Ok so I promised myself when I started writing fanfics that I wouldn't have more than one fic going at the same time but what can I say? I was compelled to write this… couldn't tell you why. Just popped into my head… will definitely be a chapter fic although I couldn't tell you when the next one will be. Reviews make me happy so I'll update if I get um.

Disclaimer: I don't own Cruel Intentions and am making absolutely no money from this

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

My eyes scan the crowd at yet another of my stepmother's famous parties. I really will never understand why she insists on having these stupid incestuous things. She has them under the guise of raising money for charity but if you actually attend its quite obvious that her main objective is to get drunk and fuck around behind my father's back. Bitch.

Then my eyes land on her. My god. I thought our parents disowned her after the "incident". As we refer to it around society now. Why is she here? When did she return? And who are the three men who seem to be standing improperly close to her? These are the questions that run through my mind as I gaze at her. It truly is funny. Even now, when we haven't seen each other in nearly two years, we match. It was hardly a coincidence when this used to happen, you see, before we left to go somewhere together I would sneak a peek into her room to see what she was wearing so I could match my own clothing to hers so we would look good together, I know its juvenile but what can I say? I was obsessed. Now though… how do we still match so perfectly? She is wearing a sleeveless deep green gown that matches her eyes, as well as my shirt, flawlessly. It has always been like this so I suppose I shouldn't be surprised but it is a little unnerving.

A while later I look over again and am shocked by what I see. She's smiling. She's really smiling. Not the fake smile she puts on for society. But her truly genuine smile. I thought I was the only person that ever saw that smile. Who is it at? Who does she trust enough to let them see her real emotions? I glance at the people she is talking to and at first do not recognize the men I see. Then it hits me. They are the same men who were standing so very close to her earlier.

What relationships do they have with her? Surly no more than mere lovers. No… they can't be just that… even when Kathryn was sleeping with someone she rarely trusted them enough to let them see the real her. No, they are not just playthings. But what else could they be?

One of the men whispers something in her ear. Kathryn smiles in response and begins leading them toward the door. Right as they are about to leave Kathryn glances over her shoulder and for an instant our eyes lock. I see something flash across her face but cannot determine what it is before she is gone.

The next day I'm still thinking about her. Well, mostly wondering, jealously I might add, who those men with her were, what they meant to her, and mostly how they made her smile like that. God it used to hold so much meaning for me. When we were at parties or at school or just around anyone else and she had her Mary Sunshine face on, all she would do was smile at me and I'd be blown away. Now, she was smiling just the same at those men. The smile I thought she reserved for me. I want to know why.

What exactly I was expecting to happen when I got home later I'm not sure… but it's definitely not what did happen. The first thing I hear as I step in the door is screaming. Tiffany screaming. I don't get every word but I think the gist of it is that she'd caught my father with another woman. Oh god this could be bad. I walk further into the house. I see my father standing in the doorway of his and Tiffany's bedroom with nothing on but his boxers. There's a drop dead gorgeous woman with a sheet around her next to him. It's worse than I thought. She'd obviously caught them in the act. I look at the source of all the noise. She looks like shit. Tears running down her face, hands waving, make up running. Oh please… like she doesn't do the same thing.

Then I see her. I don't know how I missed her when I first came in. She's standing off to the side staring at her mother, like she's watching a movie and the events have nothing to do with her. Will she never cease to amaze me? The Kathryn I thought I knew would have been comforting her mother while trying to repress a smirk. Yet here she was… not smirking, not trying to quiet her mother, not doing anything. Just observing. Why?

Then it hits me. She did this. Kathryn set my father up. Oh god she just got home and she's already scheming. I let a laugh escape me. Bad idea. Tiffany turns on me. "Think this funny do you?" I resist the urge to laugh again. "Well! We'll see if you and your father still think it's funny when you end up on the streets!" I stare at her. "Tiffany." My father finally says. "What exactly do you mean by that?" "I mean you'll be ruined for this! Don't think I'll just take this lying down. Oh no! We're going to court. I'm going to get every last cent out of you for doing this to me!"

"Now mother… don't you think this is being just a little rash?" She speaks. Tiffany turns to her daughter. "What?" Her voice is cold as ice. "Divorce. Honestly mother, you are being a little audacious. You haven't even thought this out. Think of what this could do to your reputation." Tiffany becomes interested at the thought of her precious reputation being in danger. "What do you mean Kathryn?" Kathryn gets a disgusted look on her face, as if she's speaking to a lower life form. "I'm only saying mother, that it would not only hurt Edward if this got out, people would think that you could no longer hold on to a man. That you finally were loosing your touch." Tiffany looks more upset by this than anything else that has transpired in the last half hour. "Well?" Kathryn looks impatient. "Alright… I won't do anything right away." "Good, now come on, we're going shopping."

