Atop the Rocks
Disclaimer: I don't own the Misfits or Kingdom Hearts. The characters of David Huff, Ted Griffin, and Emily Arlington are my creations, however.
Author's Note: My muse for Worlds Without End wound up breaking my heart in eight places. Subsequently after a long and difficult recovery which involved a trip through the mountains of Wyoming I decided I should start a fresh story instead of continue writing one inspired by a damaged heart.
The gray Toyota Tundra pickup truck continued its solitary journey along the road leading to the Pit. For nearly fifteen hours the man had been on the road on an inexorable journey leading south and east from his home in British Colombia, Canada. It was his fourth day of living off of food from fast food joints, sleeping in his truck, and meandering down busy highways and mountain roads.
I'm not due at the Pit for another day or so and I'm about three hours away. The driver thought. He certainly wasn't hungry, he'd just wolfed down a burger and french-fries at the local Burger King and washed it down with a soda. The last item was still one fourth finished, the ice melting into the plastic cup. In the cab and bed of the pickup were all of his earthly possessions.
He passed by a particularly large and interesting rock formation and he pulled over beside it. He took off his hiking boots and put his climbing shoes on. It was about two hundred and fifty feet tall, and he took his Israeli Defense Force issue rappelling gear began his climb to the top of the mesa. When he was on the rock, nothing could touch him; nothing mattered except for climbing the next few feet upward to the top of the rock.
After finally pulling himself over the top he stood, admiring the view of the desert below. The sun was just starting to set below the horizon. There were miles of open desert out in front of him and he stood, briefly, admiring the view. Presently he realized it was time to walk back down to his truck and maybe head off to the nearest rest area and catch some shuteye.
Emily Arlington, of Her Majesty's Secret Service, now assigned to work at a place called the Pit, walked with the big black man named Roadblock. She'd just arrived from the UK two days prior and thus was still a bit jetlagged.
As she and Roadblock walked into the reception area, where new personnel arrived, she noticed a fellow wearing a pair of tan Arcteryx pants, an olive green t-shirt with Hebrew script she could only guess at, and hiking boots. This had to be that new bloke from Israel, as his swarthy complexion and t-shirt attested.
It was about then that the newcomer turned. He saw the pair heading his way, a powerfully muscled African American man with a shaven skull and a petite, dark haired woman. It was then that Ted Griffin felt like he'd been walloped with a steel pipe. He had seen the woman of the pair before somewhere, years ago. She looked different, he barely recognized her now.
Emily Arlington forgot entirely about the jetlag. The man standing a few feet away was familiar, she knew him. As this happened they approached each other. How does one pick up a conversation or restart a friendship more than ten years old. So much had changed in him.
Roadblock turned to her just then, "You know each other?"
"Yes." Emily replied.
"We've met before." Ted supplied.
Roadblock took in the interaction between his two new teammates. They obviously knew each other, but how? He'd have to figure it out somehow.
"Marvin Hinton." Roadblock said, extending a meaty hand, "People call me Roadblock."
"Ted Griffin. I can see why."
Roadblock noted the Canadian tone to the man's voice, obviously unusual for an Israeli soldier. "Well, have you gotten all your paperwork done?" Roadblock asked.
Ted nodded and shortly after, Roadblock's cell phone rang. He picked it up and groaned, "Not again. Listen, can you wait here…?"
"I've got a vehicle outside." Ted replied.
"I hate to be rude, but we're having a problem with a certain chef's food." Roadblock replied, "Emily can show you the way back."
As Roadblock left, Ted turned towards Emily and broke an otherwise awkward silence, "What's the big emergency? Why would they need him to fix a problem in the kitchen?"
"The chef, BA he's called, had to have caused another disaster." Emily replied.
Ted raised an eyebrow and looked at her, "What? How is that so aching urgent?"
"If you've seen what the Bean Burrito Bonanza does..." Emily replied.
"What sort of place is this?" Ted replied as they walked out to his truck, "And what kind of unit did we just join?"
"Well," Emily began, "I wish Roadblock were here to give you a better explanation of what you've signed up for. But we're working as the intelligence section for a team of mutants working with the Joes called the 'Misfits'."
They climbed into the truck and Ted started the engine, "I've heard of these guys when I was in Israel. Didn't this Admiral named Shipwreck start a recruiting commercial? (AN: See Be All You Shouldn't Be by Red Witch)."
"Shipwreck, from what I've seen of him is many things, but an admiral isn't one of them." Emily quipped.
"We were watching TV in the team room once and they showed the two recruiting commercials during a soccer match." Ted replied, "I've also heard one or two rumors about the Misfits, but what can you tell me?"
"Well," Emily replied, "They're a group of teenagers, formerly part of the Brotherhood of Mutants, but when Magneto abandoned them, they were rescued by the Joes and now are the US Army's mutant team."
"How long have you been here?" Ted asked.
"About forty eight hours." Emily replied.
"You picked this up in two days?" Ted replied.
"It's my job, for one thing," Emily smiled serenely, "And also, I ran the section on mutants for Her Majesty's Secret Service for a while. We had a large enough one for the Brotherhood and thus we have quite a file on the Misfits."
"Certainly not something I could ever see you doing." Ted replied.
"You missed a lot since you headed out to Israel all those years ago." Emily replied.
Ted followed Emily's directions for another fifteen minutes and parked in front of Misfit Manor. As soon as they climbed down from the vehicle they could hear shouting and the sounds of explosions and a few tremors.
"There he is!"
"Don't let him get away!"
"Kill him! Kill him!"
Over the nearby hill came an old man in stained cook whites with a greasy apron and chef's hat. Flying by him were several knives, hex bolts, and assorted projectiles. He was being chased by several cacti that were glowing blue for some reason.
