything there was a knock on the door. Elena wiped her eyes with the back of her hands and went to the door. She opened it and felt her heart drop down into her knees. The king stood there. He looked different. His royal finery was gone and he wore a simple tunic and trousers. He was slightly less intimidating this way but it did not ease the fear she felt in her heart.

"Good evening my lord," she said softly bowing her head.

"Good evening, Elena," the king greeted her. "I need to speak with you. May I come in?" Elena sucked in her breath. He was asking to enter her bedchambers. The last man to enter her chambers, other than her brothers, was Denethor.

"Good evening Aragorn," Eowyn greeted the king from behind Eowyn.

"Eowyn," Aragorn greeted his steward's wife. He noted the protective stance that Eowyn had taken behind her sister in law. It was all too familiar.

"It's all right Eowyn," Elena said stepping back so Aragorn could enter the chamber. "I'm sure that the King only wishes to talk." Eowyn shot Elena a questioning look but Elena only nodded. Finally Eowyn relented, but before leaving she shot Aragorn a piercing look. That one look spoke volumes of what would happen to Aragorn if any harm befell Elena. Aragorn nodded in understanding. Eowyn nodded to him and left the room. Elena's heart was racing as she faced her king.

'It's all right,' she told herself. 'Don't be afraid. He won't hurt you. You are not helpless.'

"Elena," Aragorn began.

"My lord," Elena said quickly her pulse racing. "I'm sorry for what happened the other night."

"It is I who should apologize to you, Elena." Aragorn said gently. Elena looked at the floor her hair falling in her face.

"I'm sorry I reacted the way I did my lord," Elena said. "I am unaccustomed to such attention from men. I dare say I was…surprised."

"I think you were more than surprised, Elena," Aragorn said softly stepping toward her. "You were terrified." Elena's instincts screamed at her to back away but she forced herself not to move. She looked up and met the king's eye.

"Elena," Aragorn said his voice full of emotion. "I cannot deny my feelings for you any longer. I believe you know that I care for you as more than a friend." Elena's breath caught in her throat. Her head was spinning.

"My lord…" she said, her voice broke.

"I love you Elena," Aragorn said taking her hands. "I am in love with you." Tears burned at Elena's eyes as the king stared at her with such tenderness. His eyes were so blue and so intense.

"I want you to marry me Elena," he said. Elena choked back a sob. She pulled away and turned to the window.
"I cannot," Elena said, her heart breaking as she spoke. She stiffened as she felt Aragorn's hand on her shoulder.

"Elena," he said gently turning her to face him. Her eyes were on the floor and he gently tipped her chin up so she was looking him in the eye.

"Can you honestly tell me you do not feel the same for me?" he asked tenderly. "Does you heart not race when I am near you?"

"It does my lord," Elena confessed softly. "I care for you a great deal. But I cannot marry you. There are things about me that…if you knew you would not want me to be your wife." Aragorn cupped her face and looked at her so intensely that she flinched.

"I do know Elena," he said. Elena's blood turned to ice as he spoke. He knew? He knew about her father? No, he couldn't. How could he know? The only ones who knew were herself, Pippin and…Faramir. Elena's face grew hot and her hands shook as realization struck her. With Aragorn's sense of honor he would have gone to Faramir to ask his blessing before asking her to marry him. Rage, hurt and shame flooded through her. Faramir had told Aragorn what her father had done. In fury she tore away from Aragorn and ran from the room. Her blood pounded and her vision blurred as she ran to her brother's chamber. She threw open the door without bothering to knock.

"How dare you!" she shouted rushing at him where he stood by the window. Faramir did not resist as she beat at him with her fists.

"How dare you!" she shouted. "How dare you tell him! You had no right! It was not your place! How could you! How could you tell him! I didn't want him to know!" Faramir's arms wrapped around her waist as her shouts of rage crumbled into wrenching sob and she collapsed against him.

"Shh," he soothed her stroking her hair.

"I didn't want him to know," Elena whimpered against his chest. "Not him. Not HIM."

"Why not him?" Faramir asked softly. "Why Elena?" Elena sucked in a long painful breath.

"Because I…" How could she explain? How could she explain that the idea of Aragorn knowing that she had been raped by her own father hurt her deeper than any blow delivered by her father ever could. Aragorn. Good, strong, beautiful Aragorn now knew how damaged she was, how sullied. And it tore her up inside.