This doesn't make any sense. Why would Kathryn set this whole thing up, I'm positive it was her doing, to have it come to nothing. She obviously wanted them to divorce or else she wouldn't have gone to all this trouble. Why would she stop it from happening? She must have something else in mind that is of a considerably larger benefit to her. But what could it be? I sit on my bed trying to decipher her actions. Two years ago I would have just walked in her room and asked her and I know she would have told me. Now, I'm not sure and for some reason the thought that she wouldn't scares me. It would make it painfully obvious how far apart we really have grown. I know this shouldn't bother me but she was such a big part of my life for so long, my journal proves that.

Oh god my journal. She probably hates me. Maybe I should go in there and tell her she was right all along. My relationship with Annette really was doomed to fail. Before, when we were having troubles I thought it was just Kathryn interfering. It turns out we just weren't compatible. I realized this when Kathryn left. She couldn't have had anything to do with the end of us. Maybe if I told her that she'd forgive me. Ha. Kathryn… forgive, that'll happen when hell freezes over! No, even if I told her she was right it doesn't change everything I did to her. God… sometimes I can't believe I actually did what I did. Then I remember… I'm just a toy. She deserved everything she got.

I look out my open door towards her closed one. Even if I did suck it up and decide to talk to her I couldn't do it right now. She's not even home. She hasn't been home since she left with her mother. While Tiffany came back a few hours ago, Kathryn has yet to return. My dear stepmother said she had gone to meet up with some friends. Meeting friends? Now that I can't believe. I tell myself I don't care and Kathryn can do whatever… and whomever… she wants. I don't care about her anymore. Even as I think this I know it's a lie. I don't think I'll ever really be over Kathryn. She was the first and strongest love I've ever had. She was my obsession. One rarely forgets feelings that strong.

I hear a noise. My first thought is that it's Kathryn but then I realize it's probably just some inept servant. I go back to thinking. Then I see her. Kathryn and… I'm not really sure who the guy is. I know I shouldn't pay any attention to them but for some reason I still hate seeing her with other guys. She's holding his hand and leading him into her bedroom. A few minutes later I stand up knowing all the while I shouldn't. I try not to but I find myself walking over to her closed door. I don't knock. Seeing her with another guy is more painful than it should be. She's lost her shirt and he's down to his boxers. They don't notice me at first. Then Kathryn glances up. There's that look again, the same look that crossed her face as she was leaving the party. It's gone as soon as it appeared.

She gently pushes the guy off her. He looks confused until, "Hello Sebastian." Her voice is just like I remember it. "Hey sis." The guy looks between us. "Um… maybe I should go." He gets up to leave. "No," Kathryn says while looking at me. "Just give my stepbrother and I a moment." She turns to him. "You can wait in Sebastian's room, it's right across the hall."

"So," I say when he's gone. "Who's the guy?" She looks at me. If looks could kill… "Wow Sebastian… you look surprisingly well for a dead man." Oh fuck. "Kathryn…" I try to explain but she cuts me off. "It's odd… I know I shouldn't be surprised that it was all a game… that you lied to me… but for some odd reason, I am. Maybe I trusted you and you betrayed that trust… or maybe you just gave me what I had coming. I don't know and I don't care, all I care about is that you leave me alone. I just got out of two YEARS of rehab that I was only in because of you… now maybe the old me would have already been planning to get revenge but truthfully, I don't care anymore. All I want to do is live my life without you interfering. All we are to each other is stepsiblings. Our… partnership, our mutual infatuation, our… whatever the hell else you could call us is over. I'm done with you Sebastian."

"Oh come on! Do you actually expect me to believe that?" "No… I don't. I know you probably think I'm only doing all this to throw you off balance and I don't blame you, I'd expect no less. But that doesn't change the fact that it's true. I'm done wasting my life destroying other people's. It's all a waste don't you think?" Jesus Christ she can't be serious! No she's lying, this isn't Kathryn. "Who are you?" I ask her, because I truly don't know. The Kathryn I knew would never do something like this. No, Kathryn could never change. Never. God she's smiling. Why is she smiling? "It's still me Sebastian. I've just changed a little; I think you of all people should understand that. I mean you did become a totally different person in a few days didn't you?" "No," I might as well tell the truth. "You were right. I didn't change. Annette and I were never right for each other and our relationship ended quite a while ago." "Wow Sebastian, you sit here telling me you haven't changed and yet the very fact that you're doing that proves to me that you have. The man you used to be would have never admitted being wrong. No, you've definitely changed. Why else would you have made this true confession?" I can't stop myself. "Because I missed you!"

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

the more reviews I get the quicker I'll be to update soo….