"Take it easy! How was I supposed to know that Bean Burritos give the Blob bad gas!" BA shouted as the Misfits, handler and charge alike, chased him.
"The Blob?" Ted asked.
"His real name is Fred Dukes. He eats enough to feed a London homeless shelter with seconds in one sitting." Emily replied, with an exasperated sigh.
Ted watched in amazement as he saw the army of cacti catch up to BA and start beating him up.
"OW! OW! OW! OW! OW!" came the shouts.
POW! WHACK! WHAM! THUD! POKE POKE POKE!
"Come on! Mercy! Mercy!" BA shouted.
"No way!" Wanda shouted, "Not after you fed Blob those burritos!"
"Especially with that Nitro Nuclear Picante Delight!" Pietro added, "C'mon sis, get him!"
"You gave the Blob enough methane to render an area the size of Salt Lake City uninhabitable!" Shipwreck shouted as he charged over the hill where a dozen hexed cacti were beating up BA.
"We'd best get indoors." Emily warned.
Wordlessly, Ted nodded. Emily opened the front door and they walked inside. Almost as soon as she walked inside she was promptly knocked over by an invisible force. She didn't even have time to issue a full fledged scream when the force knocked her to the ground.
From thin air appeared a mutant with golden hair and green lizard scales. A bag of empty cookies lay on the floor.
Ted pulled the creature off of her, "What is that thing?"
"How should I know?" Emily snapped back, rising to her feet
"You live here." Ted retorted.
An African American man wearing sunglasses came running out of the nearby living room, "Oh thank God you guys found Xi."
"Who are you?" Ted asked.
"Oh, I see we haven't been properly introduced."
"Emily Arlington."
"Ted Griffin."
"They call me the Blind Master. And Xi, what were you doing?"
"My pouncing reflexes are 1/100th a second slower than normal, I was practicing." Xi replied, as if pouncing on random people was the most natural thing in the world.
Just then a tall red haired woman walked into the room, with a discarded cookie bag in her left hand. "Alright, who gave Xi cookies?"
"Oreos…" Xi said, "HUGS!"
Xi immediately threw his arms around Emily and then began hugging everyone in the room. And then he vanished into thin air. She stood, half shocked, half bewildered. The household was bizarre, but this lizard had taken the weirdness to a completely new level.
"Your files never mentioned this?" Ted asked, "Whatever happened to 'the big file' on the Misfits?"
"Obviously he wasn't in it." Emily replied.
"Oh, where are my manners." Blind Master replied, "Cover Girl, this is Ted Griffin, I believe he comes from the Israeli Border Guard. It's been a long time."
"I'd love to stay and chat." Cover Girl said, "But I'd better get Xi calmed down."
Ted wondered, as he walked upstairs, just what he'd just wandered into. As he heard KC and the Sunshine Band playing in the next room and saw Xi dancing around in a John Travolta stance he couldn't help but laugh.
Emily Arlington raised an eyebrow as the genetically ex-COBRA assassin danced 70s style through the living room singing, "Everybody c'mon and sound your funky horn…."
Lance walked out of the meditation room, a recent addition Spirit had built onto Misfit Manor, he had just been carrying out a recommended session with his spirit guide. Unfortunately the Spirit Guide in question sounded like Pietro. Even more unfortunately, said spirit guide was now following him out of the room.
He wandered through the living room just in time to see Xi dancing to a KC and the Sunshine Band song. "Come on Lance! Sound your funky horn!" Xi said.
"Yeah Lance," said the Coyote, "Let's dance…"
The Coyote spun round and appeared wearing a white disco suit and began dancing around. Lance groaned, "Remind me to kill Shipwreck for leaving those disco albums around Xi."
"Oh come on, where's your funky horn…" The Coyote said, honking a tiny silver bicycle horn directly into his ear.
"Shut up!" Lance shouted.
"Lighten up, will you!" the Coyote said.
"WILL SOMEONE GET THIS SILVER FURRED MANIAC AWAY FROM ME!" Lance shouted.
"Lance?" Emily said, as she walked into the room, "Who are you talking to?"
"Yes I'm talking about you! That's right you flea bitten, four footed lunatic!" Lance shouted and started punching away at the air, narrowly missing Emily.
"Watch out!" she yelped with surprise.
Meanwhile Xi did several back flips interspersed with an assortment of John Travolta Friday Night Fever moves. He began kicking and ninja moving through the air, knocking over a vase, a lamp, and upending a footstool.
"Wow," Toad said, as he wandered inside, "It's a party in here yo."
Toad jumped into the air, colliding with Xi. They danced around while Lance chased his invisible annoyance with a poker from the fireplace.
"Come on get down!" Xi and Toad shouted in unison.
"That's right!" Emily shouted, "Get down from the bloody ceiling before you destroy the living room!"
"In case you haven't noticed, Emily," Cover Girl said, as the three mutants carried on like a trio of baboons, "destruction and chaos are the order of the day here. This will be the fourth time that the ceiling in the living room has had to be replaced."
"What?" Emily asked as her eyes popped wide open as Xi and Toad did several 70s moves upside down on the ceiling and Lance was rolling around the floor, fighting with what appeared to be thin air.
"OW! Quit Biting! Quit Biting!" Lance shouted.
"Don't mess with the fur lover boy!" The Coyote replied, "Just because I made a sound observation doesn't mean your should get mad."
"Sound observation! SOUND OBSERVATION! I'LL GIVE YOU A SOUND OBSERVATION FLEABAG!"
Emily Arlington, in the years she had spent with Her Majesty's Secret Service, never imagined that she would ever see anything like this. No wonder that COBRA gave the Misfits a wide berth when it came to attacking them. What infiltrator would be stupid enough to sneak into Misfit Manor?
TBC