"Because you love him," Faramir said for her. Elena cried harder because it was true. She loved the King. But she could not marry him. The idea of being touched by a man not her brother still made her ill. As the queen she would be expected to perform certain duties. She could not marry him, and it broke her heart.

"I cannot love him," she whimpered.

"Why not Elena?" Elena clung harder to Faramir as she heard his voice. She buried her face in Faramir's shoulder, unable to look at him.

"I'm broken," she cried.

"Show me one person on this entire world who is not broken," Aragorn said. "I know what your father did to you, Elena. I cannot even begin to imagine the pain you must feel. But it does not change the fact that I am in love with you, and I know that you feel the same for me. All you have endured, all you have suffered. Don't you deserve to be happy? Don't you deserve to be loved? Can't you allow yourself to love me, as I love you?" Elena wanted it so much. She wanted so much for the king to hold her and make her feel safe and loved. But her fears could not allow it.

"I cannot," she cried pulling away from her brother and rushing for the door.

"No," Faramir said catching her arms. She struggled against him but he held her in a tight grip.

"You will not run away from this," Faramir said firmly. "We are not cowards, we do not run from what frightens us."

"I cannot love him," Elena cried, scalding tears threatening to choke her.

"Why?" Faramir said. "Elena, you told me that our father could not hurt you anymore. Yet you allow him to continue his hold on you. How are you ever going to be free of him, if you cannot even tell the man you love that you love him?" Faramir's words hit Elena's heart with a jolt. She knew that he was right. She had ended the physical torment her father inflicted on her when she was sixteen. She had been terrified but she had found the strength somehow. If she was ever going to be happy, truly happy, she had to free herself once and for all. She pulled away from Faramir and turned to Aragorn. Her hands were sweaty and her knees trembled as she moved to stand in front of him. She forced herself to look into his eyes. The love she saw there filled her with a strength like she'd never known before.

"I love you," she said her voice trembling. As the words left her mouth she felt as though a terrible weight were lifting from her heart.

"I love you so much," she cried throwing herself into his arms. As Aragorn's arms closed around her shaking form she felt as though she were finally home after wandering in the woods a long lonely time.

Aragorn's heart was bursting with happiness as he held Elena in his arms. Over her head he saw Faramir smiling at the two of them. As his steward slowly left the room he shot Aragorn a look. Aragorn saw the emotion in Faramir's eyes and knew that with just that look Faramir had given he had imparted something very sacred unto Aragorn. A responsibility and a trust with something very precious. Aragorn nodded his understanding.

"I will take care of her," he promised silently. He carefully guided Elena over to the bed and sat her down. He sat down next to her and wrapped an arm around her shoulder. With a tired sigh Elena rested her head on his shoulder.

"My beautiful Elena," Aragorn said kissing the top of her head. "I love you so much." Elena smiled weakly.

"Marry me?" he asked softly. Elena sighed.

"Oh Aragorn," she said sadly. "I love you more than I ever thought I could love anyone. But my fears…"

"Listen to me Elena," he said kneeling before her. "I understand that you are afraid to be touched intimately. After what you have been through it's perfectly normal. But I believe, I truly believe that you can overcome this." Elena stared at him in disbelief.

"How can you be sure?" Elena said.

"Because there was a moment in the gardens, when I kissed you, that you were not afraid of me." Elena had to admit he was right.

"I do not wish to be afraid anymore, Aragorn," she said softly.

"Let me help you," Aragorn said tenderly. "Let me help you put these fears behind you. It will take time, but if you will trust me, I believe you can be healed from this." Elena's thoughts were flying a mile a minute. Could he truly help her? Was the King's love enough to heal her?

"You would give me time?" she asked.

"As long as it takes," he promised her. Fresh tears were in her eyes as she threw her arms around him.

"Yes," she whispered.

"Yes?" Aragorn asked, holding his breath.

"Yes," Elena said. "I will marry you, Aragorn." Aragorn felt as though he could fly. He held her at arms length and gently touched her face.

"You have made me so happy, Elena." He swallowed hard. "I would like very much to kiss you right now." He felt her tense but she did not pull away.

"I believe I would like that also, my lord." He leaned close and kissed her softly on the lips. Elena closed her eyes as his lips touched hers. The kiss was gentle and held no demands, no expectations. Only love. When he pulled away Aragorn felt as though he would drown in her eyes.

"It is a start," he said taking her hand. Elena smiled. Though she was still afraid, somehow in her deepest heart she knew it would be all right.